“What’s wrong?” Evan pulled Becca against him after they’d made love later that evening. “You’ve been so quiet all day. Are you missing Dylan?” he nuzzled his nose into her neck and kissed her. Becca looked up at her boyfriend, the night before washing over her like a wave of regret. Her stomach had been in knots all day and when she’d landed and seen him waiting for her at the end of the walkway at the airport, she wanted to throw up from the instant pangs of guilt. Once they’d been at home with her family, she chalked it up to being tired. And when they made love, it was all Becca could do not to think about how it had been with Josh.

“Yes,” she whispered and that was true. She did miss her daughter. Only Dylan wasn’t the reason that Becca felt as if she was the world’s biggest liar and cheat. She looked up at Evan and forced a smile. “I’m sorry, babe. It’s just been a long day.” Evan returned the smile and kissed her again. Normally, she would have been reassured. Normally. But this wasn’t normal. She’d never slept with an ex and then been with her boyfriend in less than 24 hours. It was late now and Becca knew that feigning sleep was the only solution to try and make it all go away. She kissed Evan back and closed her eyes, listening to him as he fell asleep almost instantly. She was sure he could hear her unsteady breathing or the rate at which her heart was beating. She was so guilty and ashamed and never had felt this way before about anything. And how awful of a girlfriend was she if she kept this a secret? But it had to be a secret. She had told herself that last night when she went to bed with Josh.

After two hours of pretending to be asleep, Becca couldn’t do it anymore. She rolled out of bed, grabbed her cell phone, and went into the bathroom to call Josh. He answered on the first ring.

“I have to tell him,” Becca spoke softly, but could still hear her voice echo against the tiles.

“Becca, don’t be ridiculous. You know last night was just-“ he tried to reason with her but Becca interrupted him.

“I don’t care what it was. I feel awful and I can’t sleep because of it,” she sat down against the sink. “Look, you know as well as I do that I can’t keep something like this bottled up. I shouldn’t have done that, Josh. I shouldn’t have slept with you.”

He was glad she couldn’t see him wincing on the other end. For Josh, being with Becca had been the best present he could’ve received. It had felt right. Perfect, in fact. He woke up that morning wondering why in the world they weren’t back together. But she’d been gone before he could tell her that. “Well, I’m sorry that you feel that way. But there’s nothing we can do about it. Do what you want, but I think you’re making a mistake.” A part of him felt relieved. Maybe this was what needed to happen. Evan would break up with her and Becca would realize that she loved Josh all along.

“Then it’s my mistake and I’ll deal with it. I just can’t keep lying to him. He’s my boyfriend,”

“Lying to me about what?”

Becca gasped and looked up to see Evan standing in the doorway of the bathroom. He’d heard as much as he needed to hear and Becca knew it was only going to be a longer night than either one of them wanted to have.

January 2003

“I don’t care that it’s ‘your’ day or whatever, JC! I’m your girlfriend and I’m in town and Becca will understand!” Tara was practically whining and shouting at the same time at Josh. They were standing in the lobby of The Four Seasons and Josh could feel a billion people staring at them.

“Keep your voice down!” he hissed at her. “I don’t live here, okay? And I’m sorry, but my daughter is my main priority right now. I don’t get to see her very much and Becca is shooting all day. So, you can either come with us or I’ll meet you for dinner tonight.”

Tara glared at him. “I cannot believe I wasted an airline flight on you! No, I don’t want to come around New York City with you and a baby! I don’t care if she’s your daughter or not. Do you know how much time I had to take off from my shoot?”

“I really don’t care,” Josh muttered and ran a hand through his hair. He let out a big sigh and shook his head. “Look, I’m leaving. I have to meet Becca and Dylan in ten minutes and it’s going to take fifteen to get over to their side of town. So I’m sorry, but my mind’s made up.”

Tara rolled her eyes and glared at him. “So’s mine. I’m going back to L.A. first thing. Don’t bother calling when you get back, babe.” She sashayed her way over to the Concierge desk and Josh knew she was expecting him to run after her, but he didn’t. Instead, he turned and headed outside where his limo was waiting on him.

Becca was standing outside of her apartment building when the limo pulled up. Dylan was fastened to her side, clutching a baby doll and resting her head on Becca’s shoulder. When she saw Josh, her face lit up and she immediately began to reach for him.

“Sorry I’m late,” Josh apologized, reaching for Dylan. “How are you?”

The last three weeks had been rough on Becca. Evan had promptly broken up with her, just as Josh had expected, and had flown back to New York almost just as promptly. Even though Becca had expected it, she was still not in the best of spirits and Josh felt partially, if not mostly, responsible. But Becca wouldn’t let him take blame. She had known this might happen and even though she missed Evan, she’d realized there had been many things about him that didn’t fit what she needed right now.

“I’m okay,” Becca smiled. “How are you?” She couldn’t help but notice how good her ex looked. He could pull off almost anything with those blue eyes. His hair had gotten considerably longer than it had been in a while, and he’d lightened it somewhat so that the darker shade of brown was now almost a light blonde. Nonetheless, he still looked pretty good. She shook it off and began to hand him Dylan’s things.

“Good. Tara broke up with me. But you know, it is what it is,” he sighed and kissed his daughter’s cheek.

“When?” Becca asked, as she helped Josh put Dylan in her stroller. The toddler whimpered somewhat, but Josh immediately pulled her favorite stuffed animal out from the diaper bag and Dylan began to babble happily in her own little language.

“About twenty minutes ago,” Josh shrugged. “She didn’t really want to compete with the world’s most beautiful little girl.” He looked down at Dylan and grinned. Dylan grinned back at him. “We did a good job, Bec. Look at her. She’s beautiful.”

“I’m sorry about that, Josh. Tara, I mean,” Becca rolled her eyes. “To be honest, I never liked her anyway.” They began to walk towards the limo and Becca kissed Dylan before getting inside. “You be good for Daddy. I love you, pretty girl.” She looked up at Josh. “We did do a good job. She’s amazing. Have fun, ok?”

Josh nodded and shut the door to the limo for Becca. The car drove away and immediately Dylan began calling for her mother.

“Mama! Mama!” she whimpered, and Josh knelt down next to her and kissed his daughter’s forehead.

“Hey, you. Who’s this?” he pointed to himself and Dylan immediately burst into a grin.

“Dad-dy,” she giggled.

“That’s right. Daddy. And Daddy’s going to take you all over New York today while Mama’s at work,” he stood to his feet and then began to push the stroller towards the next block. He wondered how much longer he’d have to go back and forth between New York and L.A. just to spend time with his child. And he wondered how long it would be before he and Becca ever came to their senses about their feelings for each other. He’d seen the gaze she’d given him when he had first walked up. She’d tried to hide it, but Josh wasn’t stupid. He’d seen it so many times in Becca’s eyes when they’d dated.

But that had been so long ago it seemed. Three whole years had passed. Granted he’d gotten the best thing in the world out of it and that was being Dylan’s father. But he wanted Becca to complete the package. It was just convincing her that was the issue. The light changed on the street sign and Josh crossed the block and pretty soon all he could think about was Becca and how he had to win her back.