My stomach hurts.  The kind of hurt where I’m all tight and bound up inside.

I know what I need to do.

My eyes drift open, and I rub my face harshly once I remove them from underneath the blankets.  Then, I sit up.  I have a lot of energy right now, and that’s thanks to her...thanks to the fire she built last night and the decent meal we had.  My eyes float to her.  She’s fast asleep, hopefully dreaming about some place warm and safe, instead of this fuckin’ wasteland.

I need to go to the bathroom, but I won’t wake her.

She deserves sleep, because I know she didn’t turn in for hours after I passed out for real.  My eavesdropping couldn’t have helped things, and to be honest, I wish I never found out about the radio.  It’s made me more tense, desperate, and I guess I feel foolish now.  Fiona was hiding the truth from me to protect me, but I just couldn’t handle that.  I had to know everything.

I’m paying for it now, of course, and I’ve decided to stop asking her questions...just let her do her thing, because she’s gotten me so much farther than I would have gotten on my own.

I’d be dead right now, if it wasn’t for her.

Slowly and silently, I pull the blankets off of myself, and get up from the floor of the tent, carefully tiptoeing around her so I can go outside.  It’s not so bad this morning.  The wind is still blowing, but the snow has calmed to a faint drizzle.  It could be a lull in the storm, or the it may have passed.  I pray the answer is number two, that the search and rescue team will be able to get underway today.  When I get back to the tent, I’ll listen to the news and see if there are any updates.

I want to go home.

I don’t know how much longer I can do this.

I find a good spot, between the side of a mountain, and a few trees, and I slowly remove my snowsuit and  my thermal bottoms.  It’s fucking freezing, and I feel like my shit is going to freeze midway to the ground as I squat down.  It’s disgusting, I feel like a caveman or something, but hell, I gotta go.

Then it happens, mid squat.  A huge explosion echos in the distance, and I fall over, my ass and thighs immediately beginning to burn because of the freezing cold snow I’ve landed in.  I try to scramble to my feet but I keep tripping over my thermals and the snowsuit that is down around my ankles, falling back into the snow.

My teeth start to chatter.  Fuck.

I know this can only mean one thing.   

The jet has finally succumbed to the elements, and the gas has pushed it’s way out of the tank.  Now, our wreck sight is officially destroyed, Joe’s body too, and I take a minute, squeeze my eyes shut as I think about his wife and kids.  They were married a long time, and he has three girls in college.

I feel like it’s my fault...but I can’t...I can’t dwell on it right now.

There will be time for that later.  Right now, I have to get up, out of this snow before I get hypothermia or something.  

But it’s too late for that.

The ground beneath me starts to rumble, and when I look up, I’m just in time to see it all falling down the mountain..massive amounts of snow.

An avalanche.  The explosion caused it, and now it’s headed straight for me.  I scramble, try to get out of the way, but my feet keep slipping, my pants keep tripping me up around the ankles, and I can’t do it in time.

Then I’m surrounded, completely, in a white, icy world.  It takes me a few seconds to comprehend it, catch my breath, and shove a big mound of snow off of my chest.  Thank God I didn’t get knocked out, but it doesn’t matter.

I’m buried, and when I start to push up, I find that it’s useless.  There’s so much snow, I’m packed right into the ground.

Holy Christ.

“Fiona!” I scream it, but my voice seems to bounce right back against me.

She can’t hear me.  She’s fast asleep, and I’m buried under too much snow.

I’m as good as dead, and I will be...very soon.  The air in here isn’t going to last.  I’m enclosed in a very small space that I can’t dig my way out of.  The minute I start clawing at the snow surrounding me, more of it starts to cave in.  If I push any more...I know I’m done for.

I’m trapped.

Trapped when the storm has finally cleared, when the helicopters could possibly fly right over us today.

I was so close.

One massive dump is costing me everything.  Jesus.  It would be a lot more hilarious if it wasn’t such a desperate situation.  Still, I find that I can’t contain my laughter, because it’s just so uncanny.  It’s a crazy, insane laugh, and I know I’m losing it.

Then my body starts to tremble, because I’m still half naked, and I know that I’m losing more than just my sanity.

I could be dead within hours and Fiona will never know unless she wakes up.

The first tears glide down my face, and I start to think about every significant thing that’s ever happened to me, embracing those moments so tightly to me, because they’re all I have and all I want to remember before I die.

My eyes close, and I fall into a deep, desperate sleep, hoping I’ll pass away just like this, at peace, and without pain.

“Justin!”

My eyes snap open, and I don’t know how long it’s been, but the light in here is a little brighter now, and I feel a slight breeze above me.  I look up, and I can see a crack of sunlight at the top of the mound I’ve been buried under.  Somebody has been digging to get to me.

Fiona.

r32;“Hey! I’m down here!” I yell and it sounds horrible, sick, and weak.  I cough harshly, can’t stop for several minutes.

I’ve been asleep for too long, and I know how much my body temp must have dropped.

I’m getting sick, and I know that’s not a good thing.  I do my best to try and get my thermals up all the way around my legs and ass, but it’s hard to move.  My legs are trapped under another mound of snow, that if I try to clear, I’ll be a goner.  It’s caused the entire bottom half of my body to go numb...

Frostbite, in its infancy.

How much worse can this whole thing get?

