PART III

"Don't," Nick grabbed his wife's hand and pulled it away from her mouth before she could chew on her fingernail.

Rachel sighed and worked her fingers between her husband's. She felt him squeeze her hand and she gave an answering squeeze. "I'm just nervous," she said. When she was nervous, it was a bad habit of hers to bite her fingernails.

"Why are you nervous? We're just going to Lance's," Nick pulled into his brother-in-law's driveway, empty except for Lance's and JC's vehicles. A glance at the clock told him Lance's radio show had only ended ten minutes ago. He must have kicked his guests out rather quickly.

"I know. But he wanted to talk with us. Nothing good ever comes from those."

"You're crazy," Nick chuckled as he turned off the car and unbuckled his belt. "How do you know it's not something like wanting us to dog sit while he and JC go off on some random visit to New York or Maryland?"

"Because we would have been allowed to bring Olivia. This time he specifically mentioned not to bring her," Rachel told him as her mind worked feverishly to figure out what Lance and JC wanted to talk to them about. "That never happens. They never pass up an opportunity to see Olivia. Plus if it was just to dog sit, I'd get a text. No this is something big."

"Well, let's go find out," he reached out and removed Rachel's free hand from her mouth. "Before you don't have any nails left."

Rachel made a face at Nick before climbing out of the vehicle. They made their way to Lance's front door, letting themselves in. They were barely three steps in the door when they were surrounded by Lance's furry kids. She crouched down passing out hugs and scratches and rubs, receiving licks and kisses with wet noses. "You wanna come home with me?" She asked Foster as she nuzzled his face.

"She got Carter the same way," Lance told JC, grinning.

"I can get Nick to wag his tail like this," Rachel looked up at her brother as she loved on his dog. With a final pat to Foster, she stood. Her stomach rolled and she swallowed roughly. "Alright first things first."

Lance raised a questioning eyebrow.

"You're not sick and or dying?"

"What?" Lance asked taken back. "No I'm not sick and or dying."

"Good," she looked at JC, nailing the brunette with a look. "You're not sick and or dying?"

"No," JC said amused. His eyes flickered past Rachel to Nick, who just rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"Good," she nodded and looked back and forth between Lance and JC. Her eyes narrowed. "You're not breaking up are you?"

"No."

"Definitely not."

Rachel blew out a breath, her body slumping with relief. "Jesus, don't scare me like that again! I spent the whole night thinking about the worst possible scenarios. I barely got any sleep."

"And because she didn't sleep, I didn't either." Nick said.

"Why do you think it's something bad?" Lance asked as they finally moved away from the door making their way into the living room.

"Because nothing good ever comes from the words 'We need to talk'," Rachel took a seat on one side of the L-shaped couch. Across the room next to the entertainment center was the toy box, over stuffed with all of Olivia's toys.

"Not all the time," Lance said sitting down next to JC. He could feel his sister's nervousness. He was feeling the same way. His heart felt lodged in his throat. He knew if Rachel and Nick said no, there were still many options for him and JC. Rachel's answer didn't put the nail in their dreams.

"Most of the time," Rachel amended. She looked back and forth between JC and Lance. She could tell they both looked scared and nervous and that didn't nothing to help settle her own nerves. She reached for Nick's hand, holding it tightly. "You're gonna have to just tell me Lance. Because I can't stop thinking this is something bad."

"It's nothing bad, I promise." Lance assured his sister.

"If it's nothing bad, then why does JC look like he's about to throw up?" Rachel observed the paleness in the brunette's face. "I don't think I've seen JC this pale since he found out just how many shots he needed to get before going to Africa." She didn't think it was possible, but JC paled even more at the mention of shots. JC was deathly afraid of needles.

"Probably a good thing NSYNC's not on tour then," Nick spoke up looking at JC. He had teased JC mercilessly when he found out about JC's phobia, until he realized just how bad it was. Then it wasn't as funny anymore. "I think the shot list has grown."

"Stop it," Rachel smacked Nick's shoulder. "Okay. Lay it on me Lance. Before I go crazy."

"Well there are two things," Lance started glancing at JC. He smiled at his boyfriend and reached for JC's hand. "We're engaged --" He was unable to say anything else for the loud shriek. In seconds Rachel was nearly in his lap as she hugged him. He laughed, some of the nerves dissipating.

"Think she's happy?" Nick said dryly watching his wife pull away from her brother only to wrap her arms around JC. He stood and held out his hand when Lance stood now that he was free from his sister. He shook Lance's hand before pulling him into a hug. "Congrats man."

"Thanks," Lance laughed as Rachel hugged him again, allowing Nick to congratulate JC. "I take it you're happy?"

"Happy doesn't even begin to describe what I am!" Rachel leaned back, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Lance this is fantastic!" She hugged him tightly again as more tears welled in her eyes. She heard her twin's deep laughter rumble in her ear and she squeezed him.

"Are you getting married in Maryland?" Nick asked once they sat back down. The air was certainly lighter than it had been before, but he still felt there was something else JC and Lance were waiting to tell them. That was the piece of news he was worried about.

