Part II

Lance's mouth opened and closed as he tried to think of what to say. Every time he opened his mouth to speak, no words would come out. He moved to sit up, sitting on JC's hips with his knees resting on either side of JC. The position looked sexual but it was the last thing on his mind. It might have been a minute ago; before JC's statement shocked him mute.

He looked into JC's eyes, searching for...something. Searching maybe to see if the older man was joking, but judging from the earnest emotions swarming in the blue pools JC was serious. He swallowed. A baby. JC wanted to have a baby. They had the children talk in their relationship. They both loved kids and wanted their own. He always thought that meant after they were married.

"Say something please."

The words penetrated his brain. Lance saw hurt and embarrassment building in JC's eyes. The older man had obviously taken his silence as a no. He couldn't come right out and say yes there were a lot of factors that went into having a baby, more so between a gay couple than a straight one. Grabbing one of JC's hands, he gave it a squeeze hoping to eradicate some of the hurt from JC's eyes. "I'm not sure what to say," he said truthfully. "Wow, JC; I wasn't expecting this when I asked what was wrong."

"I'm sorry..."

"No no," Lance watched JC's eyes drift close. He shifted, coming to rest on JC's thighs drawing his boyfriend up and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, hugging him tight. It only took a few seconds before he felt JC's arms wrap around him. He released a breath, sinking into JC. "Let's try this again," he whispered. He couldn't stop himself from pressing a kiss against JC's lips just because.

JC maneuvered around until they were seated side by side. "I know this came out of nowhere. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize," he took JC's hand, threading their fingers together. "You want to have a baby."

JC giggled. "Not medically possible. I meant I want us to have a baby, via surrogate. Mine or yours," he shrugged. That didn't matter to him. "Ours."

"Wow," Lance breathed.

"I was laying here thinking how there were two things I wanted to be."

"A dad?" Lance guessed, squeezing JC's fingers. He smiled when he saw JC nod. This was something he knew. "I have no doubt that you'd be the best dad." JC blushed feeling warmth spread through him at Lance's words. "I see how you are with Olivia... is this what brought it on? Olivia?"

"No, yes, I don't know," JC sighed leaning back against the back of the couch. "I just got so used to her being here. Now that she's gone it's just feels empty and silent."

"So you want a child so it's not quiet in here?"

"No! We're probably the most involved uncles out there but... I want more. I want all the bottles, diaper changes, colic, teething. I want to experience the three AM feedings. I want to be so tired I can barely function the next day."

"I'm sure Rachel and Nick would have loved to have known that when Olivia was still waking up at all hours of the night," Lance joked. When the words left his mouth he knew they were the wrong things to say. JC pulled away from him and stood.

"Never mind," JC sighed, his shoulders sagging. "I'm gonna turn in." He turned to walk from the room; his heart heavy.

"No JC; wait," Lance moved quickly. He wrapped his arms around JC's waist pressing his hands to his chest. He held his boyfriend to his own chest. "I'm sorry," he whispered placing a kiss on the back of JC's neck. "I'm sorry."

"Maybe it's bad timing," JC said relaxing in Lance's hold. He drew up his arms placing them over Lance's on his chest. "But having Olivia here made me realize what I'm missing out on." He turned in Lance's arms, catching the yellow-green gaze of his lover. "I want to be a father. I want to experience it all knowing that I won't have to hand them over to someone else at the end of the day. You know how much I love Olivia but I want more." He moved from Lance's arms back into the room. "I've always wanted kids but it was always eventually. There was always something I was doing that having kids wouldn't have been best at the time. Not to mention anyone I was dating... Well I didn't see them as mother material. I never wanted to have kids with them."

Lance made a face at the mention of the women JC had dated from the time they broke up until the moment they reconciled. He hated coming across photographs of JC and his latest. More than likely the hate stemmed from jealousy. Though he did harbor hatred toward him. He hated how JC always looked so happy in the photographs with a perfect woman hanging on his arm. Jealous of how great he looked with a girlfriend. Jealous of the fact that it wasn't him at his side.

JC kept talking trying not to read into Lance's silence. "It's different with you. I'm happy with you; the happiest I've ever been. I dream of us; older, still together and still very much in love. I see us with a child. Some dreams he looks exactly like me. Others he looks like you. Those are my favorites, when he looks like you. Sometimes I dream that he looks like the both of us. Impossible I know because only one of us can provide the sperm. But that still doesn't stop me from dreaming that."

Lance smiled as his imagination took flight. He saw a little boy, all arms and legs, with his brunette curls bouncing as he ran across their backyard giggling uncontrollably. The images didn't stop there. He saw JC standing in the middle of the patio next to the pool. On his hip was a little girl no older than two, her head resting on his shoulder. Even in his mind he saw the image move as JC pressed a kiss to the little girl's blond curls. The image widened catching the little boy from earlier splashing in the pool. His arms itched to reach out and wrap them all in his arms. His family. His and JC's. The image faded before he was ready.

