We walked for three hours before the sky grew from a dull white, back into a dark grey color.  The wind blew as hard as it ever had since we crashed, and then the snow started to fall, thick, and heavy from the sky.  All too soon, I couldn’t see a damn thing in front of my face.  When I turned back to Justin, I saw that he had stopped a few feet from me, his arms crossed to himself protectively as he glanced around, trying to make out something, if anything, in the distance.

And I didn’t want to stop . I wanted to keep going, because I’d been trained on how to find my sense of direction in hazardous conditions.  I stood there, what seemed like forever, and debated if it was a smart move to keep going.  But I knew he wouldn’t last.  He was a civilian, and had never tried to trudge through a wild blizzard before.  The more I forced him to push his body to the limit, the more I knew how bad of a condition he would be in later...when it really mattered.  It forced me to cave in, and seek refuge in some pine trees.  It was too dangerous to put the tent out.  The wind was blowing too hard and could have carried it away.  There are only a few things I consider absolutely vital to us, and that tent is one of them.  It has a thermal layer between the exterior and interior, that’s guaranteed to keep the heat inside.

We need it, so badly, and I won’t lose it, come hell or high water.

“Can we set up the tent?”

He won’t look at me when he says it, but I know why.  Our blowout earlier gave him another wake up call, and I guess...I shouldn’t have lost my composure like that.  I shouldn’t have gotten so personal, either, told him about Kenz, but I just couldn’t help myself.  He was acting selfish and spoiled, by my standards, treating a personal appliance like it was more important than anything else I worked so hard to pack.  I mean, I had to sacrifice almost all of my luggage to make room for the vitals.  My research books and notes that I’d been using to understand Kenz’s disease better were tossed away, to make room for water, food, blankets, and other survival supplies.  I took more weight on than Justin, because I knew his energy would get sucked out of him faster.  Of course, if I make it back home, it’s going to be hell reconstructing all of the notes again, but at least I’ll be alive...home with my daughter, and that’s all I care about right now.

If Kenz passed, I know it would be hard as hell, but I could live with it, eventually, as long as I was able to be with her during her last moments.

If I miss those...

If I miss those, if I’m too late, I know I’ll never come back from that pain.

“Fiona, can we please set up the tent?”

I look at him.  His teeth are chattering, and his face is turning that pale color again.  His core temp is dropping now, despite his layers, but that was bound to happen.  The sky is turning from grey to black, and I know nightfall is upon us.  It makes sense.  We’ve been sitting here a good seven hours, waiting for the worst of the storm to pass.  That means the temperature is dropping way down, and we need a better source of shelter if we’re going to last until morning.  He needs to eat something too, has get some more fluids in his system, and hell, I know I do too.  My teeth aren’t chattering, not yet, because I know how to contain myself, but I can feel the chills running up and down my spine.  I’m not doing so well either, my temp is dropping rapidly.  I also have to build a fire, which I know I can pull off if the wind doesn’t start acting up again.  “Fine.” I say, and pull a chocolate bar out of my bag, breaking it in half before handing some to him.  “Eat this in the meantime.”

He only glances at me slightly before he takes it, and miserably bites a chunk off.  

I go to work, unstrapping the tent from the top of my bag and loosening the straps that are holding it closed.  Thankfully, it’s a non assembly type.  I just have to pull it loose, and it springs up into place, which relieves me.  I make sure to secure it into the ground with the provided anchors, stepping on them roughly, driving them as deep into the snowy ground as possible.  I pray it’s enough.  I pray the thing doesn’t get ripped up during the night, when the wind will be stronger.

“Are...are you sure it’s out in the open enough?” I hear him croak out from behind me.  “Can...can they see it?”

I sigh.  “It’s visible, Justin, but the weather conditions are very poor.  I doubt they could fly tonight.”

“You said that yesterday.”

“I know.”

He’s silent.

Okay so maybe I feel a little bad for the guy.  He’s trying, and sometimes his ego gets in the way, but really...did I expect more from him?  No.  He’s not used to this.  He wasn’t in the military, and I need to remember that.  He’s not a cowardly solider fresh out of boot camp, he’s just a guy.  A very young, very rich, completely terrified guy, that I’m in charge of keeping safe and getting home again.  I have to try harder, be a little bit more understanding...see things from his perspective.

But that’s not really in my blood.

