I'm not really sure what was making me cry. It could have been the fact that his arm seemed to fit around me perfectly, or how he was clutching onto the sheets next to me like Jake use to. All I knew was that when I looked down and saw his arm there I didn't get sad, I didn't have the urge to shove him off or slap him like I thought I would, and for the first time since Jake had died I actually felt safe. It was a moment and a feeling I've been dreaming about experiencing for close to a year now and I can assure you that not only did I never think it was going to come, but I never imagined Justin be the one it would be with. I don't know exactly what this means because there is no possible way that I can have feelings for Justin Timberlake. I'm either crying due to nostalgia, or happiness in knowing that Jake will always hold a special place in my heart but it's actually possible for me to try and start moving on.

Silent tears soon turned into semi-audible sobbing, and I had to put my hand over my mouth to keep from waking Justin up. However after what seemed like forever I attempted to take a deep breath but it came out as more of a gasp and the usually dead to the world when I'm sleeping Justin heard it and woke up. I turned my head to look at him and he took his arm off of me before he stretched and opened his eyes. I didn't want him to see me crying, so I buried 90% of my body under the covers in an attempt to make him think I was just moving in my sleep. I closed my eyes making sure to pull the sheets up to the bottom of them to catch the remaining tears that I was trying desperately to stop from falling. I felt him turn around to look at the clock and heard him let out the loudest yawn ever and it took everything in me to keep from laughing.

"M&M," he said kicking me softly under the covers. I moved around acting like he had just woken me up, at the same time trying to wipe away the remaining tears on my cheek, "Wake up..."

"Hmmm," I said pulling the covers down and praying for him to not realize that I had been crying.

He was reaching over to the end table to grab the remote and scroll through the channels. "It's 2:30."

"That would explain all the infomercials."

"Come on get up."

"For what?" I wined curling up in a ball under the covers.

"Come on, it's the last day," he said still looking at the TV.

"I thought your mother was going with you."

"She is, but I want you there too. You've been with me through this and I want you there to hear them give us good news."

"I don't know Justin, there's going to be paparazzi and it's just not going to look good."

"I really don't care what they say or write about me, people that know us know that it's not true and everyone else can shove it," he replied throwing the remote back on the table in frustration.

"That picture looked pretty convincing J. People that know us are going to ask questions and we're not going to have an answer."

"You told me you'd be there for me no matter what Em...I need you there."

He finally looked at me and I knew as soon as the words left his mouth that I didn't have a choice. He needed me and I was going to be there no matter what just like I had promised. Right now it didn't matter what any magazine said or what my brother thought of me, it was about being there for my best friend. "Alright," I finally said throwing the covers back and getting out of bed, "I'm going to shower."

I use to be able to turn the water on really really really cold in the shower and it would wake me up, but not today. If I were sitting in a tub full of ice I think I'd still be able to fall asleep on the spot, so when I walked out of the bathroom half asleep and back into my room I wasn't really expecting someone to hug me the second I walked in. I also wasn't expecting to feel the same way I did when I realized he had his arm around me this morning as he did. My throat immediately closed up and I could feel my eyes start to water as he wrapped his arms around my neck, and it took me a minute to return the hug and wrap my arms around his waist. I was trying so hard to swallow my tears, and I literally started thinking about bunny's hopping through a forest. I thought I was in the clear when he backed out of the hug and I instantly walked around him to my closet, "What was that for?" I asked clearing my throat.

"That was to say thank you for being there for me," he said and I could feel him staring at me from the doorway as I scanned over my clothing options.

"You're welcome. That's what friends are for right?"

"And it was also for whatever you were crying about this morning..."

I stopped moving my shirts on the hangers and put my hand against the wall to hold myself up. I cleared my throat for the hundredth time letting a tear fall down my cheek, "I don't know what you're talking about. You must have been dreaming," I said going back to browsing my closet.

"I don't know about that Em. When you wake up to someone gasping for air it's either because they're dying or because they're crying and you look pretty alive right now...plus you are a horrible fake sleeper."

