JC pulled out of the driveway at 7:00. The drive in rush-hour traffic would take at least 45 minutes and if he had to be there at 8:00, he’d rather be early than later. He hadn’t wanted to get up. The last two mornings had been draining dealing with jet lag and lack of sleep. He and Annie had briefly seen each other in the evening, but each night had gotten significantly later and later. He knew she was silently upset but wasn’t saying anything. He could tell when he’d get home after eleven every night that in her silence she was sad that they weren’t able to spend as much time together as she’d probably thought when he came back from Korea. Not to mention the fact he hadn’t laid eyes on his daughter in over 48 hours. On the plus side, he was getting a substantial amount of work done with re-recording the demo. Jimmy had been able to finagle a few of the other demos the girls had made so that they wouldn’t have to redo every single song. This had been a relief to JC, who was already concerned about how they would have time to do the recording, get ready for a tour, and upcoming appearances around the state. When he was at work, his mind was at work and he didn’t have time to think about the fact that he wasn’t seeing his girlfriend or his daughter as much. But for him, this was how it had to be and Annie would come to understand that. She’d already been understanding about a lot of other things in their relationship, so why wouldn’t she get that he was a busy producer and manager and that right now, their time had to be this way. By the time he pulled into the studio, JC had forgotten about feeling guilty for not being around for Annie and Emma-Claire. He’d been able to manipulate himself into thinking that this was just how it had to be and understanding him like this was just going to be a way of life for all of them.

“Ok next week we have that appearance in Burbank,” JC was telling the girls later that morning. “So we’ll meet here at the same time and drive together. We should be back by four and you guys can just have the rest of the day off.”

“And then the following day, you have an interview with a teen webzine. We’ll do that here in the studio via Skype and then we need to rehearse,” Jimmy followed up. “We want you to rest as much as possible so we’ll give you that rest of the day to rest and get ready for the appearances next weekend in Anaheim and Santa Monica.” Jimmy turned to JC and said out of the corner of his mouth, “And that goes for you, too.”

JC looked at him questioningly. “What?”

“You need to be at home, too. Don’t be up here the whole day in this studio, man. When’s the last time you saw your kid?” Jimmy looked over at the girls. “Take five to get water and then head back to the mics.” The girls dispersed and began to take out iPhones and iPods.

JC sighed and shook his head. “Sunday. I think.”

“It’s Tuesday, C. Don’t do this to your kid. Or to Annie.”

JC said nothing, only looked down at the control panel, adjusted his glasses, and let out a breath of hesitation. “Jimmy, you know we’ve got deadlines and I don’t like to half-ass anything.”

“Well, half-assing this project and half-assing time with two people you love can result in a lot of different things. You don’t want to lose Annie and I’m afraid if you start this again, she’s not going to put up with it,” Jimmy leaned against the soundboard and looked at JC. “Don’t stay here into the night. It’ll all take care of itself.”

JC didn’t say anything, only picked up a set of headphones and listened to a recent track the girls had recorded. Jimmy shook his head and walked away.

“I’m singing in a show!” Emma-Claire greeted Annie when she’d come to pick up the little girl from preschool. “Look!” She thrust a piece of light blue cardstock in Annie’s hand. On it was the date and time of the preschool’s upcoming spring play. It would be the following Wednesday at 10:00 in the morning. “And I have a song I sing all by myself!” Emma-Claire continued, grabbing Annie’s hand as they began to walk out of the building.

“Wow, this is awesome, girl!” Annie grinned down at her. “I’ll be sure to put this on the refrigerator and let Daddy know.” All morning she’d been brooding silently at home about the fact that she’d barely seen JC since Saturday night. On Sunday he’d woken up with them, had breakfast, and had holed himself down in his home studio for the better part of the day. He emerged only when Annie had gone down to let him know there was dinner ready. He’d left to go meet Jimmy at the other studio after dinner and returned a little after eleven. On Monday, he’d left before Annie had woken up and she’d felt his lips on her cheek before he walked out of their bedroom. He’d come home late that night and Annie had barely been awake on the couch. And then, that morning, Annie hadn’t even heard him leave because it had been so early. She’d texted him while Emma-Claire had been at preschool but hadn’t heard back and by the time she left to go and pick her up, Annie’s phone still remained quiet.

