We’ve been finished for over two weeks and it is so liberating not having to go onto set every day and put myself in Lucy’s shoes. I know that all the publicity and attention getting shoved in my face was daunting and stressful, but it was nothing like being shoved in the mind of an egotistical, charismatic and emotionally fucked up crack head.

And I think having a publicist deal with my entire personal/public persona is doing wonders as well. The direct phone calls from random tabloids like TMZ and Us Weekly have stopped. Instead, they go to my publicist and he dutifully tells them that I’m not interested.

There was a moment of apprehension when the first thing Ken wanted me to do was release a joint statement with Jude saying we’re in a relationship. He said it would be easier than having Jude’s people stating over and over again that we were just friends and he was helping me adjust to fame.

And I have to say that was yet another weight on my shoulders being taken away; now I don’t have to hide what I feel for Jude, we don’t have to be so secretive about our relationship and that’s wonderful.

The downside to that is the media is obsessed with our romance or whatever the heck they’re calling it right now. Every time we go out they’re always on our tail, taking pictures, asking us questions. It’s pretty daunting, but I guess it’s just like getting ready for a recital or something – you get better with practice.  

Jude’s gone back to London for a few days to drop his kids off with their mother. He’s been gone for about three days and I miss him terribly, but we still speak every day. But I’m glad that I get to spend the day with Pepper and Elle.

Pepper and I managed to pull Eleanor away from her work long enough to venture onto Sunset and pick out a chic eatery for lunch.

“It’s so gorgeous outside,” I exclaim to my siblings as we get out of Eleanor’s car, “this place has a nice terrace, let’s get a seat here.”

We look like a bunch of hippies as the hostess seats us; I’m in a long lavender skirt and a white blouse. It still amazes me that I have to leave the house and be incognito with a giant floppy hat and equally huge sunglasses. Eleanor is wearing her trademark high wasted flair jeans and a billion necklaces over her white T-shirt. And Pepper, of course, is wearing his customary board shorts, ripped up black T-shirt, thick scarf (even though it’s July), and flyaway blonde hair.

“Young Penny and I are so happy you could come out with us, Elder Elle,” Pepper exalts as he stretches out in his seat, getting approving glances from the girls seated next to us.

“I wish you would stop with those nicknames, Sergeant. In case you forgot, Penny is actually older than you,” Elle points out and Pepper merely grins in response.

“Yes, but her spirit is younger.”

“I doubt that,” Elle and I say at the exact time, which causes all three of us to laugh.

We browse through the menu and quickly place orders for drinks and appetizers. I lean back in my chair and close my eyes, allowing my skin to drink up the hot California sun. The only way this day could be more perfect is if Jude were with us.

“Excuse me, are you Penelope Asherbee?”

My eyes shoot open and I peer at a man standing on the other side of the fenced off terrace with a giant camera around his neck. I shake my head violently and try to give him my best smile.

“I-I get that all the time,” I stammer and before I know what’s happening he’s quickly taking my picture.

“What are you doing?” Elle demands and I try to silence her by putting a hand on her arm. “Can’t you see we’re trying to eat lunch here?”

“Sorry lady, just doing my job.”

“Well do it elsewhere,” she snaps and I want to groan in protest when another photographer crosses the street out of curiosity.

“We’ve got Penelope Asherbee here,” my first assailant proclaims and I just want to die as the second photog pulls out his phone and makes a few phone calls in a language I can’t place.

“Can you leave please?” Elle asks politely. I turn to look at Pepper, but he’s currently inspecting the gum underneath the table like it’s a social experiment gone awry. I feel like I should be ducking under the table, too because I have never been so embarrassed in my life.

“Penny, can you tell us about your relationship with Jude?”

“Are you thinking about adopting his kids?”

“Is it true he’s still seeing his ex-wife? What are your thoughts on that?”

I’m trying to keep the dumb smile plastered on my face, but there are more photographers approaching and I can feel my breath catching in my throat. My hand tightens on Elle’s arm and she gives me a comforting look before she asks if they can leave us alone again.

“Tell us about your role in the movie. What was it like working with people with so many talent?”

“Are you as talented as them? Do you think you’re better than them?”

