Technically I've never been hit with a ton of bricks, though it is a statement I use quite frequently. However, I'd imagine this is exactly how I would feel if I ever did in fact get hit with a ton of bricks. My head is about to explode out of my skin, and every single inch of my body is sore. Just lifting my head to see the time on the clock took about as much effort as it would take an 180lb man to push a Mac Truck two miles down the road. 9:45...or is that an 8? 8:45, no no, definitely 10:15. I threw my 50-pound head back down on the pillow and let out an extremely loud moan, closing my eyes praying sleep would come over me and I wouldn't wake up until I could function as a human being again. After about 15 minutes of attempting to toss and turn I realized that I was awake, I wasn't going back to sleep and I had to deal with this massive hangover all day.

I was lying flat on my back trying to remember the events of last night, but nothing after the car ride to the bar really came back to me. I was starting to worry that I was drugged after racking my brain for some answers for a good amount of time. I wasn't one to ever get so drunk that I don't remember what happened when I wake up the next day. In fact, I always hated the fact that I knew what I was doing in the moment but I just couldn't stop myself when I had a little bit too much to drink. I was literally a train wreck when I drank which is often the reason why I don't do it. Little things were coming to me, like the ringing of bells and something about a housekeeper, but I couldn't place where either of those things fit into my night last night. Seeing as though I was in Justin's guestroom I was pretty sure no one slipped me the date rape drug, unless of course Justin did but I highly doubt that would ever occur.

I decided that I needed to get up and get some Advil or else I was going to be bedridden for the next several days. 30 minutes after sitting up in my bed I managed to see straight enough to throw my legs over the side and attempt to stand up. However, I was a bit too ambitious too fast because that ended in me wobbling to the side, and as I attempted put my hand on the nightstand to catch my balance, I missed and fell into it instead causing everything on top of it, including a bedside lamp to fall on top of me.

"Oh fuck me," I said out loud and immediately put my hand on my head reminding myself never to speak again to avoid unnecessary throbbing pain. I threw my arms out and closed my eyes hoping that somehow I'd magically get myself up off the ground and find my way into the bathroom without needing to try so hard to focus. I laid there for a while, with the lamp on my stomach and a clock down by my leg and I'm pretty sure I fell back to sleep because when Trace came in my room and started hysterically laughing he scared the shit out of me. "Shut up you asshole...my head is pounding," I said after regaining a normal heart rate.

"JUSTIN!!!" he screamed through the open door, and I wanted to punch him in the head.

"You're in inconsiderate asshole you know that right?"

"It's one of my best qualities," he said pointing and laughing at me as Justin walked in the room holding a bowl of cereal in his hands. I saw the right side of his mouth go up before he bit his lip trying his hardest not to smile and laugh along with Trace.

"Go ahead just laugh, I know you want to..."

"Why would I laugh?" he asked shoving Captain Crunch in his mouth to stifle the chuckles that were escaping him.

"Because I'm on the floor unable to move with a lamp on top of me. But before you two go into a fit of hysterics can you pass me that trash can so that I can hurl in it?"

"Alright there Shelly, calm down," Justin said putting his bowl on the dresser. He grabbed the trash before walking over to me; taking the lamp off of my stomach and helping me sit up. "Don't hurl all over my new hardwood floors unless you plan on cleaning it up." 

I proceeded to throw up in the trash for what seemed like a good hour or so, and in the process managed to get my annoying brother out of the room since he is the king of, if you throw up I'll throw up syndrome. Justin being the gentleman that he's magically turned into stayed with me and held up my rat's nest of hair while I threw up everything besides my large intestine. Once I was done hurling he took the trashcan and I'm assuming cleaned it out in the bathroom, coming back to sit next to me a few minutes later. "You think you'll live Shelly Belly?" he asked handing me a few Advil a glass of water, and a wet facecloth.

I threw the pills in my mouth and washed them down with one big gulp, putting the glass on the floor next to me, "So are you going to tell me why you're calling me Shelly?"

"I don't know...maybe you should ask Butch."