"There's probably so much stuff we have to go through," JC continued. "Will probably be a bigger hassle since we aren't married..." He spun around quickly nailing Lance with a look. "I will marry you. Today if we were able. Yesterday, tomorrow. It doesn't matter. Because I love you. That's why I want kids...with you. Because I love you. Because there is no one else I see myself with; no one I want to be with but you."

Lance felt a lump in his throat which tangled with his heart bursting with happiness at JC's words. After hearing the words Lance couldn't not go to him. He crossed the room never dropping his gaze from JC's. Taking his hand, Lance pulled JC flush against him. He pressed a firm kiss on JC's lips. When he broke the kiss he rested their foreheads together. "When the day comes we can marry, there is nothing I want more; to marry you, to become your husband. And if that never happens," his heart hurt at the thought of never being allowed to marry JC. "I will still be right here with you because my heart is yours JC. It's always belonged to you and will always belong to you." This time the kiss was slow and lovely as they each tried to convey all their feelings toward one another.

"That was the second thing I wanted," JC whispered brushing his lips over Lance's. "To be a husband; your husband."

"Yes," Lance breathed. He snaked his arms around JC's waist, pressing his palms against his back as he placed tiny kisses to JC's lips. "Yes," he kissed his cheeks, nose and forehead before claiming his lips once more in a searing kiss.

"Did we just become engaged?" JC's lips curved against Lance's as he held his everything.

Lance gave a low chuckle. "That's what it sounded like to me. We didn't plan this well. There was a no romantic dinner, no wine, no down on one knee, no engagement ring."

"I don't need all of that," JC's eyes were filled with emotion as he stared at his fiancée. "All I need is you."

"You have me JC," Lance told his love. "You have me now and forever." He met JC's lips. "I want children. Everything else, marriage and what not, will fall into place. Yours or mine it doesn't matter. It will be ours and I want that." His heart filled seeing the look on JC's face. "Let's have a baby."

*~*

Lance lay in bed later that night. JC was curled into his side with his head resting on Lance's shoulder. Lance held him in his arms, lazily stroking JC's back as he thought about what had happened that day.

Engaged.

'Wow,' he thought. He was engaged! To JC! He couldn't believe after everything they'd been through they were finally at this point in their lives. What he told JC earlier had been true. It didn't matter to him if they never got married He was good as long as they were together. Oh how he wanted to be married to JC!

This wasn't how he planned on getting engaged. When he thought about proposing he never knew which one would ask. He had ideas of asking JC and sometimes he'd think about JC asking him. Then he'd wonder if there should be an engagement ring or if that was too girly. He didn't like the fact of only JC wearing a ring while his finger went bare.

JC shifted against him, mumbling incoherently as he nuzzled Lance's chest. Lance smiled and pressed a kiss amidst the wavy curls on top of JC's head. Another thing he loved about JC; the shaggy brown locks he had grown back out repeating a hairstyle from the early 2000's. He brought his right hand up placing it over JC's left JC had on Lance's chest. He traced JC's long piano fingers and the naked ring finger. 'Someday,' he thought. 'My ring will be right there.' Maybe soon. He thought about going out and purchasing an engagement ring. 'Maybe we both should get one.' The more he thought, the more he liked the idea of them both wearing a simple ring to signify their promise to marry. It didn't have to be on their left. They could wear them on their right.

"You're gonna rub my finger raw," JC murmured sleepily. He yawned and splayed his fingers upward allowing Lance to thread his fingers through.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"'S'k," JC shrugged, yawning again. "Why are you awake?"

"Can't sleep. Someone put a bunch of new things in my head. Now I'm working things out."

"What's there to work out?" JC questioned.

"Well, at the moment I was wondering about rings and if we should wear them now as sort of a promise to marry. Like on our right hands and when we get married move them to our lefts. I just want something to signify we are engaged," Lance explained.

"I love that idea," JC tilted his head up to meet Lance's kiss. "We'll go out soon - tomorrow - and pick ones out. And we can wear them on our left like engagement rings."

"There's so much we have to look in to," Lance said threading his fingers through JC's hair when JC settled back against him. He started massaging JC's scalp. "Find out as much as we can because I honestly don't know where to begin. Definitely talk with our lawyer about this. I know we can't get married but can we even adopt?"

"Adopt?" JC questioned. He had nothing against adoption obviously, but that hadn't been what he was talking about. "I thought we were going to find a donor and surrogate and one of us would provide..." he could feel Lance shaking his head before he could even finish.