“Did you really get Valora fired so you could get her part? What about your relationship with the director? Is it true you worked the casting couch and he tried to put you in Valora’s role? Care to comment?”

I can feel the tears burning the back of my eyes and I’m thankful for my sunglasses. Pepper is suddenly out of his seat and is trying to block me from the photographers, but they merely hold their cameras up over his frame and continue to shoot me.

“We need to get out of here. Pepper take Penny to the car. I’ll go take care of the check,” Elle explains as she pries my hand off of her arm and heads inside. I look towards Pepper and I find that I’m completely rooted to the spot. I can’t get out of the chair.

“Come on, Young Penny. To the car, to the car. We will be safe in the car.”

He holds onto my hand and we turn our back on the photographers who merely start to run down the side of the terrace still filming us. I feel like doing the clichéd Hollywood Starlet and holding my hand up to my face to block them, but right now I’m just surprised that my legs are actually working.

The photographers are still following us, screaming questions and demanding answers. I try my best to ignore them, but before I can get to the car, the side of my head is on fire and my eyes begin to smart.

“Hey! Knock that off!” Pepper yells and my heart leaps into my throat. I don’t think I’ve ever heard my brother take on a threatening tone with anyone. This time I can’t control the tears and by the time Pepper has stowed me safely in the backseat, I’m close to losing it completely.

“Penny, where can we go? We can’t really go home because they’ll just follow us. We need someplace safe,” Pepper says and I begin to freak out even more because I can hear the apprehension and anxiousness in his voice too. It takes me a moment to realize that the right side of the car is surrounded by paparazzi. Why the hell do they care so much?

“Penny?”

“Penny! Penny! Look this way Penny! Penny!”

“Penny!”

“What?” I roar and I realize that I’ve almost verbally taken the head off of my sister. She’s sitting in the driver’s seat and looking back at me with concern.

“Where can we go?”

“I don’t know. I just…Justin!” I exclaim, “Justin lives like, five minutes away.” I chuck my phone at Pepper, whose back is turned to the passenger side window, trying to block the photographers who are still pressed up against the car. “Call him.”

“Right away, Young Penny. Elder Elle let us drive forth and away from this madness.”

“Pepper, you are so fucking weird, I swear,” Elle mutters under her breath as she starts the car.

“Penny! Penny over here, just look this way once!”

“Oh my God, Elle would you drive?” I yell at her when I realize that she isn’t even moving.

“I don’t want to hit any of them,” she retorts and I can feel my heart quickening. Pepper is having a hushed conversation on the phone and I want nothing more than to curl up into a ball and never unfurl myself.

“Just drive!” I bellow.

“Yes, Elle! Tally ho! Justin said to go to his place.”

My sister finally gets the picture and she steps on the gas and gently eases onto Sunset Boulevard.

Thank God.

--

I was kind of surprised to get a call from Penny out of the blue. We’ve been out of production for two weeks and aside from seeing her at the wrap party, I’ve seen neither hide nor hair of her except for when I see her in the news.

So I was even more taken aback when I picked up the phone and it was Pepper on the line with a bunch of people screaming in the background.

“What the hell is going on, Pepper?” He quickly explained the situation – that paparazzi bombarded Penny at lunch and they were in a Mexican stand off in her sister’s car.

“She said you live close; can we stop by?”

“Of course. She knows where I live.”

“She’s not in any state to dispatch directions, dude,” Pepper clarified and I quickly relayed directions before he got off the phone.

After I got off the phone with Pepper, I made my way out of my home studio and went to wait in the dining room that overlooks my front yard. I’ve only been waiting for a few minutes so I’m shocked to see a Ford Focus pull into the driveway so quickly.

I head outside immediately, the car barely stopping before Penny erupts from the backseat in tears.

“I don’t understand why they’re so interested! Why can’t the leave me alone? Don’t they know I don’t fucking want this? I just don’t understand!” She’s ranting to herself and I don’t know if I have ever seen her this upset.

Pepper and another woman get out of the car. I’m assuming that’s Eleanor, Penny’s older sister and they both look at a loss for words. I walk over to them as Penny leans against the car still muttering to herself and trying to suppress her tears.