"Who the fuck is Butch?" I asked looking at him confused, but happy I could finally see straight.

"Who is Butch...That is a good question."

"One that you might answer?"

"You don't remember anything about last night do you?" I shook my head looking down into my lap. It wasn't something I was proud of already, but the more Justin said, and the more I had no clue what he was talking about, the more embarrassed I was getting. "Butch would be the old ass redneck that you begged to go home with last night. Something about riding him cowboy style and things of that nature that I'd rather not repeat."

"Oh Jesus Christ! I didn't go home with him did I?" He didn't say anything, just sat there, licked his lips and looked at his hands. "JUSTIN!"

"You would have if I didn't stop you. Not that you wanted me to stop you or anything but..."

"I am such a fucking idiot," I said shaking my head in my hands.

"You're not an idiot. You were just really drunk, and not ready to be out at a bar yet. So instead of admitting that you drank to the point of no return in hopes that no one would notice. But while you were drowning your miseries in shots of tequila and telling your new friend Butch all about you ill grandmother and your penthouse apartment in New York City, I was sitting there watching you trying to figure out if I should let you continue to be a blubbering drunk and let the guy take advantage of you since you broke the promise you made to me; or if I should actually listen to my conscious and get you out of the dumb situation you got yourself into."

"And you got me out of the dumb situation because that's what you do now..."

"Why wouldn't you just tell me Em? I thought we were at a point now where you could tell me things and know I wouldn't make fun of you or anything," he looked at me with sad eyes. I'd let him down. The one person that's actually been there, that actually gets me I've managed to let down again. What the hell is wrong with me?

"I'm sorry Justin...I don't know what I was thinking. Everyone was just so excited that I was actually getting back to normal, and honestly I really thought I was ready. I wanted to be ready so bad. I just...I knew when we pulled up to the bar that I wasn't but I told myself it was something I had to overcome, baby steps you know? I guess I just...well I chose the wrong way to overcome it I suppose. I didn't want to let anyone down..."

"Well you managed to let me down by doing what you did Emily."

"I know," I whispered unable to look at him knowing that he was now disappointed in me. "I was stupid, and I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you I promise."

"You can make it up to me by going somewhere with me and not getting mad at me for taking you there," he replied and I looked up at him. His eyes were hopeful, and mine were scared. Did I feel bad about lying to him and breaking my promise, of course I did. But did I feel bad enough to let him take me somewhere without knowing where exactly it was and promising not to get mad at him was the real question. "Come on," he said not even giving me a chance to figure out my answer. He stood up and held his hand out for me to take before pulling me up. My head was still pounding, though it no longer felt like it was going to explode, and shockingly I was able to see and walk straight. I guess I was going wherever he wanted to take me whether I liked it or not.

***

"Julie, listen to me very closely," I said looking at the open file on my lap, "I need those contracts on my desk by 8am tomorrow. I cannot stress enough how important this is. If they're not on my desk the sponsor is out the door and that means that there will be no tour, which we both know is not what we want." I threw my hand up and grabbed the handle of the car door as Justin took a sharp corner, "Jesus Christ would you slow the fuck down? No no...not you Julie I was talking to Justin--"

"Mr. Timberlake," Justin snapped at me, and I just looked up at him and glared.

"I was talking to Mr. TIMBERLAKE Julie not you...you cocky asshole...no Julie no, again not talking to you," Justin started laughing in the seat next to me while my assistant went off in my ear about letting Mr. Timberlake know that his pending arrival to the Tennessee office is much anticipated. "Please Jules, don't let his head expand any larger then it already is," and with that I got hit in the shoulder by the cocky asshole himself. "Julie just shut up for a second! All that matters right now is the contract. On my desk by 8. I'll see you tomorrow."

"I think your assistant has a little crush on your boss Miss Logan. How long do you think it would take for me to get her in my bed?"

"NO! No, not again Justin," I yelled shooting my head up from the papers in my lap to look at him sternly, "You will not...I repeat, WILL NOT sleep with another one of my assistants."

"Another one?" he asked with a smirk on his face.