I shook my head not really knowing what to do. It's not like I could give him an explanation at to why I was crying or why I was feeling the way that I was because I didn't know why. So I stayed with my back towards him and leaned my head against the wall next to me and continued to cry for absolutely no reason at all. It wasn't long before I sat down with my back against the wall of my walk in closet and Justin was next to me. "I don't even know why I'm crying," I managed to spit out in between breaths, "This is so stupid..."

"So, what you're saying is...you're crying for no reason."

I threw my hands up and let out a laugh, "Pretty much. I swear I'd tell you if I knew, but I have no idea. I think this makes me certifiably insane."

"Nah," he said wiping away the last tear falling down my face, "You were certifiably insane a long ass time ago."

I slapped his chest almost instantly, "You're such a jerk!"

"I'll be a jerk if it keeps you from crying for no reason you weirdo." He put his arm around my shoulders and I rested my head against him, "You sure you're okay?"

"Yeah."

"Okay then...Let's pick out an outfit for you that will hide your baby bump, sound good?"

"Such a fucking jerk," I said pushing myself up off the ground.

"Yeah, yeah, you've mentioned that..."

***

We made it to the hospital unnoticed. Granted all three of us went in separate cars and I was dressed like there was a blizzard outside so that no one would recognize me, but the point is that we made it inside without any photographs being taken. I was sitting in my normal chair under the window next to Chloe and across from Justin. Lynn just got up from her seat next to Justin for the first time in two hours to hit the cafe and get us some breakfast, and Justin was sitting there with IV's shooting out of his hand a huge smile on his face. "You realize that your face," I said making a circle in the air around his face from 10 feet away, "It's not normal."

"Your face isn't normal..."

I took a Skittle out of the bag that I was hiding in my sweatshirt and threw it at him. He ducked out of the way before it hit him square in the face, and Chloe started laughing as the skittle bounced off the wall behind him and hit the back of his head. I shot up out of the chair and put my hands in the air doing a victory dance before giving Chloe a high five. "I think it's safe to say that was a three pointer, what do you think Chlo?"

"I think you're going to get kicked out again," an angry voice came from behind me. I turned around and saw Robin standing at the doorway with the red skittle that just bounced off of Justin's big head in her hand. I looked back at Chloe made a scary face and watched to her try to not laugh at me. "And what is so funny Miss Chloe?"

"Emily," she said through a fit of giggles.

"Come on Robin...You know you're going to miss us," I said walking towards her with my arms out like I was going to give her a hug.

"Touch me, and I'll kill you."

"You are a feisty one Robin!"

"No. More. Skittles!"

"Okay, okay, no more skittles I promise...but can I have that one back? Had I known it was a red Skittle I never would have never thrown it...Red's my favorite you know."

"You are so gross," she replied turning around to walk out without giving me my little piece of candy heaven back, "15 more minutes Justin then we'll take you back for testing okay?"

"Whatever you say boss lady!" I walked back to my seat and immediately threw another Skittle at Justin and this time it hit him in the face. Chloe and I started laughing right away, and soon Justin couldn't even hold back his laughter. "Your name should be trouble."

"Ehh...I don't know if that's really fitting for someone with as much power as me. I feel like my name should be Master or Princess."

"Bitch would work as well sometimes," he replied with a smile.

"I know that wasn't my son that just said that," Lynn's voice echoed in the hallway.

"28 years old and you're still getting in trouble with your Mama...real smooth."

***

Waiting for test results that could change the course of someone's life in a silent white room with degrees hanging all over the wall can only be what hell feels like. The mahogany desk in front of me was filled with paper work and picture frames. I could hear the laptop fan turn on and off, and suddenly it felt like it was 25 degrees. Justin and his mother were occupying the other two chairs in front of the desk, and no one dared to say a word. I looked to my left and saw Justin as white as a ghost staring at the wall in front of him, his hands holding on to each arm on his chair squeezing so tight that his knuckles were turning white. Every so often in true Justin form he'd lick his lips but other then that there was absolutely no movement on his end or his mothers.