One thing I’ll always regret, I think, is being too strict with Michael.  He was always so easy going, no matter the situation, and tried to get me to be that way too.  But I could never just...kick back and relax with him.  I was always going and doing, and he was always the one who had to catch me mid step, pull me back to him and kiss me harshly on the lips to remind me how much he loved me.

If I could have him back, I would try so hard to...just be a little bit more compassionate.  But it’s too late now.

I miss him.  

I don’t think about him enough, but I guess right now...my mind is getting a chance to stretch itself after so many months of worrying about Kenz, and the bills, and everything else.

My heart starts to ache when I remember the way he would laugh as he held me in his arms, and immediately, I tuck that...the memory of him, deep back inside of me.  “Can you look around where you’re sitting, Justin?” I call out to him after a moment.  “We need a few branches.”

He does it without another word for several minutes.  “Here’s some.”

I take them from him, and nod.  “Bring your bag inside, and get out some blankets.  Sit and wrap them around yourself, and I want you to drink a bottle of water too.  When I get this fire going, we’ll have a hot meal.”

“Should I...help you?”

I shake my head.  “Just do what I say.”

He nods, and then, he trudges away.

I think he’s starting to get it, really understand what it takes to survive, and God willing, he’ll stop complaining after today.

I pull up my pant leg and check on my ankle when I’m sure he’s out of sight.  It’s swollen of course, but not as bad as it would have been without the splint. Naturally, the pain has been with me all day long, and it hurts so bad, but I’ve been sucking it up for him, because I’m strong and resilient.  There is pine everywhere, and I know I can make a quick serum out of the needles later on, that will soothe some of the pain...enough where I’ll be able to sleep, and that’s all I can really ask for at this point.  Tomorrow, I’ll find a thick limb and make a walking stick for support, and tonight...tonight I’ll get that map out after Justin has fallen asleep.  I’ll try to figure out where we are, and how far away that is from the nearest ranger camp.  

I’m hoping it’s close, that we can walk it in the three days we’ll have before our food supply completely runs out.  Really, the human body can go three weeks without food, but that doesn’t mean a thing when you’re in a desperate situation like this.  Without food, your energy runs low, and sure, you can survive for all those weeks if you stay in one place.

But in these conditions, we can’t afford to stay in one place.  The storms are too bad, it’s freezing, and I know that the wildlife in these mountains isn’t exactly the friendliest.  This afternoon, I saw some animal feces near some trees we were scoping out for shelter, and from the size of the load...I know it could have been from a bear.  That means we can’t stop, because if it finds us...I know our chances of getting away from it unharmed are minimal.

Walking is our best chance, but I won’t tell Justin.  I know the thought of trudging a couple of hundred miles to salvation will tire him out completely, and I won’t have it, because we can’t afford it.  I’ll just push through it, tell him that walking will make us easier to see or some load of crap like that.  He’ll believe it too, because he trusts me, relies on me...as much as he tries to pretend that he doesn’t.

I work feverishly to build the fire with my flint stones and swiss army knife.  The wind works against me for a long time, burning out the slightest traces of a spark.  I start to lose hope, think about saving my energy and treating Justin and I to a simple beef jerky dinner instead, even though the thought of those baked beans in my pack has been making my mouth water all day.  Then, the wind seems to settle for a few moments, and I quickly start in again, sparking my flints and working my knife.  A spark comes, lighting the dry pine needles and branches, then another.

Then a blaze, and I fall down on the ground, just watching it as it grows as a single tear floats down my cheek.

“Thank you,” I whisper, with my eyes closed.  “Thank you.”

It’s times like these, in my most desperate predicaments that I feel it...

Michael is with me.

“Hey, you did it!”

I sniffle quickly and make sure the any evidence of emotion is gone from my face so I can turn and look at him.  He’s standing just outside the tent with a couple of blankets draped over his shoulders, smiling like he’s never seen anything so wonderful before.  Yeah, I guess I did a good thing.  A great thing, that will bring him some comfort, if only for tonight.  “Come sit,” I tell him.  

He does it automatically, practically in tears as he reaches the fire and sits down next to it, letting it warm his face and body.  “This is so...this is so great, Fiona.”

I just nod.  “I’m going to heat up some beans for us.  I have some more crackers and we can have tea too.”

“Sounds good.”

