"Clay, this is Peter. I'm a little concerned you've missed the last week and a half of sessions. Please give me a call,"

Delete.

"Clay, it's Peter again. You're overdue on your balance. I told you I'd work with you, but I need to get in touch regardless if you're coming back or not. I think we were making some good progress and I'd like to continue seeing you. Please give me a call when you can,"

Delete.

"This is Marla Renfro, Peter Hickman's assistant. I'm calling to let you know we've let your account go to collections and they will be contacting you soon about your payment,"

Delete.

Clay set his phone down on the coffee table, numb to what he'd just heard. It had been one month since he'd begun his search. It had been amazing all he'd found out on JC Chasez, James, and most importantly, Sutton. He knew she was in 2nd grade at Grayson Elementary, she took ballet at a studio below the one that JC owned and next door to James' coffee shop. She had three siblings - fraternal twins who were 21 months old and a baby brother who was just over a month. Their home was in a quaint neighborhood but he'd paid extra money on a website he'd found to get a picture of it. A sprawling low-country style house with a Mercedes convertible parked in the driveway and a Range Rover next to it. They weren't hurting financially in the least. He'd done extra research to find out that her gay best friend was the cousin of JC and was married to a lawyer - the same lawyer who'd represented on Sutton's behalf in the adoption case. The gay couple had adopted a girl from China. And from the interview with Lance Bass, he'd come to learn about Chris Kirkpatrick living with James' friend Lesly. For extra measure, he'd done research on that as well and saw that all three couples lived within about ten minutes of one another. 

The pictures of Sutton were few, but enough for Clay to get a good idea of what she looked like. She seemed to always be with JC when the paparazzi had gotten a shot of them. She'd also seemed to enjoy this substitute father of hers because she was either laughing or smiling in every picture. It infuriated Clay and so he'd cut JC out of the picture and only kept the ones of Sutton. She was beautiful and Clay yearned to know more about her. He had casually mentioned it to his mother that he'd found a picture of his daughter online and his mother had demanded to see it herself. When she'd looked at the picture of Sutton, she'd burst into tears. Clay had only shown her so she could see how beautiful his daughter was. He hadn't meant to upset her. It was then that he knew that he had to do something about it. It had to be strategic and it could take a while. But if he disappeared and no one knew he was leaving, he might just be able to get away with at least meeting her.

Another call came through from Peter Hickman's office. Clay hit "Ignore" and went back to his search.

"How's Kaylie working out?" Lesly asked James one late afternoon. They were sitting on James' back patio, each sipping on a glass of wine and watching Sutton entertaining herself with the twins in the sandbox. Logan was fast asleep upstairs in his bedroom and every so often, James and Lesly would hear him stir on the baby monitor. JC and Chris had called to say they'd be running late for dinner - it had become a weekly event for Chris and Lesly along with Chad and Lane to have dinner at the Chasez's - and to start without them if necessary. JC's studio had been booked solid since Chris had come on to work with him. They were able to take on more clients now and because of that, they usually worked later getting everyone they could in and out at a decent time. 

"Great," James replied, setting her wine down next to her on the patio table. "She works really hard. Definitely not the same girl that left us two years ago." 

"How's Madison?" Lesly wanted to know, referring to Kaylie's best friend and another employee of James. Both girls had gone off to Savannah for school and when Madison had left, she was dating the third of James' high school employees, Hunter Morgan, who'd gone off to Georgia Tech.

"Engaged to Hunter," James chuckled, and Lesly raised an eyebrow. "Kaylie told me yesterday they were getting married next summer in Grayson and that Madison was excited to show me the ring in December."

"Crazy," Lesly shook her head and watched as Sutton began to build a sandcastle with Olivia, while Landon entertained himself by throwing sand out of the sandbox. "She's so good with them." Lesly motioned to Sutton and James smiled at her eldest. Sometimes Sutton was too good to be true. There were rare occasions where she or JC would have to scold their daughter and when they had, it had been over something trivial like watching television past her bedtime. 

