Shifting in bed, Beth tried to find a comfortable spot.  The baby was doing its nightly acrobatics on her bladder.  “Sweetheart, would you please settle down, mommy is trying to sleep.”  Waiting patiently, she decided that since she was already awake, she might as well use the bathroom before trying to fall back asleep.  

Without turning on the bedroom light, she carefully made her way to the bathroom, flipping the light on as she entered.  After washing her hands, she headed back into the bedroom, turning the light off, but just as her hand flicked the switch, she caught something out of the corner of her eye.  

Turning the light back on, she screamed.  The figure that had been sitting in the chair in her bedroom stood and moved into the light cast from the bathroom.  Beth clutched her heart as she tried to calm down.

“What are you doing?  You can’t just come into someone’s bedroom like that in the middle of the night!”

“Not even if it’s my own bedroom?”  JC asked.

“Is it?  It hasn’t been for months now.”  She walked back to the bed and climbed under the covers, knowing she wasn’t going back to sleep right away after that fright.  “You made it faster than I thought you would.  What did Chris do, call you as soon as he left the house?”  Rubbing a hand over her distended belly, she tried to calm the baby down as well as herself.  

Chuckling uncomfortably, JC smoothed his hand over his tender jaw.  “Not exactly...Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why should I?”  She tried to find the most comfortable spot as JC stood over her, wanting to reach out and touch, but afraid to.  Releasing a deep breath she said, “JC, I can’t do this tonight.  I’m so tired and need to sleep.”

“Oh, right, sure, no problem.  We’ll talk in the morning.”  With a hand on the back neck of his t-shirt, he pulled it over his head and reached for his belt buckle. 

“What do you think you’re doing?”

Pausing before he undid the button on his pants, “Getting ready for bed, why?”

“Not in here you’re not.”

“Beth,” he breathed out in a sigh.

“No, JC, you’ve been gone for too many months, I don’t know you any more.  I can’t do this right now.”

In the dark, JC caught a hint of tears in her voice and it broke his heart.  “Alright, I’ll sleep in the guest room, but I want you to know I’m so sorry for not being here and I’m not leaving you again.”  Bending, he lightly pressed a kiss to her forehead, not letting himself touch her anywhere else, even though his entire being demanded it.  “I love you, Beth.”  Without another word, he exited the bedroom and headed alone to sleep down the hall. 

Pressing the heels of her hands to her eyes hoping to prevent the fall of tears, she tried to stifle the sobs threatening to burst out.  Not being able to, she twisted so she could sob into her pillow, not wanting JC to overhear, but little did she know he had paused just outside the door that he hadn’t bothered to close. 

He had done this to her, it was his fault that she had been alone during what they should have celebrated together and planned for.  Hesitating he tried to decide whether it would be better for her and the baby to leave her alone or to comfort her. 

“Be a man, JC, step up and take care of your wife.  She deserves so much better than you.”  After giving himself a little pep talk under his breath, he quietly made his way back to their bed.  Her sobs were shaking the bed so hard she never realized he had crawled into bed with her until he pulled her into his chest.  Weakly she tried to resist, but he was much stronger and much more determined.  With her fists, she pounded against his chest, trying to get out all of her frustration.  He took the beating silently, knowing he deserved to be whipped and left for dead.  Finally, her fists curled into the wife beater he was wearing and he was able to pull her flush against him as much as the baby would allow.    

In amazement, he jumped when he became aware that his baby was kicking, protesting being held so tightly.  He took one hand from behind her back and caressed the bump that was kicking him.  What a fool he had been, all for the sake of his pride. 

Moving his hand once again to her back, he cradled her gently as he murmured.  “I am so very truly sorry.  This is all my fault.  I am an idiot.  I love you more than life itself and I can’t believe that I let my pride stand in the way of us.”  JC wasn’t sure she was taking any of this in.  Alarm began to spread as he realized her sobs were not abating.  “Sweetheart, you need to calm down.  For the baby.  Please.”  He pleaded, but his words penetrated and made an impression and she tried consciously to settle down. 

