Chapter 28

WRETCH. Another rush of vomit gushed into the toilet. ”God,” JC whispered. “Please stop.” And just like that, another bout arrived. Nausea violently awoke him shortly before six. He’d remained in this position for the last hour. The waste his body produced far exceeded the intake. So why did he find himself throwing up here day and night?

His parents were supposed to be here any minute to take him to treatment. No symptoms (aside from fatigue) were present the previous night. JC felt almost normal. Human, even. Those moments were few and far between these days. Still, he slept on the couch in the studio like before; Song ideas used to badger him out of bed in the middle of the night.  He would come here and play around until the thought either ignited or fizzled out. Alas, his humanity had fled once again.

A message came through on his phone:

“We’re outside. The door’s locked.” –Mom, 3 minutes ago.

Oh shit! I hope they haven’t been out there long. “Just a sec. I’ll get it. A little sick this a.m.”

Understatement of the year there, buddy. He opened his house security app and unlocked the front door. “Come in. I’m downstairs, next to my studio."

His parents helped him from the floor a few minutes later. They moved him to the studio couch. Karen went upstairs to get a clean outfit.

“Why were you down here?” Roy asked.

JC shrugged. “Jenna and I hung out yesterday and I didn’t have the energy to go back upstairs.”

“You let her in the studio, didn’t you?” His dad teased.

“Yes, I invited her. Why such a big deal?”

“You’ve been fiercely protective of that space in the past.”

“I needed to upload a video response to the rumors.”

“You don’t owe anyone anything.” Roy spat. “Now they’ll hound you further.”
“Not when I’ve changed my phone number.” JC sighed. “Dad, I can only take so much poking and prodding. I’d rather respond on my own terms. Not when some douchebag is antagonizing me for five blocks.”

“I hate seeing people bully you. You’re in the most vulnerable position of your life and you’re getting ambushed everywhere you go.”

JC rolled his eyes. Don’t keep questioning my motives! You’re not the one living in the depths of hell every day. “It’s not the first time and it won’t be the last. I’m used to it now.”

“That’s not right!”

“So what?” The patient snapped. “Everything’s wrong in my life, okay? Would it kill anyone to recognize that?”

“No…”

“Save the sunshine and ponies bullshit for later, Dad. I’m not in the mood.”

Awkward silence followed.

Finally, JC sighed. “Look, just get me to the car so I can get to the treatment and go back to bed.”

Roy opened his mouth to argue but thought better. “Alright.” He said dejectedly. “You ready?”

“Yeah.”

Unfortunately, as the trio was heading out the door, JC threw up again in the front hall. That leaded to a mad scramble to clean up the mess and get him a second clean outfit to wear. JC didn’t care about that, as the vomit only splattered on his clothes. But his mother wouldnt have that. He gave up arguing. The ride over was filled with pin drop silence.

Roy drove into the parking lot twenty minutes later. “Do you need me to park by the entrance?”

“Yeah.” JC spotted three slimy individuals with Canons in their hands by the hospital’s sign. All three appeared middle age and unkempt. They scanned the passing traffic waiting for someone.

“There he is!” One of them exclaimed.

You’ve got to be kidding me. Dad was right. Not only are the paparazzi waiting at Hell’s front gates, they’re certified stalkers who finagled the information in the first place. JC snarled.

“What’s wrong, honey?”

“See those guys we just passed? They KNEW I would be here this morning.”

“How?”

“I don’t know.” He sent them. Who else would know?

Roy stopped the car. “I told you so. The bear claws will come out if they harass you in any shape or form. Do you want a wheelchair?”

Trust me, Dad, they will. Especially if they associate with two certain bastards. “Yeah.”

“I’ll get one. You and Karen stay here.” Roy slammed the door.

Damn, why is he so angry today? JC watched the group barreling up the sidewalk. They chattered amongst themselves while pointing the camera lens in his direction. How I’d love to punch your gonads. But that’s what they want: a heated reaction to make money and generate website hits. Fuck off, conscience!

All three stopped a few feet from the vehicle. JC rolled down the window. Don’t do it! Don’t do it, Chasez! “What do you want?”

“Get evidence of your dying ass!” The middle one with greasy black hair replied.

“I’m not dying.” He coughed.

“Could have fooled me.” The first one spat. “Your heifer of a girlfriend wouldn’t do this so we’re finishing her job.”

“Yeah, where is she anyway?” The last one jeered. “Couldn’t handle the heat?”

