Noah scrunched his nose with confusion.  “Dad, I thought you said you were going to tell Sarah and me how you met Mom.”

“It’s Sarah and I,” Justin said, shaking his head as he corrected Noah’s grammar.

“But I don’t get it.  What does meeting Aunt Alexia have to do with Mom?” Sarah asked.

“Right now this is a piece of the puzzle, trust me, the story is getting there,” he said.  “Now, where was I?”

**

While I waited for Alexia to return to the living room, I quickly caught JC up to speed on her and how she was the woman I had met earlier in the week. 

He nodded with amazement at the coincidences.  “Well, it’s just so funny that you two met like that.  Maybe it’s meant to be.”  He immediately stopped talking and cleared his throat as he felt the return of the two women into the room.  He pulled Whitney by the arm, leading her over to the sofa.  Alexia smiled watching them, as I nervously stood next to her. 

“Look, Alexia, about the other night…” I said, clasping my hands together.

“You know, don’t worry about it Justin.  It’s really not a big deal,” she said, brushing me off.

“No, it is a big deal.  I lost your number.”

She gave me a look of doubt.  “Riiight.”

“No, seriously.  Trace spilt his beer all over it and so I lost it, right Trace?” I said, nudging his shoulder from his spot on the couch.

“What, Bro?” he asked, irritated he was being distracted from the game.

“Didn’t you spill your beer all over Alexia’s number?”

“Yes, I did,” he said, nodding to Alexia.  “Now, can I watch the game in peace?”

“Please, let me make it up to you.  Let’s go out to dinner, tomorrow night?” I offered.

She sighed, “Alright.  I do admire your persistence.”

“Where do you live?” I asked. 

“Oh…the Upper East Side,” she said with a laugh.

“I didn’t realize you lived in New York.  Where are you staying?”

She pointed outside, to the small structure past the swimming pool.  “Oh, I’m staying at a ritzy hotel.  It’s called JC’s guest house.”  She said goodnight and headed out the patio door, past the pool area.

“Justin, I just want to point something out to you,” Trace said, looking up. 

I reluctantly sat down next to him.  “What’s that?”

“Well, here is Lesson #3.  A Bro doesn’t let another Bro get married until he’s at least thirty.  Now, your birthday is fast approaching,” he said, pointing his finger at me. 

“Yes, I know, the big 3-0,” I sighed.

“Right, well just don’t go doin’ anything foolish up until then.  Alright?  I’m going to keep that rule alive and well, so don’t go and do something stupid like propose to this chick.  Alright?”

I rolled my eyes, “Yes, thank you all-mighty-Trace!”

He looked over at Whitney and JC.  “By the way, did I congratulate you two?”

Whitney snatched  a pillow and threw it at his head in response. 

**

The next night, I picked up Alexia.  We headed off to a little bistro restaurant in West Hollywood. 

Meanwhile, JC and Whitney had decided to celebrate their engagement with some alone time at the house. 

“Oh, look what I’ve got,” he said, revealing a bottle of champagne from behind his back.  He handed her the bottle. 

“Aww, sweetie.  Champagne?” she smiled, handing the bottle back to him.

“Yes,” he said, passing the bottle back off to her.

“No, you are being ridiculous.  You are far too old to be afraid of opening a bottle of champagne!”

“I’m not scared,” he said, placing a hand on his hip.

“Then open it,” she smiled, handing the bottle back over to him once more.

“Fine, I’m scared.  Can you please open it?”

“JC, you are unbelievable,” she said, shaking her head.

He took the bottle, apprehensively.  “Okay, I want to drink a toast with my fiancée.  I have got to man up!”  He slowly started to remove the foil from the top of the bottle.  “Okay, this isn’t so bad.  Pretty easy, right?”

Whitney screamed as the cork popped and clocked her in the eye. 

“Whitney!  I’m so sorry, we’ll go straight to the hospital.  Honey, I’m so sorry,” he said, running a hand over her back as he tried to escort her outside to the car. 

**

After returning to drop her off at JC’s place, I made my way back around the house.  I was ready to slip back into my car when I heard a knocking on the glass of the front door.   JC was standing in the doorway, motioning for me to come inside.  I nodded, heading inside. 

 “Mom and Dad, Alexia is truly the perfect woman.”  I chuckled as I settled into the sofa, a goofy smile on my face.  “Whoa!” I said, taking a look at Whitney’s face.  She was wearing an eye patch.  “What happened to you?”

She sighed, “It’s a long story, and we’ll tell you later.  So how was this date?”

 “JC, how have I always described my dream woman?” I smiled, waiting to see what he remembered. 

He ran a hand through his hair as he tried to recall all the things I had said.  “Well, she likes dogs, drinks tequila and quotes lines from Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.  Oh, and she hates tomatoes!”

“Let me tell you about this girl.  She has three dogs and she ordered a margarita on the rocks with salt.” 

Whitney clapped her hands, “Oh, this is fantastic!”

