“Miss Ava!” Olivia squealed as she ran over to Ava who was walking into the play area of McDonalds.
Ava smiled and bent to the little girl’s level before she ran into her arms, “Hey there!” Ava said as she embraced her small body.
“I better now.”
“You are?”
Olivia shook her head yes, “Uh huh.”
“Daddy gave me special mebacine. My tummy no hurt no more.”
“That’s so good!” Ava said pushing some of Olivia’s hair out of her face.
“Wanna play in the balls wif me?”
Ava smiled, “I wish I could but I’m too big.”
“Will you wash me play then?”
“Of course!” Ava said as she stood up and adjusted her purse, “I’ll be sitting over there with your dad, ok?”
Olivia gave her a big smile before running toward the play area, “Otay!”
Ava looked on as Olivia crawled through the little tube to get to the pool of balls, and laughed as she saw her belly flop into them. She shook her head and walked over to the table where Justin was sitting. She smiled before greeting him.
“You’ve got quite the cute kid there.” Ava said pulling out a chair beside him.
He smiled, “I like to think she gets it from me, but I don’t know.” He said putting a fry in his mouth, “I hope you don’t mind but I took the liberty of getting you something. I don’t normally order someone else’s food but I didn’t want you to pay and you weren’t here.” Justin said handing her the meal he purchased for her and an empty cup, “Now the drink I didn’t know. Some girls are all anti pop and only drink water, and some just don’t care. I didn’t know which one you were so I opted to let you choose that.”
Ava laughed, “Well for future reference I’m a don’t care kind of girl. Whatever’s available I’ll drink.”
“Well tell me what you want and I’ll go get it for you.” Justin said putting his hand out for the cup to be returned.
“No it’s ok. I can get it.”
“No, no, I invited you let me do this.”
Ava was about to protest when Olivia called out, “Miss Ava you no watch me!”
Justin then placed a smug smile on his face, “Looks like I win, now, what’s your poison?”
Ava smiled and shook her head, “Really you don’t have to do this.”
“Olivia wants you to watch her so you have no choice.”
“Ugh fine, Dr. Pepper.” Ava said handing him back the cup.
“Miss Ava!” Olivia called out again.
Ava then turned her attention to the little girl demanding her attention, “I’m sorry sweetie. What is it?”
“Wash dis!” she said as stood up on the side of the rail and fell backward into the balls.
Ava shouted her praises, “Awesome. Show me how you did that.” Ava said humoring Olivia.
“I dot on da rail like dis.” She said climbing onto the rail, “Den I hold on to da strings.” She said placing her fingers through the string fence, “And den I let go!” she called as she fell back into the balls laughing.
Ava laughed as well. The little girl was just too cute for words. She looked behind her when she sensed someone coming up behind her and found Justin approaching with her drink.
“Here ya go.” Justin said as he sat the cup down on the table and slid into the booth seat across from her.
“Thanks.” Ava said as she looked over to Olivia who was currently giving her attention to a boy that was in the balls with her. “How do you keep up with her? She seems like a big ball of energy?” Ava said as she turned back to Justin. She opened the wrapper of her hamburger and took a bite.
Justin leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms, “That she is. She keeps me young that’s for sure. I’ve had experience with my brothers when they little so I kind of knew what to expect. But John and Stephen have nothing on her.” He said laughing as she shook his head.
Ava smiled and covered her mouth with her hand as she swallowed, “You’ve done an amazing job so far by the way. She’s the most well behaved, well mannered child I have ever seen.”
Justin looked fondly over at his daughter who was currently dumping a handful of balls over the little boy’s head, “Thank you.” He said as he turned back to Ava.
“So tell me about you.” He said as he grabbed his cup and took a drink, “I’m sure you know everything there is to know about me.”
Ava smiled and stuck a French fry in her mouth, “Well what do you want to know?”
“Where are you from? Are you from LA?”
“No. Not originally. I’m an Army Brat. I’ve moved all over this state and country. My dad was a retired Marine.”
“Did he pass away?”
Ava slowly shook her head, “Yeah, two years ago.”
“I’m sorry.”
Ava smiled, “No worries. It’s just me and my mom now. She lives in San Diego. She’s a Doctor there.”
“So the medical thing runs in your family.”
Ava smiled, “I guess you could say that.”
“Any brothers and sisters?”
“I have two older brothers.”
“How old are they?”
“30 and 33. I’m the baby. Their names are Cooper and Ryan. Coop is my oldest brother, and they’re both Marines as well.”
“Military have a long line in your family?”
“My dad traced it all the way back to the American Revolution. An immediate family member has participated in each war.”
Justin shook his head in amazement, “Wow.”
“That’s what I said.” She said as she took another bite of her hamburger.
Justin and Ava continued to get to know each other better and better by the minute. Justin realized how easy it was to talk with her and he was immediately glad that he took the initiative to become friends with her. It also helped a lot to know that Olivia liked her. He knew that Olivia needed some sort of female figure in her life. Sure Trace was bitchy enough to pass off as a woman, but he didn’t want to confuse his precious angel so early in her age. He also knew there were things that he couldn’t teach her that only a woman could. Like how to weasel money out of his pocket. Of course all Olivia had to do was look at him and bat her eyes and anything she wanted was hers.