“Can we invite Lance and Michael, too?” Emma-Claire asked, as Annie buckled her into her booster seat in the back of the car. Annie had to chuckle at that question. Ever since the couple had come over to deliver breakfast that morning the week before, Emma-Claire had taken it upon herself to think of them as her surrogate uncles or close friends.

“I’m sure we can invite them,” Annie told her, getting in the driver’s seat and starting the car.

“Will Daddy be home when we get there?” Emma-Claire asked, as Annie pulled out of the parking lot.

Annie bit on her lower lip and shook her head, looking at Emma-Claire through the rearview mirror. “No, babe. Sorry. He’s at work today.”

“He’s always at work,” Emma-Claire muttered and frowned. “Can we go see him?”

“I don’t think so, Emma. Maybe when he gets home tonight we can ask him,” it then dawned on Annie that he might be just as late if not later than he was the night before and Emma-Claire would already be in bed.

“Okay,” Emma-Claire sighed and looked out the window.

Annie looked down at the phone in the console and sighed, picking it up when she pulled up to a stoplight. It wouldn’t hurt to call him. Especially for Emma-Claire’s sake.

JC was busying himself in the sound booth and felt the vibration of his phone in his back pocket. He continued to listen as the girls belted out their song and pulled his phone out, smiling when he saw it was Annie, but knowing he didn’t have time to answer. He sighed and looked at Jimmy who was eyeing him.

“I’ll take it from here. Answer your damn phone,” Jimmy grumbled at him. “It’s Annie for crying out loud.”

JC shook his head, pulled off his headphones, and stood to walk out of the sound booth.

“Hey,” he greeted her. “What’s up?”

“Just got Emma from preschool and-“ Annie was interrupted by Emma-Claire yelling from the back of the car. “Hi Daddy!” Annie giggled into the phone. “-and she wanted to know if we could come by and see you at work. You know, since she hasn’t seen you in two days?” The last remark was backbiting and Annie knew it but she didn’t care.

“I’m working, Annie,” JC’s voice was low and his tone short.

“Yeah, I know. Trust me, I know,” Annie sighed. “I’m sorry, Josh, but-“

“No, don’t talk about it in front of Emma-Claire because we’ll just end up arguing.”

Annie pulled the phone away from her ear and looked at it, then put it back. “We will?”

“Well, I don’t know. We might. I don’t want to risk that in front of her.”

“Are you going to be home in time for her to see you before she goes to bed?” Annie looked up at the light as it turned green. She rolled the car forward, her elbow leaning on the windowsill, holding the phone to her ear.

“I hope so,” JC replied, looking back into the sound booth. He could clearly see three of the girls now glaring at each other and one of the three looking as though she was telling the other two off. “Shit, Annie, I gotta go. There’s about to be World War 3 in here with these girls.”

“Josh-“

“Sorry, baby. I’ll call you later.”

Annie heard the click on the other end and took in a breath, pursing her lips together and slowly releasing air through her nose. She looked back at Emma-Claire who was looking at her expectantly. “We can’t go see Daddy today. But maybe tonight me and you will go get a frozen yogurt after dinner.” It wasn’t seeing her father, but Annie felt that she had to do something for the child to make up for the fact that JC was starting to look like he had two months ago when she’d first begun to work for him.

“Is Daddy gonna come?” was Emma-Claire’s reply.

“I don’t know, Em,” Annie sighed and continued the familiar trek back to the house.

It was after midnight when the cab pulled up to JC’s driveway. He’d gone out for drinks with Jimmy and a few producer friends and had several beers and knew he was going to wake up with a bad hangover the next morning. Still, it had felt nice to go out and be with the guys for a bit. He walked in through the front door because he couldn’t remember the code to security pad on the garage. Not with that many beers in his system. Somehow, he managed to open the front door and stumbled inside the house. Annie was asleep on the couch, the television on mute, and she was holding her phone in her hand, which was hanging off the couch. JC grinned at his sleeping girlfriend and immediately went to her.

