JC groaned and threw a pillow across the floor. What had he tried to do last night? It was dumb. He had acted like a hormone-induced teenager thinking about her like he had. And then standing so close to her by Emma-Claire’s door? What was that? He rolled out of bed and still tried to get the image out of his head of her standing there, completely confused and looking at him like he was crazy. But he couldn’t shake her scent. It was clean and fresh, with a hint of something fruit-induced. He shook himself from thoughts of her once more before stepping into the shower. It was just because he hadn’t been out on a date. He hadn’t had sex in a good two months and this is what happened to him. He just fantasized about whoever was readily available to him. But he would not fantasize about Annie. She wasn’t even his type. And she probably was pretty innocent when it came to the bedroom. No. He would find some way to get her out of his head and not ever relive whatever that was from the night before.

His phone was buzzing as soon as he stepped out of the shower and JC grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, reaching for the phone next to the sink. It was Jimmy.

“Good news. Good Morning, America wants to feature the girls on a new segment for their show. Something about presenting new and upcoming bands for the winter line-up. The Today Show got wind and they want them to appear on Friday. I just got the call today. We’re leaving for New York tomorrow,”

“Are you serious?” JC felt almost giddy. This was the call he’d been waiting for. The girls had been getting recognized on the Internet and social media, but putting them on television would make their fan base double in size.

“Yeah, man. And Seventeen agreed to go ahead and do the interview while we’re in town,” Jimmy continued. “I got my manager to book us a whole floor at the Waldorf.”

“Awesome,” JC grinned. Good. A few days in New York City. Just what he needed. “I’ll see you later today. Wait till I get there before you tell the girls.”

“You got it,”

JC hung up and ran a hand through his wet hair, tousling it. He walked into his bedroom, excited about what all this was going to mean. Publicity for his band. It wasn’t going to take as long as he thought. They were actually going to be on two of the major morning shows across the nation. He sat down on his bed and sent out a Tweet: @GirlRadical is gonna make headlines soon. Stay tuned. #goodmorningamerica #thetodayshow

He knew his feed would blow up within a matter of seconds and he couldn’t help but sit there and watch as fans began to retweet and respond.

“Emma-Claire! No, come back here!”

JC jumped when he heard Annie’s voice frantically calling for Emma-Claire. Suddenly, his bedroom door was thrown open and Emma-Claire stood on the other side giggling and running towards him, Annie fast on her heels. JC stood abruptly as Emma-Claire’s arms were thrown around his waist. He held onto the towel for dear life.

“Emma-Claire! Stop!” He scolded her and moved away, causing Emma-Claire to stumble and fall backwards.  She gasped and looked up at him. Her eyes filled with tears and she sucked in her breath, suppressing a sob that eventually was let out. Annie stood in the doorway, immediately coming to her aid and doing her best to avert her eyes from the sight of JC in nothing but a towel.

“I told you to knock, sweetie,” Annie consoled the child, then let herself look up at JC, doing her best not to look anywhere but his face.

“Sorry. I was, um, just startled and getting dressed,” JC muttered, and pulled the towel more tightly around him. Annie couldn’t help but notice how chiseled his chest and his arms were. She was only getting a peripheral view, but she wasn’t blind by any means, either.

“She just wanted to see you,” Annie stood from her kneeling position on the floor. “C’mon, Emma-Claire. Let Daddy get dressed and we’ll get breakfast.”

JC cursed under his breath after his door was closed and laid back on his bed, rubbing his eyes and feeling those thoughts of Annie creep into his head once more. Her skinny jeans had outlined her legs and the shirt she was wearing today was a V-neck, letting her cleavage creep out ever so slightly.

He needed to get laid and not by the nanny.

Annie had just finished scooping out the last portion of oatmeal into Emma-Claire’s bowl when JC sauntered into the kitchen. He nodded at both of them and poured a cup of coffee. Annie looked away from him and focused on Emma-Claire. She tried not to think about what she’d seen, not to mention what she’d almost seen. The images of last night were still fresh in her head. JC breathing her in. JC so close to her that…

“Annie?”

