I was woken up promptly at 7:00am on December 26th to Justin jumping on my bed like a 3 year old. I proceeded to throw pillows at him to make him stop until I had nothing left to throw and I was lying completely flat on the bed. I pulled the covers over my head in hopes he would get the point that I don't want anything to do with him, but when he started singing the good morning song as loud and as out of tone as he possibly could I realized he wasn't going to give up. "I'm naked," I lied from underneath the covers in hopes that he'd react the same way he did the last time I told him I was naked.

It was at that time that he plopped himself down on the bed and proceeded to attempt to get the covers off of me. I tried kicking him in his balls but it was kind of hard to do in the dark and with him sitting on top of me. I was pretty confident that I had the situation under control by holding onto the covers for dear life until he started playing dirty, doing the one thing he knew would get me to surrender. I thought I was in the clear when he stopped pulling on the covers and I felt him get off of me, but then as if in lightning speed his hands attacked my sides and he started tickling me. He somehow managed to get under my armpits and I lost all control of the situation. I flung the covers off of me and attempted to fight back but failed miserably because I was laughing so hard I couldn't breathe. I was finally able to put my hands up to surrender, and luckily the bastard accepted and stopped attacking me. About five minutes later I was able to catch my breath and my sides stopped hurting so I proceeded to slap him as hard as I could on his bare chest.

"What the fuck was that for?" he asked scrunching up his nose and rubbing the big red hand mark on his chest.

"For being a huge asshole. You know I hate when people tickle me."

"You're so fucking violent."

"I'll take that as a compliment," I laughed.

"It wasn't meant as one...that really hurt!"

"That really hurt Mommy," I said mocking him.

"God you are a huge bitch!"

"That's one I've never heard before...Are you going to get off of me or do I have to slap you again?"

"Touch me again and see what happens..."

I raised my hand and slanted my eyes at him, "Don't think I won't Timberlake. I'm not afraid of you."

"Alright, alright," he replied getting off of me and sitting as far away as possible on the bed. "You're not even naked."

"Sorry to disappoint." I looked over and he was still rubbing his chest like a little baby, so I glared at him until he made eye contact with me and stopped. "What could possibly be so important that you had to wake me up at 7am?"

"Here," he said throwing a blackberry at my head. Luckily I played baseball as a child because I was able to throw my hands up fast enough to catch it before it caused brain damage. I looked at it in my hands and ran my fingers over the buttons before throwing it back at him, nicely, and not square in the head. He let it fall in his lap and looked up at me with a face that I think he meant to be angry but in reality just made him look challenged. "This thing is your baby."

"Correction...that thing use to be my baby."

"Well that's good news because..." he reached over to the nightstand and turned back around to look at me with a huge goofy smile on his face. I looked at him square in the eye, bored out of my mind. "I come baring gifts."

"Christmas is over Justin."

"You my fine furry friend are right, however I didn't give you my present yet." He pulled his hand out from the drawer and handed me a square package wrapped like a hot mess in yesterday's newspaper. I unwrapped the "gift" and immediately threw it back at him. "What the fuck? Do you throw everyone's gifts back at them?"

"That's not a gift...that's you telling me to go back to work."

"It is not!"

"It is too! Did you get everyone on your Christmas list an IPhone this year?"

"Well I mean...no. But I did get one for Trace!"

"He's your personal assistant, and I'm the President of your company. Let me see, what two things are the same here. Oh pick me pick me Mr. Trebeck pick me!" I said jumping up and down and raising my hand. "The correct answer is...What is WE BOTH FUCKING WORK FOR YOU!"

"Oh come on Em!" He said getting up off the bed, "I'm trying to make this easier but you're not letting me. You need to face the facts, you have to go back to work."

"Who said I wasn't facing the facts?"

"You did when you threw not only the blackberry, but the IPhone back at me."

"You said after the New Year Justin...last time I checked the New Year is January 1st. It's December 26th, and I'm pretty sure I learned in Kindergarten that January comes AFTER December."

"You think you're just so smart."

"No, maybe I just think you're so stupid."

"LOOK!" he yelled throwing his hands up to make me shut up, "I'm not telling you to get back to work, I'm just giving you a phone so that maybe you could call the 800 million people that you've been ignoring the past three months and let them know that you're still a fully functioning human being. Because last time I checked they're no longer believing a word I tell them because they haven't actually heard you're voice or seen your face for 90 days. Don't take the IPhone I don't really give a shit, but take some phone and start to get your life back on track Emily."