“What should we do?” Eleanor asks me as Pepper digs into his pockets.

“She needs weed, it’ll calm her down,” he says matter of fact. Eleanor rolls her eyes at him and he shrugs in response before she walks over to her sister and tries to put a comforting arm on her shoulder.

“Don’t touch me right now, Elle. Just don’t fucking crowd me, okay? Jesus,” Penny seethes as she throws her sister’s arm off her shoulder. I watch with my mouth open as calm, rational Penny throws her floppy hat down onto the ground and stalks to the other end of the driveway.

“I have never, ever seen her like this,” Eleanor says sadly as she walks back towards Pepper and me. She introduces herself and I smile at her with encouragement.

“Why don’t you guys go inside and make yourself at home. I’ll go talk to her.”

I don’t know if this is a good idea. I mean, if she’s going to turn her own sister away while she’s having this nervous breakdown what makes me think she’s going to talk to me?

It sounds weird, but I’ve actually been watching Penny’s press coverage since filming ended and I’m amazed at how much Hollywood is jumping down her throat – and this is before they’ve even seen her act.

The sad part is, Penny wants nothing to do with this part of filming – the promoting and the recognition. She told us time and time again on set that she was doing it as a favor, to keep friends employed, and to not let the rest of the cast and crew down. It really is a selfless act, but the industry doesn’t see it that way, because it’s normal for everyone to have another motive.

Penny doesn’t.

She’s so guarded about going out – wearing big hats, frumpy clothes to disguise her body, enormous glasses – she’s trying to protect herself. And most of the time I’ve seen pictures of her, it’s when she’s going out with Jude.

And in every picture I’ve seen of the two of them, it looks like Jude loves every single minute of the attention.

Not that I can blame him for liking the attention. He’s an actor, any attention is good publicity and he just so happens to be dating the mysterious Penelope Asherbee so naturally people are going to be all over them.

But Penny isn’t an actor and Jude should realize that.

I’ve finally reached Penny although I don’t know if she realizes that I’m standing behind her. I clear my throat to let her know I’m in her presence and I take a step back as she turns around quickly, tears still in her eyes.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes…No. I don’t know,” her voice cracks and I find that she can’t look me in the eyes, “that was so scary. I think I got hit in the head…” she lets her voice trail away as she gingerly reaches up with her fingers and brushes her blonde hair away to reveal a pretty nasty bump just off the center of her forehead.

“Ouch,” I wince, “We can put some ice on it inside,” I add as I reach out and brush my fingers around her goose egg. She nods and bites her lip and I notice the fresh wave of tears that are threatening to fall from her blue eyes.

“I think some of the photographers followed us here. They might be outside your house, I’m sorry.” She begins to cry and I feel for her, I really do. Before I know what I’m doing, I reach out and brush a few tears off her cheeks.

“Don’t worry about it, Penny. They’ve known where I’ve lived for years. Don’t cry.”

“Sorry,” she retorts, doing her best to smile. She’s quiet for a moment before she blurts out, “How do you live like this? How can you handle these people in your life every single day?”

“It’s a small price to pay to do something I love every day,” I say with a shrug. I reach out and put a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it lightly, “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I think I’ll be fine,” she smiles before she passes me and heads towards the house. I shove my hands in my pockets and follow her, glad that she’s finally starting to calm down. “Thank you for letting us crash your house.”

“Don’t worry about it. You can stay here as long as you want because the last time I checked your house is being staked out twenty-four-seven and you have like, zero security,” I laugh as she scrunches up her nose in disdain, “You might want to get that taken care of.”

“No,” she responds quickly, “I know that this will all blow over once the film comes out and if I splurge on security I’ll have a house with a huge fence and security cameras. And why will I need that when this is all said and done?”

“You have a point,” I explain as we walk up the front steps and enter the house.

It looks like Pepper has already started smoking his pot because he has a faraway look in his eyes as he stares at a piece of artwork hanging in my front hall. I look past Pepper and his reverie and notice that Elle is sitting on the stairs that lead into my sunken living room and she’s petting Buckley, a huge smile on her face.

