They kept her overnight for observation.  She had lost so much blood and had become so dehydrated because of it, the new doctor wanted her full of fluids before she left.  JC left her side only once to go down and talk to Katie and Brandon.  Laura begged him not to tell anyone what had happened.  Stating she didn’t want the sympathetic looks and overbearing concern, JC promised to adhere to her wishes.  He simply told Katie and Brandon that she had some feminine problems and didn’t want the news shared.  Once she got out, she didn’t want to talk about it.  Brandon accepted the news and one look from JC had Katie shutting her mouth.  He watched them walk out before he went back to her bedside. 

Not sleeping a wink, JC kept a steady vigil at his precious wife’s side.  He watched her as she slept, remembering the last time he had stayed beside her,  the night he started falling in love with her.  All of a sudden, reality hit and he realized that his child was gone.  The baby that they had been so excited about, they would never get to meet.  The baby they had only known about for a couple days.  He had been so focused on getting Laura through the day, he hadn’t stopped to think about his own loss as well.  He leaned his head back and let the tears roll down his cheeks, not bothering to wipe them away. 

***

Pale and shaky, Laura was wheeled out of the hospital the next morning, wondering to herself how the sun could be shining when all she could feel was darkness in her soul.  She knew JC was trying his best to be supportive, but right now all she wanted to do was be alone in her grief. 

She knew she had to put on a good face when she got home so that Brandon didn’t suspect anything.  Luckily the doctor wanted her to rest for the next day or two, so she could use that excuse as a reason why she was so tired.  She didn’t want to scare him or JC, but knew she had to deal with this on her own. 

JC parked the car Katie had brought them in the attached garage and quickly circled the car to help Laura out.  He walked behind her in case she stumbled or felt faint.  Brandon met them at the door and Laura opened her arms to him.  Gently his own arms encircled her. 

“Thank you Brandon for getting me help so quickly yesterday.  I’m sorry I didn’t pick you up from practice.”

“It’s alright, just don’t do that again, okay?” 

Laura forced a laugh.  “I hope not.  I think I’m gonna go lay down for a while.  And don’t you have to get to practice?” 

He glanced at his watch.  “Yeah, Katie is going to take me and pick me up.”  He grabbed her again, gently yet fiercely.  “I love you, I’m so glad you’re better.”  And he ran out the door. 

“Ready to head upstairs?”  JC placed a hand on the small of her back. 

“Yeah.”

They made their way to the stairs and Laura paused dreading the climb.  Right now the stairs went on forever.  Not even hesitating, JC swung her up into his arms and bore his wife up the stairs where he set her gently down in their bed.  She sighed as she relaxed against the mattress. 

“Is there anything you need?”

“A glass of water, please.” 

“No problem.”  JC headed into the attached bathroom to get a glass of water.  He almost fell over when he stepped all the way in.  This must have been where Laura had passed out.  There was blood all over the floor and the EMT’s had left behind wrappers for bandages in their hurry to get her to the hospital.  What had Laura had to go through by herself?  She had to have been in extreme shock as to not been able to think clearly enough to call 911. 

“JC?”  Laura called out, when he didn’t reappear.  JC quickly tried to compose himself, filling a glass with water, and going back to hand it to her. 

“Will you be alright for a few minutes?  I want to take a shower.”  JC was planning to clean the bathroom before she had a chance to see it and be reminded. 

“A few minutes, right!  I’ve never known you to take a quick shower.”  She tried joking to lighten the mood.  “I’ll be fine.  I’m just going to rest here, I’m so tired.”

“If you need anything, just yell.”  

Laura flipped on the tv and rolled onto her side.  So far she had been trying to push the whole incident out of her mind.  If she didn’t think about it maybe, just maybe, it wouldn’t be true. 

***

JC couldn’t believe it had only been a week ago that he had learned he was going to be a father.  And yet they only were able to celebrate for four days before losing her or him.  Just as the doorbell rang, JC realized tomorrow was his birthday.  He certainly didn’t feel like celebrating and he didn’t think Laura would either.  But as he walked to the door, he remembered that both their families were coming out for a few days to commemorate the occasion. 

Opening the door, he looked over their families as he felt Laura’s arm wrap around his waist.  In shock, he looked down at her.  She shook her head lightly as both were engulfed in hugs from everyone.  He kept a close eye on her, this was the first time she had interacted with anyone but him or Brandon since she got out of the hospital.  She had hardly even moved from the bedroom. 