"No," JC shook his head. "We're going to wait until it's legal in California."

"Yeah, doesn't make sense to get married in another state and come back to our home and have it not recognized," Lance explained. "This wasn't planned," he continued, looking at JC with a small smile.

"I know how that goes," Nick said under his breath. He own proposal to Rachel hadn't been planned at all. His idea of the perfect proposal was not being lost in a National Forest with no food or shelter and while talking about the things they regretted in life because they weren't sure they were going to be rescued. It definitely hadn't been at the top of his proposal ideas.

"Well it was nothing as drastic as yours," Lance teased. "That was sort of over the top. Anyone with half a brain could have told you Rachel would have said yes sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast."

"I wouldn't go that easy," Rachel smiled at Nick. "A little effort goes a long way." She looked back at her brother and his boyfr...fiancée now. Her smile broadened. This was the happiest news she'd received in a long time. It thrilled her to no extent that her brother was as happy as she was. After everything they'd been through, Lance and JC were able to come back together. She looked down at their hands, entwined just like hers and Nick's. A glint of silver caught her eye and she leaned forward to get a better look. Wrapped around the ring finger of JC's left hand was a band of gold. Her gaze moved to Lance's free hand resting in his thigh and she smiled softly seeing a matching ring of gold. When her eyes met Lance's she said, "Rings?"

"Yeah," Lance looked down at the ring encircling his finger. It had only been there for a couple days but it felt as if it had been there forever. It held the promise that someday he was going to marry JC.

"Why did you make me think it was bad news! Why all the ominous 'we need to talk' and 'don't bring Olivia'?"

"It's not bad news, it was never bad news." Lance said. "I'm sorry if I made you think it was bad."

"So if it's not bad news then what is it?" Rachel asked looking at her brother first then JC. "Just tell me already," she pleaded when they looked at each other.

"We decided to have a baby."

~*~

"So...."

Rachel looked up seeing Nick walking into the living room after he'd been upstairs settling Olivia in her bed. Usually they both put Olivia to bed, but she still had yet to recover from the earlier conversation with Lance and JC.

'We decided to have a baby,' Lance spoke, his eyes sparkling.

'We want you to help,' JC continued. His stomach somersaulted and he tightened his hold on Lance's hand. He would welcome any baby he and Lance would bring into their family, but he wasn't going to lie and pretend he didn't want this option the most.

'We want to use your egg and JC's sperm,' Lance explained. 'That way the baby will really, truly be...'

'Ours,' JC finished with Lance.

"I figured you would have been jumping for joy, ecstatic and ready to do it tonight if possible," Nick sat down next to Rachel, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. She snuggled into his side. "Well, as soon as the doctors do it because that's the only way JC's stuff is getting anywhere near your eggs."

Rachel snorted before she started giggling. She kissed his scruffy cheek, worming her arms around his waist. "It's weird; I thought I'd be completely excited too."

"I know; this was your 'completely outrageous' thing you'd do when I asked you."

"It was," Rachel nodded. "It's completely different being faced with the situation than just thinking about it. This is a huge decision," she sat up placing her elbows on her knees and rubbed her face with her hands. "There's so much to go into making this decision. I want to say yes so bad..."

"Then say yes," Nick scooted forward. He rubbed his hand on Rachel's back, stroking gently.

Rachel turned her head, staring at Nick wide-eyed. "Say yes? If I recall, you're the one that could barely remember his own name when I first mentioned this in the woods. Now you're behind it?"

"Crazy isn't it?" Nick sent Rachel half a smile. "Blame it on Olivia."

"What's Olivia got to do with it?"

"When you first brought this up, we weren't married - we weren't even engaged. I knew I was going to propose. I had warmed up the marriage thing, but a baby? Rachel, I was scared to death when you told me you were pregnant. All I could think about was how I was raised, my family life and my parents. I didn't want to be like them..."

"You aren't," Rachel tucked her arm through his and clasped his hand, threading their fingers together. "You are an amazing Daddy."

Nick grinned, "I love her so much. I can't imagine her not being a part of my life. She makes me a better person. I'm so happy, so blessed..." he shook his head, a smile on his lips. "I just want everyone to be as happy as I am. Lance and JC want that. I think they should have that."

"Aww," Rachel felt tears well in her eyes as she listened to her husband's words. She laid her head on his shoulder, tightening her arm around his. "It's just now I have all these... things floating around in my head.

"Let's hear 'em," Nick let go of Rachel's hand and moved back on the couch, settling in. He reached forward grasping his wife's hips and pulled her onto his lap allowing her to swing her legs up on the cushions. He wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her to him as she laid her head on his shoulder.

"Well first this is gonna happen within the next couple months. I don't think Lance brought this up to wait until next year. You're going on tour. If I'm pregnant, I won't be able to travel as much. I can't carry Lance and JC's child and then just take off on tour. They'll miss the pregnancy. It's not fair to them if I'm traveling all over the country and overseas while pregnant with their child. I feel as if I should be around them so they are actually a part of the pregnancy. This is their child and they are already going to be missing out on some aspects because they won't be around me all the time."

