Oh, joy, we get to meet her biggest fan. I’m not thrilled because this woman is also my biggest fan, making it creepy as fuck and she also idolizes my brother. I bet she’s been following the three of our careers since I first became known just for the fact that we’re related, I wouldn’t put it past this super fan. What makes me smirk about it? She’s not a huge JC fan, she doesn’t even like anything to do with *NSYNC and I find that tidbit hysterical. She can’t even name two of the members of JC’s group. “Buuuuuuuuuuggggggg!” Nickoly excitedly shouts, airborne before I can react and I breathe a sigh of relief when I catch the almost five year old boy.
“Nickoly, you can’t be jumping like that if I’m not ready.”
“Why not?” His piercing blues shine, no doubt with pure curiosity.
“If I dropped you or you got hurt in any way, your mom would kick my butt and you kids all know this,” I reiterate, pointing at him and myself as I remind the small child.
He shakes his head and motions to himself. “I won’t tell mommy.”
“She’d hear you crying, it’s like she has super sonic hearing when it comes to you kids,” I tell him, giving him a bored look.
“No-suh.”
My walkie clicks. “Yes, I do, Nickoly,” his mom proves me right.
He searches for her and looks scared out of his mind, making me smile. “Told you, kid.”
“She’s like supermom or something.”
“You have no clue, but you will someday.”
“Daddy isn’t good as mommy,” he observes.
“Daddy is still learning about kids and raising them.”
“Like you?”
“Yeah, but I’ve had less time.”
I put Nickoly on his feet and he scampers off to find whoever he’s after, most likely Chris. I look over and notice Cassie’s photo album on one of the tables. I sit on the loveseat and pull it to me, opening it to a page where I see a photo I haven’t seen in years. The fucked up part is that Sam and Cassie are so much like each other, it’s mind blowing.
I hear the tune I associate with both of the women, shaking my head at one of the most embarrassing photos from my pre-group days with the four of us guys and Cassie. I hear the two of them laugh with JC and Sam’s youngest boy, coming this way and the child demands his mom to sing the song, something she always does for her children. This song is purely humorous, but so accurate and I have to thank The Sickest Kids for recording and releasing ‘Forever A Lady’ on July 14, 2008 on ’Underdog Alma Mater’. I swear I had no idea about it until Sam came across some of her old albums and notes with her favorite bands and songs. She also loves ‘Chin Up’ by the same band. Sam is one of the pickier musical fans, Cassie is more laid back and accepting of anything to do with music. They’re so much the same as they are different, it makes me laugh. I hadn’t heard of half the bands and groups and artists Sam has until she came around and I have to admit that half of the bands have strange names (Stereo Skyline, Sick Puppies, and Mayday Parade to name a couple), but their music and lyrical talent more than efficiently compensate for the names.
I'm in love with a girl I hate
She enjoys pointing out every bad thing about me
I'm in love with a critic and a skeptic, a traitor
I'd trade her in a second
She's a backseat driver, a drama provider
An instant update of the world
She's a first class liar, a constant forgetter
She's attractive but bitter
Did you scream enough to make her cry
To turn around, turn around?
Baby, don't return to me
If you think that I'm not worth your time
She's a lady
And ladies shouldn't be messed with
She's a lady
And ladies shouldn't be messed with
Take off your shoes, come in the room
And baby let's try not to argue
Turn out the lights, turn on the radio
And how can we fight when I'm too busy loving you
I'm too busy loving you, I'm too busy loving you?
Did you scream enough to make her cry
To turn around, turn around?
Baby, don't return to me
If you think that I'm not worth your time
She's a lady
And ladies shouldn't be messed with
She's a lady
And ladies shouldn't be messed with
Here I am, there you go again, again
We will not ever be eighteen again, again
And I'm worn out of fighting
And every night you leave crying
And I, I could use some time
Here I am, there you go again, again
So here I am and I'm dying
And I'm waiting for you, waiting for you
Come back, come back to me
And I'll take you gladly, well, I'll take you any time
Did you scream enough to make her cry
To turn around, turn around?
Baby, don't return to me
If you think that I'm not worth your time
Did you scream enough to make her cry
To turn around, turn around?
Baby, don't return to me
If you think that I'm not worth your time
She's a lady
And ladies shouldn't be messed with
She's a lady
And ladies shouldn't be messed with
It’s funny how Sam’s music is based in rock, pop and R&B, but somehow incorporates everything all at once sometimes from each and every genre. I watch her write on her laptop and I think of a dancer, a pianist, a true performer. Somehow she listens to these songs that just scream out for everyone to leave her alone and she laughs, songs like The Summer Set’s ‘Fuck U Over’, which always makes me think what brings her attention to them. She always smiles when I ask her, shrugging and tells me, ‘Good beats, means something to someone, and I like it cuz I’m weird that way.’ I never really get a proper explanation of how she interprets the lyrics, she always tells me that her version may vary from even mine and for me to listen to them, I should figure out what message I get from it before I discuss the song with her. She always writes to some other artist’s songs, it’s either her own lyrics or music or personal stories.
Nobody ever gets a definitive answer when it comes to why she enjoys the music she does, but then again I have to keep in mind that she writes best when she listens to it. I have to admit that she even dances better if she’s allowed to have a half hour of dancing to it before her own music for any show or video or performance. She has a huge thing coming up in a month that she’s been rehearsing for, she’s been rehearsing non-stop since August and it happens on New Year’s Eve. She’s going to be part of the biggest special that happens every year, but that’s on top of the Christmas special she has the week before on ABC and it’s because she just wrapped up recording the last track two days ago. The tour doc put her on complete vocal rest for yesterday and most of today, translating it to only talking when absolutely necessary and she’s followed it for the most part. She’s been texting everyone when she wants to talk, not counting the comment to prove me right or the walkie conversation earlier. Granted, she seems to focus better when she listens to her favorite songs before she does anything that concerns her career and it includes interviews.
