FEBRUARY 2006

Los Angeles

“Let’s try it one more time,” Josh said into the speaker at the recording studio. Today he was working with a new up and coming punk band that he’d heard about through other friends in the industry. They’d been singing mostly at underground clubs and had a following and Josh was trying out his latest song on them, seeing what they thought. He’d not slept well the night before, because he’d been talking to Becca for most of the evening and what had started off as a good bit of phone sex, turned into a fight about when Becca and Dylan would be back out to L.A. Becca had just scored a job as the host of a game show on Nickelodeon. Her schedule was tight and she’d promised as soon as she had a break, she’d be on the first flight out with Dylan.

“You know that won’t be til the end of March,” Josh had said to her.

“You know there’s nothing I can do about that, babe,” she’d replied. “I’m sorry. We knew this was gonna be hard.”

“I figured you’d be doing something part time,” he sighed into the phone. “Not something that takes up half the year.”

“It doesn’t take up half the year, Josh. We film for two months. That’s hardly half the year,”

“Well, I can’t get out there any sooner than April. So, we’re going to have to wait at least another month,”

“We’ve waited longer,”

“I don’t care. I miss you and I miss our daughter!”

“Josh, we’ve been over this….”

And round and round the conversation went. There was never any end to it. He’d hung up mad and irritated with her and he knew she was feeling just as much frustration with him. His cell phone beeped and he looked down to see he had a message from Tony.

“Hey, C, we’re going to a new piano bar opening in Burbank. You should join us. Call me back,”

Josh leaned back in his chair and listened to the group behind the glass partition. Going out tonight was exactly what he needed. If he went home, he’d hide away in his studio and do nothing but lament over the fact that he missed Becca and missed Dylan. And then he’d get even angrier that he wasn’t there with them. He called Tony back.

“Hey, it’s me. I got your message. I’ll be there,”

Orlando

Becca had been in a bad mood all day. She’d tried to snap out of it while the taping of the show was going on, but as soon as the director yelled “Cut!”, Becca ran to her dressing room and shut the door. She looked at a picture of her and Josh and Dylan that was taken months ago when he’d been in Orlando and picked it up. Her little family. She wanted him back so much. It just felt right when he was here. She had admitted to herself that it felt like he’d chosen work over her, though she hadn’t voiced it to him. The phone call the night before still made her cringe. They’d hung up so upset and mad with one another. She wanted to call him now. She wanted to apologize, but for what? She’d not done anything wrong. She had a job to fulfill and she was doing that. What did he expect her to do?

She slowly stood from her dressing table and sighed, picking up her phone and debating about calling him. If they were honest with each other, they were both mad that the other had decided to live apart. They had both chosen their careers over each other and Dylan. But Orlando just made sense to Becca. Probably because she’d never seen Dylan as happy as the little girl had been in the last 6 months. Then again, Dylan also missed her father and would beg Becca to go out to California almost every day.

“But I thought you liked Orlando?” Becca had replied, when Dylan yet again had asked about going to California.

“I do, Mommy. I just miss Daddy,” Dylan said. “Why can’t Daddy live with us? Why does he have to live in California?”

“Would you rather us live in California, too?” Becca asked her.

Dylan shook her head. “No. I like our house here,”

And that had solidified it for Becca. Dylan had already moved nearly every year of her short life and Becca couldn’t do that to her again. So they were back at square one, the never -ending argument that was “Who’s coming to see whom next?”

Becca dialed Josh’s number as she headed out of the studio and got on the tram that took her back to her car. The phone rang three times and he picked up, though she could barely hear him with the music playing in the background. She knew he was at work and debated about telling him she’d just call him back.

“I can talk,” Josh told her, and he got up from the booth and walked around the corner where it was quieter. “What’s up?”

“I don’t like this, Josh,” Becca sighed, stepping off the tram. “I feel like we were working so well out here and then….well, I don’t know. Is it because you love L.A. that much that you can’t find anywhere else to do work?”