“Hey, sexy,” he whispered in her ear and Annie jumped, bumping her forehead against his.

“Ow!” she yelped, then smelled the alcohol on JC’s breath. “Josh, are you drunk?”

“No!” he laughed and toppled over her. “I had a few beers.” He began to kiss her cheek and then her neck.

“You’re drunk,” Annie moved and tried to push him off of her.

“Aw baby, don’t be that way!” JC pulled her back to him and Annie frowned.

“I don’t want to be with you when you’re this drunk,” she snapped and moved off of the couch. She stood and looked down at him. “I’m going to bed. Good of you to finally come home.”

“Annie!” JC tried to stand and tripped, grabbing onto her. They both tumbled to the floor. He landed on top of her and grinned drunkenly at her. “I like being on top of you, baby.” He leaned down once more to try and bite at her neck but Annie pushed him off and stood to her feet.

“I don’t like you being on top of me when you’re like this. I don’t like being with you at all when you’re like this!” she snapped at him again and walked towards the stairs. “Your daughter asked me to tell you to kiss her goodnight when you got home but I don’t want you going and waking her up in your state. I’m going to sleep in the guest room tonight. Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow if you decide to come home at a decent hour.” Annie began to ascend up the stairs but JC was fast on her heels.

“Don’t be such a bitch, Annie!” he grabbed her arm and Annie turned around glaring at him.

“Don’t give me a reason to be one!” she hissed and pushed his arm off of her. “I don’t want to talk to you right now, okay? Goodnight.” She turned once more and before JC could stop her, she’d gone into the guest room and firmly shut the door behind her. He stood on the step where she’d left him and stared after her for a minute before he finally finished climbing the stairs and walking to the bedroom. He didn’t change out of his clothes before collapsing onto the bed and immediately falling asleep.

JC awoke the next day to the sounds of music being played downstairs. It was some sort of pop song that he couldn’t make out and it only made the pounding in his head worse. He lifted his head, the drool from his mouth falling onto the duvet. He wiped it off with the back of his hand and groaned from both the headache and the nausea in his stomach. Lifting himself off the bed, he stumbled into the bathroom. As he sauntered to the toilet, he pulled his phone out of his back pocket and saw that it was almost dead and that it was almost noon. He suddenly came to life, scrolling through the missed calls from Jimmy and then noticing a few texts from Annie from a few days before. He then remembered their fight and winced immediately, wondering what would happen when he appeared downstairs.

“I’m just as hung over,” Jimmy told him, when JC had called him in a panic. “I texted the girls and said we’d be there later this afternoon.”

“I got in a fight with Annie last night,” JC replied. “She was pissed that I was that drunk. I don’t remember much but I remember calling her a bitch.”

“You’d better get downstairs and make nice. I don’t think you’ve exactly been boyfriend of the year this week.”

“Yeah, well, how’s your wife since you’re at the studio just as much?” JC snapped.

“C, you know I’ve left hours before you did. Don’t go there,” Jimmy’s voice was calm but had an edge to it.

“Fine,” JC sighed. “I’ll see you in a couple of hours.”

“I’ll pick you up around three since your car’s still at the studio,” Jimmy told him. “There’s no need to get there earlier and you need to get over your hang over as much as I do. And you need to apologize and be with your kid and your girl.”

“Yeah,” JC replied. “I know. See you later.” He hung up and went to get in the shower.

Annie and Emma-Claire were downstairs in the living room dancing around as Annie dusted the furniture. Emma-Claire was on the couch bouncing up and down while Annie took the bottle of Pledge and pretended to use it as a microphone as they sang along to Demi Lovato. Emma-Claire giggled when Annie tilted her head back and lip-synched a high note. As Annie tipped her head back down, she heard Emma-Claire squeal, “Daddy!” Annie looked over at the stairs to see JC descending down them slowly. She looked away and continued to dust, giving Emma-Claire a chance to see her father.

“Hey, honey,” JC reached the bottom step and collected Emma-Claire in his arms, holding her tight. He kissed her cheek and set her down again. Looking over at Annie, he pursed his lips, then spoke, “Hey.”

Annie looked over at him and gave him a tight smile, then went back to dusting.

