The plan was to leave New York early Christmas Eve morning, drive to the outskirts of DC where Josh’s family lived, drop off Dylan and the rental car at the airport, fly to Nashville, and be home in time for Christmas Eve with Evan and her family. Three days later, Becca would fly back to New York and Josh would fly from DC to New York with Dylan. That was the plan and so far, Becca couldn’t see anything going wrong with it. Evan was flying out later and would meet her at her parents’ home when she landed. It would be fine. And as much as she wasn’t looking forward to not spending time with her daughter on Christmas, she was excited to have this first Christmas with Evan at her parents’ home.

It was when she got into traffic outside of DC that she heard the news reports of snow and sleet coming into the northeast and affecting flights all the way from Boston down to Virginia Beach. The weather had turned somewhat nasty on her drive, but she’d managed so far and Dylan was quite content in the backseat asleep. Becca looked at the time and saw she had seven hours before her flight took off. Not a problem. It might clear up. Or maybe she could see if there was an earlier flight. She gripped the steering wheel and shook any sort of negative thoughts about this plan out of her mind. No. She would be home with her parents and Evan tonight.

But by the time she pulled into the Chasez’s driveway, the snow had started to come down in huge flakes and there were reports of black ice forming on the roads. Becca pretended not to care. Josh would take her to the airport and she’d just see what was going on for herself there. She got Dylan out of her car seat, grabbed a duffel bag and small suitcase filled with the baby’s clothes, toys, and Christmas presents for Josh and his family, and headed toward the front door of the Chasez home. Before she could knock, Josh opened the door, a frown formed on his face.

“Your flight was canceled,” he told her, grimly.

He has to be joking. He must be joking. He just wants to freak me out. Becca searched his face to see if there was any hint of teasing. There wasn’t. Josh was dead serious.

“I don’t believe it,” she felt tears forming in her eyes. “Well, is there one later?” She walked into the house, Josh immediately taking Dylan from her and hugging on his daughter. Becca set Dylan’s things in the foyer and followed Josh into the den where his parents and siblings were watching the weather forecast. Hellos were exchanged between them and Becca, and Dylan was of course the center of attention until Josh pulled Becca aside and let her know about the flight.

“I called the airline and couldn’t get through. We looked online and it looks like all flights from New York to here are canceled,” he told her, solemnly.

“I better call Evan and see if he’s stuck, too,” Becca turned away from him and pulled out her cell phone from her purse.

Ten minutes later, she was sitting in the kitchen with Josh, while his mother put on a pot of coffee. Evan’s flight wasn’t going to take off until tomorrow morning and her flight, it looked like, wasn’t going anywhere until tomorrow either. She had made a call to her parents and let them know she’d be getting in Christmas Day afternoon and to go ahead without her and Evan. She hated this feeling of being able to do nothing about this situation. Even if she wanted to brave the weather – which a part of her kind of did – there wasn’t anyway of getting out of the neighborhood because the roads were blocked due to ice. It was sort of a bad dream. Spending Christmas Eve with her ex and his family. She was obviously the odd one out and wanted desperately to escape to the guest bedroom and cry.

“I’m so sorry about your plans, Becca,” Josh’s mother told her, coming over with a cup of coffee for her. “But we will try to make you feel right at home. Roy and I are going to church later this evening and you’re welcome to come with us. I was going to take Dylan so that some of our friends could see her.”

Becca could only nod and force a smile. She’d always liked his family. In fact, when they’d broken up, they’d been one of the things that had made her heartbroken over it because she’d always felt like one of them when everyone was together. “Sure. That’s fine,” Becca answered, sipping her coffee slowly. Mrs. Chasez began to busy herself elsewhere and Josh reached over and squeezed her hand.

“I’m really sorry, Bec. I know this is the last place you wanted to spend Christmas,” Josh was trying to be as sympathetic as he could manage, but he was secretly glad this was happening. They’d get to spend a real Christmas together like a family. He didn’t voice this to anyone, but kept it to himself. He would always love her, even if she never reciprocated it back again and even if they both ended up with other people.

“No, it’s fine,” Becca managed to smile somewhat and sighed. “It will be fine. I’ll just catch the first flight I can tomorrow.” She hoped it was soon. She also hoped it wouldn’t be drastically uncomfortable the rest of the evening and that she could find some sort of enjoyment being here with Josh’s family.

“Do you know how awkward this is?” she said softly to Josh. “I’m the only one in this house who doesn’t belong here.”

Josh looked at her questioningly. “What do you mean by that?!” he asked, a little defensive. “You’re the mother of my child. You have every right to be here.”

Becca rolled her eyes. “Josh, we’re not together. I haven’t seen your parents in two years. I should be home right now with my parents and Evan. And by the way, where is Tara? I figured you’d be spending Christmas with her.”

“She, um, wanted to be with her family,” Josh muttered. The truth was, Tara had not really been to keen on spending the holiday with Dylan, but Josh wasn’t about to tell Becca that. The two seemed to get along on the surface, but he knew Becca well enough to know that she didn’t really care for Tara so much in the end. “Besides, we get a Christmas with Dylan together. Or at least a Christmas Eve.” He reached over and squeezed her shoulder with her hand. “Please don’t feel like you’re not wanted here. Because I can promise you it’s not true.”

Becca relaxed somewhat and finished her coffee. She went back into the living room where everyone was gathered, watching various Christmas movies throughout the evening. By dinner, Becca had almost forgotten how terrible her day had become and had enjoyed catching up with Josh’s sister and watching Dylan enjoy her grandparents. At seven, Josh’s parents left for church with Dylan and Tyler and Heather. The roads had let up enough for them to drive the mile or so up the road to their church. Josh and Becca were left alone, because Becca was exhausted from traveling all day and Josh had suggested they stay back and finish watching White Christmas. While the movie played in the background, they decided to surprise everyone and make chocolate chip cookies. Becca didn’t want to admit it, but it was probably the most fun she’d had on Christmas Eve in a while. Even if it was with her ex-boyfriend.

