It was pen pal day at school 7 days after my plea letter went out to this Justin character. Yet again, I was last to get my letter so I made sure to read Lauren's before I got a chance to finally meet the pen pal that was originally meant for me. "This is going to freak your freak Sophie, you are absolutely going to DIE!" Lauren said sliding the letter across her desk onto mine. I quickly picked up the letter and the first thing I noticed was her perfect penmanship, and how her lower case letters went precisely to the top of the dotted line on the yellow paper, and her upper case letters just hit the bottom of the top line. This is how normal people write, not like that crazy, cootie filled kid that wrote to me.

I began reading about this girl's life after school every day. Her nanny picked her up and she usually went straight into her luxurious pool before walking steps to the beach. She'd then go back to her office to do her homework before reporting to dinner that one of her four personal chef's prepared for her. While I knew this lifestyle probably impressed Lauren, I thought it was a little over the top so I rolled my eyes at her after the second paragraph about the car her father has already bought her for when she gets her license in 8 years. "Just keep reading!"

Cars...Limo's...Hollywood...Princess bed...Debbie Gibson...more cars...wait Debbie Gibson? My eyes nearly popped out of my head when I re-read the line that said 'Debbie Gibson came to my house for dinner last night,' over and over and over again. "Does that say? Did she seriously? Debbie Gibson?!" I nearly screamed, and I watched Lauren put her finger over her lips to keep me from getting in trouble for yelling. "Lauren, she knows Debbie Gibson! We have to meet this girl...We have to get to LA ASAP!"

"How are we going to get to LA? It's not like we can drive..."

"She can send one of her drivers duh! Quick write back and tell her we want to come visit. Maybe she'll send a private jet for-"

"Sophie here's your letter sweetie," Mrs. Green placed the envelope addressed to me on my desk. After just reading the best news of my life there was no doubt in my mind that my new pen pal was going to be amazing. So amazing that maybe...just maybe she could come meet Debbie Gibson with us. I threw Lauren's letter back on her desk and ripped the flap of the envelope open as fast as possible. I could feel my heart racing with excitement as I quickly unfolded my letter, closing my eyes before I read the letter that I should have received last week. When I opened my eyes and was met with the same illegible, unintelligent, crappy boy writing that I saw last week I wanted to cry. I sunk down in my chair slamming the letter on my desk.

"This is so stupid. What have I done to deserve this?"

"Did he write back?" Lauren asked. I looked up nodding at her with tears stinging at my eyes. "It's okay Sophie, we can share a pen pal if you want," she said reaching for my letter and reading it. My 8-year old self sat in my chair willing tears not to fall from my eyes. Everyone had such a cool pen pal and I was stuck with this kid. Why couldn't I get the girl that knows Debbie Gibson? "Looks like you two have a lot in common," my best friend said beside me, "He doesn't want to be your pen pal either." She slid the note back onto my desk. Curious as to what she was talking about, and why someone wouldn't want to be pen pals with me, I picked it up and read it to myself.

Dear Pen Pal,

Trust me, I begged my teacher to give me a different pen pal but she told me I was stuck with you. Before you even wrote to me I wanted someone different and after the letter you sent back to me I could do without ever speaking to you again but my teacher is insisting that I write back.

First of all, I do not have cooties. I shower every day and I can assure you that there are no bugs crawling on my body when I step in or out of the shower. If you'd like more proof I could have my girlfriend Leslie write you a letter. She sits next to me in music class and I'm going to ask her to write you something that I can stick in my next letter. Which reminds me, I'll also make sure she tells you that I'm not gay. 

Since we're going to have to deal with each other for the rest of this school year I guess I'll just keep writing what my teacher tells me to about myself and hope that one day you'll stop making fun of me in your letters back. Anyway, I heard Las Vegas was fun for grown up's but not for kids. What do you even do there?

Last night I went to go see the new Tom Cruise movie with my father. My mom and step dad told me I couldn't see it, so obviously I asked my dad to take me and since he feels bad that he rarely sees me he took me anyway. It was pretty good, but I would have rather been at a basketball game or a concert. Do you like sports? I know you think it makes me gay, but I really love music and singing. I've been taking voice lessons for a couple of years now and I'm trying to get my mother to take me on a couple of auditions.

Well, I don't really know what else to say, and my friend Trace wants to talk about last night's football game and I'd much rather be doing that then writing to you. So, I hope you can deal with me being your pen pal for the rest of the year.

Your pen pal (At least for now)

-Justin

Tom Cruise movies? Sports? Now we're talking. Maybe this kid won't be half as bad as I thought he would be. Not to mention the attitude that he's giving me via a pen pal letter makes me think we could actually get along. People say I act older then I really am and that I'm "sassy," so I can see us having some good times making fun of people together. The whole singing and dancing thing has to go though. He may say he has a girlfriend, but I don't believe it for a second. Though I would love a letter from someone letting me know that he is cootie free.