“Daddy, we’re having a dance party,” Emma-Claire informed him. “Oh and guess what! I’m going to sing a song in my play!”

“What play?” he looked from Emma-Claire to Annie. “What play, Annie?”

“She has a school play next week,” Annie still didn’t look at him, only continued to wipe off Pledge from the mantle of the fireplace. “She’s got a solo and is a daisy.”

“Were you gonna tell me about it?” his voice was sharp and he went to walk over to Annie.
“Uh huh,” Annie stood to her feet and faced him. “But when have I seen you to let you know?”

“You could’ve told me when you called me yesterday,” he countered and was trying to keep calm with Emma-Claire in the room.

“Yeah, you’re right. Because I had time to do that and all with how quick that conversation lasted,” Annie said coldly. She moved away from him and walked into the kitchen.

“Daddy, wanna go play in my playhouse?” Emma-Claire asked JC, following both adults into the kitchen.

“In a minute,” JC assured her. “Why don’t you go upstairs and see if you need to pick up any toys before we go outside?” He rubbed his forehead with his fingers and smiled at his daughter. “I need to talk to Annie for a minute.”

“Okay,” Emma-Claire obeyed and turned to run up the stairs.

“Annie,” JC started and walked over to her. She was leaning against the island, facing away from him.

“What?” she snapped and turned to look at him. “I don’t even know what to say after the last few days. You haven’t been home, you get wasted and come back last night and then call me a bitch, and now you’re mad because I didn’t tell you about Emma-Claire’s play? When have I had the opportunity?!”

“I know,” JC reached for her arm. “I’m sorry, Annie. I was a jerk last night.”

“That’s an understatement,” Annie mumbled. “You were an ass.”

JC paused and looked down at his feet then up at Annie again before he spoke. “Yes, I was. And I’m sorry. I want this to work. All of it. I’m just trying to figure out how to do that.”
Annie didn’t say anything, only looked at him. His eyes had bags beneath them, his hair was still wet from the shower, and he looked tired. She let out a sigh and leaned in towards him. He folded his arms around her and neither of them spoke, just held each other in silence.

“This isn’t easy,” Annie finally said. “I want to see my boyfriend and Emma-Claire wants to see her dad.”

“I know,” JC rested his forehead on hers. “It’s just crazy right now with the recording again and appearances. It’ll get better.”

“But then you leave on tour,” Annie’s voice was slightly above a whisper. “And that’s a long time to be away from each other.”

“You’re coming with us to Asia. Don’t be stupid. I’m not leaving you two here for two months,” JC kissed her cheek and Annie rested her head against his chest.

“Fine,” she mumbled, feeling somewhat assured as his hands rubbed up and down her back.

“Am I forgiven?” he asked, pulling away from her and giving her a small smile.

Annie didn’t answer right away. He’d hurt her in the last three days and as much as she wanted it to be right between them again, she still felt her heart was bruised from the way he’d treated her yesterday.

“Josh, I want to forgive you,” Annie replied as honestly as she could. “But you hurt me a lot. You were short with me on the phone and last night…well-“

“I know. I was an idiot, Annie. I’m sorry. I wish I could take it back,” JC sighed. “I should’ve just come home and been with you and Emma-Claire. I wasn’t thinking.”

Annie nodded slowly and bit her lower lip, looking up at him. She knew she was beyond falling in love with him and she knew they were close to saying those three little words, which was why she found it easy to nod her head and let him know he was forgiven.

“I have to go to the studio around three. I promise I’ll come home in time to tuck Emma-Claire in bed,” he kissed Annie’s lips softly, then whispered in her ear, “and then tuck you in bed.”

Annie giggled between kisses. “Josh, don’t make that promise about coming home for Emma if you can’t keep it. I don’t want to get her hopes up.”

At that moment, Emma-Claire came bounding down the stairs with a handful of Barbie dolls and stuffed animals in her arms. “Let’s go play, Daddy!” she called to him, as she ran past him and Annie to the sliding glass doors.