With a shuddering breath, she fell limp and JC pulled back in fear, but she had simply fallen asleep in exhaustion.  In a beam of moonlight, he could see the puffiness of her eyes and the deep dark circles underneath.  He face was fuller due to the pregnancy and there were a few more lines on her face, caused by him.  His gaze traveled from her face down her body to rest on her distended stomach.  In awe, he was able to take his time and study his wife and child.  Again, his hand traveled to lightly rest against her belly and hope for movement.  As he began to stroke his baby lovingly, he shot a look at his wife’s face hoping he hadn’t disturbed her sleep.  Assuring himself he had not, he grew bolder and lifted her shirt higher so there was no barrier. 

His hand roamed over where his child grew, astonished that he had helped create this little person and yet never knew it.  What all had he missed while he threw his tantrum?  It was a long while later until his child fell quiet and he rolled onto his back, bringing Beth to carefully rest against his chest.  Not being able to resist, he again brought his hand to her stomach, knowing he couldn’t get enough.  Then with a long sigh of relief, he fell asleep. 

***

Cold, JC forced himself awake to search for the covers.  He noticed Beth had rolled away from him and wrapped the covers tightly around her body.  Instead of trying to maneuver a blanket away from her, he decided to get up and fix breakfast.  Beth had always been an early riser and he didn’t think that would have changed.  It was close enough to morning anyway and he needed all the positive actions he could get. 

Careful not to jostle the bed too much, he glanced one more time at his wife before heading downstairs to where he left his luggage.  Flinging his suitcase on the dining room table, he threw it open and grabbed the first pair of pants and shirt he found.  He dressed before heading into the kitchen.  On his way down the hall, he walked by the thermostat.  No wonder it was so cold in here, she had it set on 58 degrees.  What had he done to his wife?  Nudging it up to a more comfortable level, he shook his head in anger at himself as he resumed his journey to the kitchen. 

Opening the cupboards in search of pancake mix, he saw there was not much in the first.  So he opened the second and third – nothing.  The pantry held only a few cans and a loaf of bread.  The fridge held a few veggies and things but not what should be the typical diet of a pregnant woman. 

JC rubbed a hand over his eyes, still not believing he had caused this.  Noting the time, he decided that he had enough time to run to the grocery store and stock up with food before Beth awoke.  Grabbing his keys, he jogged out the door and to his car parking in the driveway, hoping to make this a quick trip.

***

Seconds after the door closed behind JC, Beth’s alarm sounded.  Groaning, she slapped the off button and rubbed the sleepiness out of her eyes.  A thought suddenly occurred to her – JC had been there last night.  Looking around though there was no evidence that he had been there.  Maybe it had been a dream.  JC hadn’t been there, she had merely been dreaming. 

Getting ready for work, Beth pushed all thoughts of JC aside.  She needed to focus.  Dressed now, she wanted to grab some breakfast to eat on her way.  When she walked through the dining room entrance, she froze in her tracks.  The suitcase on the table meant he had actually been here. 

Where was he now?  The house was silent and there was no extra car in the driveway either.  What did it mean?  The clock chimed and startled her out of her trance.  Now she was running late.  Hopefully they wouldn’t hold it against her. 

***

JC winced as the door slammed against the wall.  His hands were full and he couldn’t stop it.  He paused for a moment to see if Beth was awake or if he had disturbed her.  It was all quiet. 

He quickly and quietly prepared breakfast.  While he was shopping, he pulled up a list of foods on his phone that would be the beneficial for both mom and baby so he had spent longer at the store than he had anticipated.  He was shocked that Beth wasn’t up yet.  He plated up breakfast and placed it on a tray that he had ready with roses he had just purchased. 

Taking the stairs two at a time, he peered into the dimly lit bedroom.  The bed was made and there was no sign of his wife.  The bathroom was dark as well.  Where was she? 

He rushed through the rest of the house – no Beth.  Could she have left him?