July 2003

Becca looked at the contract in front of her. A six-week appearance as “Maureen” in Rent on the West End in London. She’d always wanted to do live theatre professionally and here was her chance. The movie had wrapped a while ago and she’d made a few appearances on television shows and was in talks for a sitcom with Josh Hartnett, but she hadn’t heard anything in weeks about it.

“They’ll fly you and Dylan out in a week. You’ll start rehearsals as soon as you land and you’ll be back in September. It’s a good gig, Becca,” Leo prodded her. Becca only nodded and fiddled with the pen in her hand.

“It’s amazing, Leo. I just…” she sighed and tried to choose her words carefully. “Josh. I just don’t know if I can take Dylan away from Josh for that long.”

“It’s not like he’s as busy as he was,” Leo chided her. “That Timberlake kid took it all when he made his solo debut. Josh can come out to London whenever he wants to see her.”

Becca bit on her lower lip. “I have to bring Alyssa with me. During rehearsals Dylan would be with her,”

“Fine,” Leo took the contract and made adjustments adding that a nanny be with Becca’s daughter at all times. “There. Done. Now all we have to do is get you to sign it.”

Becca did so without batting an eye. She would have to call Josh that night and tell him the news. No, he wasn’t as busy as he had been in years past, so maybe he could come out to London a few times to see Dylan while Becca was performing. He wouldn’t like it, but right now, Becca was a working mother and if she let herself think about the fact that Dylan was with a nanny more than she would’ve liked, she would tear up the contract and quit immediately. But she couldn’t. She could do this.

After she’d put Dylan to bed, Becca went into the living room and sat down to call Josh. It was six in the evening in L.A. and she knew he was either at the recording studio or taking a nap before heading out for the evening. The phone rang three times before she heard an unfamiliar voice on the other end. A female voice.

“Hello?”

“Um. Hi. Who is this?”

“Brandi. Who’s this?”

“I’m the mother of Josh’s child. May I speak to him, please?”

There was a muffled sound and she heard Josh whisper loudly, “I told you not to answer my phone!” Then, “Becca? Is that you?”

Becca felt a pit in her stomach and hated that she did. Every time he dated someone she felt the same pit. She ignored it. No sense going down that rocky road again. She cleared her throat, “Am I interrupting?”

“No. Sorry,” Josh looked over at the woman next to him in his bed and shook his head at her. They’d gone out a few times now. She was a bartender at an upscale club in Beverly Hills who did modeling on the side. She was pretty and she fulfilled his physical needs, that was for sure. But talk about ditzy. “Sorry. How are you? Is Dylan OK?”

“Yeah, she’s fine,” Becca pulled her knees up to her chest and leaned against the couch. “She’s asleep. I was actually calling to tell you some exciting news.”

The only thing exciting that she could’ve told him was that she and Dylan were moving to L.A. and Josh immediately felt his heart skip a beat. He also felt Brandi’s hand roaming down his chest and pushed her away gently. “What is it?”

“I got offered the part of “Maureen” in Rent,”

“Wow! That’s awesome, Bec-“

“In London. For six weeks. And I’m taking Dylan with me,”

Josh wanted to throw the phone against the wall. He was silent for a minute. “Oh. Ok. So you’re taking my daughter away from me for six weeks?”

“I’m not taking her away from you. And you can come out as much as you want to-“

“Are you kidding, Becca? To London?! That’s not exactly an easy trip,”

“It’s just for six weeks, Josh. You could come out at least once,”

“You’re being unreasonable,”

“I’m doing the best I can,”

He was silent. Then, “What if I took her for six weeks?”

It was Becca’s turn to be quiet. Six weeks without Dylan? What kind of mother would she be? And she would miss her daughter more than anything. She groaned inwardly, knowing that this was how it would be for the next sixteen years, until Dylan was old enough to make her own decisions about where she wanted to spend her time.

“Fine. What if you take her for the first three and then come out to London?”

Josh sighed into the phone and rubbed face with his free hand. “Okay. Are you going to bring her out to L.A. or do I need to get a ticket out to New York, too?”