“But, wait, it gets better.  When I asked her what we were going to do afterwards she said, and I quote ‘The question is not what we’re going to do, but what we’re not going to do.’”

“Classic Cameron Frye line!  Gee, I’m surprised we didn’t think to set these two up before all of this,” JC shook his head with disbelief. 

“And then,” I held up my hands mimicking an orchestra conductor, “She received her salad and asked if I would like her tomatoes because she doesn’t like them,” I sighed with satisfaction, leaning back once again. 

“The tomato theory!” JC high-fived me.  The tomato theory is this theory JC created based around his relationship with Whitney.  She hates them and he loves them.  In some sort of strange logic, JC believes that this somehow makes them a perfectly balanced couple.  “You guys are on, on ‘til the break of dawn!”  He started doing the robot with excitement.  Sometimes he can be a real goofball.

“But, wait,” Whitney said, crossing her arms.  “It’s only 10:30, what happened?”

“Well, I walked her back to the door and then she said, ‘I had a, uh, really great time tonight,’ with this nervous expression.”

JC leaned in with interest, resting his elbow on the armrest of the sofa.  “So, did you kiss her?”

“No, it just didn’t feel right.  This woman might become my future wife.  I want our first kiss to be a really special moment,” I said, with a sigh.

Whitney smiled, “Ah, Justin, that’s just so sweet.  So…” she leaned back, resting her elbow on the top of the couch and leaning her head against it for support.  “So, you chickened out like a little bitch.”

“Whaaat?  I did not!  You know what, I don’t need to be taking dating advice from a pirate who hasn’t been single in years,” I said, crossing my arms. 

“Hey, don’t talk about my pirate fiancée like that,” JC said, defensively.

“Justin, anyone else would tell you the same thing, even the dumbest single person alive.  And if you don’t believe me, dial him up.”  She motioned towards my cell phone and I nodded as I called Trace.

“What up, loser?” he said.

“Trace, I need your opinion on something.”

“Okay, shoot!”

“So these guys think I chickened out with not kissing Alexia, but I didn’t get the signal.  What’s your ruling on that?”

  “The signal?  Have I taught you anything?  You don’t wait for a signal – you just kiss her!”  I could just tell from his tone that he was shaking his head. 

“But what if she didn’t want me to kiss her?”

Whitney and JC both looked at each other, knowing Trace had agreed with them. 

“Well, then at least you could go to bed tonight knowing that you and her are never gonna happen.  You should have kissed her!”

I sighed, hanging up with Trace.  “I should have kissed her.  I’m going to kiss her, right now.”

“Look, dude, it’s a little late and that’s weird.  She thinks you went home by now, if she isn’t already in bed.  As your friend, I feel like it’s my duty to advise you that’s freakin’ crazy!”  JC shook his hand at me, dismissively. 

“I never do anything crazy, ever.  I’m always planning and waiting for the moment,” I said, banging my fist against the table.  “I have got to take this leap in order to fall in love and get married.”

“Kiss her, Justin.  Kiss her good,” Whitney said. 

“Kiss the crap out of that girl!” JC patted me on the back. 

I nodded, talking myself into it as I slipped out of the patio door and made my way around the pool.  I timidly knocked on the door, waiting. 

She opened the door a few moments later.  “Justin?”

“Hey, I was just…uh…” I panicked.

“Come on in,” she said with a smile. 

**

She had put some light music on and we had found ourselves slow dancing together.

“I think I like your dance moves,” she whispered. 

“I think I like your smile,” I said. 

She smiled a little wider as she looked up at me.  “I think I like your eyes.”

“I think I’m in love with you,” I said. 

“What?” she slowly pulled away from me.  I panicked.  I hadn’t realized what I was saying and now it was too late. 

“So, New York.  Do you spend a lot of time in Central Park?  That’s a great Park,” I struggled to change the subject. 

“You love me?” she sat down on the loveseat, looking at me bewildered.

“I can’t believe I just said that,” I said, apologetically.  “Why did I say that?  Who says that?  I think I should just go.”

“Um, okay…” she said, with discomfort.

“Thanks, I love you.  What is wrong with me?”

She stood up and I followed me as I headed for the door. 

“So, when you tell this story to all of your friends, could you just use the word ‘eccentric’ instead of ‘psycho’?” I laughed nervously.

“Goodnight, Psycho,” she said, with a gentle smile.

I started to walk away.  I should have just walked away.  But, I ended up turning around.  I just couldn’t let it go.  “You know what?  I’m done being single.  I’m just not any good at it.  I mean, obviously, you cannot just go around telling a woman you just met that you love her, but that sucks!  And if a woman could bear with me through this whole journey, I know I’d be a great husband and a great father.  Oh, and a great kisser!”

She smiled, “Everyone thinks that they’re a great kisser.”

“Oh, I’ve got a few references,” I said, with a wink.

“Goodnight, Justin,” she said, with a small wave as she shut the door.