“Becca, just tonight. Please,” he held her close to him. “Don’t go.”

“Just tonight,” she whispered, leaning in to kiss him. “I love you, Josh. I love you so much.”

“I love you, too,” he entered her slowly, his face covering hers with kisses and flicks of his tongue. “Does this feel okay?”

“It always feels okay,” Becca said and wrapped her leg around him. “Go in deeper, baby. Mmm.”

“Becca?!”

Becca opened her eyes and looked over at Seth next to her in bed. He was eyeing her curiously and she felt her entire body on fire from the dream she was having. Her auburn hair fell around her face and for that she was thankful. He couldn’t see just how red she was. Nor could he see the beads of sweat that had formed on her forehead. Was that a dream? It had felt fantastically real. She could even feel her insides convulsing from it.

“You were moaning like crazy, sweetheart!” Seth chuckled. “Were you dreaming about me again?”

Becca was glad she was an actress. Otherwise, her face might’ve given it away. No, it was most certainly not about Seth. Seth could never get her to do what she did with Josh. Ever. She bit on her lower lip and smiled sheepishly at her fiancé.

“Yes,” she lied and cleared her throat. “Yes, I was.”

“We could make that dream a reality,” Seth tugged at her arm and Becca could only succumb, even though she was not at all in the mood to have sex. No, she was in the mood…just not in the mood for Seth. Her mind raced as he began to make love to her. Kelly’s words haunted her from the other day. Do you still love him? No. She had to push it away. She had to focus. Seth was with her now. He was kissing her just like she liked. He was touching her in all the right places. It was perfect. Only, it wasn’t perfect. Because Josh knew how to do all of it better. Every single movement. Every single touch. Every single kiss. Becca closed her eyes and tried to be in the moment with Seth, but her mind was wandering back to that dream. Back to Josh inside of her.

“Baby, are you there yet?” Seth looked down at her, sweat pouring from him.

“Uh huh,” Becca could only think of Josh on top of her. Josh’s body. Josh’s voice. And she knew. She knew the answer to Kelly’s question.

Becca rolled away from Seth when they were finished, feigning sleep and closing her eyes. For some reason, she hadn’t felt guilty. She’d just made love to her fiancé while thinking of her ex-boyfriend. She should’ve felt extremely guilty. But she didn’t. Not one bit. She tried to think about Josh again, hoping that dream would come back to her as she drifted off to sleep, but it didn’t, and the next morning she knew she had to talk to him. She had to tell him the truth.

And then she had to break up with Seth.

“I was thinking we could go off this weekend,” Seth interrupted her thoughts as she sat in the living room drinking her coffee.

“Huh?” Becca snapped to attention. “Oh, um, I don’t think I can.”

“Why?” Seth came and sat down next to her, his hand rubbing her thigh. “I thought you didn’t have any work for a few weeks?”

That was true. Becca was in and out of professional theatre in Orlando and in three weeks she’d begin practicing for Proof. She had to think fast. Why couldn’t she go off with him this weekend? Other than the fact that she was probably going to be moving out of the house and back in with Josh and Dylan. And that made her ecstatic.

“Are you okay, sweetheart?” his hand moved to her face and stroked it with his fingers. “You’ve been acting off all morning.”

“I just think we need to stay here this weekend is all,” she replied, as nonchalantly as possible.

“Dylan’s at Josh’s for a whole week. You don’t want to take advantage of not having her around?”

Becca shot a look at him. The way he’d just said that made it sound like Dylan was some sort of a pest. “Not having her around?!” Becca snapped at him. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing. No, I didn’t mean it at all like you’re thinking, I was just saying, we have time to ourselves and we could get away. Maybe take one of those three day cruises out of Port Canaveral?” Seth moved closer to her. “You know it would be nice to get away. Just me and you.” He leaned in and kissed her. “And after last night, I’m certainly ready to have you all to myself again. You were amazing.”

Becca smiled but only because she knew she was thinking of Josh the whole time and was probably giving it her all. She looked at Seth and sighed. “I’ll think about it,” she told him, knowing that if things went the way she had hoped they would today, she wouldn’t need to worry about it either way.

“Good,” he stood up and pulled her up with him, kissing her once more. “I’ll see you later tonight.”

“Okay,” Becca said and watched as he walked out through the garage to get to his car.

