I rolled over after looking at the clock on my nightstand. 9am, I still have five hours until my flight back to good ol' Shelby Forest with my boyfriends' mother by my side, but not my boyfriend. That's right, you heard right I said boyfriend. Last week Justin and I went from the dating stage to the official title stage of our relationship. I'm going to be honest at first I didn't think there was any possible way Justin and I would make it past a week of dating, but the guy isn't really the player type that I thought he was. Being with him wasn't like being with anyone else in my past. It didn't really take work; in fact it was easy. This could be due to the fact that we were good friends first, or the fact that we've lived together for close to a year. Whatever it is doesn't really matter at this point though. All I know is that it works, and it's nice and it's beyond unexpected.

I threw the sheets back while moving to sit on the side of the bed. Even though I had five hours, there was a lot that needed to get done before I got on the plane, including packing up my life that has accumulated over the past two months. I stretched letting a loud yawn escape my mouth and just as I was about to get up felt something tugging at my tank top pulling me back down on the bed. "You could just stay," he said as my head hit his chest. I closed my eyes as he ran his hand through my hair. I didn't want to leave, in fact I've been dreading it for the past week and a half, but I knew it had to happen. As much as I loved LA my home was Tennessee. My family was there, my friends were there, and the majority of my work was there.

"Don't make this harder then it has to be Justin..."

"You don't really have to go home."

I turned my head to look at him. His eyes were still closed, his right cheek against the pillow. He worked an overnight last night, I felt him get into bed at 6am. Every doctor he's seen has told him to take it easy and not do the film, but he's insisting that this is a movie that's worth risking his health for. What he doesn't realize is that every time I see that he's been on set for more then 12 hours I panic, and when he comes home at night and has coughing fits or is so tired that he falls asleep at the dinner table I think that he might not wake up in the morning. He's working too much, not sleeping enough, and clearly disregarding everything that everyone tells him. As much as I want to stay here with him I know that with me gone he'll at least be getting more sleep because he won't feel like he has to entertain me with the little time he does have off. "You're right, I don't have to go home. I could just stay here and not get any work done, have the label go under and just lay out in the sun all day everyday for the rest of my life."

"Works for me," he replied in a whisper, his breathing slowing down as he drifted back off to sleep.

I picked myself up leaning on my elbows to keep me steady and watched him for a minute before leaning over to place a soft kiss on his lips. His hand came up to the small of my back as he attempted to kiss me back but exhaustion got the best of him.

***

2:00 rolled around a whole lot faster today then it did any other day. I was sitting on the floor of the closet listening to Justin snore louder then anything I've ever heard before and putting my clothes in a suitcase when my cell phone started buzzing on the floor next to me. Before looking down at the caller ID I made a silent wish that I'd see Trace's face on the screen since we still haven't spoken, but just like every other time I've made that wish in the past month and a half, I was let down.

"Hey Jules," I said feeling a bit defeated.

"So, your meeting with the landscaper for the course is all set for 9am tomorrow," she started without even saying hello back. "The guy seems...well, interesting. I don't think you're going to like him that much, and in my opinion I think you should probably go with the first one."

"Justin hated the first guy so that's a no go. Do me a favor and look up some other local landscapers that have big projects on there resume and set up some meetings for tomorrow and Thursday just in case."

"Okay. Also, we had some trouble yesterday getting Matt in the studio, I guess they double booked and there was a huge altercation. I know this really has nothing to do with you but I'm thinking you might be getting a call either today or tomorrow about it from the studio. They've called me a million times and insist on talking to you..."

"Perfect," I replied laying down on the floor rethinking going home for the hundredth time today. "Anything else?"

"Well...I didn't want to mention it, but the car service that was going to pick you up from the airport double booked so it looks like me and my Mini-Cooper will be meeting you there."

"Of course...no offense to you or your Mini-Cooper, it just doesn't seem like anything is going right."

"None taken. I'd imagine it'd be difficult to come from LA back home to crummy old Tennessee. Never mind everything else on top of it."

"You have no idea..."

"I'll track your flight and see you around 10ish."

"Thanks...Oh and Jules?" I yelled remembering I had to ask her a question.

"Yeah?"

"I hate to do this to you, I really do, but Justin left a suit at the dry cleaners three months ago, and if it's not picked up by today they're going to sell it or some shit. Could you please do me a huge favor and pick it up for me?" I asked making a pretty please face even though she couldn't see me.

"I'm on it."