Annie shook herself from the thought she was about to have and forced a smile at Emma-Claire. “Yes, sweetie?”

“What are we doing today?” Emma-Claire shoved a bite of oatmeal into her mouth and looked at her beloved nanny.

“Well, I thought we’d go to the library and check out a few books. Then we can go to the park and play for a while. How does that sound?” Annie felt JC’s eyes on her and refused to look up.

“Yeah!” Emma-Claire nodded with enthusiasm.

“I need to talk to you really quick,” JC interrupted the conversation and Annie was forced to look up at him. He was dressed in a red button down shirt that fit him perfectly around the chest. She ignored that and focused on his face instead and what he was saying to her.

“Okay,” Annie said, expecting him to apologize for his outburst earlier.

“I’m leaving for New York tomorrow. My band is appearing on Good Morning America and The Today Show,” he told her, standing next to Emma-Claire. “We’ll be back on Friday. I might need you on Saturday morning in case we get in late.”

“Why can’t we go with you, Daddy?” Emma-Claire looked up at him, her blue eyes looking into his. JC wondered how the kid was so forgiving after he’d just made her cry minutes before that.

“Because it’s a short trip and you’d be bored,” JC turned away and dumped the remainder of his coffee in the sink. “I gotta go. I’ll try and be back in time to get her in bed,” he told Annie.

“Daddy, I’m sorry I didn’t knock and came into your room,” Emma-Claire hopped out of the booth and walked over to him. “I didn’t mean to make you mad.”

JC sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, a smile escaping his lips. “It’s okay. It just surprised me is all,”

Annie sat there waiting for him to apologize for yelling but he didn’t.

“Anyway, you guys have a good day. Bye, Annie,” he waved as he left the kitchen and Annie tried her best not to let out a huff of annoyance. Emma-Claire walked over and stood in front of her. “I said I was sorry, Annie. He still likes me!”

Annie couldn’t help but pull the child into her arms and hug her because she knew she wasn’t getting hugged on much from her own father. “Of course he likes you, baby. He’s your daddy,” she let out a shaky sigh and pulled away from the hug. “Why do you think he wouldn’t like you?”

“He doesn’t tuck me in like you do, Annie,” Emma-Claire replied. “When he tucks me in he does it real fast and won’t read me a book.”

Annie wanted to believe that after yesterday he would change. She didn’t want to succumb to the thoughts she had had about him reverting back to the way he’d acted two weeks ago when she’d first started. Yesterday he’d seemed different to her. Or maybe that was just her way of thinking because of that dumb interaction after they’d tucked in Emma-Claire. She had to get that out of her head and fast.

“Let’s go to the library,” Annie stood decidedly and wanted to change the subject for Emma-Claire’s sake. She desperately wanted to tell JC something but she knew it wasn’t her place. She dumped the dishes in the sink and followed Emma-Claire upstairs to get her ready.

“I thought you forgot my number,” Lauren cooed into the phone.

JC grinned at her response. Lauren was his “go to” when he didn’t have anyone else. They’d known each other for years and she hadn’t minded being his friend with benefits. She just got a little agitated that he sometimes waited so long in between trysts.

“I’ve been busy, mama, you know that,” his voice was soft and husky. He looked into the next room of the rehearsal hall where the girls were practicing a few dance moves.

“Save that little pet name for the bedroom. Hey, is it true you’ve got a kid now?”

“Yeah. That’s another story,” JC shook his head. “What are you doing tonight?”

“I have dinner plans with a few friends,” Lauren replied, pausing before she continued just to make him anxious. “But I bet I can meet up with you afterwards.”

“I gotta leave early in the morning. Meet me at that bar we always go to. What’s it called again?”

“Shots. Yeah. I’ll be there. What time?”