He’s upbeat.  A lot more hopeful than before, and that’s great for him.  I need him to be this way, believe that there is a solution to everything.  That way, problem solving will become a hell of a lot easier.  I pull together our dinner out of my pack, and make sure to pull my care kit out too, so I can work on his head wound.  It’s healing okay, for the most part, but I know how quickly something like that can become infected without the proper care.    I peel back metal cover on the can, and dump the contents inside of the small metal pot I brought with me, setting it on top of a small folding rack out of my care kit, that will hold it over the fire.  It’s done within minutes, and I ration the beans evenly between us, along with one package of crackers for each of us, and a bottle of water each.  Tomorrow night we’ll have to share one.  We’re not exactly running low on water, but I don’t want to start taking the quantity we have for granted, in case something bad happens.  “I’ll make the tea after we finish.  You should break up those crackers into your beans.  It will make it heartier.”

He nods, but doesn’t say anything else once he has the bowl in his hands.  He takes his crackers out of the wrapper and does what I’ve suggested, before beginning to shovel the food in his face, eagerly.  I feel a twinge pierce my stomach.  I know how hungry he must be.  Hungrier than I am because I know how to handle small bits of food, but he doesn’t.  Again, I need to be a little more compassionate, and I think about all the ways I can start to be as I begin to eat my own dinner.

“Sho..wur’d you learn all that?”r32;

He says it, his mouth stuffed with food, and I slowly meet his gaze.  “What?”

He swallows, smirks a little, and wipes his mouth with his sleeve.  “You know...how to make a fire like that.”

“Oh...boot camp.”

“Really?”  He takes a moment to guzzle some of his water.  “You were like...GI Jane or something?”

I laugh.  “Not quite.”

He shrugs.  “Well, you know your shit, that’s for sure.  You’re saving our asses, Fiona.”

“It’s my job.  Are you finished with your food?”

He stares into my eyes for another few moments, like he’s questioning me, trying to figure out if I really hate him or not.  “Just about.”

“Scrape your plate clean.  You need every bit of that, Justin.”

He does it, silently, even licks his bowl clean, but it’s what I want him to do.  

“Thanks.”  He whispers, when he finishes, and hands me the bowl back.

I nod, take it, and put it down next to me.  “Give me a minute to finish my food, and I’ll put the tea on.”

“Sure.”

“Here.”  I neglect my food for a moment, and reach across, pull his blankets tighter around his shoulders.  “Keep them that way.”

He nods, and draws them closer to himself before gazing into the fire.

Finally, at peace, after a very trying day.  I down my food, savoring every last bite, thanking Michael silently, for bringing me the fire tonight, and asking him to help me with all the ones I’ll need to build in the coming days.  

Funny, when he was alive, I didn’t rely on him nearly this much.  Maybe it’s why he felt compelled to make all those missions, go overseas on volunteer retreats, because I made him feel like I could handle everything by myself.

I guess...I must have pushed him away, more than anything else.

After all, our marriage was in trouble right before he left.  If nothing happened to him, if he came home safe to us, I really don’t know if we would still be together.

But at least he’d be alive.
**********
All right, I’m a jerk.  But I’m scared, and I hate being scared in front of a stranger.  I’m way too private for that.  I trained myself, years ago, to be bold in front of people like her, to be strong.  Right now, I’m caving in, showing her how much I really do need her.  I wish Trace was here, so I could feel a little bit more like myself.  But he’s not here, and fuck, I shouldn’t wish this on him anyway.  He’s warm and safe up at the cabin with his girl, and by now, he’s probably wonder what the hell happened to me, and if I’m even alive at this point.

But I am alive.

I’m alive, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to die here in the mountains with a strange, GI Jane type by my side.

“Here, maybe this will help you sleep better tonight.”

She tosses me an emergency weather radio, and I catch it, making sure to give her a thankful smile.  “You’re a lifesaver.”

“It just needs one or two cranks, and it should last the night.”

I do it quickly, eager to hear something else besides the wind howling.  I hear static soon enough, and smile, as I begin to tune out a station.  Of course it’s hard.  We’re in the middle of nowhere, but soon enough I hear a faint voice, and I pause, tweaking the dial slightly from left to right, and then it’s clear.  But it’s not music, it’s news.  More crap about the economy, death and destruction.  “I might as well turn it off.”

