“So, Addie. What’s ‘Addie’ short for?” Lance asked me as we sat across from each other at dinner the next evening. We were at a hip spot in downtown Houston at an Asian-fusion type restaurant. I’d ordered some sort of fancy miso vegetable soup and a California roll. Lance, being more daring, had gotten a sampling of every type of sashimi and two spring rolls.

“Adelaide,” I replied, bringing the soup to my lips and softly blowing on it. “It was my grandmother’s name.”

“Adelaide,” he repeated, my name rolling off his tongue so easily. “That’s a pretty name.”

I shrugged. I’d never liked it as a child and I’d been called “Addie” for as long as I could remember. Only when I’d been scolded when I was younger did my parents ever use my full name.

“Thanks,” I smiled at him and went back to my soup. So far, the date had been going quite well. With all I’d gone through the last two months, it was hard to believe this was my first actual date ever. And I was pregnant with another man’s child. I sure had screwed up the order of how to properly date someone, that was for sure. I knew most first dates could be nerve-wracking and anxiety filled, but this one with Lance seemed like the most normal thing in the world right now.

“I’ve never really gone by my full name,” I told him, my spoon scooping up the last bits of tofu. “It’s always been ‘Addie’.”

Lance smiled at me. “Could I call you that?” he suddenly blushed, then shook his head. “I mean, well, if this escalates or, something…” he trailed off and I suddenly realized he was nervous, which made him even more attractive to me. He wasn’t coming on to me like JC had that first time.

“Lance,” I touched his arm. “We’ve already had sex and we’re on a date. I think this has already escalated.”

He chuckled softly and dipped the sashimi into his soy sauce with his chopsticks, then looked at me. “You’re beautiful, Addie. I mean that. I can’t believe I’m actually sitting at a restaurant with someone who’s this gorgeous. You know, normally girls like you are with Justin or JC-“ he stopped himself and cursed, shaking his head. “Dammit. Sorry, Addie. It’s force of habit. Not that I always go out with pretty girls, I just-“

“Lance,” I interrupted him and squeezed his arm where my hand had rested. “Relax. It’s you and me on a date. Why are you so nervous?”

Lance sighed and rested his chopsticks on the plate, then leaned back into his seat and looked at me. “I guess it’s just I know that you could end this quicker than it began,”

“Me end it?” I had to laugh at that. “Lance, I’m pregnant. If anything, I would think you would want to end it before we go any further into this. You’ve got your whole life in front of you and I don’t want you to put it on hold because the girl you might want to be with is pregnant with someone else’s baby.”

He tilted in towards me and our faces were inches from each other. “For some reason, I just think it’s the most natural thing for me to be with you right now,” he kissed my lips softly and I kissed him back, my hand resting on his cheek. He pulled away slightly and smiled at me. “Come back to my room tonight.”

I bit my lower lip and smiled at him. “Okay,” I answered.

We made it through the rest of dinner but the feeling of desperation for one another suddenly took hold once were in the elevator back at the hotel. We’d had the entire top floor reserved for our tour and it was a big hotel. Lance had me pinned against the wall of the elevator and we were both groping each other as if we’d waited years to do this again. I guess two weeks had felt like a lifetime to us. I wrapped my leg around his waist and pulled him closer, double- checking the elevator floors as they lit up signifying the floor we were passing. Lance’s lips were sucking on my neck and I tugged at his hair, enjoying the fact that those doors could open at any moment. The thrill of being caught excited me for some reason, even though I had no idea what we’d do if we were caught. His hands were pulling on his belt and I knew if we didn’t get to the top floor soon, we were going to end up doing it in the elevator. Before he could go any further, the elevator stopped at our floor and Lance quickly buckled his belt back and I tried to straighten my dress as best as I could. We walked out into the hallway and it was barren and silent. He grabbed my hand and whisked me down towards his room. As he fiddled with the key, I reached up and bit his neck, my hands wandering to his belt loop and played with the buckle. He dropped the key and tried again, but this time my hand had managed to work itself into his pants and he was desperately attempting to get us inside his room. The door clicked and Lance threw it open, kicking it shut. He toppled over me on the bed and our breaths were turning into gasps as we undressed each other.