“Stop being an ass. I’ll bring her out on Friday, okay?” Becca snapped at him, wondering how it had gotten to this. She was expecting him to be excited for her, but deep down she knew the pain he was in from only seeing Dylan every so often.

“I’m not being an ass, I’m only…oh whatever. Nevermind. I’ll see you on Friday,” Josh hung up and laid back down, immediately feeling Brandi crawling on top of him. He wasn’t in the mood, but she was relentless.

“You’re no fun,” Brandi sat up and pouted with him.

“It’s been a long day,” Josh got up from the bed and went into the bathroom, shutting and locking the door behind him before Brandi could protest. Was this how it was really going to be from now on? Shuffling between two coasts and now between two continents? It was no way to raise their child.

Becca had only been in London for 3 days but she could already tell it agreed with her. She loved the shopping, loved the culture, loved the English accents, and especially loved her cast mates. Rehearsals for Rent were long and took up most of her day, but at the end of it, everyone would go out for drinks at the local pub around the corner from the rehearsal hall. She made sure to always check in with Josh and Dylan throughout the day, whether it was through email or a quick phone call. She would start in the show in two days and wished so much Josh could see her opening night. No matter what, he was always going to be a vital part of her life.

After her last rehearsal, the cast decided to go and celebrate at a high end restaurant near Leicester Square. Becca ended up sitting between Charley Ann Day, an Irish actress who’d just finished the European Tour of Cats and was playing “Mimi” in the show, and Declan Montgomery, an actor from Northern England, who was famous for a British soap opera he’d done. Declan was playing “Roger” and he and Becca had immediately hit it off. She’d secretly developed an innocent little crush on him and it was nice to have something to take her mind off of Dylan and how much she missed her.

“Here’s to our first night. May we break all of our legs!” cried Susanna McKee, one of the understudies.

“Cheers!” Becca lifted her pint and clinked her glass with her other cast mates.

“So, how’s your little girl?” Declan asked her, while they munched on a few appetizers. He was gorgeous. He had sandy blonde hair that fell into a wave, a little scruff around his mouth that Becca found sexy, and green eyes that seemed to always penetrate her own when he talked to her.

“She was good when I talked to her before rehearsal. She had just woken up and her dad and her were going to the beach,” Becca took a sip of beer and rested her chin in her hand as she talked with Declan.

“Your ex, right? He was in a boy band?” Declan focused all of his attention on her.

“Yes. He was in Nsync. Or, I guess is in Nsync. They’re still on a hiatus,” every time Becca told people that she could hardly believe it. Justin was getting more popular by the minute as a solo artist and the thought of him ever going back to being in a group seemed almost foreign.

“How’d you meet him?” Declan asked her.

“We were on a talk show together. He saw me being interviewed before they were supposed to sing and asked me out. We dated a little over a year and then had Dylan,” she thought back to those first few dates when it was really nothing but sex and staying up all night on the phone talking when they weren’t in the same city. They’d been infatuated with each other and Becca hadn’t been infatuated like that since. Though with the way Declan was looking at her, she could easily become just as infatuated with him as she’d been with Josh. Possibly.

“How’d he let you get away?” Declan shook his head. “He should’ve held on to you for a while.”

Becca blushed and chuckled. “Well, it was mutual. We were terrible together,” Not at everything she told herself, remembering the last time they’d slept together and had to smile at that. It had been good, as dysfunctional as it turned out.

Three hours later, Declan was in her apartment and Becca was pouring him a glass of wine. They sat down on the couch and Declan wasted no time in pulling her towards him and kissing her. It felt wonderful to Becca, who’d not been with anyone since Evan and that had been in December. She let him take full control and was lost in the moment.

“Do you always do this with your coworkers?” Declan mumbled, as he attacked her neck.

“No,” Becca answered, trying not to gasp. “No. Just you.”

“Good. It’ll be our little secret,” they began to undress and soon Becca forgot about everything and reveled in what was happening. Her head was spinning, her heart racing, and soon she was sent over the edge. They were both out of breath and Declan looked down and smiled at her. “That was fun, Becca. We should do that again sometime.”

She grinned at him, “I’ve got nothing to do til tomorrow morning.” She stood up and he followed her back to her bedroom.