When the doctor finally came in and closed the door behind him, it sounded like a boulder was rolling down a hill. Every sound seemed like it was being projected over a blow horn including the huge breath Justin inhaled right as the doctor sat down behind the desk. He opened up a manila folder with Justin's name on the side and his face was giving off absolutely no indication as to what he was about to tell us. I'm pretty sure my heart stopped beating when he finally looked up at Justin and put a piece of paper in front of Justin on his desk. "These are the pills you're going to need to take. This one is once a day for two weeks," the doctor said pointing to something on the paper with his pen that probably cost $250. "This one is twice a day for two weeks, and these are as needed for pain. Other then that you just need to take it easy, don't put too much strain on your body and if you feel strange in any way, shape or form call me. We'll set you up for a follow up appointment sometime next week and if everything checks out another one for next month. Be aware of your body Justin, and take it slow. I know you're all about hard work and long hours but that's not what your focus should be right now."

We all heard what he said and in my head I knew what it meant, but I wasn't about to believe it until the doctor actually said it. I looked at Justin and saw his hands shaking on his lap and a look of utter fear on his face. He let out the breath he was holding in and swallowed a huge gulp, "So...so what you're saying...you're saying, uh..."

"I'm saying you're in remission...Congratulations! Go out and celebrate. And have a damn drink!" Justin leaned back in his seat and rubbed his forehead clearly unable to respond to the news, and I saw his mother put her hands over her mouth before she started crying. The doctor stood up and Lynn ran around to the other side of the desk and practically jumped on him, while Justin just stayed in his seat with his hand on his forehead. "Take all the time you need in here and then just stop by the nurses station for your appointment card and prescriptions okay?" he asked putting his hand out to Justin for him to shake.

He stood up on wobbly legs and shook the doctors hand, his eyes still glazed over in shock. "Thank you so much Dr. Arrington. I can't even...I just...Thank you."

"You're very welcome," he replied before closing the manila folder and walking out the door.

Lynn basically tackled her son in a huge hug and I stayed sitting on the chair feeling like it was all a dream. This was all new to me. Usually things like this end in disappointment and pain, and I don't think I really knew how to feel relieved that something good actually happened. After lots of hugs and tears Lynn left us in the room to go pick up everything Justin needed from the nurses station and I was finally able to stand up, but I still wasn't able to really say anything. He just looked at me while biting his bottom lip and I got on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck before I started crying again. I put my right hand on the back of his neck and started twirling his curls around my finger when I felt him relax in my arms and finally take in the words the doctor had just told him. He squeezed me so tight I thought I was going to suffocate but that didn't matter to me because Justin was cancer free and as long as that fact remained he could do whatever the fuck he wanted.

"Don't you ever scare me like that again, do you hear me?" I said hitting his arm after he let go of me.

"I thought he was going to tell me I was dying,"

"Well you're not," I replied giving him another hug. He let out a huge sigh when I backed away and grabbed onto my hands before screaming at the top of his lungs causing both of us to laugh and probably scaring the entire hospital. "Wanna go get a drink?"

"It's not even 7am you lush."

"You know you want a beer Timberlake."

"You're right I do...But I think I want a bed first."

"Let's go home then," I said before walking to the door of the office that I never wanted to step foot in again. We went in and said goodbye to Chloe, promising to visit her at least once a week, and shockingly had an emotional goodbye with Robin who I could tell was trying to hold back some tears when she hugged Justin. He thanked every single person that had been a part of the process and even signed autographs and took pictures with them.

Leaving the hospital, I walked out before Justin in hopes we'd avoid any unwanted sightings and I thought I was in the clear until I got to the car and heard camera's clicking. I couldn't see anyone, but I knew they were somewhere and the fact that I could only hear them was totally creeping me out. I knew there would be pictures plastered all over the internet tomorrow with another false story underneath them but at that moment in time I really could give a shit, because I just received the best news of my life.