“At least it’s something.”  She encourages me, as she takes another sip of her tea.  I finished mine a while ago, don’t savor things as much as she does, and I guess I should start.  She hasn’t complained though, and I know she expects that kind of thing from me.  Fuck, I was so hungry...I just couldn’t help but devour all my food, and the tea warmed me up so much I practically drank it in one gulp.  I asked for another cup of course, but Fiona told me we couldn’t afford it.  Since she started the fire, I’ve learned that she’s a lot more than just some stupid flight attendant, and I need to treat her that way.

I can’t complain anymore, if possible, and that’s why I didn’t complain about the tea.

Maybe tomorrow night I’ll eat and drink a little slower.  Try to make it last longer so it will bring me comfort as well as nourishment.

Tomorrow night...

I guess I already know help isn’t going to come before then.

“Some breaking news just in...it was reported to us just moments ago that renowned pop superstar Justin Timberlake went missing in the Colorado Rockies as early as yesterday evening, due to a downed jet.  The wreckage showed up on military radar early this morning, according to sources, but the cause of the crash is not known at this time.  Authorities tell us air recovery operations and foot search parties have been compiled to arrive at the scene of the newly located wreckage, but storms in the area have been preventing any type of search from getting underway.  The Grammy award winning artist was believed to be headed to Vail, Colorado for a weekend getaway.  Only the flight crew and himself are known to have been on board.  We will update you with up to the minute details, of course, as they come in...”

I stare at the radio for a few moments as a series of commercials begin to play, not being able to believe I just heard it all.  My name, wreckage, and search party were just used in the same sentence...fucking weird.  But it means...it means they know we’re down, and from the sound of it, they’ve already spotted the wreck and are trying to get to us.  “They’re trying to get to us!” I tell her, excitedly.  “They know where we are!”

“That’s the news,” she sighs.  “You can’t believe everything...”r32;

“But there’s a search party!”

“Justin, they tell the media differently so they wont’ start a panic, but I know how search and rescue teams operate.  They probably think we all died in that wreck.”

I look at the ground, and lick my lips.  They’re dry and chapped.  “You can’t believe that.”

“It’s the truth.  It was really bad, Justin.  We’re lucky we made it out alive.”

“But...but they’ll have to realize that we aren’t there.”

“I know that, but they have to get to the scene, first.  It’s going to take some time.  You can’t get excited yet.  We still have to keep moving.”

“We can’t go anywhere,” I tell her, desperately.  “They’ll never find us.”

“Would you rather have a bear or a pack of wolves find us first?”

I bit my bottom lip, trying so hard to hold back the sobs that are trying to force themselves out.  Damn it, I don’t want to be emotional.  I’m never like this.  I can’t even remember the last time I cried, but right now...right now I’m so scared that I know it won’t take much more to make me hysterical.  “I just want to go home, Fiona.”

“I know you do, and I do too, but staying put and letting the animals know we’re here isn’t any better, Justin.  I need you to be with me on this...just follow my lead, and we’ll make it, we’ll get home, I promise.”

“How can you promise me that?  You don’t even know...where we are...”

“I can figure out where we are,” she tells me, seriously.  “I know how.”

I rub my face with my hands, and immediately it all starts to hit me.  My mom.  My mom must be having a cardiac arrest.  She must be on a flight to Vail right now, on her way to Trace, who probably told her to stay put.  She never would, though.  She’ll do what she has do to get to me.  Trace’s mom probably came up as well, to make sure her best friend won’t start flipping out on the search and rescue people.

I hope they can hold it all together, keep believing I’m alive...but I know the minute they realize there isn’t a body...none of them will let the search and rescue people stop trying to find us.  

“Have some.”

I look up and find that she’s trying to pass me a bottle of brandy.  The cap is off, which means she already had some, but I know...I can’t.  Jesus, my therapist would flip a shit if she ever knew.  “I...I don’t drink,” I say it, and my voice sounds shaken, and weak.  I’m more terrified now that I was before, and I guess I shouldn’t have listened to the radio after all.

“It will keep your core temperature where it needs to be over night.  You have to.”

She screws the cap back on and tosses it in my lap.

“I told you that I can’t.”

She sighs.  “I understand that you’re...a recovering alcoholic.  I read the tabloids in line at the grocery store just like anybody else.  But right now, you have to do this, Justin.  I’m sorry.  It’s only going to help keep you alive.”

