OCTOBER 2005

Living in Orlando was worlds away from living in Los Angeles and in a good way. Becca loved the anonymity of the suburbs much better here, though when she and Josh would go out, he would ultimately be recognized and then when they were recognized together, it took them an hour to sign autographs before they could head in to wherever they were dining that night. She worked six days a week on the show, and had one day off and that one day was spent with Josh and Dylan during the afternoon and in the evenings with Josh. She had to admit, it was nice to be back with him again. It still felt strange to say they were in a relationship a because most of their time together had been spent apart. Not that being with him and Dylan together was strange. If anything, that felt like the most normal part of their relationship. And then there was the sex, which to Becca was always mind-blowing. He definitely knew how to make love to her and please her and he was methodical about it until he knew she was ready to come. She had never experienced anything better than being with Josh like that. It was almost surreal.

Yet, her doubts clouded her mind that after Rent ran its course in December, they’d have to go their separate ways once again. Josh figured she’d go back to L.A., but Becca had started to consider slowly getting out of the limelight. She enjoyed Orlando and she enjoyed the slower pace of the stage. It wasn’t as though her movie or television career was blowing up anymore like it had at the beginning of the decade and she was fine with that. Another bonus was that Dylan and Briahna Fatone were officially best friends-or as much as they could be at four-and-a-half. She’d been grateful to Kelly for all the play dates she’d organized with the girls and Kelly had often said how sad Briahna would be once Dylan moved away again.

“How easy is it to get involved in professional theatre here?” Becca asked Joey one day, as they were getting ready for the Saturday matinee.

“For most people, not that easy. For you, very easy,” he touched up the gel in his hair and made sure his “Mark” scarf was adjusted correctly. “Why? You thinking of staying on in Orlando?”

Becca shrugged. “Why not? I really like it. Dylan loves it and I’m tired of uprooting her. Besides, how can I take her away from Briahna?”

Joey eyed Becca through the mirror. “True,” he said. “Have you told Josh about this?”

Becca bit on her lip and shook her head. “No,” she admitted. “Not yet. But I mean, I think he’d be excited about it.”

“Which part would he find exciting? The part where he has to go back to L.A. because that’s where most of his work is? The part where you and his daughter are once again across the country? The part where he has to lose you again? Which part?”

Becca sighed and shook her head. “No, I didn’t mean that. I mean, he has a house here. It’s not like he doesn’t ever come back,”

“He doesn’t,” Joey stated, matter-of-factly. “You’re the only reason he’s here so long. Normally, he’s back about once a year.”

Becca was quiet. “I hate L.A.,” she told Joey. “It’s not glamorous to me anymore. I’m tired of how fast life is there. And I’m kind of tired of the whole Hollywood scene if I’m completely honest.”

Joey was surprised. Becca had been one of the top actresses in Hollywood a few years ago. He knew her career had sort of slumped off, but she was gaining popularity with Rent and he knew many producers from L.A. and New York had been in the audience on several occasions. “What makes it different?” he asked her. “You know sometimes that live theatre can be more demanding.”

“True, it can be,” Becca agreed. “But only if you make it. I mean, if I only did a few shows every so often….” She trailed off and then sighed for the umpteenth time. “I don’t know. I just know I’m content here. I’m more content here than I’ve been in a long time. I don’t know if I want what I had a few years ago. I love Dylan and I’m falling in love with Josh and it’s working. And Orlando is a lot easier to keep up with than L.A.”

“You have to talk to Josh, Becca,” Joey told her. “He needs to know you’re feeling like this. You don’t want to spring this on him the week before the show ends and he’s prepared to move you all back to L.A.”

“I know,” she nodded. She looked at Joey through the mirror. “You don’t think he’ll be excited?”

Joey shrugged. “I just think he won’t know what to do. He’s got a lot of stuff going on in L.A. right now. He can’t give that up for a while. But who knows. He surprises me all the time. Maybe he’ll be fine with it.”

The bell rang signifying their 15- minute curtain call. Becca quickly checked herself in the mirror once more and gave her curly, auburn hair a quick scrunch before she patted Joey on the shoulder, thanked him, and left, desperately trying to channel “Maureen” and not the confused person of “Becca” that she had suddenly become in her conversation with Joey.

“You look amazing,” Josh told her the next evening. He’d taken her to a small, intimate restaurant on the outskirts of the city that was adjacent to a boutique hotel in a ritzy part of the suburbs. She was wearing a tight fitting, strapless black dress, her hair was up off of her shoulders in ringlets, and she’d dabbed on the perfume that drove him crazy. She smiled at him sitting across from her. His chin was resting in the palm of his hand and he was holding her hand across the table with his other one. He was gazing at her as though she was the only other person in the room and Becca loved it. Josh always made her feel special.

“So do you,” she noted his thin black tie, his blue button down that brought out his eyes, and black pants. They looked like a couple from Vogue and Kelly had even told her that when she’d come over to pick up Dylan for the night.

“I am so in love with you, baby,” he told her, squeezing her hand. “When we get home, I don’t want to leave our bedroom the rest of the night.”

“Okay,” Becca smiled at him.  He could read right through her.