“Eight,” JC didn’t think about tucking Emma-Claire in that night. He was only thinking about one thing and that was getting Lauren into his bed and forgetting about all of the thoughts he’d had earlier about Annie.

“Perfect. See you then, Jace,”

He hung up the phone and shifted a little so that the tightness in his pants wouldn’t be obvious when he walked back into the rehearsal hall. The thought of being with Lauren again made him hot all over and he tried not to concentrate on how it was going to feel to be with a woman again.

“But I want to see Daddy before he leaves!” Emma-Claire sniffled as Annie pulled the covers over her later that night.

Annie sighed and didn’t know what to tell her. She was beyond annoyed at JC right now. He’d told her that he’d be back to get Emma-Claire into bed and now it was past 9:00. “I know, honey. I know,” Annie bent down to peck her forehead. “I’ll tell him to go upstairs as soon as he gets home. Okay?”

Emma-Claire wiped her nose with the back of her hand and nodded, completely defeated. “Goodnight, Annie.”

“Goodnight, sweet girl,” Annie stood from the bed and went to walk out into the hall.

“Annie?”

“Yeah, honey?” Annie turned and Emma-Claire beckoned her with her finger. Annie went back to her and knelt down next to the bed.

“Can I tell you a secret?” Emma-Claire asked softly.

“Of course. You can tell me anything, Emma-Claire,” Annie smoothed out the brown hair next to the little girl’s face.

“I love you. You and Mimi. ‘Cept you’re like my new mommy now,” Emma-Claire whispered.

Annie felt a surge of emotion rise within her. Ruby and Henry had both said they loved her before but they were certain they knew they had a mother who loved them even more than Annie did. Emma-Claire had nobody and it was obvious by how JC had acted this morning. All of that he’d pulled before was just for the interview yesterday.

“I love you, too,” Annie leaned over and kissed the little girl’s cheek. She rose once more and left the room. Her heart hurt for the child. She wanted to take JC Chasez and punch him in the gut until he knew what it felt like to be hurt like his child was hurting.

As she sat down on the couch in the living room and aimed the remote at the television, her phone buzzed. She looked at the unfamiliar number and answered.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Annie, it’s Doug,”

Annie grimaced. The last time she’d seen him had been yesterday when he’d met her at the back door of the kitchen. They’d both been hung over. Megan had texted her earlier that afternoon and told her that Doug was really into her and that he might call. Annie had ignored it because she’d been busy coloring with chalk on the back patio with Emma-Claire and wasn’t paying it much attention.

“Hi,” she sat back against the couch. “How are you?”

“I’m good. What are you up to right now?”

“I’m watching television and waiting for my boss to get home,”

“Oh. Never mind, then. I was going to see if you wanted to go for a drink tonight,”

“Sorry. I’m still working,”

“Yeah. Um, so I guess you’re working tomorrow then?”

Obviously. She was a nanny.

“Mmhm. In fact I’m on every day and night because my boss is going out of town till Friday,”

“Ok. Well, then, I guess I’ll talk to you later,”

“Sorry, Doug,”

“Yeah. Me, too,”

Annie hung up and immediately felt guilty. Doug hadn’t been awful. In fact, it had just been nice to be intimate with someone because she hadn’t been so in a long time. She stared at her phone for a minute and hit redial.

“Hey, Doug. It’s Annie. If you want, you could come over tomorrow night around 9. Emma-Claire will be in bed and we could watch a movie,”

“That sounds great. I’m leaving on Friday to go back to Dallas so tomorrow night is perfect,”

Annie smiled. “Great. See you then.”

She hung up and relaxed on the couch finding a movie on Lifetime to keep her occupied until JC finally decided to return home.

At eleven, Annie heard the garage door open and in a minute JC appeared in the living room with a woman behind him. She was dressed in tight fitting jeans and a top that clung to her breasts. Her almost white blond hair hung down to her waist and she occasionally flipped it off of her shoulders while she waited for JC to talk to Annie.