As he hovered over me, I looked up at him and shook my head.

“What?” he looked panicked and I looked down at his erection, knowing that he was more than ready.

“I’ve never been on top,” I told him.

He grinned at me and flipped us over so that I was straddling his stomach. We were both naked now and back in the warehouse I hadn’t noticed just how nice his physique was. I surveyed him up and down before placing my hands on his shoulders and easing myself down onto him. This was definitely a different sensation than I’d ever felt and I liked it. I felt like I was more in control and I knew right away why JC didn’t like it this way. I began to move with him, lifting myself up and down and loving the feeling of him inside of me more than our one time before in the warehouse.

“You….feel…so…good,” I could barely get the words out because of how much I was enjoying it. He lifted his hips in rhythm with mine and pulled my backside towards him, grunting and groaning as he did. His hand slid between us, massaging my most sensitive area and making me moan softly.

“You like that?” he whispered, his fingers knowing exactly what to do.

“Yeah,” I rested my palms on his chest, moving faster with him, knowing that any minute I was ready to come.

He lifted up as he released into me, continuing to move until I came next. I was sweating more than I ever had before when I’d had sex and we were both panting as though we’d run a mile.I rolled off of him, and he spooned me against him, kissing my shoulder blade, his arms wrapped securely around my waist. I looked at the clock and saw that it was nearing midnight. Lance said something, but I had already closed my eyes and fallen asleep.

When I woke up, he’d moved over to the other side of the bed and the sun was just peeking in through the drawn curtains covering the window. It was almost seven and we didn’t have to be anywhere till noon. Most of my stuff was in the room I’d started sharing with Brooke after JC and me had broken up. But since Brooke was going back and forth between Joey and Justin, I had had it to myself. I slowly got up from the bed and put on my clothes from the night before.

“Where are you going?” Lance mumbled from the bed.

“I just need to grab my other clothes and stuff from the room,” I told him. “I’m taking your key so I can come back.”

Lance only nodded and closed his eyes again. I tip toed out and was closing the door when JC grabbed my arm from behind and pinned me against the wall. He was fuming and I’d never seen him look as angry as he did then.

“Lance? Lance?!” he glowered at me through clenched teeth. “You little slut! So this is why you broke up with me?!” He shook me and pounded my back against the wall.

“Stop it!” I hissed at him, trying to release myself from his grip, but it was no use. “JC, I swear I will scream so loud and everyone will hear me! Let me go!”

“Not until you tell me why the hell I saw you coming out of Lance’s room!” he raised his voice and I knew any minute one of our band mates would emerge and see him doing this to me.

“Because you abused me and you raped me and you were a horrible, horrible boyfriend!” I spoke just as loudly as he had. Suddenly, he yanked me away from the wall and pulled me into the room next to Lance’s. His room. I knew what he was going to do and immediately began to fight him. Lunging for the door, I grabbed the handle before it shut, but JC was as quick as lightening. He grabbed my waist and pulled me down on the floor with him. I heard the door shut and looked up to see him coming down towards me. I rolled away and tried to crawl over to the door. He grabbed my foot, pulling me back, my legs fiery with rug burn now. He ripped my dress as he pulled it off of me.

“No!” I screamed. “Don’t!” I pushed him and kicked him but it was almost as though he liked that because it only egged him on more.

“Shut up!” he bellowed at me, his hand slapping me across the face. “You’re getting what you deserve you little bitch. You think you can just go on and get a new boyfriend while you’re having my baby and get away with it?” He slapped me again and tears began to pour down my cheeks.

“JC, please,” I begged him, sobbing. “Please stop. Please.”

He didn’t listen, only forcibly pulled my legs up around his waist. He began his assault, roughly going in and out of me, as I lay there, unable to move. I tried to scream, but his hand covered my mouth and soon it was hard to breathe. I tried to move his hand off with my own, but he threw them off and they hit the floor hard. I tried to gasp for air but I was becoming lightheaded. I closed my eyes and felt unconsciousness soon take over.