"Don't be an asshole. Meghan was my best assistant to date and you had to go con her into sleeping with you, and then when you stopped returning her calls and texted her to say you were through with her I was the one that had to deal with the sobbing, and then she quit two days later. You will NOT be sleeping with Julie, do I make myself clear? Go jerk off in a sock or go find a supermodel to fuck, but you will not engage in any sort of relationship with my employees."

"Loud and clear captain." A few minutes of silence past as Justin continued to drive to some secret destination, and I went through a pile of paperwork, correcting all the mistakes he had made while filling in for me. "Nice to have you back Logan," he said out of nowhere, "It's been far too long since you've yelled at me about my sex life."

"It's good to be back," I said with a smile. We drove for about 10 more minutes before the car came to a stop and Justin put it in park. My head was buried in contracts, press releases, and artwork that needed to be approved and I didn't even realize we had reached our destination until Justin hit my arm. I looked up, and when I saw what was in front of me I lost all sense of feeling in my body and the pen I was holding in my hand fell to the floor of the car. "No...no no no. Absolutely not. You can turn the car around right now because there is no way."

"You said you wanted to make it up to me and--"

"Not like this," I said cutting him off, "Anything but this. You can fuck my assistant, it would take you no longer then 4 seconds for her to agree to sleep with you. Hell you can fuck everyone in my office, but not this Justin no way..."

"It's something you're going to have to overcome eventually Emily, and now is as good a time as any."

"You told me yesterday," I started with tears filling my eyes, "You told me yesterday to tell you if I wasn't ready, and I'm telling you I'm not ready Justin..."

"You're never going to be ready."

"I'm not going in there. You can't make me."

"Do you want my help?" he asked me looking at me dead in the eyes. When I didn't answer he put his hands on my shoulders, "Do you want my help Emily? Because if you do, you will go in there. If you don't go in there this is where my help ends, you'll be on your own. I know that's not what you want, and that's not what I want either"

"Why are you doing this to me?" I asked letting the tears fall down my red cheeks.

"Because it's time," he replied getting out of the car and walking around to my door to open it. I didn't know what to do. All I knew was that I needed Justin to get through everything and if I didn't do what he said he'd be gone, and we'd be back to the way we were a few months ago. My door opened and I saw his hand in front of my face. A part of me was saying to take it, and the stronger other half of me was saying not to move. I sat there weighing the pro's and con's and finally decided that if I didn't take his hand I was going to be back to the person I was for three months that hated life and everything that went along with it, and I did not like that feeling. I took a deep breath and attempted to stop the tears that were still falling, and put my hand in his exiting the car. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we walked up the steps and he opened the brown door with a key he took out of his pocket. As the door swung open I was met with a familiar scent and I closed my eyes taking it all in before Justin motioned for me to go in.

I wasn't lying when I said I wasn't ready for this, and it was boggling my mind as to why he took me here. It seems like it's been years since I've stepped foot in here, but at the same time instinct took over. I dropped my purse on the table sitting by the door and walked directly over to the stairs. I normally took them two at a time, but today I went up one by one as slowly as possible. When I made it to the top I walked down the long hallway passing four doors on the left, and four doors on the right. The french doors I was headed for were closed and I turned around as I put both of my hands on the doorknobs to open them. Justin wasn't behind me and I let out a sigh of relief because in a way I didn't want him here with me. I pushed the doors open and felt every part of my body drain as I made my way inside the room running my hands against the wall on the right side of me.

I sat down on the side of the bed that was unfamiliar to me, looking at the headboard and the pillows lying up against it. Without really knowing what I was doing I reached my arm out and grasped onto the pillow closest to me and brought it to my chest to hug it. Putting my face down on top of it I took in a breath and completely lost it, sobbing uncontrollably clutching the pillow that smelt just like Jake did as close to my chest as possible. For the first time in about a month I was forced to think about Jake as I sat on our bed in the master bedroom of the house we shared together. The house that we built together. The house that we made so many memories in together. I was forced to think about him, to remember everything about it, to think about my life without him, and for the first time to think about how it was I was actually going to move on.