Around six Justin slowly walked into his house with a sleeping Olivia in his arms. He kicked his shoes off at the door, and walked into his living room passing a picture of his wife on the mantle, “Hey baby.” He said to the picture as he slowly laid his daughter on the couch.
It pained him so much to know what all Melissa was missing out on. Olivia was everything that Melissa ever wanted.
He pushed some stray hair out of Olivia’s face, and kissed her softly on the cheek. He then walked back over to the mantle, “We’ve got a pretty good little girl, Mel. You’d be so proud. She’s getting so big. I don’t think I’m going to be able hold her anymore before long.” Justin said as he rubbed the frame of the picture with his thumb, and sighed.
“I miss you so much babe. It’s hard knowing that I’ve got fifteen more years to go raising this beautiful girl without you. She’s so lucky to not have to know this pain, but she knows that something’s missing.” He said as a stray tear rolled down his cheek.
He no longer felt that he didn’t need to hide his urges to cry. Sometimes it just felt better to let it happen than to fight it off. And over the past three years he’d done enough of it.
“God it hurts so much.” He said biting his lip as his body shook, “I wish I would have stopped you that night. I wish I could have gone in your place. God, if only things were different.” He said as he traced a finger along her cheek bone. “I’ve tried to hold on to everything I can of you. But it’s the little things, the things that I don’t want to forget, that are slowly fading. Your laugh, your voice, the way you feel. But your smell, god, it’s all over the place. And sometimes I find myself smiling your scent, and I start to think that when I turn the corner you’re going to be there. But I do, and you’re not. How do I this Mel?” He said
“Everyone says it’ll get easier. That maybe I’ll find someone different. But I don’t want it too. I don’t want to find anyone else. I know I need too, if not for me, at least for Olivia’s. How can I even attempt to give someone else my heart when sometimes I’m not sure if one is even there? You’ve got to help me baby. I know I’ve got to be the best father I can for Olivia, but sometimes it just to hard to by myself.”
He sighed, and ran his other hand through his hair, “I’ll figure it out. I always do.” He picked the frame up off it’s place on the mantle, and held it close to him.
For just one moment it felt as though she was there. He could feel her prescence so strong that he even turned around. He could feel his chest drop when he turned around to nothing but a cream colored wall. The tears came harder and faster that time and he felt as though he wanted to scream. It felt like that was the only way he could get all the frustration out, but he knew that he couldn’t. He had a sleeping daughter on the couch.
Blinded by the tears he pulled the picture up to his face, and softly placed a kiss on it, “I love you, always.”
Then he placed the picture up back in it’s spot on the mantle, and wiped his eyes. He looked over at Olivia and knew that it was only a matter of time before she woke up, and he knew he had to pull himself together. He walked up the stairs to his room and looked at himself in the mirror. The eyes looking back at him were not the eyes that everyone knew as Justin’s. These eyes were filled with pain, grief, and a personal struggle. Sometimes he felt so much older than what he really way. Shaking his head he turned on the water and splashed some over his face a few times before patting his face down with a towel he had hanging beside the counter.
He brought his hand back down and felt himself knock something off. It was a black tube of something and he bent down to get it. He bit his lip for some sort of hidden strength when he realized it was some of Melissa’s make up. Her side of the counter had gone untouched since the last time she used it. Her make up was still where she left it, along with pretty much everything else. Her side of the closet still had every piece of clothing hanging there. The last nightgown she wore was still hanging on the back of the closet door. The towel that she last used was still laying across the bathtub along with her shampoo and conditioner. Everything that was hers had gone untouched. Of course he allowed family and friends to take a momento to remember her by, but he absolutely refused anyone to help clear her things out.
To this day he couldn’t bring himself to do it.
He stood back up and placed the tube back on the counter, “Daddy?”
Justin’s head turned in the direction that the voice was coming from, “Hey sleepyhead.”
“Miss you.”
“You missed me? I’ve only been up here for a few minutes. You were sound asleep when we got home.”
“Me still miss you.” She said walking further into the bathroom extending her arms out insinuating she wanted to be picked up.
Justin smiled and picked her up, “Well I missed you too.” He said placing a kiss on her cheek, “I love you so much. You know that?”
“Yep. I lub you too.”
“Good.”
She leaned back a little bit and patted her tummy, “I hungry.”
Justin chuckled and rolled his eyes, “You’re always hungry. What do you want?” He asked as he walked out of his bathroom.
“Donalds!”
“We just had McDonalds. How about a bowl of cereal?” He asked as he walked through his room, and out the door to the stairs.
“Tay.”
“Alright a bowl of cereal it is.” He said as they continued their adventure to the kitchen.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Alright so after major headaches, and the showing back up of my muse, and a lot of help from my Silent Partner in Crime whom I give much credit too...I finally got past this writers block, slump thing that I'd been having going on. So this is kind of deep, and a little close to the heart. Tell me what you think.
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