Her eyes had shadows in them if you looked closely, but JC noticed that she never let anyone study her.  She moved from person to person, never lingering too long. 

“Can we get everyone something to drink?”  JC asked in a loud voice over the chatter.  Requests came from all over the room.  Leaving Brandon to entertain, JC guided Laura into the kitchen. 

“Do you want me to tell them to leave?  I can just tell them that you are not feeling well.”  He stepped in front of her, forcing her to stop gathering glasses.  “You don’t need a lot of company right now.  I can pay and have everyone stay in a hotel and you can have quiet and rest.”

“I’m fine.”  JC scoffed at that.  “Alright, I will be fine.  This will be good, get my mind off everything, get things back to normal.”

Doubtful, he replied, “Okay, but if you change your mind, let me know.”

“I will, I promise.”  She slid her arms around his waist and rested her head on his shoulder.  “Thank you for understanding and helping me through this, I love you.”

Pressing a kiss on her lips, he knew it was far from over.  Laura hadn’t even cried over it yet, JC was trying his best to follow the nurses suggestions of love and time, but other than that he had no idea to help his wife. 

Little did the couple know that Laura’s mom had been listening in the hallway to part of their conversation.  She scurried back and pulled JC’s mom aside. 

“You were right!  I think they are going to make an announcement while we are all here.  I just overheard JC offer to send everyone to a hotel since she wasn’t feeling well.”

“See I told you something was up.  If we stay here, then we’ll just pitch in and do everything so Laura doesn’t have to lift a finger.”  They shared a jubilant hug before rejoining the rest of the family. 

***

The celebrating and family togetherness went into the evening and through much of the next day.  It wasn’t often that the two sides of the family were able to spend time together.  Rumors had spread like wildfire behind JC’s and Laura’s backs about the hopeful pregnancy.  It was only a matter of time before someone let something slip. 

At supper that night, everything came to a head.  Several different conversations were taking place at once, until JC’s brother shouted over the noise. 

“So when are you two going to make the announcement that everyone is talking about?”

Everyone froze and turned their attention to the couple sitting next to one another.  JC slowly tucked Laura’s hand in his as he sent a glare toward Tyler. 

“I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”  His voice hardened. 

“Oh come on, we’re all family and we’re waiting.”

“Tyler,” JC’s tone gave a dangerous warning to his brother.  Others in the room looked  between the two men as if they were watching a tennis match. 

Not catching the undertone, Tyler continued on.  “The baby, that’s why we’re all here right?  Laura’s pregnant.”

Smiles began to light up the room as the families waited to hear the news.  Laura jerked her hand from his and with a stifled sob, stood, and mumbled, “Excuse me.”  She ran out of the room and up the stairs as JC jumped to his feet and headed toward Tyler, fists tightly clenched.  He grabbed Tyler by the collar and yanked him to his feet. 

Before he could punch his brother, JC felt his mom’s hand on his arm.  “JC?”  She asked.  “What’s going on?”

At once, JC’s shoulders drooped and he released Tyler with a sigh and stepped back.  “We were going to make an announcement today.  We just found out about the baby 8 days ago…but…four days ago, Laura had a miscarriage…If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to see to my wife.”

He exited and left behind a stunned and completely silent dining room.  Ascending the stairs, he heard desperate, body wracking sobs full of pain.  Tears immediately came to his own eyes, listening to her pain.  At a fast jog, he walked through the bedroom door she hadn’t shut and closed and locked it behind him.   

Laura was lying facedown in the center of the bed clutching a pillow fiercely to her chest.  JC climbed in next to her and settled his back against the headboard.  As she felt the bed move, Laura moved into JC’s open arms, where he settled her in his lap, her face tucked into his neck. 

JC rubbed his hands up and down her back soothingly.  He breathed in the sweet smell of her shampoo and let her cry it out.  There was nothing he could say at this point to get her through this.  He had to let her express her grief in her own way in her own time. 

Much, much later, her sobs had quieted to mere shudders running through her body.  JC thought she had fallen asleep when out of the blue she spoke. 

“I’m sorry about the baby.”  Her voice quivered. 

“Hey now, it’s not your fault.  There was nothing you could do to prevent it.”

Releasing a shuddering breath against his neck, “I know, I realize that, but that doesn’t change the fact that our baby is gone.”

He rubbed his cheek over her hair, “God needed our baby up there more than we did.”

“Yeah, I guess.  We’ll have another someday.”  Her fingers moved restlessly over his chest.

“Yes, we will and we can always adopt to fill in between our own kids.”  Laura’s soggy laugh against his chest warmed his heart. 

