Nightfall.  Our third one since we crashed.  I shoved a chocolate bar in my face along with some beef jerkey, and made sure Justin got some food in his system too, despite how horrible he felt.  Still, it’s important that his body got that nourishment.  Without energy, I know, something devastating could happen to him.

And he doesn’t deserve that.  Sure, he’s annoying, can be whiney, but he’s a human being with a life.

A life that he deserves to go back to.

“I have frost...frost bite...I can’t feel anything.”

“It’s not frost bite.”

“Then...what...what is it?”

“Don’t worry about it.  Just breathe...you’re okay, Justin.  I know you can barely feel anything below your belly button right now, but you’ll be okay.  I promise you’ll be okay.  Lie still and let your body warm up.”  

He continues to cough harshly, and sobs, as I continue to stroke the exposed part of his face, gently.

He’s lucky.  He’s lucky I was awake.

Fucking idiot

I don’t know what time he decided to get up, but he didn’t bother to wake me on his way out of the tent.  It was early, the alarm on my watch hadn’t even gone off yet.  He says he had to use the bathroom...the other thing, not number one, and in the middle of doing his business...that’s when the explosion went off.

That’s when I woke up too.

It was the plane, and I guess now...I’m thankful we got away, but at the same time, I know how close Justin came to being killed today.

Even though we’re a few miles from the wreck, the vibrations caused by the explosion surged through the area like at tidal wave, causing the snow to shift around from places up high in the mountains, and as Justin was trying to get his clothes back on, that’s when it happened.  A small avalanche pummeled him to the ground, and buried him alive.  If I hadn’t been standing outside the tent, getting my bearings, I probably wouldn’t have known anything happened to him.  I’m a pretty sound sleeper.

It took me a good hour, to even break the surface of that mound, and I’m scared for him.  He told me that his legs and most of his rear were exposed to the snow during the time he spent down in that hole.  He has hypothermia, there’s no question about it, because he’s so numb, and his body is trembling.  It’s going to get worse the longer we’re stuck out here.  It’ll be too much for me to treat with a simple first aid kit, but of course, I haven’t let him know how desperate his condition is.  Instead, I’ve done my best to warm him up using the chemical heat packs in my first aid kit, sticking one to the side of his neck and one just above his groin.  It was weird for him, I know it was, but I maintained my professionalism...even though...his body wasn’t all that bad to look at.

I guess I understand Cassidy’s infatuation a little more now.

I’m losing my mind, too.

I had to strip him down out of his clothes anyway.  They were soaked to the core, right through to his boxers, and I knew he would be better off without them on.  To compensate, I dug all the clothes out of both of our packs, and created a makeshift robe for him with some of them, covering him up with every single blanket we have available.  I wrapped one around his head too, only leaving his face exposed, like I was trained to in the Marines.  He’s dry now, and that’s good, but I know he’s still freezing.  I’ve been giving him hot water to try and regulate his core temperature, since caffeine is out and the brandy is gone.  I’ve had to use three bottles of our water so far.  We have eight left.  Really, I wish I could have melted snow instead, but I didn’t want to take any chances with bacteria.  

I’m glad I thought enough to start conserving water last night.

He continues to cough and wheeze, and I know...despite all of my efforts, he’s still chilled to the core.

“Fiona...” He whimpers.

“Shh.”  I stroke his face again.

“I’m...I’m so cold...”

If this continues, I...God...I don’t know if he’ll make it through another freezing, bitter cold night.

There’s one final thing I know I can do that will help.  It will really help, get him through the night, I know it will, but Jesus...I really don’t know if I can do it.

But I have to do it.  I’ll lose him otherwise, and really...I think I’ve started to like the guy a little.  He’s not so bad, just scared, but he’s kind of funny, now that I think about it.

Funny in an adorable sort of way. The kind of way that makes you want to just...wrestle with him, lie on the floor with him for hours.  In the right situation, I think I might be able to talk to him...about everything on my mind, and he’d be able to listen to me.  He’s a listener, I can tell.

I don’t know if I understand how I feel about him, now that I think about it.  I mean, I don’t hate him, or dislike him, like I did in the beginning.  I feel like we could be friends.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been able to be friends, with anybody.

“If I...if I start to slip away, will you stay here with me?” he whispers.  

I sigh.

That’s it.

“Stop being so dramatic.  You’re not slipping away.  You’ll make it.”  I straighten myself, and then, I start to strip my clothes off, having to take deep even breaths the whole time so I don’t lose my professional demeanor.