A lot worse.

“Are you okay? Can you move?”

“I’m okay, just really cold.  But if I try to move, the snow will cave in on me!”

More snow clears away from up above and then I see her come into view...Fiona.  The light behind her makes her look eerily angelic, and it’s the very first time I’ve ever focused on her features.  Brown hair that’s long, and messy of course, but not in a ratty way.  The elements have made the end of her pony tail curl up, making it playful and bouncy.  She has these eyes too...kind, gentle ones that offset her rough personality.  The color of them is this crazy mixture of hazel and brown that makes them impossible to avoid.  Their beauty is the kind you can get lost in, and then...when she smiles, she turns into this breathtaking, beautiful woman...

I shouldn’t be thinking this way.  Maybe I’m just delirious.

But I can’t stop myself from smiling, just a little.

“It’ll take a...a while,” she says, trying to keep her voice calm, and composed for me.

I know how bad this must look from her point of view.

“Please don’t let me die,” I whimper.  “Fiona...please...”

“Just try to stay calm, okay?” She says it gently, that motherly compassion taking over her expression briefly before she turns serious again.

I just nod.

”There’s a lot of snow...but I’ll dig through what I can and then I’ll toss the rope down and try to get you out.  Don’t fall asleep, all right?  Your lips are all blue, Justin...God, why couldn’t you just wait for me?”

I let out a sad little laugh.  “I had to take a dump.”r32;

“Seriously? You’re joking around?”

I shrug.  “Why not?”

She’s silent.  “Don’t move, I’m going to dig some more.”

I listen, and stare up through the hole as it gets wider and wider.  I don’t know how she’s doing it, but she’s certainly making a lot of progress, clearing the snow just the right way so none of it will cave in on me.  Once again, she’s the reason I’m not dead.

I seriously have to repay this girl if we make it home.

“Drink this!”

She tosses it down to me.

The brandy.

Fucking, Christ.  “Fiona...”

“Damn it Justin.” Her face pops back into the hole, and I find that her cheeks are all red.  She’s out of breath too. “We can’t afford to do this right now.  It’s necessary, so just...suck it up and drink.”

I know she’s right.  My life is at stake right now, so I just reach out with my gloved hand and take the bottle, twist the cap off, and take several gulps of the liquor.  Immediately, I start to feel that warm sensation rushing through me, and the feeling in my legs starts to come back a little bit.

If I make it home, and don’t turn back into a raging alcoholic, it’ll be a damn miracle.

“I think you might be able to crawl out,” she calls down to me after digging for a while more.  “Start slowly, and I’ll try to pull you up the best that I can.”

The rope drops down, and lands in my lap.  I stare at it, knowing that I’m going to have to do most of the work.  While Fiona is strong, I know she can’t haul me out of this hole all by herself.  I start to shift my legs around, and wince when some snow starts to fall in through the hole, but Fiona isn’t phased.  She must have cleared enough out of the way to allow me to move around, and so, I push harder, and eventually, I free my legs.  They’re freezing still, but the brandy has allowed the blood to keep circulating.  I know, if I try my very hardest, I can get out of this.  So I do my best to pull my thermals and snow suit up, and then I clutch the rope and start to grip the sides of the hole with my boots.  I hear her grunting and groaning as she tries to support my weight, and it takes hours.  I fall down to the bottom several times, and we have to stop a lot too so I can catch my breath after a fit of coughs and wheezes.  Then...then when I feel like the situation is completely hopeless, I get another surge of adrenaline, and I reach the top portion of the hole several minutes later.  I can see a little bit of the outside world again.  The breeze sweeps across my face, and it’s the best thing I’ve ever felt, despite that the skin on my face is raw and chafed after spending hours trapped in a snow mound.

“Take my hand.” She lays chest side down and leans her upper body down into the hole, reaching down for me.

I grab onto it, feeling the tears on my face now, and squeeze it for comfort.  “I don’t know...” I pause and have to cough some more.  “I don’t know if you can pull me up.”

“I’ll pull you up, Justin.  I promise.”

The look of determination in her eyes is so intense, that I can’t say anything else.  She’s not giving up, that’s obvious, and I have to believe in her, if I want to live another day.  I grit my teeth and push upward as she pulls me in the same direction.  She groans, and even screams a little, as she pulls me up with all of her strength.

I flop over the top of the hole suddenly, and I know it’s a fucking miracle.  She quickly pulls me out of harms way, back on top of the solid, frozen earth again.  I lay there what seems like forever, coughing harshly, gasping for a breath as I gaze up at the dull sky, letting the snow fall down onto my face.

I’m alive.

I’m alive, but I know, my body has seriously started to deteriorate.  That was too much for me to take, after everything else.

If I don’t get help, warm shelter and real food soon...I know I’m not going to last.  I’m weaker, so much weaker than her.  

I’m not cut out for this, and that’s so scary, but...but I if I have to die here, I feel comforted knowing that it will be by Fiona’s side.

She’s my salvation now.  My everything.

“Justin?”

She’s there, right there, looming above me, smiling softly because she knows we did it.

For the first time, we really worked together, and achieved the impossible.

She grips my hand and I hold it tightly, lacing my gloved fingers through hers.

I start to cry too, because I realize I don’t ever want to let her go.

Even if we make it home.