***

"We'll have another round please," Justin asked the waitress 15 hours later at a small bar just at the bottom of the huge hill he lived on.

I shook my head while taking the last sip of my third extremely strong drink, "Not me, just one for him," I said realizing that my head was already spinning and if I had one more drink I may actually have another Butch moment.

"Just bring another round," he said disregarding my clear intoxication.

"If I have one more drink Justin, I might go home with Butch."

"I won't let you go home with Butch. Plus we're celebrating, just one more drink."

"Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine. Justin I'm just so happy that you're okay, because I really, really, really thought you were going to leave me."

"I told you I wasn't going anywhere," he said as our drinks were put down in front of us.

"People always say that, but then they leave anyway. But not you Justin...Not you. First my parents, and then...then Jake. They're gone and it sucks, but at least now I know that you won't leave me."

"They didn't choose to leave you Em."

"But they're gone," I said making an exaggerated sad face.

"You were right...totally shouldn't have gotten you that drink."

"Well you can't take it back now," I practically yelled grabbing the drink off the table and holding to close to me before I started hysterically laughing for no reason, "I'm so fucking drunk," and with that I downed the entire drink before slamming the empty glass down on the table.

He looked at me cocking his eyebrow before chugging his beer and slamming the bottle down next to my empty glass, "Let's go home lush before you do end up leaving with Butch."

"See," I said attempting to stand up and almost falling over, "You're afraid I'm going to go home with someone besides you. Are you the jealous kind Timberlake?"

"Totally," he replied jokingly while holding out my coat.

"Why are you not drunk right now?" I asked as we walked towards the door holding onto his arm for stability.

"Because I'm a professional drinker."

"You're a professional everything..."

"I know," he replied stopping at the door and placing me up against the wall. "Don't move." I watched him unzip his sweatshirt and take it off before adjusting his William Rast button down that was on underneath it. In my drunken state my mind automatically went back to waking up next to him this morning and I started to wonder what it would be like to watch him take the rest of his clothing off. But before my mind could wander too much I felt him put the sweatshirt over my head, "Stay close, don't say anything, and don't look up," he said before wrapping his arm around my shoulders and walking out the door to flashbulbs coming from every direction.

After what seemed like forever we made it to the car, out of the parking lot and the short distance from the bar to his house. I rambled the entire time about what I'm not sure, but every time I looked at Justin he was either smiling or laughing and even though I was drunk beyond belief it made me so happy to finally see him happy again. I stood behind him as he unlocked the front door, and walked right around him to the kitchen when it was finally open. I scanned the fridge for anything that had over 400 calories in it and literally jumped for joy when I saw some cake hanging out in the back. "Eat my cake Logan and I will kick the shit out of you."

I put the cake on the counter almost taunting him as he stood in the doorway of the kitchen. Slowly I opened the lid on the Boston Crème Cake, pulling the utensil drawer out and reaching in for a fork. Just as the fork was about to make contact with the cake, he darted at me and I took off running around the house holding a fork up in the air like a maniac. Not soon after the running started I realized that I was really out of breath and if I didn't stop soon he'd catch me so I B-Lined it up the stairs in hopes that I'd make it to my room before he caught me, which I did except the alcohol was clearly taking over my brain and instead of locking the door behind me I just shut it so within seconds Justin was on top of me tickling the shit out of me. "YOU WIN YOU WIN!" I screamed throwing the fork down on the white carpet below the bed.

"Damn right I win," he said getting off of me lying down on the pillow beside me. I turned on my side facing him, and he put his arm around my waist the same way he had it this morning. Without thinking twice I put my hand on his cheek rubbing his stubble with my thumb. I looked up to his eyes and they were suddenly darker then I've ever seen them. I watched his tongue swipe across his bottom lip before looking back up at him. His hand went from holding onto the sheets below me to the small of my back. He shook his head to tell me no, but didn't stop me when I put my lips on his.