I actually whimper this time as I pick it up, not believing that I’ve stayed off the shit for so long, only to have it come down to this.  I got off of it to keep myself from dying, and now...I have to get back on it to make sure I don’t.  “This is fucking crazy.”

“Just do it.  A couple of sips, and then I’ll hide it so you can’t go looking for it again tonight.”

I finally listen after a couple more minutes of serious debate with myself.  The bottle touches my lips and I’m reminded of so much, and when the liquor collides with my taste buds, I remember even more.  Telling my mom to fuck off, that I hated her, telling my best friend he was a worthless piece of shit, pushing my cousin to the ground...treating Jess like shit every single day...nearly being disowned by them all.  I swallow the liquid, feel it burning as it goes down my throat, hearing that little voice inside thanking me for bringing it some comfort...that I need to have some more.

I throw the bottle back at her.  “No more.” I sobbing now.  “I can’t do it again.”

She sighs heavily, and after a moment, I feel her beside me, giving me a comforting rub on the back.  “You’re okay.”

I shake my head roughly and rub my face with my hands.  “You don’t understand...the things...I did to people....I made promises...”

“I’ll only make you have more if it’s absolutely necessary, okay?”

“Make sure I can’t find it.”

“I will.”

When I look up again she’s not at my side anymore, she’s taken her old spot by the fire, and the bottle has vanished.  She kept her word.  “I...today,” I sigh harshly.  “I was a jerk, earlier.  I’m sorry.”

“More like an asshole,” she chuckles.  “But I guess I can forgive you.”

“If I knew about your kid...”

“Don’t.”  She looks down, picks up a thicker branch and begins to poke it around in the fire.  “It’s really...not something we should be talking about.”

I nod slightly.  I really do...still feel like shit.  If there was anything I could do, I would do it for her, because she deserves it.  I’ve realized she’s not such a bad person, now that I’ve been sitting here with her for all this time. Outside of this, at home, I bet she’s real cool, somebody I’d like to spend my time with.  She’s not effected by much, and neither am I, under normal circumstances.  “Whatever you need...once we’re home, I’ll make sure you get it, Fiona.”

She shakes her head.  “It’s not your responsibility.  I’ll take my normal tip, and that’s all.”

“Do you really think I’m going to let you do that...now?”

She shrugs.  “I can handle it.  The hospital will work with me on the payment as long as I have something.”

“But I want to...”r32;
“Justin!”

I stare at her.

“I don’t need someone like you to rescue me, okay? Just...forget it.”  

“I’m not trying to rescue you,” I scoff.  “Your kid is dying.”

“She’s not dying! Fuck!”  She jumps to her feet, and starts to breath heavily.

All I can do is stare.

“She’s...she’s not dying.  She’s just sick, and...she needs a heart, that’s all.”

I know I’ve hit a rough spot.  It’s something her doctors have probably tried to tell her, lovingly, for as long as her daughter has been sick.  She won’t accept it though.  She probably thinks there’s always something else, just one more thing, that can get her daughter through, keep her alive.

But I know how bad it’s gotten.  I can tell, just by the way she’s acting.  

“Fiona...”

“I’m not talking about it anymore...God, I wish I never said anything at all, but you were being so damn impossible that I didn’t have a choice.”

“I told you I was sorry.”

“I know that,” she mutters, and begins to gather up all of the cooking material and food containers.  “It’s fine, Justin.  Forget about it.”

“Look...I...”

“Justin, I’m not here to be your friend,” she snaps, before I can finish.  “The captain is dead, so that passes the leadership onto me, and it’s my responsibility to make sure you get to safety.  That’s all.  There’s no...bond...there’s nothing else to say.  I have my issues, and you have yours.  Lets leave it at that, and keep this professional.”

“I don’t get how you can expect that, when it’s just us out here.  What, is that some kind of flight attendant law?”  He rolled his eyes. “You can’t be friends with someone else?”
 
“I choose not to be.”

“That makes sense.” I cross my arms, and watch her as she gathers the last of the supplies, and begins to throw snow on our fire to put it out. “I might as well do this on my own then.”

“Do you think you can survive on your own?” She questions, her eyes wide.  “Be my guest.  I guarantee you can’t even figure out which way is north.  You wouldn’t survive a day without my help.”