How do you know about Jenna? How dare you berate her like that? Rage tightened his throat; another fit followed.  He turned away to cough in his shirt.

Karen flung the door open. “Listen, gentlemen. You have to leave. Right now.”

“Why should we? It’s a free country.” Black hair sneered.

“It may be. But you can’t be here taunting my son. He’s under an insurmountable amount of stress and your presence is aggravating it.” His mother scrunched up her features. “If you take one step closer, I’ll call the police and your asses will be sorry you ever showed up.”

Oh shit! You tell them, Mom. JC cleared his throat as his dad arrived with a wheelchair. Roy glared at his son’s aggressors. “What do you think you’re doing here?”

“Gerald Antler, freelance photographer. Pleased to meet you, Mr. Chasez.” Black hair extended his hand for a shake.

“We’re here for the money shot!” The first one exclaimed.

Roy stood his ground. “You won’t get your ‘money shot’ because JC will stay in the car until you leave. Stick around long enough, law enforcement will show up and you’ll be in a deep shithole. So, if I were you, I would run like hell before I’m caught.”

A hospital security cruiser rounded the corner, which caused all three bullies to flee the scene.

Roy smiled smugly. “Those cowardly bastards. Cower at any sight of a threat. How sad.”

“We need to let Joshua out, honey.” Karen reminded her husband.

“Just a second, Karen. The coast has to be clear.”

They won’t return any time soon with security on their tail. Don’t be so damn protective. “This isn’t a prison, Dad. You can’t hold me hostage forever.”

“Point well taken.” Roy opened the door.

Jenna was waiting in the lobby. Tension overwhelmed her features: eyes darting around the room searching for him, lips tightened in a frown and violently shaking legs. She heaved a sigh of relief once she saw them. “Oh, thank god. I was really starting to worry. It’s half past eight.”

Don’t remind me. If you knew what has happened, you’d be late, too. “Sorry. Standoff in the parking lot with the paparazzi."

Jenna's jaw dropped as she gasped. "Tell me you're joking."

"I wish we were." Roy replied. "If you’ll excuse me, I’ll have a word with security.”

JC scoffed as his dad walked away. "It's not too fucking much to ask that my cancer treatment is private! Creepy ass pricks harassing me at the hospital isn’t normal! How would you feel if that happened to you?"

"I'd want them out of my face as soon as possible," Karen said.

"My point stands. It's unacceptable." He groaned. "Look, just take me back there before I go batshit crazy."

Jenna and Karen exchanged glances with one another. The younger woman rose up and stood beside JC. They don't fucking get it. How would they like some random jackass harassing you while you're in the worst pain of your life? He clenched his hands, one into a fist and the other around Jenna's.

Her lower lip quivered. “You're in a wheelchair."

Do you have to start the weepy crap already? "It's a necessary evil. My strength is nonexistent this morning."

She kissed his forehead. "You need me to push you?"

“No."

"Ok, darling." She gripped his hand. "You can handle this; it'll be fine."

I don't care. It fucking hurts. “No, it’s not fine. Today is a walk in hell. I’m sick of people invalidating my anger. I don’t want to hear to hear it.”

His girlfriend pressed her lips together again.

I'm not dealing with this shit.

The trio was escorted to the treat room by an unfilmilar nurse. Karen attempted pleasantries that didn't get far from her son's attitude.

"Why are you so grouchy, Joshua?" His mother asked. "You could have tried being nicer to that girl."

Why is everyone trying to start something today? BACK OFF! "I'm pissed, okay? I don't owe kindness to anyone. It shouldn't be this hard to get out of bed every day. When I do muster enough energy, it's hell on earth. I can't walk around my own house, I expel my guts hourly and my lungs are holding me hostage. Shoot me now, why don't you?"

Wendy arrived on cue, saving the others from formulating a response. "Hey JC. How are you?"

"Abysmal. Not my day."

"What's wrong?"

"Just get this over with as soon as humanly possible."

"The day from Hell, huh?"

He nodded.

"Photographers waited for him outside this morning. We don't know how long they had been there. Do you have any idea how they could have gotten this information?" Karen asked.

Wendy grimaced. "All patients are protected under HIPAA. Someone must’ve disclosed details that should be under lock and key.”

"Someone who bribed them with money." JC grumbled and turned to Jenna. "I think Derek planned this.”

“Why?”

“One called you a derogatory female term and said they’d finish your job. How else would anyone know about your termination?”