"Thanks Jules, I owe you one. See you at ten." I hit the red end button and threw my phone into my suitcase that was piled to the brim with clothes. I was telling myself all day that I wanted to go home. I wanted to see my friends and family, and I wanted to sort things out with Trace. But the truth of the matter is that I want nothing more then to never return to Tennessee again. In LA it was like I had no worries. I didn't have to deal with Trace and psycho bitch Bri, Ma and Pa weren't on my ass about coming over for dinner every other day, and there was nothing here to remind me of Jake. I think that that is what I was the most nervous about. I could handle all the crap at the office, and I know eventually Trace and I will make amends, but I haven't been back home since Justin and I started dating so I don't know how I'm going to feel passing by the places that Jake and I use to frequent. Or what it was going to be like for me when I go into the home that we built together. Dating Justin in LA was safe. Dating Justin in Shelby Forest is going to be a whole new ballgame. "God help me," I sighed knowing that I had to sit up and zip my bag so that I could meet the car service out front in 10 minutes, but not wanting any part of it.

"I think you're going to need more then God's help." I sat up quickly with my hand over my heart to see Justin standing in the doorway of the closet.

"What are you doing up?"

"Are they really going to sell my suit?" he asked ignoring my question.

"Yes," I replied throwing the last of my clothes in my bag. I looked up at him when he didn't respond to see his eyebrow raised as he leaned on the door frame, "What?"

"They are not going to sell my suit..."

"Well...no. But they did call and they're really mad that it's still there."

"And you're sending Julie to pick it up because?" he asked sitting down next to me as I zipped my bag closed. He knew the reason why so I wasn't about to humor him with an answer. I stood up in front of him pulling my bag up with me. Just as I was about to walk away he grabbed me by my waist and pulled me down on top of him. He put his chin on my shoulder and wrapped his arms around my waist. "You know that you can still talk to me about this right?"

I nodded my head locking my fingers with his feeling a wave of sadness and confusion come over me. "You still haven't told me what you're doing up."

"You still haven't told me why you're sending your personal assistant to pick up my suit."

"Because your personal assistant is in LA with you and your suit is in Tennessee."

"Or because it's at the dry cleaners that you use to go to every week to pick up Jake's suits?"

"Or that..." he didn't say anything, just turned his head to the left and placed a kiss on my neck and rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb. For anyone else this would be weird. Talking about your dead fiancé with your new boyfriend shouldn't be easy. It should be awkward and uncomfortable, but with us it's easy. He gets it...he gets me and he doesn't feel like any less of a man because this still bothers me. "I just...I don't know how I'll feel. And you'll be here..."

"It's going to be kind of hard to avoid everything to do with Jake you know that right?"

"I'm scared to go back without you," I said putting my strong front to the side to tell him how I really felt.

"I know...But I'm just a phone call away. And you'll be busy with work and the benefit," he spun me around so that I was facing him with my legs wrapped around his waist. He pushed my hair out of my eyes before putting his forehead against mine; "If you need me there I will get on the first plane to Memphis. I promise."

"I know." I wrapped my arms around his neck and rested my head on his shoulder. We were only going to be apart for three weeks, but I was going to miss him. I was going to miss this, feeling his arms wrapped around me. Knowing that I was safe. Knowing that I had my best friend at my side. "Why are you up?" I asked after a few minutes of bliss, knowing that the car was going to be outside any second.

"To drive you and Mama to the airport," he kissed my cheek and pushed me up, before standing in front of me to kiss my lips. 

"I told you I called a car service, he's going to be here any minute..."

"And I uncalled the car service because I want to take you."

"You should be sleeping Mr. Timberlake."

"You shouldn't worry so much Ms. Logan. Come on, I'll help you bring all your stuff down to the car."

"What, no long tearful goodbye? Get it out now because it can't happen at the airport with your Mama and cameras around..."

He framed my face with his hands, dipping his head down to put his lips on mine. I closed my eyes holding the back of his head with my hand and fell into his lips taking in every last second of his mouth on mine, praying it would last me three weeks time. The minute his lips came off of mine and went to the tip of my nose I missed them, and knew that in a matter of two hours I wouldn't know what to do with myself without them. "Call me when you land, and make up with your brother would ya?"

"Only if you promise to take it easy and not get yourself sick."

"Deal."

***

The plane ride from LA to Memphis was depressing. I was leaving the perfect little Emily and Justin bubble that we've managed to make for ourselves and diving back into reality. It probably wasn't such a good thing that I've practically cut myself off from everyone besides Justin and the people I work with while I was in LA, but it was a nice departure from the constant stressing and weight on my shoulders.