“Okay,” I say clapping my hands together to alert Penny’s siblings that we’ve returned from our actor pow-wow out front, “I don’t know about you guys, but if we’re going to be smoking or hanging out or whatever, then we need to watch Labyrinth.”

“Oh. My. God,” Pepper interjects as he tears his eyes away from my painting, “I like you, man. I mean, I know you were kind of a dick a few months ago when you were mean to Holly Holiday and Young Penny and I had to go save her, but you have mentioned Labyrinth. You’re like my soul brother, you know my favorite movie.” I watch dumbfounded as he puts his hand in his pocket and pulls out a grinder.

He presents it to me and I feel like King Arthur. I steal a glance at Penny and I’m glad that she’s trying to suppress her laughter; at least her spirits are looking up.

“Here my friend,” Pepper says with a huge grin on his face, “Take all the kush you want from my stash. A disciple of Bowie the Goblin King is always welcome to my cannabis supply.”

 --

You know, I think I’m starting to dig this Pepper dude. Sure he has a funny way of talking and it looks like he hasn’t showered or properly groomed himself in weeks, but the guy has some high quality weed and…shit man I am so high right now.

I’m pretty sure we all are, but it has definitely made watching Labyrinth more enjoyable and it seems that Penny has even calmed down from her scare earlier today.

“It has always been a dream to achieve the same height and shagginess of Bowie’s hair in this film,” Pepper muses as he shoves a cheeto into his mouth. I remember showing him the small pantry I have off of my kitchen that’s reserved for food just to cure the munchies. I thought his eyes were going to bug out of his head. I vaguely remember him giving me a half hug explaining that my Munchie Pantry was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and it was something he would covet for as long as he lived in this world.

The guy is fucking weird, but like I said, he’s got some good weed and he’s funny as fuck when he’s baked.

We’re nearing the end of the movie, the part where Sarah finally makes it into the Goblin King’s castle to find her brother. I tear my eyes away from the screen to look at the Siblings Asherbee and see they are all engrossed with the film. The characters on the screen begin to speak and I see Pepper’s mouth move in sync with the dialogue in the film.

To say this is this guy’s favorite film is an understatement.

“I am totally naming my first born or my dog Jareth,” Pepper mutters under his breath in wonder just as Penny’s phone starts to ring.

I watch her check the caller ID and she smiles before she looks up and notices I’m watching her. “Gotta take this,” she explains before she rockets off the couch and heads towards the kitchen.

“Hey Jude,” Penny says and I can hear the smile in her voice even with her back to me.

Pepper and Eleanor throw their heads back and laugh in unison before they start to sing, “Don’t make it bad! Take a song and make it better! Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better!”

 God, they must have had The Beatles instilled in them since before conception.

I watch as Pepper pauses the film and rises from his seat on the couch. He reaches for his sister and she places her hand in his as he lifts her from the couch and they begin to dance around the living room, singing the song at the top of their lungs.

Shaking my head at their lunacy, I too get up from the couch and head towards the kitchen wanting to grab some cookies out of the Munchie Pantry.

Okay, so maybe I’m also trying to eavesdrop on Penny’s conversation, but that’s not the only reason I’m heading into the kitchen.

I notice her leaning on the island, the smile on her face replaced by an expression of concern. It seems that Jude is making some long winded speech on the other line.

“I’m fine, I promise,” she begins, “I swear. I mean, I can’t believe I was on the news over there so quickly….I was a bit taken aback to begin with, but I’ve had to calm down. No Jude, I’m fine. Really, I would tell you if I wasn’t…” I lose her strain of conversation as I head into the pantry and grab the Chips Ahoy! When I return, she’s still on the phone, “I’ll be there to pick you up on Thursday, promise….Okay. Yes. Love you too, bye.”

She puts her phone back in her pocket and looks up at me with a smile. I must look like a fucking heffer with a bag of cookies in my arms. I stand rooted to the spot as she saunters over to me and grabs the bag from me. I watch as she opens the bag and shoves a few cookies unceremoniously in her mouth.

“Govvlin Ting,” she says with a huge smile before we both start laughing and head back into the living room.

You know, for the first time since she signed on as an actress, this is the first time I’ve ever seen Penny so relaxed. And I really like that.