I took off early this morning to dye my hair, Cassie with me to have hers highlighted and we leave the salon about five hours later. We splurged a tiny bit and got our nails done, just to surprise Nick and Josh. We have our heads covered with ball caps repping our favorite basketball team, Orlando Magic. "Lemme see your hair," she demands.
"Show me yours."
"You first."
"Nope, you first."
I groan and have an 'ah-ha' moment. "Same time on three."
"Deal. One, two, three." We pull our hats off and look at each other's hair, touching a handful of it on the other one's head. "You have a color close to Jessica Rabbit's!" she comments, smiling.
"The reds and blues you used look great!"
"JC is going to flip when he sees this!"
"Nick is going to lose his mind when he sees you."
We laugh at the possible reactions of our other halves, teasing them before we even arrive at the arena. We get our caps on again and climb out, laughing like we've lost our damn minds. I hear the security team whispering around us as we wait for everyone who's supposed to perform in Kitteridge, Maine with us tonight. "What's so funny, guys?" Cassie snaps. She's annoyed, borderline pissed off.
"Your striped and her Jessica Rabbit inspired hair," Lonnie attempts to inform us without trying too hard to keep from laughing. We flip the entire security staff off, mad they decided to tease us.
Josh walks in and most of security, walks out. "Go get her, Roger," Tiny teases him.
"Puh-puh-puweeeze!" Mike taunts, folding his hands in a prayer position.
"Alright, guys, knock it off. Let Roger have time with Jessica so she only plays 'Patty Cake' with him," Derek comments, the four of them walking off with Lonnie leaving last and shaking his head in an ashamed manner while they laugh about the jokes.
"Who's Roger? What about a Jessica? I'm not cheating. Are you?" he asks, genuinely befuddled, pointing in the direction of our security staff.
Cassie and I laugh like a couple hyenas barking, rocking on the couch we've been occupying. She stops laughing and pulls off my cap. "Hey!" I shout.
"That's why," she explains, pointing to my head and I knock hers off to reveal her hair.
"You're one to talk, Rainbow-Brite!" I retort.
"For your information, I grew up watching that and I think Jessica Rabbit was the shit!"
"Well," Josh begins, breaking into a fit of laughter he has no control over. He's holding himself upright, kinda upright, with help from the chair beside me. "I'm in my forties and still find Jessica Rabbit to be beautiful, but I know she's a fictional cartoon character who doesn't match up to my breath-taking wife for even a moment," he explains.
"I thought so."
"You're real and I have you in my life, nothing I'd want to-"
"Daddy! Daddy!" Nickoly exclaims, running into the room a few feet ahead of his twin sister.
"Dadoo! Dadoo!" Zandrya shouts, both of them hugging his waist.
Aaron walks in, a shit eating grin plastered on his face. "Did you let her watch 'Animaniacs' again?" Josh questions, pointing to our youngest daughter above her head.
"She found my old DVDs and threw one in the player, so she chose it."
Cassie and I laugh again. "She's YOUR daughter," he tells me, smiling from ear to ear and teasing me.
"Nickoly is definitely yours, you've always turned my older children into yours," I counter with.
"I couldn't fully corrupt your older daughter, she's JUST LIKE YOU."
Is that the best argument he can come up with? Seriously? "My middle son is JUST LIKE YOU AND YOU ADOPTED HIM!" I point out, a single digit aimed at him.
Cassie looks between us, Josh and I having smiles break onto our faces and the two of us laugh while leaving her confused. Nick clears his throat, our joyous noise dying down some and gaining our attention at the same time. "How did you confuse my fiancé?"
"Our 'which kid is like which parent' argument," I inform him, earning an annoyed groan for a response.
He covers his face with his hand, shaking his head. "Of course," he complains, tossing his head back and his hands go into the air.
I just tied the bandana around my head, concealing my hair before my fan interview with my biggest fan in Kitteridge, the town we play tonight and sit in the back of the tour bus. I get bored and climb the steps to the open second floor and walkie to Lonnie. "Send everyone else to the second level, lead the fan up here as well."
"Yes, Jessica," he replies, sniggering.
"Oh, jeeze. Va te faire foutre, dill weed."
"I got dill weed. What was that you said before that?"
"Look it up cuz I'll never tell."
"She said for you to fuck off."
"Just had to ruin my fun, Joshua. I'll deal with you later. Je ne vais foutre tu çe soir," I fire back at my husband, feeling like I just won a war of words with him.
"You realize I can spell all that and I believe the basis of that is along the lines of... HEY! I didn't start this! I don't call you that! I haven't all day! Why punish me?"
He's whining, making me laugh and indicating that I've won."Sam, you're just mean to the man," Derek claims.
"That's why we can usually hear them, right?" Tiny disagrees, hinting at our very active bedroom activities.
I chuckle, unaware they heard it. "She even agrees with me!"
"I do not!" I fib, "I just find it funny."
"Still, why punish me?!" Josh demands. I release the button, hearing the entire security team laugh at him.
"Whoo!" I press the button and take a breath.
"They're your security team from your-"
"Don't even," he warns me.
"Boybanddays!" I rapidly blurt out. I drop the walkie onto the couch beside me and fall over laughing.
"Burn!" Big Mike fires off.
"That's cold!" Tiny exclaims.
"Ooh, damn!" Lonnie adds.
"Oh, come on! You listened to them and obsessed over the man you're now married to!" Derek fires back, throwing me under the bus.
"Just so you know, I was obsessed since 92 and those were his pre-boyband days, back when he'd been on MMC! So, meh!" I retort, sticking my tongue out as if he were in the room with me.
"Get that tongue in your mouth!" Nick orders.
"We all know where it's been, but still," Aaron chimes in.
I can see Cassie just shaking her head as she puts her two cents in. "You two are sick. Nick, everyone knows where your mouth has been since we've gotten back together, yet we still allow you to run your mouth."
She is awarded with laughter from everyone except Nick and I roll toward the back of the couch to keep from falling off, laughing hard enough to have to physically hold onto the couch. "Not funny," Nick growls.
I grab the walkie. "You're right, it wasn't."
Yes, a touch of sarcasm. "Sam agrees with me," he announces.
"It was fucking hysterical!" I observe, everyone laughing again.
"You're on a mean streak tonight, aren't you?" Lonnie demands.
"No, not at all. I'm on a roll."
"If that's what you call it, but we refer to it as a mean streak."
I roll my eyes and let it go, sitting upright against the back of the couch and lean my head back onto the cushions. I close my eyes and begin to relax, nervous to meet my biggest fan.