She let out a shaky sigh, almost not believing all of it. Was that dream supposed to be prophetical or something? Was she supposed to have questioned it? All Becca knew was that it had forced her to realize who it was she loved and whom she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. And soon everything began to make sense. Josh had been in her life for longer than any other person next to her family. He had doubted her. He had smothered her at first. He had cheated on her. But at the end of the day, she knew. She knew she was supposed to be with him. Nobody else loved her like Josh had. He knew her inside and out and so much better than anyone else. And he was the father of their child. It just made sense.

She thought about all the times he’d told her he loved her. When he messed up, he was the first to admit it. There had been so many times that he’d apologized and wanted her back. He was jealous for her. He wanted her. He’d always wanted her. She’d just been too stupid and blind to see it. Even after Dylan. Even after all of his attempts to pursue her. Had she really told him once to stop pursuing her? How could she? How could she ever think that he didn’t love her? And how could she have ever wanted to be away from him when he’d moved back to L.A. Yes, Dylan was a big part of that. She didn’t want their daughter to grow up in the fast paced environment and they’d both been happy in Orlando. But Becca knew that she was selfish. Josh had been, too, and he would be the first to admit it. If they were smart about it, they would have found a compromise to be in the same place. And right now, Becca would do anything to be with him. Yes, even uproot Dylan and move back to California. 

She got ready slowly that morning making sure to put the right touches of make up on her face. Wearing the fragrance of perfume that she knew drove him crazy. She wore her hair down and scrunched her curls the way he liked it. She looked at herself in the mirror and couldn’t help but grin. She hadn’t felt this free in years. Her spirit soared inside of her, thinking of what was coming. How she would tell him, she didn’t know. All she knew was that she was going to tell him today. As she drove towards his house, she felt giddy inside, like all of the times years ago when she’d step off the plane and run into his arms after having been apart for weeks on end. There wasn’t any doubt that this was the right thing to do. This time, she knew. She knew it was for certain that they were going to be together again.

Josh sat on his back porch and lazily ate a piece of toast. He’d dropped off Dylan at school and as excited as he was to have her to himself for a week, his mind had been on the conversation he’d had with Becca a few days before. She had broken on the phone. He hadn’t heard her so upset in years. Lately, she’d barely spoken to him when he picked up Dylan or she dropped Dylan off at his house. They were cordial but that was it. He wondered how it had ever gotten to that. They were pros at arguing, there was no question there. The fights they’d gotten into when they were younger were stupid. He shouldn’t have been so jealous of Nick Carter, for god’s sake. She and Nick didn’t even speak anymore and after he’d sat back and thought about it, he knew they’d only been friends by circumstance. Nothing more, nothing less. All of the relationships either of them had with other people had been for nothing more than sex and companionship. He knew that when he and Becca had been together, it was for real. Nobody else could make him feel that way.

He wondered now if it was too late. He wondered if their conversation had just been nothing more than Becca venting and getting out her frustration. The thought of Dylan having to be raised like she was being raised made him sick at his stomach. And the thought of her having to be in the house with that lying bastard, Seth, made it even worse. How could Becca be so blind? How could she not see that he, Josh, would care for her and love her more than anyone else ever could? It was stubbornness and he knew it.

The doorbell broke his train of thought and Josh put his toast down and went inside to answer it.

“Hi,” Becca greeted him, her voice shaking, her arms folded in front of her chest. She was breathing and that’s all that had mattered to her. When she’d turned onto his street, her heart had started to beat so loud she was praying he wouldn’t hear it. Her nerves welled up inside of her and she had no idea what she was going to say to him now. Him. Josh. The man she loved. He was standing right in front of her.

“Becca!” Josh broke into a grin and opened the door wider. “Come on in. Do you want coffee?” Josh felt as if he were talking a mile a minute. “Sit down. Or you can stand. Do you want to go outside?”

“Did you have speed this morning for breakfast?” Becca couldn’t help but tease him. He laughed and they locked eyes. This time, Becca didn’t break her stare. “No. We can sit in here. That’s fine.” She took a seat on the couch and he sat across from her.

“This is a surprise,” Josh finally said, resting his arm on the back of the couch. “Never thought you’d just drop by out of the blue.”

Becca looked down at her hands and then up at him again. “Yeah, well, there’re a lot of things I never thought I’d do in these last 10 years.”

Josh didn’t say anything, just waited for her to continue. He wondered what all of this had to mean. Why she was here. Why she seemed somewhat nervous and giddy all at the same time.

She sighed, cleared her throat, and continued. “So, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately,” she began. “A lot of thinking. I know I cried to you on the phone the other day. I’m sorry for that, but I think you probably guessed that things weren’t so great with Seth.”