When I opened them again, I was back in a hospital bed, looking around at Brooke and Jen and Lance, all of who were leaning or sitting around the bedside. It was dark out and the last thing I’d remembered was JC on top of me.

“Hey,” Lance came over to me and knelt down beside me. “You okay?”

I nodded, looking at him with a confused expression. “It was JC –“

“It was indeed,” Brooke sighed and walked to the edge of the bed with Jen. “Addie, we heard you screaming and were trying to get in. When the hotel security got into the room, you’d passed out from nearly being asphyxiated. JC said you fainted, but the truth came out after Jen and Chris talked to the police.”

“He admitted it?” I could barely speak, but somehow managed to form that thought aloud.

“He knew he had to,” Jen said. “He had no choice. The evidence was piled against him.”

“Where is he now?” my throat felt as though it were on fire and I winced as I spoke.

“Jail,” Lance told me, giving me a glass of water that had been resting next to me. “We canceled the rest of the tour,” he continued. “And Johnny knows everything. He wants to talk to you as soon as you’re able.”

I shook my head. “No. No. Now everyone will know!” I protested. “And it’ll be all my fault!”

“It’s not your fault,” Lance assured me, rubbing my arm gently. “JC is fully to blame. You aren’t. Johnny knows that and so do a lot of other people.”

“Is the baby okay?” I asked, looking at Lance, who smiled warmly at me.

“The baby is fine,” he promised and kissed my hand. “The doctor’s did an ultra sound while you were out. They said they didn’t think it had received any trauma.”

I looked at Jen and Brooke. “I’m sorry,” I told them, my eyes filling with tears. “I know that we’re supposed to have an album in January and all and this tour was supposed to have-“

“Addie, stop it,” Brooke interrupted soothingly. “It’s fine. Johnny’s gonna talk to you about all that stuff later, okay? We just want you to be better.”

“Your parents are on their way in tonight,” Jen said and I immediately cringed at that. My parents were going to probably ask if anyone wanted to adopt me because they’d be ready to give me up once they heard I was pregnant by my ex-boyfriend who had also abused me for the month we were together.

“Shit,” I muttered and shifted in my bed.

“If it makes it better, Johnny said they were understanding when he talked to them,” Jen told me.

“I talked to them, too,” Lance spoke up and I turned to look at him in surprise. “They were fine, baby. I told them I was a friend and was looking out for you until they got here.”

“A friend?!” Brooke laughed. “You sure about that?”

“Well, I wasn’t going to tell them that I was her boyfriend,” Lance said, defensively. “I didn’t think it was exactly what they wanted to hear after they heard the last one beat her up. It just seemed better to me to tell them that I was a friend and later on, we’ll tell them the truth.”

They stayed as late as they could without getting kicked out by the hospital for manipulating visiting hours. Before he left, Lance kissed me goodbye and promised to be back first thing the next morning. It was too quiet once they’d gone and I was alone with my thoughts. How had something so wonderful with Lance and me turned into my worst nightmare with JC? I touched my cheek where he’d slapped me and felt around my mouth where his hand had gripped me almost to death. I shivered at the thought that I’d slipped into unconsciousness and was now back in the hospital again because of JC.

The phone next to me rang and hoping for any sort of conversation, I picked up.

“Hello?”

“Addie,”

I gasped. It was JC.

“No!”

“Addie, please-“

“You don’t get to do that to me anymore. Ever again. I hope you’re in jail for the rest of your life for all you did to me! I’m in the hospital again, thanks to you!”

“I know. Addie, I’m only allowed one phone call. Just hear me out-“

“I don’t give a shit if you’re allowed one hundred phone calls. Do not ever call me again!”

“Just tell me,” his voice sounded pleading. “Tell me did I hurt the baby?”

I was in a bit of shock hearing that question from him. Two nights ago he’d called it a spoiled brat and he’d been talking abortion since I’d even mentioned I was pregnant.

I took a breath before I spoke. “There isn’t a baby anymore,” I lied, and hung up.

I didn’t care.

He was getting exactly what he deserved.