“Fiona.”

I pull off my boots, being careful not to disturb the splint.  Then come the pants, my layers of sweaters, and then, finally, my bra and panties.  I’m fully exposed now, but I hold my head high, because this is what I have to do, to ensure his survival.  “What.”

“You’re naked.”

“I know.”

I quickly go over to where he’s been laid out on the floor of the tent, and lift up his blankets, so I can get underneath with him.  I wrap my arms around him and press my body up against his, so our skin is touching, trying my best not to knock my legs into his privates.  Sharing body heat...it’s a classic remedy for hypothermia, even though it’s awkward as hell.

Cassidy would have a cardiac if she knew.

“That’s...” He has to stop and starts coughing for a while.  “That’s the easiest I’ve ever gotten a woman in bed.”

“You’re not making this easier.”

He clears his throat. “Sorry.”

“Lie still, and try to rest.”  I reach out from underneath the covers quickly, for the weather radio that’s lying beside us, and pull it back inside our cocoon.  I turn it on, trying to seek comfort in the sounds of the news, hoping it will make us both forget about our sudden naked embrace here in the tent.  

“...sources have reported that the downed jet known to have been carrying the pop superstar, was found charred and burned beyond repair earlier today.  A search of the wreckage produced the remains of the jet’s captain, Joe Sarowski, a fifteen year veteran of airline business.  The other two passengers known to be on board the aircraft, flight attendant Fiona Carmicale of Long Island, New York, as well as Justin Timberlake himself, have not yet been recovered.  Authorities remain optimistic, that the two have sought refuge elsewhere in the mountains, and a foot and air search has finally gotten underway after two and a half days of blizzard like conditions.”

John Yalzone, head of the Colorado Rescue League, had this to say in a press conference today.

“We believe the two missing passengers to be alive at this point.  Miss Carmicale is a seasoned Marine Corps veteran, with years of skill and experience behind her.  We feel she has sought refuge at higher ground, out of harms way, with Mr. Timberlake, and we will exhaust all of our options and work around the clock, before we make the decision to call off our search.”

I switch off the radio, because I can’t bear to hear anymore.

“Oorah.” He laughs, and coughs.

“Idiot.”

“You think they’ll find us?”

“I hope so.”

He stares at me, his blue eyes regaining some of their light, and I know he’s starting to warm up a little more, even though his teeth are still chattering.  “Marines huh?”

“Yeah.”

“I didn’t think chicks went into the Marines.”

“Well, you thought wrong.”

“I admire that,” he smirks.  “You’re a tough lady.  Your husband must be proud.”

I stare at him for a few moments.  Of course he thinks I’m married.  I still wear my gold wedding band, even though it’s been years, and Michael was long gone from my life even before he died.  “I don’t have a husband.”

“What about the ring?”

I look away from him the best I can.  “Habit.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

“I don’t really talk about it...with anybody.”

“I’d say this situation is awkward enough to call for the spilling of our deepest secrets.” He laughs and coughs harshly again.

“You go first then.”

“All right...” He trails off, coughs some more, and then starts to speak again.  “You wanna know why I started having a drinking problem?”

“Sure.”

“I presented a demo to my label and they told me it sucked.”

I give him a confused glance.  “Really?”

He laughs.  “Stupid right? Now that I look back on it, I know it was but...music, it’s always been a big part of me, and...I was so successful all the other times.  I guess it did something to me, when they told me that.  It changed me.  I would sit down after that and try to revamp the demo and I couldn’t.  It depressed the hell out of me so...I just started partying all the time, taking stupid movie rolls to keep my money coming in, and drinking my free time away.  I fucked up a lot of things, almost lost the people closest to me.  It seems so silly now, but it took a lot to wake me up.”

“Do you think you’ll go back to music after this?”

He chuckles, so softly.  “I think I have enough inspiration to last me a lifetime, now.”

“I always liked that one song...Summer Love,” I smirk and laugh a little more.  “It always took the chaos out of my day.”

“That right there,” he croaks.  “Is why I love music.  It touches people.  You can’t do that with a movie.”

I nod.

“So now it’s your turn.”

“I met Michael in basic,” I begin.  “We hit it off from right from the start, I guess.  We got married and I got pregnant after a year. I had to discharge from the Marine Corps, but I was a sergeant, and halfway to going into special Ops.  I would have done well, I think.”

