Chapter 1
The misty dawn peaked through the windows one gloomy Tuesday. The light outlined the figure of a young man fretting under the navy covers. His deep set piercing blue eyes were closed, unbeknownst to the world around him temporarily. Stubble lined his roundish face; he hadn’t shaved in several days because he’d stayed home and saw no reason to clean up. His almost jet black hair was a color decision made after seeing his first gray hair a few years ago.
Life hadn’t turned out the way JC Chasez had planned. His first attempt at releasing a solo cd fell to pieces due to lack of support at the record label and a manager who didn’t help matters. A few years later he started a second called ‘Kate’. The record label made it clear they wouldn’t help him release it. That shot his confidence. He didn’t want to repeat the ordeal of the first record, so he decided to abandon the project. He switched over to acting and judging a TV dance competition. Even that had fallen through after he got into several arguments with one of the other judges and decided to leave on a whim. The past few months, he’d fallen into a depression, choosing not to deal with the reality of a career in shambles. He struggled getting out his bed day after day, not seeing the point of living. Even with all the luxuries of what little celebrity he had left, he felt lonely and isolated.
He let out a low cough. This triggered a machine gun like chain of a coughing fit that seemed to originate from somewhere deep inside. He awoke, struggling to breathe. He’d woken up like this several times recently. He figured it was only allergies; usually the attacks happened when he first woke up or was trying to sleep. He knew he should get it checked out, but didn’t want to. Everything else had gone wrong lately; he didn’t need anything else on top of it these days.
After the fit subsided, he lay still and glanced at the increasingly gray and dull view outside his window. I don’t want to get up. It’s too dark out there. It does match my mood, though.
But maybe this will be the day something will turn around.I doubt it. It hasn’t happened yet.
You don’t know unless you try, do you?JC groaned. This was the battle he fought in his head every day. The minute encouraging voice versus the monstrous depression. He couldn’t pinpoint a direct cause of this bout of depression. No single event had trigged it. As a result all the color had drained out of life. He existed but didn’t truly live. He was a shell of his former self. Someone who was happy, outgoing yet reserved and truly loved his craft. He truly loved being creative, figuring out different ways to tell a story through song, singing and sharing that with an audience. But he let others kill that desire. Loved ones told him not to let naysayers infringe on his dreams. Yet when the powers that be trample and squash his dreams twice, he found it hard to find the strength to fight back a third time.
His buzzing iPhone jarred him out of his thoughts. He glanced at the number that belonged to his friend and manager, Eric. I’m not talking to you right now, dude. Eric could be the nicest person on earth at times but he had an insufferable temper and aggressive streak. JC was convinced he had somewhat to do his shattered career. But because of his docile nature, Eric stuck around. JC was terrible at confrontation and avoided it at all costs.
He ran his hand across his prickly face. He usually liked to keep a clean shaven look and the length would have normally not gotten this long. Come on Chasez, you can do this. Get up and look like a decent human being for once. He yawned and stretched. Slowly his feet met the floor and then his body stood vertical. That’s it. Now get to the bathroom.
One long shower and a shaved face later, JC felt a little bit better. That’s the way it is with me these days. Once I do something productive, I usually feel okay. Yet getting there is near impossible. He decided to head downstairs to attempt song writing on his piano.
He went downstairs to his living room. The TV was still on from last night He didn’t remember it being on; however his memory proved hazy these days. The sound was turned down and appeared to be on some kind of tabloid news show. This baffled him even more; he hated the paparazzi with a passion and they were part of the reason he didn’t want to be in the spotlight anymore. He shrugged and sat down at the piano.
All the stars come out for last night’s premiere of the new action flick “Valley of the Sun”. Cast members including Tom Cruise, Minka Kelly, Chase Crawford and Kent Timbrook signed autographs for fans and posed for photographs. Kent seemed particularly excited for the release. “This role is a bit of a departure for me. I get to play the bad guy!” He said with a laugh.
Kent Timbrook? Why does that name sound familiar? JC had met Kent a few times during different industry events. He felt neutral about the guy. The conversation hadn’t gone much past the “Hey, what’s up man? How’s life?” spiel. He had a sister, too. What was her name? Jennifer? No. Jenna.
He remembered Jenna. She was one of the few people who believed in ‘Kate’. She worked in the public relations department at Jive. They’d talked about his inspiration and she understood why he took the sound in a particular direction. He wanted make an album with substance and find new ways to present trite concepts. She was the new one in the office and outnumbered so it didn’t override the majority. But he was thankful for her faith. If only he could find her now. He’d never really fully voiced his appreciation for her.
If only more people like Jenna existed in the record business. Most of the people at Jive wanted him to conform to what was on the radio so they could make oodles of money. JC didn’t believe in that. There wasn’t enough emphasis on voice and too much on one repetitive hook that would get stuck in your head for days on end. Not everyone wanted that. Why couldn’t you something that was aurally pleasing but also made you think? Instead of saying “I hate you because you hurt me”, why not say “I loved you all the way until yesterday”? JC knew he was dreaming. Even if fans like that existed, he didn’t have the resources or the desire to produce the record anymore. He didn’t want his dreams trampled on a third time. Might as well go see what Eric wants.
