We agreed nothing big. Just the two of us and whoever else absolutely had to be there to make it all official. I guess if I'm being honest it wasn't really an agreement, as much as it was him letting me get my way. He wanted a huge ordeal. Every person we've ever crossed paths with, he wanted to be there. He wanted trumpets and doves, and thousands of dollars worth of candles and flowers. I wanted none of it. And he let me have it my way. He always did.

I slipped on my shoes and stepped on the freshly cutgrass. This was something I'll always remember about this day. He loved the smell of grass, and I'd always be the first one to make fun of him for it. It was only right that the grass was cut today. I walked the short distance down to him, and then stood in silence taking in my surroundings. It was a little overcast, but the sun was peaking through the clouds making shadows on the ground underneath the trees. Every now and then you could hear a leaf crunch as the birds and squirrels made there way across them, and the soft breeze was blowing my veil just enough to make it look like it was all planned.

I held onto him. He felt different today, cold almost, but I chalked it up to it being the cool October air. I said my vows loud and proud. Making sure to pronounce everything correctly and not skip over anything. The smile on my face was so big it almost hurt. My dream of marrying this perfect man was finally coming true. We've been together for seven years. We've made it through college together, we've made it through deaths together, and we've made it through life together. There is no other person out there for me. Jacob was made for me. When we'd hold hands our fingers would fit perfectly in between each other's, and my arms wrapped around his body perfectly. I'd fall asleep listening to his heartbeat, and it was almost as if his heart was saying my name over and over again. Today was the day I'd been waiting for my entire life, and as I stood across from him waiting for him to repeat after the minister my heart was breaking every second that passed when nothing came out of his mouth.

"Say something," I finally managed to say though it came out as a stuttering jumbled mess.

He just looked at me. His mouth staying straight and not moving. My legs began to shake and suddenly the 2-inch heels on my shoes were becoming too much for me to handle. I began to scream for him to say something...anything, but he just stood there silent. My legs were about to give out and my heart was shattering into a million little pieces when he let go of my hands and I fell back. I expected to hit my head off the ground; I almost wanted to hit my head off the ground so hard that I'd die, but I landed softly against something that almost felt like another body. Suddenly I felt my own body being placed gently on the ground, and my back was up against cold stone.

"I knew I'd find you here," said a voice that was not Jake's.

I opened my eyes to find my worst nightmare coming true. I'd convinced myself this morning that it was just a dream. When I woke up and looked outside to see the most perfect day imaginable I knew that it was too amazing to be true. I was so worried last night that my mind wondered to the worst possible scenario, but it was just a dream I kept telling myself as I got ready. Today's the start of the rest of your life, I'd said aloud as I slipped on my wedding dress and reached to the back of myself to zip it up. Today's the day you've been dreaming of...today is your day." I smiled to myself in the mirror after putting the finishing touches on my makeup, knowing damn well that it was just a really bad nightmare.

I wish it were just a really bad nightmare.

***

My life was far from perfect. My parents were murdered when I was three years old, and I was sent from Florida to Tennessee to live with my mother's best friend and her family since all of my grandparents had past away before I was born and both of my parents were the only children. I'm not saying it was easy to lose my parents, but I feel almost grateful for the fact that it happened at an age so young that I don't even really remember it happening. Every now and then I'll remember things that we use to do and I'll get sad but that's not very often. I always wonder what it would have been like to grow up with them, to have someone to call Mom and Dad, but since that never really happened for me I guess it's something that's really hard to miss.

I managed to inherit an annoying brother out of the deal, and as much as I hate him half the time if it weren't for him I don't know how I'd have gotten through life thus far. We're the same age, so growing up we'd often get asked if we were twins and after trying to explain our situation a few times we just started to say we were. We fought constantly and we hated each other's friends, but in a way we were best friends. We acted like any other brother and sister would, but I think we had some sort of special bond because of our unique situation. When it was time to decide what to do for college, I made the decision to go the University of Memphis while Trace decided to be a bum and follow his best friend around the world while he toured with his stupid boy band, and later as a solo artist. It was weird to be without Trace for months at a time, but somehow we managed to grow closer.

As much as we fought, and as much as we tried to annoy one another, I always looked up to Trace and wanted his approval. It's a strange thing to want from someone that's the same age as you, not to mention a few inches shorter then me, but he was the only one that made me feel like I belonged in Tennessee even without the strong southern accent when I first moved there and I wanted to make him proud of me. I introduced my brother to Jake during Christmas break of my freshman year of college, and I knew right then and there that Jake and I would some day be married. Trace never, and I mean NEVER liked any of my previous boyfriends and those two hit it off like they'd been best friends since birth. I always thought that Jake stuck around because he wasn't tormented by my brother and his stupid friends like my other boyfriends had been, but when he proposed to me 5 years later I realized he actually stuck around because he loved me.

We decided to wait to get married until we both had stable jobs and we were able to afford a home together. That all happened a lot faster then we thought it would. Two years later we moved into a brand new house that we had built in Shelby Forest, and we were both working our 9-5's.