“What?” he squeezed her hand and looked at her with a puzzled expression.

“Josh,” she didn’t want to tell him now. Not after he’d taken her out for what she knew was supposed to be a very romantic evening. Especially because Dylan was spending the night away. She met his eyes with hers and grimaced at what she was about to say. “Josh, I’ve decided I’m going to stay in Orlando once the show ends. I just think it’s best for me but especially for Dylan. I know your work is in L.A. and I know we just got back together, but I’m tired of it out there and I need to think about what’s best for our daughter.”

He was reticent, pretending he didn’t hear what he’d just heard.

“Say something. Please, baby,” Becca tried to stroke his palm with her thumb, but he pulled it away.

“Say something. I mean, what do you want me to say? That I’m excited? I’m thrilled for you? You know I have to be in L.A. Everything I do is out there,” he folded his arms across his chest and looked away, then back at her. “Becca, we just started to make this work and it’s working. I just can’t fathom why you would think moving a part from one another, with my daughter by the way, is the best thing for anyone in this family!”

Becca went to say something, then shut her mouth. She pursed her lips and let out a shaky sigh.

“I love you. I don’t want to lose you again,” his voice was soft, his eyes looking deep into hers.

“I love you, too, Josh. And I don’t want to lose you, either,” Becca bit on the inside of her lip. “But don’t you think we’re older and more mature now than we were before? I feel like we can handle a long distance relationship now.” She took a breath before she continued. “And honestly, you know you’d come back to Orlando more often than not. Your family’s here and me and Dylan are here and one of your best friend’s lives here!”

Josh slowly nodded his head and leaned toward her, taking her hand back into his. “Becca, don’t you want to be able to live together and make this work in the same city, eventually?”

“I do,” she replied, placing her free hand on top of his. “I want that so much. But right now, I’m thinking of Dylan and I don’t want her being raised in that fast paced lifestyle where kids get tattoos when they’re 12 or start drinking when they’re six. I want her to have a normal childhood and go to a normal school.”

Josh chuckled under his breath, “Honey, what kids are you seeing that have tattoos at 12 years of age?”

“You know what I mean!” Becca had to giggle at herself and then gazed at Josh. “I’m gonna miss you. I want you to know that it wasn’t an easy decision. But I’m trying to get out of the mainstream and just do some professional shows around here. And Dylan and Briahna have hit it off so well, I can’t bear to tell her she has to move again.”

“You’re right, babe. You’re right,” he agreed with her. “But at least we have two months left together. And obviously, you’ll just stay in the house. No sense in moving again.”

“Thanks,” she lifted his hand to her mouth and kissed it, then rested her cheek against it. “You’re the best, Josh.”

Josh could only smile back at her. His heart was in shambles knowing that he only had two months left with Becca and Dylan and then they’d have to start all over again. He would have to find a way to get back to Orlando more often than not, that wasn’t even a question. His head told him everything would be ok and that life would continue as it had been in the last month since he’d been back with Becca. But his heart was aching and he held on to her hand as tightly as he could.

When they got into the car that evening, they were both quiet. The rest of the meal had been ok, but not the evening either of them had wanted. Becca had fought with herself all day as to whether or not she should say anything to him. And now that it was all out in the open, all she wanted was to be reassured that he was still in this, that he still loved her. She looked over at him as he concentrated on the road. He came up to a stoplight and started to hum along with the song playing on the radio. Becca leaned over to him and kissed his cheek softly. He turned to her and caught her lips with his before the light turned green. The person in the car behind them honked their horn, causing Josh to break away from her. As soon as they were home, they locked themselves in the bedroom for the rest of the night.

“I’m just saying, you might want to move your producing and all that out here,” Joey was telling Josh two days later, when they’d gone out to an impromptu lunch downtown.

“It’s not that easy, Joe. Most of these groups are based in L.A. and while I can mix in a separate studio, they want me there going through certain stuff with them. You remember what that’s like,” Josh sipped his water and then took a bite of his hamburger.

Joey shook his head. “I don’t know, man. I just think if you and Becca are a part again, it’s not gonna be good. Neither of you did well with that back in the day,”

“We were young, Joey. None of us knew what we were doing back then,” he pointedly looked at Joey, who threw his head back and laughed.

“Oh, you got me there. Cheating on my poor girlfriend every single time I was away. At least you didn’t do that,” Joey took a swig of beer. “Your problem was you were just too jealous.”

“My girlfriend was best friends with the best looking guy in the Backstreet Boys,” Josh reminded him.

“You were voted best looking member all the time out of our little group, lest you forget that!” Joey spread his hands and shook his head.

“Well, almost. Let’s not forget our little Wonder Boy,” Josh couldn’t help but take a stab at Justin.

“Anyway, all I’m saying is you gotta think about things, Josh. Do you want your family or do you want your career? Not saying if you go back to Hollywood that means you’re choosing one over the other. But you’re a workaholic when it comes to producing, you know that,” Joey finished off his last swig of beer. “Just promise me you’ll think about it before you rush back over there.”

Josh nodded. “Okay and if I do end up going back?”

“Well, then, I guess we’ll see what happens, won’t we?”