"Easy for you to say..."

"You know what, you're right. It is easy for me to say because my fiancée didn't die, and I'm not going through the pain that you are, but it's not going to get any easier for you if you just sit here and mope around forever. So just please...take a fucking phone," he said now really angry, holding out the blackberry and IPhone for me to choose.

I looked up at him and realized what started off as us jokingly sending shots back and forth at each other turned into a full blown fight where both of us in some way has managed to get their feelings hurt. Granted I'd say 90% of it was my fault since I was the one who agreed yesterday to take baby steps in dealing with the situation and now not even 12 hours later I was getting on his case for making me actually do it. I reached out and took the case with the IPhone out of his hand, feeling really bad about how I reacted but not really wanting to say sorry. He immediately threw the Blackberry in the trash and turned around to walk away. Logically I knew I had to say something or else we were going to go back to square one and hate each other again and that was the last thing I wanted right now so I swallowed my pride and whispered, "Thank you," so softly I wasn't even sure if he could hear me.

He turned around right before he hit the door with softened eyes, "Call people Emily. It's the only way it's going to get better," and with that he opened the door and walked out.

***

These words have been coming out of my mouth all to often lately, and it pains me every time I say it, but Justin was right...again. After I made my first phone call it was like a light bulb went off in my head and suddenly weight was lifted off of my shoulders. I was convinced that the minute I started talking to my friends and family again all they'd want to talk about was how I was feeling or if there were any new developments in the investigation of Jake's death. Surprisingly though, once they got over the fact that I've managed to come out of my cave, our conversations didn't focus on any of that, and within two hours I had made plans to go out to dinner with a couple of my friends.

New Year's Eve rolled around and I was in the kitchen baking a pie when Trace came in and looked at me like I had 50 heads as I mixed the sugar and the apples with one hand, and wrote an E-Mail to my assistant with the other. "What?" I asked chewing a piece of apple not looking up from my E-Mail.

"What are you doing?"

"Giving birth...what does it look like I'm doing?"

"It looks like you're making a pie, and...are my eyes deceiving me or are you really working right now?"

"Good observation almighty short one. Thank you for letting me know who has the brains in the family," I said rolling my eyes at him.

"Who are you and what have you done with my sister?" he asked pinching my arm.

"Oww! What the fuck Trace!" I said slapping his hand with the mixing spoon, "Go be a lawn gnome somewhere and leave me alone."

"JUSTIN!" Trace screamed in the direction of the living room, "What did you do?"

Within seconds Justin was standing at the breakfast bar chomping on a toothpick that was sticking out of his mouth and looking down at his phone not even acknowledging either one of us, "What'd I do?" he asked.

"What did you do to her?" Trace pointed in my direction and Justin looked up at me before shrugging his shoulders at Trace and looking back down at his phone. "That's it? You're just going to shrug your shoulders and act like nothing is wrong?"

"I'm sorry I didn't realize something was wrong shorty...What's the problem?"

"She's...she's cooking and...working and...she has makeup on..."

"I'm sorry I think I'm missing something here," Justin replied, "Em are you coming out tonight?"

"I'll be ready at 9," I said pouring the apple's into the pie pan."

"What the fuck is going on here?" Trace said throwing his hands up in the air, and Justin and I just laughed at him before Justin went back into the living room and I put the pie in the oven and retreated to my bedroom.

Soon after my first night out I realized that it was a million times easier to deal with the situation I was in by just doing things to keep my mind off of it. I went out with my friends, avoiding places Jake and I use to frequent, and started back up doing some work. I wouldn't say I'm back into it full force, but it's taking up enough of my day that I'm not longer sitting in my bedroom and sulking. It felt good to be in control of my life again, not to mention be in control of my employees who I've heard have been having all too much fun since Justin has been my stand in.

Since Justin is paparazzi free when he comes home to Tennessee, we all made plans to go out to some dive bar in Memphis tonight to ring in the New Year. This was going to be a bit of a challenge for me, seeing as though I'd be standing alone at midnight with no one to kiss, and the memory of last New Year's will be ringing over and over in my head. However, Justin's voice kept ringing in my ears time and time again, Baby steps Em...Baby steps. This was a step that I had to take, and an obstacle I had to overcome in order to help me grieve and heal. It wasn't going to be easy, but neither was going back to work. It was just something that had to be done.

I was putting on the finishing touches of my makeup and tying the belt around my now very loose dress a little bit tighter when Justin walked into the bathroom, "You sure you're up for this Em?"