"She loves being a big sister," James replied. She looked at Lesly. "So? What about you and Chris?"

"What about me and Chris?" Lesly answered, coyly, her finger circling the rim of her glass. 

"Are you going to have kids any time soon?" James knew the answer to her question, but still liked to tease her best friend. Lesly had been adamant with James before about the fact that she didn't want to be a mother any time soon and she was sure Chris wasn't about to give up his life completely for a child. They'd talked marriage, but that was even far down the road for them. It was fine for James and JC, who'd immediately known that they were meant for one another, and Chris and Lesly had too, but it was still different. Their relationship had taken more hits than James and JC's had, that was for sure.

Lesly shifted in her chair and looked at James, smiling slightly. "Well," she cleared her throat. "I don't know.  I mentioned to him the other day how cute Logan was and he didn't freak out, he agreed with me and said that he thought our baby would be a cutie, too. He's never reacted that way. Usually he changes the subject or teases me about it."

James raised an eyebrow. "Well, what do you think it means, then?" she asked, excitedly. Now that Chad and Lane had Jewel, it just seemed natural for Lesly and Chris to be next in line.

"Oh, I don't know, James," Lesly sighed and sipped her wine again. "Lately when I'm around Logan or Jewel, my heart starts to ache. I know I want them. And I know Chris would be a great father. It's just that I also know that we've still got a lot to think about. Things have been so great the last year, I don't know if a kid would be better or worse for us."

"Your life isn't your own anymore, that's for sure," James said, knowingly, looking over at Sutton and the twins. "I love my kids, but I miss my time for just me and Josh or just me, even. I don't even know what that would be like to have a day all to myself. I don't know what I'd do."

"Go to the Jekyll Island Club and get a spa treatment!" Lesly interjected. "That's what I'd do."

James was quiet for a moment and thought about that. Alone all day at a spa. It sounded almost too good to be true. She looked at Lesly and shook her head. "No. I can't even picture it. I'd probably worry about the kids all day. Or I'd wonder if Josh was OK with them by himself," she put her wine glass down and stood up, seeing that Landon was starting to throw sand at Olivia, who in turn, had reached over and smacked her brother's arm. 

"No, Landon!" Sutton intervened and was met with a handful of sand in her mouth from Landon. "Mo-om!"

"I'm coming, Sutton," James turned around to face Lesly. "Yeah, think about that yearning for kids. This is what you get to look forward to!" James walked over to the sandbox and lifted Landon out. "Ok, you two. Let's get you in the bath before dinner."

"No, no bath!" Olivia retorted and went back to playing.

"Yes, yes, bath!" James grabbed her arm and pulled her up to her feet. Olivia began to whine and wail and no amount of soothing from her sister made her calm down in the least. Lesly stood to her feet, walking over to James and picking up Olivia. She thought about what James said but still wanted to talk to Chris about the possibility of starting a family in the next year or so. Even with Olivia kicking and screaming the whole way into the house.

“Chris?” Lesly whispered, later that night when they were snuggled in bed together.

“Hm?”

She knew he was about to go to sleep. They’d drunk way too much at James and JC’s and then had had sex twice when they’d gotten home. They were both exhausted, but Lesly wanted an answer to the question that had been plaguing her since the conversation she’d had with James earlier that evening.

“Chris, I want a baby,”

Silence.

“Did you hear me?”

“Mmhm,” Chris mumbled.

“I’m serious,”

“I know you are,”

Lesly sighed and sat up in bed. “Well, do you? Want a baby, I mean?”

“We just had sex twice, Lesly. I didn’t wear a condom. What does that tell you?”

“It tells me that I’m still on birth control and it’s a pretty strong dosage. So that tells me nothing,”

Chris sighed and rolled over to look up at her. “Les, if you want a baby, I want a baby.”

Lesly grimaced and shook her head. “That tells me nothing. I want to know if you want one. You can’t just say if I want a baby, then you do, too. It’s not like making a decision about where we want to go eat dinner!”