Lynn fell asleep the moment the plane took off, and I was left to keep myself occupied for the next four hours which most of the time only leads to disaster. I pulled my laptop out of it's bag to check my E-Mail's and noticed that Ma had sent me some final stuff to approve for the benefit concert that's being held in Jake's name next week. It was something that I've been working on excessively, wanting it to go off perfectly not only because it's in Jake's memory but because it's featuring all of the artists on the label. It was the perfect way to raise money for the scholarship and to promote our artists. I clicked open the E-mail and kicked my feet up on the ottoman in front of me, one of the many perks of flying privately.

Emsie,

Everything is pretty much in place for the benefit next week; the only thing we have left is the slideshow. I attached a bunch of pictures that I think should be included and was hoping you'd have enough time to add some of your own and put it to appropriate music. I know this will probably be really hard for you, so if you don't feel up to it just let me know. Love you, and miss you a lot. Can't wait to see you tomorrow.

Love,

Ma

I looked at the body of the E-Mail for a while trying to will myself to open the attachment. Planning this event has been a breeze for me, but I've known all along that once it came down to this I was probably going to turn into a blubbering mess. After a good 20 minutes of self-convincing I finally opened up all of the pictures. Surprisingly I was able to go through them and edit them without too much of a problem, and I was even able to add my own in there without shedding a tear or feeling more then one or two pangs in my heart. I searched for what seemed like hours for a song that was appropriate for the slideshow. Nothing seemed to fit right and I was getting frustrated on the verge of giving up when I looked down and saw the flyer for the benefit sitting next to me on the couch. Under a picture of Jake was the words "In Loving Memory," and I knew right then what song I was going to use.

I added the song to the slideshow, hitting play without hesitation. As I watched the pictures pop up on my computer screen with the music playing in the background, I completely lost it. Tears started steaming down my face as I saw all that I had left of Jake appear and disappear right before my eyes. Memories started flooding my brain as I saw photos of us back in college when we first met. Jake standing in front of the first house he ever built. The two of us, standing on the steps of our home with the keys dangling in my hand. Jake, down on one knee proposing to me, a picture that I had no clue even existed until I saw it in the attachments Ma had sent me. Four minutes of trembling hands and tears later, the slideshow faded to black and I leaned my head back on the couch closing my eyes trying to compose myself wondering if it was normal to still feel so much sadness and grief. Moments later I felt Lynn's hand grab onto mine, and I couldn't help but let a small smile form on my lips.

"You did a very good job on that sweetheart," she said squeezing my hand.

"Thanks," I replied through a sniffle opening my eyes to see that she had closed the laptop, "It still hurts..."

"It will always hurt Emily."

"I just...I feel like I'm never going to be the same, like I'm damaged goods or something because I just miss him so much."

"You are not damaged goods. Jake will always be a part of you, and everyone should understand that. I know Justin does..." I shook my head knowing what she was implying and unable to verbally lie to her face. "I'm no dummy Emily Logan, I've lived with you two for the past month and a half...It's okay I won't tell anyone. He understands, and don't you ever think you're not good enough for anyone...especially him," she said laughing and causing me to do the same.

I felt the plane hit the runway as I turned to hug her, "Don't tell him I told you okay?"

"My lips are sealed..."

***

After hugging Lynn goodbye before she got in the car Paul was driving and assuring her that my ride was on its way I called Justin. Sitting down on the bench at the pick up/drop off area I listened to his phone ring 6 times before his voicemail picked up. I saw Julie's Mini-Cooper pull in when his machine beeped.

Hey it's Em. Just wanted to let you know that we landed, I paused not really knowing if I should say what I wanted to but soon realizing that if it was really going to work between the two of us I'm going to have to tell him everything, and he's just going to have to understand. I did the slideshow for the benefit on the plane and cried. I'm always going to miss him Justin, but that doesn't change my feelings for you...I just really thought you should know that. Call me when you can, bye."

Right as I hung up the phone Julie got out of the car and ran over jumping into my arms, "I can't even explain how much I've missed you! I know you're my boss and everything but seriously, don't ever leave me without girl time for this long again!"

"I missed you too Jules," I said picking up one of my bags to put in the trunk.

"So where are you off to, your house or Justin's?"

The minute she asked the question a light bulb went on in my head and I felt almost a sense of calm come over me. I smiled, looking at her dead in the eyes, "Justin's house is my home..."