She clenched her teeth. “He has connections in the industry and can schmooze with the best. It wouldn’t surprise me.” She snapped her finger. “What if Derek got ahold of Eric somehow, who gave me him the information from the hospital, and then passed on to the press.”

“Oh God, now you’re talking conspiracy level theories, babe.”

She shrugged. “Who’s to say it’s not true? They hate our respective guts and want to get revenge by making our lives miserable.”

“Who are you talking about?” Wendy asked.

“Eric is my ex-manager. We aren’t on speaking terms.”

“And Derek is my ex-boss who fired me a week or so ago because I refused to write a fabricated story about JC’s condition.”

“What scoundrels for hurting two kind individuals such as yourselves. We’ll launch an internal investigation to see if your information was breached.”

“Please do.”

“Of course. I’ll contact the appropriate departments. You have a same right to privacy afforded to all patients.”

“His dad went to talk to security already. He hasn’t been back yet.” Karen added.

“Good, they’re probably working on one already.”

“Is moving him to another hospital possible?”

“Dr. Franklin and I will work out the logistics, Mrs. Chasez. Don’t worry; your son is in good hands. We’ll do our best to eliminate the extraneous stuff so you can focus on supporting him.”

“Thank you,” JC whispered.

“You’re welcome. It’s my duty to protect my patients at all costs.” She glanced at the couple’s intertwined hands.  “At least love has a chance to blossom.”

JC’s smile peeked through. “Yeah, we’re dating now. She’s the only reason my head is on straight.”

Jenna blushed. “You’re giving me too much credit.”

Wendy attached the needle vial to the medicine cord. "Then don't mind what I'm doing. Bask in the beauty of the woman sitting beside you."

Jenna grinned playfully. “I got an idea.”
“What, Jenna?”

“Shh, trust me. You won’t even notice the needle.” She stroked his cheek with her thumb.

He closed his eyes in preparation. She kissed him with the lightest of touches. He leaned into her, desiring more. A faint pinch occurred in the background. How does she give such adoring affection after I bit her head off earlier? I don't deserve this.

They broke away. “You didn’t have to stop,” he whispered.

“Babe, we’re in mixed company at the moment."

“You’re right. I forgot.”

“Hey, I’ll give you space.” Karen chimed in. “Your dad isn’t back and I haven’t had breakfast yet. Couple time can be arranged.”

“Don’t get too raunchy on us, though.” Wendy remarked.

Jenna snickered. “Oh, how romantic. A date in a hospital treatment room. The perfect environment.”

“You knew what you signed up for, Jen,” he teased.

“Apparently I signed a long term contract, huh?”

“We both did.” He kissed her cheek.

“I think that’s our cue to leave, Wendy.” Karen said.

“Definitely.” The nurse replied. “You know what to do if you need anything, JC.”  

“Thank you, Wendy. You’re the best. “

“Anything I can do to make this process more bearable, sweetie. We’ll see you in a little bit.”

“You really think Derek sent those photogs?" Jenna asked once their privacy had been granted.

“I don’t see who else could have, Jenna. It’s all too convenient. You defied his orders, so he had to punish you in some way.”

Jenna bit her lip. “Usually it manifested in verbal lashings against my character, my work, my looks… anything he could think of. Shit, JC. It’s my fault.”

“No, it isn’t, babe. Why do you say that?”

“As you can imagine, we had several arguments about you. He must have figured out that you meant something to me personally.  Burn me if you must but…” She turned away. “This is unbearable.  My selfish actions are fucking up so many lives.”

“Stop that.” He cupped her cheek. “Selfish would have been stealing what I’ve shared with you so far, publishing it with no remorse whatever, all while pretending nothing's wrong and lying to my face. You risked your career even though you knew the repercussions.”

“I was stupid for writing him off. You wouldn’t be harassed like this otherwise.”

“Somebody would have dug up the dirt on me eventually. Don’t drag yourself through the mud.”

“Easier said than done, JC. Especially once you've trained your mind in that fashion."

"Maybe that can be reversed."

Jenna snorted. "Good luck trying."

"You're slowly converting me. Why not yourself?"

She crossed her arms. "It's different. Not that easy."

She's closing off. Don't push further. “Will you come back with me?”

“Sure. If you want me to.

“Of course. But if you have other stuff…”

She kissed him. “My morning is booked. With you. Can I take you back?"

"No offense, baby,  but that clunker of a car is a doozy. As soon as the anti nausea medicine wears off, I'll throw up. And I rather not do it on the side of the road."

She nodded. "Can't say I blame you there.  I want to buy something nicer but then consecutive financial events happened, preventing me from doing so."