"Only one of us can be the father biologically. So if you are the one who provides the sperm then in the eyes of the law I am nothing to the child," Lance explained. "So what I'm saying is would I be able to adopt the baby so he's mine as well? In the eyes of the law. Cause I would consider him mine already, you know that. I just don't want to be caught with someone telling me I can't speak for our child because it's your name only on the birth certificate."

"Wouldn't it be cool if," JC spoke, the sleepiness wearing off. "We could create a child using both our sperm? That they could somehow medically engineer our stuff, mix it together and impregnate an egg? Then when the baby was born he would be biologically both ours. He would have your eyes..."

"And your bone structure. All angles and sharp," Lance interrupted. He loved the definition of the bones in JC's face, the sharp angles, the defined cheek bones, the jaw line. "Have the best of both of us."

"Hopefully not my nose."

"I like your nose," Lance traced a finger down JC's nose. "Unfortunately I don't think science has advanced that far. It would be nice though. If only one of us was a girl."

JC snorted. "If one of us was a girl, we wouldn't be right here right now. I kind of like the fact that you're not a..." he gasped and quickly sat up.

"What? What is it?" Lance sat up, staring at JC. There wasn't enough moonlight drifting through the curtains. JC's face was masked in darkness. "What's wrong?"

"Why didn't we think of this before?"

"Think of what?"

"You are a girl!"

"JC..." Lance drew out slowly, his voice low in warning. "If this is gonna be some kind of joke about how I'm the feminine one in this relationship, you're gonna find yourself sleeping elsewhere for a long time."

"No no no no," JC shook his head quickly. "What I mean is that technically you are a girl."

"This isn't helping your cause any."

"Rachel."

"What about her?"

"She's a girl."

"No shit, JC," Lance rolled his eyes. "Should we call and tell her this revelation? I'm sure Nick will be happy to learn this new piece of information."

JC sighed. "What I'm saying is that you and Rachel are the same. You're twins. You have identical DNA."

"Yes."

"Don't you see what this means?" JC was practically bouncing with excitement.

"I'm not following your train of thought."

"If Rachel provides the egg, with my sperm it would be like having our baby! She has the same DNA as you so it would be like you and I having a baby. Genetically, biologically the baby would be yours and mine."

Lance stared at JC. His boyfriend's eyes were wide with excitement, his lips curled up into an even bigger grin. What JC was saying was completely true. He and Rachel shared the same DNA. Any children they had would biologically be siblings as well as first cousins. The more he thought about it the more excited he got. The thought of actually being able to have a baby that was both his and JC's was more than he could take. He felt laughter bubble up.

JC's blue eyes sparkled and Lance leaned forward pressing his lips to JC's. He cupped the back of JC's head with his hand and tilted his head, changing the angle of their kiss. His swept his tongue along his boyfriend's bottom lip and when JC's lips parted, Lance delved forward stroking JC's tongue, tasting him.

As JC's tongue stroked and explored Lance's mouth, he slowly leaned back on the bed. His back met the coolness of the sheets, drawing Lance over him. He moved his hands over Lance's back, feeling the muscles ripple. Their legs were tangled together and their hips thrust gently against one another. Twin erections rubbed together eliciting moans from each man.

Lance broke the kiss, moving his lips along the sharp angle of JC's cheek bone to his ear. He traced the shell of JC's ear with his tongue; his hot breathes causing a shiver to run through JC's body. He drew JC's earlobe into his mouth, nibbling gently. When JC turn his head, offering his neck to him, Lance took advantage, placing kisses down his neck. He sucked lightly so not to leave a mark. They were too old to be getting hickeys.

With a final kiss to JC's collar bone, Lance returned to his lover's lips. He drew JC's tongue into his mouth sucking lightly. He swallowed a moan from JC before parting. He waited as JC blinked his eyes open, staring up at him. "There's so much stuff to discuss," he spoke quietly.

JC's features softened as he smiled at Lance. He rolled his hips upward watching Lance's green eyes drift shut as he hissed, drawing his bottom lip between his teeth. JC raised his head up, drawing that same bottom lip between his own teeth. He nipped then soothed with his tongue as he ran his hands down Lance's back over the swell of his ass. "Lance," JC whispered hotly as he kissing Lance.

Lance moaned as JC sucked on his tongue. He imagined that mouth wrapped around another part of his anatomy; sucking, stroking... licking. He pressed his hips hard against JC, groaning at the friction but it wasn't enough. "Jaycee..." he arched his head back, giving JC access to his neck. Another groan escaped feeling JC's kisses along his neck, feeling his suck on his protruding Adam's apple. "Please," he nearly whimpered feeling JC's hips press into his again, their erections rubbing.

"What baby?" JC whispered hotly in his ear as he traced the shell of Lance's ear.

"Make love to me," Lance felt JC's lips form a smile and allowed himself to be rolled over.