"You're the one that keeps telling me baby steps Justin, don't talk me out of it now," I replied looking at him through the mirror.

"This is more like a toddler step though..."

"Oh can I be in my terrible 2 stage?"

"Emily..."

"Why are you being so serious Justin? I figured you'd be happy I was coming."

"I just. I don't know."

"Last week we fought because I wasn't doing anything with my life, and now that I am you want to fight with me about that too?"

"I don't want to fight with you, it's just a big step and I don't know if you're ready for it yet."

"Well, I won't know unless I try right?" I twisted the cap to my mascara back on the base and threw it in my make up bag before turning around and facing him, "If it's too much I'll leave, I promise."

"Just let me know if you want to leave okay?"

"Pinky promise," I replied holding my pinky up for him to take with his, "Now wipe that pathetic look off your face and let's go celebrate."

***

The moment we pulled up to the bar I knew I wasn't okay, but I had set out on a mission to prove Justin wrong since he had done that to me too many times the past couple of weeks. I knew the only way I was going to get through the night was to not think about Jake, not even once, and the only way I knew how to do that was to get drunk. The minute we walked in I ordered a round of shots for everyone, and two and a half hours later I can't even tell you how many I've thrown back, but one thing is for sure... Jake is the furthest thing from my mind.

Trace was off dry humping his girlfriend on the dance floor, while Justin was on the prowl looking for prey, and I managed to strike up a riveting conversation with a nice man named Butch. His name alone should have been my first red flag, but in the state I was in I believe I told him his name was sexy. I gave him my entire life story. I should rephrase that to I gave him the whole life story of a girl named Michelle who was from New York City who was in Memphis visiting her aging grandmother and lived in a penthouse apartment with her four dogs and two housekeepers. He sat there and nodded asking me questions about how I could afford such an extravagant lifestyle and seemed pretty enthralled with the conversation. In reality he probably saw it as an opportunity to get in my pants so he just did what he thought would get him some action. I'm not really sure where I pulled my bullshit answers from but he seemed to buy into it well enough to keep ordering me drinks and I wasn't about to complain about that. Before I knew it the DJ announced that it was five minutes until the New Year and I was pretty sure that I had myself someone to kiss at midnight, especially since Butch's hand had found its way onto my thigh. That is until Justin decided to come and ruin my fun.

"Come on Em, it's time go leave," he yelled from behind me.

"Leave...Why the fuck would I leave now Justin?" I said slurring every word that came out of my mouth.

"Let's go," he said sternly grabbing onto my arm. I pulled it away from him while attempting to stand up, but landed flat on my ass instead. I looked up at a spinning Justin and wanted nothing more then to kick him in the balls and yell at him for ruining the good night that I was having, but couldn't do any of that because I couldn't even figure out where his eyes were on his face. I felt someone put my arm around there neck and lift me up onto my feet. I put my hand out and held onto the bar while trying to find Butch. One second he was right in front of me, and the next he was next to me and then after that he was behind the bar.

"Butch? Butch why do you keep moving Butch?" I asked managing to get the words out about as fast as a toddler would. When I heard no response I asked him the million-dollar question, "Let's go back to your place Butch...Whaddaya say huh?"

"Anything you want Shelly."

"Well Yippee Kiyay Partner!" I yelled reaching out for his hand, but was met with Justin grabbing onto it instead.

"Shelly actually won't be going back to your place tonight Butch, sorry about that," Justin said picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder.

"Put me down you asshat," I yelled punching him in his back, "I want to go with Butch!"

"Yeah cowboy, she wants to go with Butch. Let the little lady do what she wants," Butch said to Justin.

"I don't really think the Little Lady even knows her own name right now, but thanks for trying to take advantage of her. Happy New Year," Justin responded and started walking away. I was mad, no I was heated and with every step he took with me hanging over his shoulder I was one step closer to hurling all over the back of his pants. Right as I heard the bells on the door ringing as they closed, the 10-second countdown started. Justin threw me in the passenger's seat of his Audi and put the seatbelt on for me just as everyone screamed "HAPPY NEW YEAR."

"Well are ya gunna kiss me or what?" I asked him still pissed off that he made me leave.

"Or what," he said as a statement and immediately confused the shit out of me.

"What?"

"You said am I going to kiss you or what, and I choose or what," he said sitting down and putting the keys in the ignition.

"What?"

"Happy New Year Emily..."

"Thanks for ruining my fun JUSTIN..."

"I knew you weren't ready for this," he sighed.