The disappointment on her face tugged his heart strings. I really want to get her a new one so she doesn't have to worry. Maybe her birthday, if that hasn't happened yet. "When's your birthday?"

"October 27th."

"Maybe someone can help you out with that goal."

Jenna gasped. "You wouldn't!"

"Oh, I would. You watch me."

"I'll believe it when I see it."

"Fair enough, darling. See you back at the house?"

"Loser has to cook breakfast."

“Damn, I better get going, then.”  JC replied. “Cooking isn’t my forte.”

His prediction came true. Merely minutes after returning, he hunched over yet another toilet throwing up even more waste. Jenna rushed to his side, whispering sweet platitudes in his ears and rubbing his back.

Finally, the sickness reached a standstill. "Sorry you had to see that."

Jenna scoffed. "What are you apologizing for? This is part of the package."

"It's not glamorous."

"Real life isn't, JC. Sometimes you fight in the trenches in some form. What do you want to do?"

"Lay on the couch."

"You need help getting up?"

He nodded.

"Give me your hands."

They joined hands and stood up together. JC buried his head in her shoulder. You don't know how your arms are saving me right now.

She tenderly kissed his cheek.

They held each other for a moment and then continued to the living room couch.

”Bet you didn’t think today would be like this.” He whispered after they had setlled down.

Jenna shook her head. “No.”

"I'm sorry for being an asshole today."

"It's fine."

“It was unfairly directed at you. Thank you for seeing through it.”

She smiled. "You can be angry. People do despicable things. Life doesn’t always make sense.”

“You know what does?”

“What?”

“How I feel about you. And how your presence comforts me.” He squeezed her hand.

“Aww. Come here, babe.”

“Even with my vomit infused breath?”

Jenna answered by kissing him anyway. “You haven’t scared me off yet, Chasez.”

“Good to know. May I put my head on your lap?”

“Sure.”

JC laid down, coughing again as he did so. Not this shit again.

“Shh, take a breath sweetheart.”

Jenna stroked his head as the fit continued. His eyes watered considerably; leakage escaped down his cheeks after the flow flooded his tear ducts. At least if I suffocate or drown, Jenna’s by my side so I’ll go in peace. She wiped the wetness away with her fingers.

Finally, the episode subsided. He peered up at his girlfriend. “God, that’s brutal.”

“Relentless. It breaks my heart to watch.”

“One down, however many more to go.”

“Wow! A statement that wasn’t 100 percent negative.”

He shrugged. “I’m hanging around you, what can I say?”

She smiled. “I like this new development.”

“Don’t press your luck; it may not last long.”

“Not on my watch, mister! You’ll be obnoxiously positive and happy when I get through with you!”

He chuckled. “Good luck with that.”

“I’m not really that pushy, I promise.”

“I could hear the sarcasm, baby.”

“Why do you wear these?” Jenna asked and she continued stroking him.

Do you have telepathic powers, woman? How did you know I was thinking about this? “Honestly, protection. Not physically, per se. I had my head shaved at the first sign of hair loss. I couldn’t bear seeing my humanity dwindle in front of my eyes. When I look in the mirror, I see a haggard, beaten, defeated cancer patient. It’s one more reminder my body isn’t mine anymore.”

She nodded. “Do you wear one all the time?”

“Pretty much. Remembering to put one on when others are around is annoying, but I don’t want anyone to see me looking like an undead corpse.”

“You wouldn’t, sweetie. Lots of people have bald heads.”

“But it’s their choice, whether for looks or maintenance. It’s sickening to watch your own deterioration. So I hastened the process to save myself the pain.”

“Understandable. Did anyone go with you for moral support?”

“Lance and Matt Morrison. It was late at night so we wouldn’t attract attention. That’s one of the few times I’ve seen Lance teary eyed.”

“You guys have been friends for years. It must have been hard to accept your friend is sick even after witnessing in person.”

“How do you know these things?”

“What things?”

“You describe why people feel a certain way so easily.”

“Feelings are my expertise. Lord knows I have a lifetime of experience myself. I’m an intuitive person.”

“And you’ve used that gift well. Thank you for today.”  He laced her hand with his and kissed it.

“You’re welcome. You'll be okay, I promise. Today's only one day."

JC nodded. "I need sleep."

"Feel free to use my fatty thighs as a pillow."

He scowled. "Don't say that about yourself. It's not true."

"Trust me, it is."

"No, it's not..." He drifted away

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