“I didn’t know what to think,” Josh replied, shifting on the couch. “I just wanted you to be okay. I think that’s all that was going through my head. Are you okay? And why aren’t things great with Seth?” He glanced at her left hand. Her engagement ring was still intact.

“Well, I’m starting to understand why Dylan isn’t such a fan. I’m pretty sure Seth just puts up with her,” Becca twisted her ring around on her finger. “The other day he mentioned her going to boarding school-“

“Over my dead body,” Josh interrupted.

“Oh, I know. Don’t worry. It’s not happening,” Becca assured him. “And it’s other stuff, too.” She took a breath. She was about to go for it. She was going to tell him she loved him. Calculating each word over in her head, she sighed once more and continued. “Like the fact that I don’t even know if I love him. Or if I ever loved him. Like the fact that last night, I was thinking about someone else when we were having sex.” She looked right into Josh’s eyes and he didn’t blink. “Like the fact that I’m an idiot and have been in love with you since I was 22.”

He said nothing, only stared at her in disbelief. Had he heard right? And was this really happening? Was this a prank? Was Ashton Kutcher outside Punking him?

“Josh?” Becca reached over and touched his leg. “Did you hear me?”

“Yeah. Yeah, sorry, Becca, I just, I can’t believe it,” he let out a shaky breath. “I-I mean. Wow. Wow.” He rubbed his face with his hands and then looked back at her. She was sitting across from him and smiling subtly, waiting for him to say something. “So can I ask what this means now?”

She moved closer to him on the couch and put her hand on his arm, moving it down and linking her fingers through his. “It means that I’m breaking up with Seth. And it means that I want to be with you. For good,” she looked at their fingers intertwined and then back at him. “I love you, Josh. I know that these last few years have been awful for both of us. And I’ll do whatever it takes so that we’re on the same side of the continent. I’ll move back to L.A. I’ll move back to New York. I’ll move to Africa if that’s where you want to go.”

“Come here,” he pulled her into his lap and soon they began to kiss like the two lost lovers that they were. “I’ve missed you, baby. So much.” His lips trailed from hers to her jawline, and then to her neck. Becca ran her hands through his hair and then took his face in her hands, looking down at him and slowly lifting her blouse over her head. He watched as she reached behind her and let her bra slip off of her body and land in a puddle between them. She leaned back and pulled him on top of her, watching him as his lips trailed down her stomach. Her heart beat faster, she felt completely at ease with him like this.

He lifted himself up long enough to pull his shirt over his head and she helped him undo his jeans and dragged them off of him. She took his hand and placed it on her breast, locking eyes with him and smiling seductively at him.

“Oh, you like to tell me what to do now, huh?” he growled, his lips touching hers as he stroked her breast slowly.

Becca could only slightly chuckle at him and arched her back, her legs wrapping around his waist. She watched him tug the hem of her underwear and cleaved to him as he slid gradually into her.

“You feel so good, baby,” she whispered, holding onto him. “Mmm.” She let herself go and turned him on with her sighs and groans of complete pleasure. How had she ever been with anyone else but Josh? How could she ever think that anyone else would compare? She moved with him so easily. Like they were always meant to fit this way.

Josh rested his chin on her chest a few minutes later, looking at her and lazily kissing her as they began to breath steadily again. “I can’t believe this is really happening,” he said softly. “I never thought you’d be with me like this ever again.”

Becca played with his hair and smiled at him. “Me either. But it just makes sense. I can’t be with anyone but you, Josh. You’re it,” He reached up to peck her lips softly and then rested his head on her once more. “I do have to go at some point and break off the engagement.”

“Yeah, that’s probably a good idea,” he snickered.

“And move my things back here,”

“Yet another brilliant idea,”

“And we have to pick up Dylan today,”

Josh couldn’t help but grin at that. “She’s going to be crazy excited,”

Becca sluggishly began to move off of the couch.

“Don’t go,” he tugged at her arm as she started to get dressed. “We were just starting to have fun!”

Becca laughed at him. “We’ll have fun tonight. I promise,” she bent to kiss him. “I need to talk to Seth and get everything out of his house.”

Josh stood with her and pulled her back into his arms. “I’ll be waiting,”

“You’d better be,” Becca kissed him hard on the mouth. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”

He walked Becca to the door and kissed her once more. This time, there was no pain in his chest. No regrets. Nothing. Because he knew she’d be back in his arms that night.