Josh was silent for a second before he spoke. He took a breath. “No,” he said. “No, that’s not it. It’s just that more of these music acts are out here. That’s all. Becca, I promise you, when it’s the right time, I’ll move back. I swear. I know that Dylan is content and I’m not trying to uproot you. I guess I’m just frustrated with how all of this is turning out. I don’t like fighting over the phone with you. Especially after what we did.”

Becca had to smile as she got into her car. “I know. I like it when you talk dirty to me,”

“Don’t, baby. I can’t right now. You know that,”

“Fine,” she let out a small chuckle. “Well, anyway, I just wanted to clear up everything before I went on with the day. Because my shoot sucked this morning and all I could think about was our fight. Dylan even knew this morning. She saw it written all over my face. She asked me if we broke up. She was really worried.”

Josh cringed. He hated it when Dylan was upset and there was nothing he could do for her. “Did you tell her we were okay?”

“I told her we were going to be okay,”

“I miss you, Bec. So much,”

“I miss you, too, Josh,”

“We’re at least working it out and not ignoring it. We’re communicating,”

“I know. We’ve grown up, I guess,” Becca pulled out of the parking lot and began to drive out of the back lot of Universal. “I think this time, we’re going to be okay.”

Burbank

Josh hadn’t eaten anything most of the day. He’d munched on a few chips and grabbed a candy bar when he was getting gas on his way to Burbank, but now he was starving. It was nearing 9:30pm and he was meeting Tony and a few other friends at 9:45. He walked into the bar and spotted an empty booth, immediately walking towards it. A few moments later, Tony walked in with three guys and two girls. One of them was an actress on some television show that Josh couldn’t place and the other one he’d never seen before. The three guys –Jason, Matt, and Brett- were mutual friends of his and Tony’s. They sat down with him and exchanged hellos.

“So, how’s Becca?” Tony asked, after they had ordered a round of drinks.

“She’s good. I just talked to her this afternoon. She’s working on a kids show at Universal,” Josh replied. “And Dylan’s still hanging out everyday with Briahna and loves Orlando.”

“So you’re still together,” Tony stated and Josh nodded. “Good. It’s about time.” He turned to one of the girls sitting next to him. “C’s got this girl out in Orlando. He should’ve married her a long time ago, but he’s stubborn and wants to be an idiot.”

“Shut up,” Josh laughed at Tony’s attempt at a joke.

“Did you say Orlando?” the familiar girl asked Josh. “That’s where I’m from.”

“Oh yeah?” Josh smiled at her. “Sorry, what was your name again?”

“Tina Forlani,” she answered.

“What show are you on again?” Josh asked her. His beer arrived and he sipped it as he waited for her response. She blushed and looked over at Tony.

“I was Miss December in Playboy last year,” Tina laughed softly. “Guess you read that issue?”

“Are you kidding? C never misses an issue!” Jason slapped Josh on the back. “ ‘Course he doesn’t let Becca know that. She’d kill him.”

“Becca knows,” Josh threw Jason’s arm off of him. “She just doesn’t know I keep subscribing to them out here is all.”

“Wow, you’re sneaky,” Tina shook her head at him, sarcastically. “So this chick. She’s your girlfriend?”

“Yep. And the mother of my daughter,” Josh replied.

“Why isn’t she out here with you then?” Tina wanted to know.

“Her job is in Orlando and mine’s here,” Josh shrugged, suddenly wondering if Tina might be coming onto him.

“That’s a shame. I would think if she loved you, she’d be out here with you,” her hand rested on his upper thigh and Josh knew right away she was coming onto him, no doubt.

“She loves me very much,” Josh defended the absent Becca. “Right now, it’s just the way things are.”

“That’s awful though. You having to hide something as silly as a Playboy from her,” Tina clucked her tongue. “If you were my boyfriend, I wouldn’t care what you looked at.”