“So, tell me about Evan,” Josh had just placed the last of the cookie dough on the cookie sheet and was putting it in the oven. “I hope he likes kids.”

“He does,” Becca licked her thumb and forefinger, which had remnants of cookie dough left on them. “He’s really great. We have a lot in common. He and Dylan get along…” she trailed off and looked over at Josh, who was watching her and leaning against the stove. “What? You asked me.”

Josh shook his head and sighed. “No. It’s nothing. It’s just, I see how well we get along right now and I just hate that we couldn’t work it out. If anything for Dylan’s sake, you know? I mean, her life is going to be filled going back and forth between us and this year is one thing but what about next year? We live on opposite coasts now. I just don’t think we were fair to each other. Maybe we didn’t try hard enough,” he came closer to her and Becca bit on her lower lip. “Do you ever think about that, Bec? Cause I do. I know we’re with other people and all that, but whenever we’re together with Dylan, it goes through my mind and tonight’s been so great that I just-“

“No, Josh,” Becca cut him off. “Stop. You know we’re terrible together. And I don’t want to be with you because it’s convenient for Dylan. I want to be with you because I love you and I don’t think I do anymore, in that way.” She went to put the mixer in the sink and went to turn on the faucet, but Josh pulled her arm and forced her to turn and look at him.

“But could you again?” he was inches from her now and Becca felt her heart racing. He tilted her chin up and looked down at her. “If there wasn’t Evan, could you love me like you did again?”

“Josh…” she looked up at him. “What about Tara? Don’t you love her?”

“I’m not talking about Tara and me. I’m talking about you and me. Don’t we deserve to give it another shot?” he stroked her cheek with his finger and Becca felt a chill run down her spine. This was not supposed to be happening. “Or what if, for just one night, we-“

Becca wanted to pull herself away from him, but she couldn’t. “No,” she was barely whispering now. Her voice had gotten caught in her throat and she couldn’t think staright. “Josh…no. I don’t want to-“ he cut her off and kissed her hard on the mouth, backing her into the sink.

“Just for tonight, Becca,” he whispered in her ear. “No one has to know. We’re good at this part. You know we are.”

Becca’s mind was racing. Just for one night. Josh and her making love. No one was home. It was Christmas Eve. He was being so persistent with her right now. His hands seem to roam everywhere all at once and all she could do was stand there, frozen it seemed, yet she felt her hands moving over him, too. And then she snapped to life when she remembered that tomorrow she’d see Evan and she knew how guilty she’d feel.

“No,” she stopped kissing him and pushed him away. “No, Josh. It’s not right. We’re both in committed relationships and I can’t do this and neither can you. You know you can’t. You don’t want to be that guy.”

“What guy? The guy who wants to be with his daughter’s mother? Maybe I do,” he pulled her back to him and tried to kiss her, but Becca wouldn’t have it.

“Josh, I said no. I’m sorry. I can’t do that to Evan,” she walked away from him and went back to the guest bedroom she would be sleeping in that night. She sat on the bed and let herself catch her breath. He’d definitely stirred up something in her. She was hot and bothered and hadn’t been that way in a long time. No, not even with Evan. And if she was honest with herself, the only man that had known exactly what to do was Josh. But she couldn’t do that to her boyfriend. Evan was just what she needed right now and sleeping with Josh would only throw a huge wrench into something she didn’t need to deal with. She laid back on the bed and looked up at the ceiling, trying to get her heart and her head to stop doing battle with each other. She needed to be in Nashville and with Evan and as far away from him as possible right now. She had to be strong.

Then why was she fighting the urge to get up and go back in the room with him? She turned over and tried not to think about it. Maybe she’d just fall asleep and when she woke up, it would be time to go. But her mind wouldn’t turn off. She kept thinking about him pressing her against that sink and had to smile to herself when she remembered all of the times when they’d first started dating that they couldn’t keep their hands off each other. She’d gushed once to Janelle about how they’d done it in every room and in every bathroom at his house in Orlando. And he knew what to do. Boy, did he know.

She got up slowly from the bed and walked towards the door. It was just one time. No one would know. Her heart raced as she walked back to the living room. No one would know. She would know. Josh would know. But no one else. Becca had to steady herself. Was she really going to do this? What would it solve? Nothing. It wouldn’t solve a thing. But for some reason it had started not to matter. Josh was sitting on the couch, aimlessly flipping through the channels on the television. He looked up when he saw her standing in the doorway. Their eyes locked and Becca sauntered towards him. He stood up and pulled her into a hug. She looked up at him and he smiled.

“Just one night,” she whispered, feeling his lips come down on hers.

“Just one night,” he answered her, and led her back to his bedroom.

Becca landed in Nashville at 5:00PM sharp. She’d managed to catch the first flight out of DC, which was supposed to have been at 6:00AM, but there had been a three hour delay and then a layover in Atlanta. She was just glad to be out of the house first thing, before she had to see Josh again. After they’d slept together, Becca had felt the way she knew she would and guilt overwhelmed her. They were great at acting fine in front of the Chasez’s and even managed to put Dylan to bed together. But after that, Becca didn’t join in playing games or watching more movies. She’d feigned sleep and told everyone she needed to rest up so she could leave in time the next day. The truth was, she didn’t sleep at all and was more than happy when she was the first one awake on Christmas morning. She quickly kissed Dylan good-bye and left a note by the coffee pot for the family, thanking them for everything. By the time she was on the plane, she let herself cry yet again and wondered how in the world she was going to survive seeing her boyfriend after what she’d done to him the night before.