“Do you regret it?”r32;

“I don’t regret having Mackenzie.”r32;

“But getting married?”

I don’t look him in the eyes as I shrug my shoulders.  “Sometimes.”

“Where is he now?”

“He passed away.”

He stares at me for a moment.  “Sorry...”

“No...it’s...it was a few years ago.  He was in Iraq on a volunteer mission, and a roadside bomb wiped out his entire group.  It was really sudden.  I dont think Kenz has ever really recovered from it, but I do what I can to help her remember her father.”

“What about you?”

“Hm?”

“Have you recovered?”

“I...” I pause and sigh.  “Our marriage wasn’t going that well, when he deployed.  If he came home, I think we would have gotten a divorce, but...but I’ll always love him, you know? When things were good...I think I was the happiest I’ve ever been.  I admit, I do my best not to think about him.”

“But now she’s sick...Mackenzie.”

I nod.  “She has a rare bacteria infection in her heart.  She’s on the list for a new one.  When Michael died I started doing these flights, and it took care of us, until she started to get really bad.  I just...I’ve been struggling a lot the last few months, you know? She’s had so many surgeries and procedures I can’t make ends meet anymore.  This flight...was supposed to ensure her transplant, even though I wouldn’t have gotten all the money I needed for it. Now...now...I...I dont’ know if...”

“Fi.”

I feel the tears on my face, and I can’t help but let out a small whimper.  He’s staring me in the eyes, stronger now, and I guess this was the right move...laying like this with him, even though I can’t make sense of it, or of our emotions.  

“We’ll get home and she’ll get what she needs,” he says seriously.  “You can’t talk me out of it now.  You’re the reason I’m not buried ass deep in the snow, frozen to death.”

“I don’t like to let people help me, Justin.”

He smirks.  “Yeah, I’ve been getting that vibe from you.”

I smirk too, close my eyes as I let the warmth from our bodies take over me.

And then I feel it, the touch of his lips to my forehead.  My eyes snap open, and I gasp a little.  He’s pulled the blanket off of his head, and is lying on his side now, embracing me tighter to his chest.  “Justin...put that back on...Jesus.”

He shakes his head.  “I don’t need it now.”

“You do...you don’t realize that...”

“Shh.”  He presses a finger to my lips.  “I feel a little better, just...let me do this.  It’s helping.”

I sigh harshly.

“That’s your problem.  You need to let people help you sometimes, Fi.  You can’t always be the saving grace.”

“I’ve always been this way.  My sister says I’m the most stubborn person ever to grace man kind.”

He shrugs.  “Maybe it’s time for a change.”

“Maybe.”

He kisses my forehead again, and draws me closer to his naked body.  “Close your eyes.”

“Justin...”r32;

“C’mon,” he flashes me a sleepy, worn out smile.  “Relax for a while.  There’s nothing stopping you.  This is the only thing we can do right now.”

He’s stroking my hair, and face, gazing into my eyes and smiling gently, willing me to relax.  It’s the most comfort I’ve had in a really, really long time, makes me want to break down and cry, and I hate that.  I hate that I’m seeing past his fear now, that he’s allowing himself to break down and reveal how he can really be outside of a nightmare like this.  “I guess I could have subbed for your date this weekend, huh?”

He laughs and coughs.  “Man, I almost forgot about that.  You know, in a way, it’s almost better this way.  My best friend...Trace, he would have been giving me shit all weekend if this didn’t happen.”

“But at least we’d both be safe.”

“True.”

Silence.

“Fiona.”

“Yeah?”

“I’d really like to be friends...when we get out of this.”

I’m silent.  “I don’t know what’s going to happen when we get out of this Justin.”

“The usual chaos and media circus.  I’m used to it.”

“But I’m not.”

“Still.” He smoothes a few strands of hair back behind my ear.  “I’d like to try.”

I shrug.  Really, I don’t know what else to tell him, because no matter what, if we get home, our lives are going to be completely different from the way they are right now.  “I can’t make you any promises.”

“But you’ll try.”

I suck in a breath.  “Yeah.  I’ll try.”

He smiles, and his eyes close.  “Deal.”

That’s when I hear it, and when Justin opens his eyes and stares at me, I know he can hear it too.

Helicopter blades.  Distant...but getting closer. 

Salvation.

Hell, are we saved? And if the answer is yes, will I really be able to keep my promise to him?

It's too much to think about at a time like this.