“You know I wouldn’t have chosen for people to find out like that, but I needed to cry and heal.”

“I almost punched Tyler.  He needs to learn to watch what he says.”

As she tipped her head back, she said, “My knight in shining armor.  Thank you for being there and helping me through this.  Have I told you how much I love and appreciate you?”

He brought his hands up and rubbed the tears on her cheeks away with the soft pads of his thumbs.  “Every day, in everything that you do.” 

She let out a deep sigh as she stroked a hand over his sopping wet t-shirt.  “I didn’t mean to give you a shower.”

“As long as they were healing tears, you can give me a snot shower anytime.”  He was extremely relieved to find that Laura was getting back to normal.  “Want me to draw you a bath?”

“No, thanks, I think I’m just going to hop in the shower real quick, if you don’t mind.  Are you going to head back downstairs?”

“Nah, you’re the most important person in the world to me and tonight it’s all about you.”  He grunted as she stuck an elbow in his stomach as she climbed off his lap.

“Sorry…I knew I married the most amazing man on the earth.”  She started to stand, but quickly sat back down on the edge of the bed.  “Whoa, headache.”

JC scooted to the edge next to her and stood.  Bending he scooped her up into his arms and carried her to the bathroom.  “I guess we’re just going to have to shower together so you don’t pass out, huh?”  JC joked to hide his concern. 

After helping Laura shower, JC quickly finished his own and dried off hurriedly.  Pausing as he drew pajama pants on, he thought he heard voices from the bedroom.  Surely Tyler wasn’t back for more. 

He yanked open the door and saw Brandon lying at the foot of the bed with Laura sitting at the head.  She patted the mattress next to her so JC would join them. 

“I thought we owed Brandon an explanation for everything that’s been going on around here the past week or so.”

JC situated himself comfortably facing his family.  “Sure, that’s a good idea.”

“First of all, let me begin by saying we never intended you to feel left out and certainly not to find out about everything in front of everyone else.”

“You know if you don’t want me around anymore just say so.”  Brandon said darkly. 

“You know that’s not true, don’t even think that.”  JC spoke sternly. 

Starting again, “We were so surprised by this pregnancy that we wanted a couple of days to let it sink in before we told anyone.  You know the day you found me in the bathroom?”  Laura waited for Brandon’s nod as JC reached out for her hand.  “JC had the next day off and we had made plans to tell you in the morning and go out for a big breakfast to celebrate before we spent the day doing whatever it was that you wanted to do.”

Seeing Laura struggle to get a hold of her emotions, JC picked up the story.  “It’s true, but when you found her, everything changed.  We didn’t want to tell people and have them react like they certainly will tomorrow morning when we go downstairs.  This was personal and Laura especially needed time to get over it.”

“You see, Brandon, it doesn’t matter if or when or how many other kids we have, you will always be our first.  Unfortunately for you though and fortunately for any others, you are the one who we get to make our biggest mistakes on.  But you are old enough that you can tell us when we’ve screwed up, and we will screw up.  That is one thing I can promise you.”  JC nodded emphatically in agreement to Laura’s statement.  “Any younger siblings you may gain over the years will be so thankful to you and look up to you as the best brother anyone could ever have.”

“Whether you like it or not, you’re stuck with us for the rest of your life.” 

“Looking back, I realize that we should have told you everything so much sooner, but we didn’t want to bring back painful memories or burden you in any way.  Can you forgive us?”

“You really scared me, you know?  I didn’t know what to do!”  Brandon sat up. 

“I know, I scared myself and JC too.”

“She certainly did.  And I am so grateful that you were here when I couldn’t be.  I promise you, I will never be out of contact for so long again, okay?”

Seizing the opportunity, Brandon asked, “Can I sleep in here tonight with you guys?”

The couple spoke their agreement in unison.  JC slid to the middle of the bed, lying on his back.  Laura immediately curled against his right side and nestled her head on his chest.  Brandon crawled to JC’s left side and propped himself up on his elbow looking down at his parents. 

“We may not say it often enough, but that doesn’t diminish our feelings, we love you Brandon.”  Laura looked over her husband’s chest to her son.

Smiling, Brandon replied.  “I love you too, mom – dad!”  It was the first time he had called them anything other than by their first names. 

Tears of joy leapt to Laura’s eyes, the tears of sorrow for now were gone.  JC wrapped  an arm around Brandon’s neck to pull him closer in the embrace.  This was what life was about; what made life complete.