I walk up the back steps of the tour bus, smiling when I see her relaxing on the couch half asleep. I bend over and hug her, receiving the same greeting from her in return. “You made alive. Where is Nickoly?”
“Walkie everyone.”
She scoffs, rolling her eyes and does as I suggested. “Who has Nickoly and Zandrya?”
Mik, Li and Lil’ Man are with JC’s brother and mom. They’re so entirely engrossed in school and their friends, it’s actually reassuring. Mik is 17, Li is 15 and Lil’ Man just turned 13 about 2 months ago. We had a break in the tour for about three days to celebrate it covertly with him and our closest friends and families. He wanted a party just for us, something intimate and the following weekend had one just for his friends.
“I have them,” Lonnie responds, laughing after.
“No letting them drop in on this fan interview,” she orders.
“Hang them by their toenails from the ceiling fan, got it,” Big Mike answers, jokingly.
“If that’s what you call kid lock down, sure,” she laughs, more than aware that they’re joking.
A woman about 25 walks up the steps and she grins, hugging each of us. First JC, Aaron, myself, Sam, Chris, Justin and Hayley before sitting across from Sam and JC. We have Hayley until the third of December, then it’s off to do her own tour with her band. She pulls out a handheld video camera and places it on the table beside her to allow it to capture all of us and another to catch her reaction as well. “Are you Kailine?” Sam asks.
This woman is fighting back tears, excited to talk to Sam, my brother and myself. “Yes. Ohmygod, I’m so excited to meet you.” She wipes a tear from near her left cheek, her brown eyes twinkling.
Sam quickly shoots me a worried glance and redirects her attention to the fan, hoping she doesn’t go nutso. “I bet you are. How are you?”
“Better since I have time to talk to you and your tour mates. Thank you so much.”
Sam smiles. “You’re welcome, but it’s nothing really.”
“It is when you’re on her end of things, baby,” JC reminds her of when they met almost a decade earlier.
“Oh, yeah,” she sheepishly admits, lightly blushing. “So, what do you want to know, hon?”
“You have five children all between four and 17, how do you handle being world renown, a mom and a wife?”
“One thing and one day at a time when I can, enjoy the smaller priceless things in life and love those around me who love and help me as best as they can. It does include our security team.”
“Who’s your favorite family member other than your children?”
“Do I have to choose?” Sam whines.
“Yes.”
This fan is completely out of her gourd. “It’s a toss up between Nick and Alyssa and Aaron.”
“Does everyone have a nickname for you?”
“Yes.”
“What are they?”
We all look at each other and laugh. “That’s for us to know because it’s personal information, but if you follow us on Twitter, Tumblr and Facebook you might know.”
“If you weren’t on this tour, what would you be doing right now?”
We look at the small digital alarm clock on the nightstand in the back bedroom of the bus. “I’d be home with JC, getting ready to get the kids and probably on a cleaning spree. It drives him crazy.”
“Or we would be recording,” JC offers.
“I’d be recording with the rest of the Boys,” I offer.
“I’d be on the road with my band,” Hayley comments, smiling.
“I would most likely be terrorizing Sam, JC and their kids.”
Aaron would say some shit like that. “Probably be recording again,” Justin supplies.
“Being lazy,” Chris admits and the rest of his band agrees.
We burst into a fit of laughter. “If you weren’t a performer, what would you be doing?”
“Going to college and getting business, computer information systems and computer repair and programming degrees,” Sam rambles.
“Being a dad and husband,” JC confesses.
“I dunno,” Justin admits, scratching his head.
“Being lazy,” Chris laughs.
“Of course!” we all tease him.
“Maybe be a mechanic,” I suggest.
“Still living in Tennessee,” Hayley ponders with a gentle smile.
“We would still be in Cali,” Ernie comments for the rest of Nigels11.
“Being the annoying middle brother and finishing up college,” Aaron jokes.
Sam leans forward and looks at him. “You do the first part perfectly as is and I say that as your barely older than you cousin who wants to hurt you on a regular basis.”
He smirks. “Love you more, Bre.”
She rubs her middle finger on the bridge of her nose and he rubs his on his forehead. “The three of them do this all the time and I’m surprised Nick hasn’t joined in yet.”
“I have more fun arguing with you,” I retort.
He raises a single digit and opens his mouth, only to close it when his wife looks at him. “Not going there right now.”
“Why? She gave you the look?” I taunt him. His eyes tell me to go fuck off.
Sam laughs boisterously. “This is extremely mild, especially for them,” Sam announces, pointing at JC and myself. I give her the Carter Dead Eye. “Oooh, I’m so scared! I’m shaking in my sparkly space boots!”
“You just wait,” I warn her, a single digit pointed in her face.
“And now he joins in on the usual shit,” JC mutters.
“It’s so funny,” Hayley chortles.
“It’s nice not to be involved in it,” Justin and Chris agree.
“It does wear everyone’s nerves thin after awhile,” JC grumbles.
“We’ve been on the road for something like 6 months and it’s not getting to the rest of us.”
“Were you paying any attention when she was trying to get the last song done for the Christmas album she rushed to finish so it could be released next week?” JC points out for us and we all laugh, if you don’t count him.