"Not so bad huh?" Lauren asked not taking her eyes off of her return letter to Miss Priss in LA.

"Eh...I guess I could live with it for a few months. Are you making arrangements for our trip to meet Debbie Gibson?"

"Working on it."

With that I started on my return letter to my pen pal in Hicksville. I'm going to meet Debbie Gibson soon so I guess I should just make the best of this situation since there was really no way out.

Dear Pen Pal,

This could be the start of a great school year long friendship...

***

After I graduated from college and got my first job I complained daily about how my life turned into a routine. I'd get up, go to work, hit the gym, come home to cook and eat dinner then shower and prepare to do it all over again the next day. What I didn't realize at the time was that those were my glory days. Now nine years later, two kids, an ex-husband, and husband number two I would do anything and everything to have a routine. I looked up from the chopping board in front of me where I was cutting vegetables to put in the salad for dinner tonight when I heard the back door close.

"Hey Lil how was school?"

"It was school...And it would have been nice if someone told me that Tyler came home early and I didn't have to wait for him to get on the bus."

I hit my head with the palm of my hand, "Oh I'm so sorry, I was supposed to tell your teacher when I picked him up but he was so sick I totally forgot."

"Well thanks to you I got yelled at by the bus driver!"

"I'm sorry okay? I'll talk to the bus driver in the morning and tell him it was my fault. To make it up to you I'll only make you stay in your room until dinner instead of the whole night, how about that?"

"How about you don't make me stay in my room at all..."

"Nice try. Get upstairs and don't stomp your feet or slam doors because your brother is sleeping up there." She stomped off with a huff, completely disregarding my request to not make noise so I decided to add onto her frustration, "And don't worry Dad unhooked your cable before he went to work so you can get all your homework done before dinner!"

"Ugh! You guys suck!"

"Watch your mouth sunshine or else you'll be up there for the rest of the week." It was times like these when my first born suddenly turned into a tween and hated her parents that I wished for that routine back. Not even the routine of my first job, but just the routine of her being a baby and me being her person. I pushed the cucumbers into the salad bowl and put it in the fridge before wiping the sweat off of my forehead with the sleeve of my shirt.

I could still hear her mumbling under her breath upstairs when I walked past her room into my office. Unlike some people these days I was lucky enough to land my dream job right out of college. It helped that I decided to attend school in LA and not in Vegas since I'm pretty sure I'd be flipping burgers if I decided to continue my education there. I was also lucky in the sense that I got a really great internship my senior year as a Jr. Journalist for Rolling Stone Magazine, and extra lucky that they liked me enough to hire me. The luck continued when I had my first child and they granted me permission to work most days from home. I was in the process of finishing up an article when I got a call this afternoon about my son throwing up multiple times all over his classroom, so between picking him up from school and getting him to bed, starting to make dinner, and dealing with an irate 10 year old it was nearly impossible for me to finish before my 5:00 deadline. If this had been 9 years ago, or even 5 years ago this would be a breeze since I enjoyed what I was writing about, but these days writing about the Jonas Brothers and Justin Bieber really made me want to poke my eyes out with extra sharp razor blades.

Somehow I managed to get lost in my work and actually edit the article faster then I ever have since I popped out my last child. I realized that I should probably punish Lily everyday and if I could get Ty down for a nap when he gets home from school silence would fill the house and work could actually get done. I had one paragraph left to go when a knock on my office door made me jump out of my seat.

"Hey, I just wanted to let you know that I'm home."

"Hi," I replied looking at the clock on my desk, 4:45. "I'll be done in like 15 minutes and then I'll finish up dinner okay?"

"Sounds good, but um...Why is it so quiet in here?" he questioned softly walking closer to my desk.

"I had to pick Ty up from school because he was sick so he's still sleeping, and Lily is in her room hating her life."

"So maybe we have time for a little hanky panky before dinner?" he winked.

"I really need to finish this article J. I'm sorry..."

His smile turned into a frown and a look of disappointment appeared on his face, "It's okay...Do you want me to start dinner?"

"No, it's basically done I just need to throw the potatoes in the oven...but you can help by telling Lily that her father was arrested again last night so she won't be spending the weekend with him again."

He sucked in a breath knowing that this was only going to lead to even more disaster. Unfortunately for Lily her father was arrested frequently and even though his ass should be locked up he keeps getting bailed out because his new wife has connections. But every time it happens he bails on Lily for about a month before he decides he wants to get his act together and start being a father again, only to turn around a couple of weeks later and be a fuck up again. "Why don't we deal with that one together after dinner," he said kissing me on my forehead. "Love you Smurfette..."

"I love you too Yogi."