“I didn’t say I could do it on my own,” I snap at her.  “I wouldn’t want to.  But you’re doing your best to push me away right now.  There’s no reason for it.”

“I have plenty of reasons.”  

The last flame sputters out, and she buries the branch pile in a heap of snow, before holding her hand out to me.  “Let’s get inside.”

I take it, and let her help me up.  We walk over to the tent, and get inside of it.  She lets me keep the radio, tells me to keep it on so I can be comforted as I fall asleep.  News, normally, is something I try to avoid, because it causes so much havoc in my life, but right now, hearing about the rest of the world is making me feel a little bit better.

It tells me that I’m not completely alone, despite how horrible this whole thing is.

“Here, lay down, and I’ll bundle you up for the night.”

She’s giving me a comforting, professional smile, and I know she’s putting our little argument, and her daughter, to the back of her mind so I’ll be calm.  That’s all she wants, what she knows I need, and it’s so damn selfless.  

I wish I could be more like that.

Maybe, if I make it out of this alive, I will be, too.

I lay down for her, and just like the night before, she piles blankets on top of me, and tells me to close my eyes as she tucks them around my body.  She settles the radio by my head after she's done, and keeps it low enough where I can still hear it, but won’t be disturbed in my sleep.  

“Here.”  She has me take a few sips of water.  “If you have to pee, just go in your clothes.  It will help your body heat, anyway.”

It’s gross, but I know she has a point.  “Thanks.”

“Goodnight, Justin.”

“Night.”

She turns her back to me, and goes to get herself settled for the night.  I watch her for awhile, partially keeping my attention on the radio in case of an update, but one doesn’t come.  They keep repeating the same story we heard during dinner, and i do my best to tune it out.  She glances back at me from time to time, probably to see if I’ve fallen asleep.

I know she’s doing it, because she has plans after I’ve gone to sleep.  There’s still things she isn’t telling me, that she wants to keep from me.  I know it’s for my sanity too, but I wish she would keep me in the loop.  I might be able to help, give my input, even if she doesn’t think it will make a difference.

So I decide to fake it, and try to find out what she’s up to.

It takes a long time.  I can still feel her eyes on me even though mine are closed, and I do my best to breath deeply and evenly, to trick her into my plot.  Soon enough, I hear the crinkling of paper, and I know she’s finally bought it.  My eyes open a crack, but I don’t make a sound.  She’s sitting there with a large map spread out on her lap, holding a flashlight up so she can see it.  It has to be a map of the area, and now I get what she said about knowing how to find out where we are.  She’s drawing lots of lines with a pencil, shaking her head from time to time, and erasing.

She’s trying to make a route, and that means she’s going to want us to walk...how far, I don’t know.

But I don’t like it.  The farther we walk the harder it will be for them to find us, and the thought of the emergency hand link pops into my brain again.

Is it broken or not?

I get my answer soon enough.  She silently slips something out of her pack.  It’s a handheld radio, a red one, which means it has to be the emergency hand link.

And it’s snapped in half.

Damn it.

That’s it.

I sit up, and she gasps when she sees me.  I caught her off guard, and she knows it.  “So when were you going to tell me about that?”

She narrows her eyes at me.  “Go to bed.”

“No,” I say it gruffly.  “You should have told me.”

“What difference does it make?”  She drops it down onto her blankets.  “It’s broken...smashed...now you know! Now you’re probably going to panic, which was exactly why I didn’t tell you, okay?  Just forget about it...I’m trying to see if I can fix it.  I did some military engineering while I was in basic training.”

“Maybe you should have told me before.”  I yank my broken cell phone out of the inner lining of my North Face, and toss it at her.  “I could have given you that...maybe you can use it for parts or something.”

She stares at it, and I know...it’s made some kind of difference, even if it’s small.  “Thanks.”

“Yeah.”

“I just don’t want you panicking, Justin.”

“I’m beyond that, don’t you think?”

She shrugs.  “I don’t know what to think.  I’m just trying to get you home.”

I sigh.  “If we don’t start working together, Fiona, we’re not going to get anywhere.”

She doesn’t say anything else to me, so I decide to lay down, and pass out for real.

Just before my eyes close I think I can hear her weeping, but then again, there are tears on my face too.

I drift off that way, crying myself to sleep, but I’m thankful for it.

Just thankful to be alive.