"When you wake up in the middle of the night with a craving, I'll be sure to call them," Nick grinned.

"That's what I'm talking about. The cravings, the puking, clothes not fitting, swollen feet, the crying jags..."

"I don't know Rach... This is sounding great so far. Ow!" He reached up rubbing his chest where she pinched him.

Rachel glared at him. "You do know that while this 'trying to get pregnant' thing is going on, we probably won't be allowed having sex."

Nick frowned hearing Rachel. "Now what a minute. Maybe I was too quick to say yes. Not allowed having sex with my wife? That's a major major con."

"It would only be until I get pregnant," Rachel explained running the fingers of her right hand over his chest. "Don't want to take the chance of one of your swimmers winning the race instead."

"Well that's not too terrible."

"No, but it is if I'm supposed to be having JC's baby. That would be bad."

"Yes. So right now your worries are not being able to tour with me and not being able to have sex with me. I'm feeling pretty damn loved right about now."

Rachel lifted her head kissing her husband softly. "You are pretty damn loved. By me," she kissed him again. "But you're right; those are pretty selfish reasons on my part, huh?"

Nick hummed his agreement. "And you know Lance and JC are gonna drive you up the wall with always being around you, checking up on you, not allowing you to do anything..."

"That reminds me of someone. I wonder who that could be?"

"Don't know what you're talking about," Nick felt a blush creep across his face. During Rachel's pregnancy, he was a little overprotective. So much so Rachel threatened to leave him if he didn't lay off. He didn't think that would actually happen but he hadn't wanted to take any chances. "What else is there?"

"Normal pregnancy fears. What if something happens? It's not my baby. I'm carrying this child for someone else. They are trusting me with this precious gift and all I have to do is nurture it for nine months."

"Sweetie, you will not allow anything to happen to this baby," Nick said softly. "You know that. While you were pregnant with Olivia you ate right, you exercised, you did everything the doctor said. Read everything you could. This gift you are giving Lance and JC will be no different."

"What if being pregnant makes me want another one? I'm thirty-six Nick. I'm getting too old to be having kids. I would like another child," the last line came out quietly. "Doing this for Lance and JC, depending on how long it takes to actually get pregnant, by the time I can have another child I could be staring forty right in the face. And what if something happens during this pregnancy and I can't have anymore kids?"

"Rachel, you're borrowing time. You can't look at the negative like that. If something happens then you know what? We have Olivia. And she's the very best in the world. And you were able to give JC and Lance something I'm sure many gay couples would love to have. A child that is biologically theirs. Their baby would have a piece of each of them."

With her left arm wrapped around Nick's neck, she brought her right hand up to meet its partner. She hugged him as they fell into silence while she gathered her thoughts. "You know what scares me the most?"

Nick pressed a kiss into Rachel's head as he tightened his arms around her, holding her more securely in his lap. "What?"

"That I'm not strong enough, after birth, to leave the hospital empty handed." That was the sole piece that really held her back. Everything else had just been excuses. But this, this was vital. "I'm carrying a baby for nine months. I've felt every little kick and move. My body nurtured this child. Once the baby is born, the doctor will hand he or she over to Lance or JC and I'm going to be handed papers to sign; signing away my rights. I just... I don't know if I'm strong enough to do that."

The same fears went through Nick's head as well. This was his wife that was pregnant. She was sleeping in his arms each night. He was the one that would be seeing changes to her body, feeling the wondrous baby kicks. He would be watching that moment when Rachel pushed a new life into the world. He would hear the new baby's cry and watch as the doctor would hand the baby to another man. Watch as another man would cut the umbilical cord. Then, a couple days later, he'll be walking next to a wheelchair ridden Rachel as she was pushed out to his waiting vehicle. He'll gingerly help her out of the chair and into the passenger seat. There would be no car seat in the back. They would drive home where they would be no welcoming party.

"In the delivery room, there'd be no one for me. JC and Lance will be fawning all over the new baby, as they should... and I just... "

"No, no, no," Nick shook his head. He cupped Rachel's chin, raising it so he could look into her green eyes wet with tears. "I'll be there for you. I'll be sitting right next to you the whole time. I'll be with you from the moment you go into labor until you're released from the hospital and every day after. Tour be damned because you are more important."

Tears slid down Rachel's cheeks at Nick's words. "Oh Nick..."

"The fact that you are willing to do this for Lance, for JC...it makes me love you even more."

"I don't think I could do this without you," she whispered, resting her forehead against his. "You'll be with me every step of the way?"

"Every step," Nick promised. He slid his hand from her chin to her cheek and brought her lips to his. His lips opened and closed over hers and he could taste the saltiness of her tears as they mixed with their kisses. He worked himself forward on the couch, rising slowly with her in his arms. "I got you," he whispered against her lips feeling her hands search for substance. "I'm not going to let you fall. Would never hurt you."

"What are you doing?"

"Carrying you to our bedroom where I plan on making love to the most beautiful, good-hearted, selfless woman, who has a heart of gold. And take pleasure in the fact that she's all mine."

As her back touched the cool comforter on their bed, she smiled looking into her husband bright blue eyes. "Always yours Nick. Always."