“It’s more or less that our daughter doesn’t find them,” Josh tried to move away from her advances and knew he should be careful about drinking too much tonight.

“Huh,” Tina just nodded and strummed her fingernails on the table. She sipped her Cosmo and made sure Josh was watching her when she licked the sugary rim with her tongue.

“Dude, be careful,” Tony told him an hour later, when he and Josh had gone up to the bar. “She’s all over you.”

“Why’d you bring her?” Josh snapped at Tony. “I can’t shake her. And she’s being sexy on purpose. Really, Tony? You thought a Playboy model would be a good idea?”

“She’s friends with Ana,” Tony said, pointing to the other girl that had come with them. “Ana’s a cousin of Jason’s in town and he was just trying to show her L.A.” Tony took his gin and tonic from the bar. “And don’t blame me for her coming onto you. Control yourself. You’ve never cheated on Becca before so why would you start tonight, right?”

The next morning, Josh didn’t want to wake up. He’d been so drunk that he’d called a cab to take him home. His heart was racing now because Tina was sleeping next to him in his bed. All he’d remembered is that he had gotten drunk. Wasted. Sloshed. Trashed. Pissed. Whatever it was called, he’d done it and then some. And he’d slept with another woman. He felt sick to his stomach from the hangover and from the guilt he was feeling. As if to make matters worse, his phone was buzzing next to the bed. He looked at the caller ID and his heart sunk. It was Becca. It was noon in Orlando and she was probably calling with Dylan on the line. Josh sprang out of bed as fast as he could and walked to the stairs, sitting down on the top stair.

“Hi, Daddy!” Dylan’s voice came through on the other end after he’d picked up.

“Hi sweet girl,” Josh’s heart was beating in his chest. He wanted Tina gone, but he also wanted her to stay in his room long enough to get finished with this phone call. He didn’t want to have to tell Becca over the phone.

“Daddy, guess what? Mommy got a day off next weekend and we’re coming out to see you!”

His heart sank and danced all at the same time. “That’s wonderful, baby,”

“Yeah, and Mommy says that we can go to Disneyland, too!”

“We’ll do whatever you want, honey,”

“Oh, Daddy, and guess what else? Me and Briahna are doing gymnastics together. We’re in the same class! It’s so fun!”

“That’s wonderful, Dylan,”

With every sentence she spoke, Josh’s heart was sinking more and more into his stomach. He knew that Becca would be able to tell a difference in his voice when she got on the phone. But he’d do his best to act as though everything was fine.

“Hey you,” Becca greeted him. “Sorry, our little chatterbox is full of information today. I finally told her to go play in her room while I talked to you. So, did you like our surprise?”

“Uh huh,” Josh answered. “I can’t wait to see you.”

“What?” Becca could tell there was a crack in his voice. He didn’t sound like his usual self. “What’s wrong?”

And then, at that moment, Tina emerged from the bedroom. “Hey, JC!” she called and Josh cringed at her voice. “Can you call me a cab?”

Maybe Becca hadn’t heard that. Maybe he could pass it off as the television.

“Who’s that?” Becca asked, quietly.

“Becca, hang on,” he covered the receiver and glared at Tina, mouthing “Yes! Shh!”

“Josh, who was that?!” Becca asked again, her voice edgy.

“Nothing. Nobody,” Josh winced, knowing she wouldn’t buy it.

“Nobody. Okay. That’s good,” Becca was calm. “So, I’m supposed to be okay with ‘nobody’ asking you to get her a cab? What’s going on?”

He had no choice. He had to tell her. He stood up and walked to the end of the hall next to Dylan’s room. “Becca, I got a little wasted last night. And I didn’t mean any of it, but I slept with someone,”

Becca was silent. Her head was spinning. How did she respond to that? Was he joking? Was this a test to see how well she could handle stress? Her breathing became unsteady and she didn’t know whether to scream at him or burst into tears.

“Say something, baby. Please-“