Chris chuckled and leaned on his elbow, reaching over to caress her hand. “Lesly, yes, I want a baby, too,” he looked at her silhouette in the darkness and her blond hair hung over her shoulders like she was some sort of a Greek goddess. He still sometimes couldn’t believe that she was his girlfriend. She was beautiful and he still had always thought of himself as average. “And I want one with you.” He pulled her down next to him and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her shoulder blade and her neck.

“Really?” she pushed herself away gently to look at him. “Are you really telling me this because you want one or because I do?”

Chris had to chuckle again. “Lesly,” he kissed her forehead. “I want a baby and I want one with you. I promise. Now, can we go to sleep, please?”

Lesly nodded against him and closed her eyes, a smile on her face, and drifted off to sleep.

Clay looked at his compiled collection of pictures, information, and everything else he'd managed to assemble over the last month and a half. It was almost too easy. He knew where the coffee shop, ballet studio, and talent studio were located. He knew where the Chasez's lived, where Chris Kirkpatrick lived, and where Chad and his lover were living. He knew where the elementary school was situated and the exact time Sutton had lunch, recess, and was released for the day. He flipped through pictures again and smiled to himself at the thought of getting to see her and meet her in just a matter of time. Yes, she looked a lot like James, but there was definite evidence that she was his daughter as well. She looked nothing like this JC character who was posing as her father. Why had he ever said he wanted nothing to do with this child? She was beautiful! And maybe if he'd never lost his temper, James would be with him and not this former flash in the pan husband she was married to now. 

He picked up one picture of Sutton and held it up, examining it. It was a rare picture of her looking straight at a paparazzo’s camera, a puzzled expression on her face. If JC had had any sense, wouldn’t he have punched out the idiot who was trying to get a picture of them? Clay knew he would have done that if anyone had tried to take a picture and then sell it of his daughter. And here this moron JC Chasez wasn’t doing anything about it and letting it be sold to all those tabloid magazines. How dare he? How dare he do this to Clay’s daughter?

“Don’t worry, sweetie,” he whispered to the picture. “It will be all okay soon. I’ll make sure you never have to worry about a stranger taking your picture.”

His phone rang. It was his mother.

“Clayton,” she barked into the phone. “Why did your therapist call me about your whereabouts? I thought you told me you were going to therapy!”

“I changed psychiatrists,” Clay lied, rolling his eyes at his mother through the phone.

“Well, you should at least tell him,”

“He’ll be fine,” Clay sighed and looked back at the picture in his hand. “Mom, I think I’m going to be going out of town for a few weeks.”

“Where are you going?”

“Ah, well, I thought about possibly going down south for a while. Just to clear my head,”

“I think that’s a great idea, dear,”

Clay smiled. “I know. Just time for me and myself, you know?” And Sutton. I’m going to meet Sutton.

“You need it, Clayton. You’ve been through so much, son,”

If anyone felt sorry for him, it was his mother. Granted, she was about the only one left on the planet who felt anything for him.

“I know, Mom,” he went to the kitchen to retrieve a beer from the refrigerator. “Anyway, if anyone wants to know where I am for any reason, just tell them I’m on vacation.”

“Vacation,” his mother repeated as if she were writing it down. “When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow. I’ll call you when I get there,” he sat down at his computer and began to look up hotels near or around Grayson. He found one right on the outskirts of the county, exactly ten minutes from Sutton’s school and fifteen from Main Street. It was almost too perfect. “I’m going to be in Daytona Beach,” he lied again.

“It’ll be too cold, dear,” his mother nagged at him.

“It’ll be fine, Mom,” Clay sighed. “I just need a new perspective.”

“I hope you get it,”

“Me too. I’ll call you tomorrow,”

Clay hung up the phone and began to fill out the online reservation form. The picture of Sutton was next to him and he glanced at it every so often as he typed. “Soon, baby girl. Soon your Daddy will be back,” he said to the picture as he printed the reservation form. He folded it neatly and went into the bedroom to begin packing, his heart racing as he thought about what was to come in the next day or so.