My brother's best friend Justin was Hollywood royalty, but to me he was an annoying, cocky, asshole whose only mission in life was to piss me off. Justin was at our house 24 hours a day, 7 days a week when we were growing up and I don't think there was one day that he didn't make me cry as a kid. We clashed, we always have, and we always will. But when he offered me my dream job as the President of his record label I couldn't turn it down. I'm not sure why he did it since I don't live in LA and would be micromanaging from across the country, not to mention the fact that we hate each other, but I'm assuming he owed Trace a big favor or something and this is how he was going to repay him. I'd imagine Trace had to cover for him time and time again over the years, and at one point threatened Justin and this was the only way he'd keep his mouth shut. I was damn good at my job though, so it was nice to prove to Justin and my family that I wasn't just the bratty sister anymore, and the better job I did the less I had to talk to Justin so it made me strive to do that much more.

Two weeks before the wedding Trace and Justin came back home to Tennessee from their swanky new multi-million dollar mansion that Justin had just built in LA. I'm not entirely sure why Justin followed Trace home because he wasn't invited to the wedding, in fact no one even knew about the wedding besides Trace who was our only witness, but he did nonetheless. It was the first time my brother got to see my new house and I was excited to show him everything that I'd accomplished while he was off traveling the world and tending to Justin's every need. After showing them the house, Jake had to run off to a consultation for a house he was remodeling.

"I won't be late," he said to me placing his soft lips on my forehead.

"Call when you're on your way back," I replied returning his kiss, this time on his lips.

"I will. Bye guys," he said with a wave to the two men now sitting on the couch in the living room playing video games, "Love you Emmy."

"I love you too."

***

"I knew I'd find you here."

I looked down at the ground to the fresh dirt below me and the flowers on either side of me. I wanted to cry but there were no tears left in me since I haven't stopped crying for the past two weeks. "What all of a sudden makes you an expert on my whereabouts?"

"I'm not an idiot Emmy-"

"Don't call me that," I said sternly shuttering at the nickname Jake had given to me so many years ago.

"I'm not an idiot Emily. Today's your wedding day."

My head shot up and I looked at him with disgust in my eyes, "How do you know that?"

"Trace is my best friend. We live together, do you really think it would get by me?"

"Go home Justin. Just...Just go home and leave me alone."

"Everyone's looking for you," he replied ignoring what I had said.

"Let them look, I don't really give a shit." I picked up a pinch of dirt and rolled it between my pointer finger and my thumb.

"Em you have to talk to someone about this."

"Why would I ever choose to talk to you Justin? Since when have you ever even cared about me? Why are you doing this to me? Why won't you just let me do what I need to do? Why? Just fucking tell me why!" I screamed looking up at him, and he was looking straight ahead at the tree that was in front of us. I noticed that his eyes were beginning to water and I could feel mine start to as well.

"I wish I knew why," he answered a few seconds later in almost a whisper, "I wish I could tell you why."

"This isn't even real. This is just a dream...a really bad dream," I said trying to convince myself that that was the truth.

"It's not a dream Em..." he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I found myself falling into him and wrapping my arms around his waist, "it's not a dream."

I let the tears fall as I sat on the ground in my wedding dress that was slowly but surely beginning to fill with dirt as the wind blew. The ring on my left ring finger was sparkling under the sun and I brought my hand up to my mouth and kissed it. Justin held me tighter and placed a kiss on the top of my head. It wasn't comforting, and it didn't stop the tears. It was foreign and felt all wrong. What was happening? Why was this happening? What had I done?

"Let's get you home Em," he said taking his arm off of my shoulders. He stood up and held his hand out for me to take. I stayed on the ground and shook my head at him. I wasn't going anywhere. It was my wedding day and I was going to spend it with my husband. "Fine...but I'm staying with you."

He sat back down next to me and folded his hands in his lap resting his head against the stone behind us. I don't know why he was being so nice to me. I don't know why he even cared, but having him there with me today somehow made it easier to bear. We stayed there for hours not saying anything to one another, and once the sun went down and the cool breeze turned into a cold night we both looked at each other and stood up. He went directly to his car and I stood looking at Jake's grave. Jacob Michael West 1982-2007 Loving Son, Brother & Friend. Forever in our Hearts.

"I love you Jake. I'll never stop loving you," I said with tears filling my eyes once more before I turned around and walked towards Justin's car. He was standing there holding the passenger door open for me and I sat down without even looking at him. He closed the door behind me and sat down behind the wheel of his Audi.

"I'll take you home," he said softly after putting the key in the ignition.

"I don't have a home."

"I'll take you to your parents house then."

"I don't have parents, they died when I was three in case you had forgotten," I replied looking forward as the car started moving forward away from my love of my life.

"Emily-"

"I had guardians. Then I turned 18 and I was on my own."

"You don't mean that..."

"I don't know what I mean anymore."

We drove for 20 minutes. We drove down the roads that I went down everyday. We passed the general store, and we even went by the house that I use to call home. The car came to a stop in front of Justin's house. He pulled into the driveway and turned the car off before coming around to my side and opening my door. He held his hand out for me for the second time today and I again refused to take it. I got out of his car and followed him into the house and over to the one guest bedroom on the ground floor. He pulled the covers back on the bed and I got in leaving my now dirty wedding dress on.

I wish this were a nightmare.