“So, I’m leaving tomorrow morning. I’ll check in throughout the week but I’m only gone till Friday. Any emergencies just let me know. Did she do okay today?” JC was standing by the stairs and Annie could tell he was only going through formalities so that he could get this woman upstairs to his bed.

“She was really sad that you weren’t here to tuck her into bed,” Annie turned the television off and stood to face him. “I told her you’d tell her goodnight when you came in.”

JC looked at the top of the stairs towards Emma-Claire’s room and sighed. “Yeah. I’m still trying to figure-“

“It is what it is, JC. But she’s really sad,” Annie hadn’t cared that she cut him off.

“Yeah, I got that Annie,” his voice was harsher now. “Like I was trying to say. I’m still trying to figure this all out.” He turned to Lauren. “Go on upstairs. I’ll be there in a minute.”

Lauren pulled JC to her lips and kissed him hungrily in front of Annie, then walked up the stairs, sashaying her hips so that JC could enjoy every minute of them. Annie rolled her eyes and folded her arms across her chest, still glaring at JC.

“She also told me that she doesn’t think you like her,” Annie knew she was saying too much. She would have never spoken this way to the McGriffin’s or most likely anyone else she would have nannied for. But JC was hardly being professional, either.

“I’m trying,” JC muttered. “I’ll…I’ll get her something in New York. She likes to color, right? I’ll get her a dozen coloring books.”

“Awesome. Buy her love,” Annie said under her breath, but JC heard her loud and clear.

“I don’t know what else to do!” he finally snapped. “I’m sorry that this seems to come easy for you but I have no fucking clue what I’m doing!”

“You seemed to be fine before the interview. You knew what to do then!” Annie had crossed the line and she knew it by the look on his face.

“I think you should go back to the pool house. I’ll see you when I get back, Annie,” JC veered away from her and went upstairs. Annie stood there and watched, biting her lip so hard that she almost tasted blood. She wanted to make sure he stopped in Emma-Claire’s room before he went and spent all night in bed with that woman. When she saw him open Emma-Claire’s door and poke his head in, she sighed and walked through the kitchen and out to the pool house. He could have fired her for being mouthy and she knew it.

But she wasn’t stupid;  he needed her a lot more than she needed this job.

JC tried to forget the fight he’d just encountered with Annie. He tried to forget that he’d admitted trying to buy Emma-Claire’s love with coloring books instead of being a real father. He tried to forget that he was being the one man that he swore he’d never be and that was his birth father. He tried to concentrate on Lauren and began to vigorously pump in and out of her. She tangled her fingers in his hair and he began to go faster, feeling her clamp down on him and releasing into her with a loud groan. “Stop waiting so long to call,” Lauren gasped, catching her breath as JC rolled off of her. “Baby, that was amazing. God, you really gave it your all just then.”

JC brought his arm across his forehead and closed his eyes willing his breathing to return to normal. He felt Lauren roll over and he was grateful. Sometimes she wanted to go again and normally he would have as well. But tonight was different. Tonight he hadn’t enjoyed it nearly as much. He’d been distracted because he was starting to feel like the world’s biggest jerk for leaving his daughter the next day. Especially after she’d told Annie that she thought her father didn’t like her.

But did he?
He thought of the child, always greeting him with a hug and recounting everything she’d done with Annie so far that day. Asking him when he would tuck her in became a ritual and he knew he was awful at it. He wondered how long it had taken his own father to realize that he didn’t want to be a dad. Not long, he guessed, since JC had never heard from him and his birth mother hadn’t really mentioned him unless he was asked about. He didn’t want to become that person. He’d always said he would be a good dad whenever the time had come. Well, the time was here. He knew that. He’d known it for two weeks. He rolled over on his side and continued to process. When he got back from New York, things would change. They would have to or else he saw himself slipping away from the reality of the child that lived right down the hall. The child that, whenever he looked at her, he saw a piece of himself.