Three Weeks Later

Being upgraded on flights had its perks, especially when there was a two-and-half-year-old on it. Josh was flying over and would be in London a week before Alyssa came and took care of Dylan for the remainder of Becca’s performance. Josh had read rave reviews about Becca Sebastian in the role of “Maureen” and he’d even heard rumors from others in the business that she could take over on Broadway and make it even more popular. He grimaced at that thought, because he wanted her back in L.A. He’d broken up with Brandi shortly after his conversation with Becca about her going to London. He decided he was too old for flings and wanted something more serious. He’d also decided he was going to tell Becca this trip that he was still in love with her. He was sick of playing games and he knew both of them were going back and forth about it and it was getting ridiculous. Besides, she was truly the best thing that had ever happened to him, next to Dylan, of course. And despite the fighting, he knew they could learn to make it work.

As the plane touched down in Heathrow, Josh looked over at a sleeping Dylan. He gently unbuckled her seat belt once he was able and picked her up. After getting their luggage, Becca had ordered a limo to come and pick them up from the airport and take them to their hotel. She would meet up with them as soon as she was able. Josh was hoping his plan would work. He’d decided to take her back to the hotel, tuck Dylan in bed, and then tell her he was still in love with her and that he was ready to make it work. His heart raced as he thought about how they’d finally be a family. He knew she was still in love with him, too. It had been obvious on so many occasions. Yes, he was ready to do this.

“Wait, stop!” Becca gasped and pushed Declan off of her. “Sorry, I promised Josh I’d go meet him and Dylan at the Ritz.” Declan reluctantly rolled off of her and let her go. She stood from his bed and quickly dressed again, making sure to smooth out her hair and freshen up as much as she could. In the last three weeks, Becca had barely slept in her own bed and most every night, had left the theatre with Declan. He was like her drug and she couldn’t stop. It wasn’t anything but physical, but for once in her life, Becca didn’t care. In another three weeks, it would be over and she’d be back in New York with Dylan. One thing was for sure – Declan had definitely made her forget anything she was thinking she had for Josh when she left.

“When do I get to see you again?” Declan asked, sitting up in bed and watching her dress.

“Tonight,” she turned around to face him and then walked over, leaning over him on the bed. She kissed him quickly and then pulled away again. “You can come over after Dylan’s in bed.”

“You sure he won’t care?” Declan raised an eyebrow in reference to Josh.

“Josh is with someone else and even if he wasn’t, we’re not together and we won’t ever be together again,” Becca assured him. “Sorry, I need to go or else I’m going to be late.” She grabbed her things, kissed Declan once more, and ran down the stairs and outside towards the nearest tube station. Her mind was racing with thoughts of Declan. He was gorgeous and everyone in the cast knew he and Becca had been sleeping together. It hadn’t mattered. Becca felt like she wasn’t doing anything wrong. She was finally allowing herself to have a little fun.

Josh was unpacking his suitcase when Becca knocked on the door of his hotel room. He answered it and immediately wanted to pull her in his arms and kiss her, but refrained and simply gave her a quick hug.

“Mama!” Dylan shrieked when she saw her mother in the doorway. She ran to Becca, who knelt down and captured the child in her arms.

“Oh my gosh, I missed you so much!” Becca covered her daughter in kisses and hugs and picked her up as she stood. “How was your flight? Are you exhausted?” She came into the hotel room and sat down on the couch across from the bed.

Josh shrugged. “Used to do this all the time so it’s a little familiar. Dylan slept most of the way here. We were in First so that made it nice.”

“Ooh, look at you, missy, living it up!” Becca squeezed Dylan to her and the little girl giggled, holding tight to her mother.

Josh cleared his throat before he spoke. “Hey, Becca, do you think we could go back to your place for a drink after the show tonight? I was thinking it would be nice to catch up.”

“Oh, sure,” Becca nodded, making a mental note to tell Declan not to come until much later. “That would be great.” She smiled at Josh and went back to talking to Dylan. Josh watched them and sat down on his bed, restraining himself from falling into it and going to sleep. The scene in front of him was enough to keep him awake for a long time.