At eight o’clock that evening, Annie and Emma-Claire sat in the living room together watching television. It was a comedy that went over Emma-Claire’s head but the little girl wasn’t paying attention. Her thoughts were on her father and Annie knew it from the way she kept wandering back and forth to the window and back to the couch. Annie checked her phone and JC had texted over an hour ago letting them know he’d be back by eight. She wanted to give him the benefit of doubt, especially after that morning when he’d vowed not to be late and when he’d been so sweet. But if it was anything like the past few evenings, she wondered if he’d keep his promise at all.

JC knew he was going to be late. He’d finally locked up the studio at 8:15 and cringed when he saw the time. He had to get better at keeping track of time and he knew it. Going to his car, he quickly typed a message to Annie telling her he was on his way. The studio was a good half-hour from the house and he asked her to keep Emma-Claire up until he got home.

Annie sighed and looked at the text that had just come in. “Emma, let’s go brush your teeth. Your dad’s running late,” Annie said and wanted to add ‘as usual’ but held her tongue. No sense in talking negatively about something that she already knew Emma-Claire could easily get upset about.

JC slammed his fist against the steering wheel. An accident on the freeway had backed up traffic for miles on end and he couldn’t even see three cars in front of him. He pulled out his phone and called Annie.

“Where are you?” Annie immediately asked, without greeting him. It was nearing 8:45 and Emma-Claire was fighting to stay awake in her bed.

“There’s been an accident and I’m stuck,” JC grumbled into the phone. “I’m trying to find the best way to get back.”

“When did you leave the studio?” Annie asked him, point blank. “I mean, did you leave in enough time like you said or-“

“Annie, I don’t have time to answer petty questions!” he snapped.

“Don’t get mad at me because you know you left after you said you would!” Annie retorted, giving it right back to him.

“Fine, then if you seem to know the answer already, why do you fucking ask me?”

“Just get home, okay?” was all she could manage to say. For the first time, she felt tears pricking her eyes and didn’t want him to know she was that upset.

“Annie, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-“

“Bye, Josh.”

Annie looked down at Emma-Claire whose eyes were fluttering open and closed. “He’s on his way. He got in traffic, babe.”

“Are you and Daddy fighting?” was Emma-Claire’s response. There was nothing they could hide from her, especially because JC had yelled over the phone and Emma-Claire had seen Annie’s expression. Annie hated that. She didn’t want Emma-Claire to be consumed with negative thoughts of her father’s relationship with Annie.

“Don’t worry about it, Em. Go to sleep. He’ll be home and he’ll come kiss you goodnight,” Annie bent over the child and kissed her cheek.

“I love you,” Emma-Claire yawned.

“How much?” Annie smiled warmly at her.

“To the moon and back,” Emma-Claire closed her eyes and rolled over.

JC sat in the driveway of his house and stared long and hard at the front of it. He didn’t want to get out. He knew he’d messed up yet again and by the time he’d gotten out of traffic it had been after nine. He saw the lights on in the living room and looked up at his bedroom to see it dark. Annie was downstairs waiting on him and he knew it. Finally, he pulled into the garage and slowly got out of the car. He walked into the kitchen and saw Annie at the breakfast nook with a cup of tea, reading a book.

“She’s waiting for you to kiss her goodnight,” was all Annie said to him and didn’t look up.

“Okay,” JC replied and threw his keys on the kitchen counter. He sauntered up the stairs and quietly opened the door to his daughter’s room. She was sound asleep and breathing rhythmically. He walked over to the edge of her bed and sat down staring at the little figure beneath him.

“Sorry I was late, baby girl,” JC whispered placed his hand on where her arm rested under the duvet. “I love you.” He reached over to peck her cheek and then stood, walking slowly out of her room, heading for the stairs. When he reached the kitchen he found Annie still seated at the breakfast nook, staring off into space.

“Annie,” he finally spoke.

She said nothing, nor did she move, only continued to look off into the distance.

“Ann,” he said again and walked over to her, placing his hands on her shoulders. He began to knead them in his hands and Annie pushed him away, standing up and facing him.

“I don’t know what to do anymore,” she told him, her eyes piercing his. “I want to be with you, Josh. But I want to be with the person I was with before Korea. Before this week.” He watched her quickly wipe away a few tears. “You said this morning it would change and you’d be back.”

“I told you I got in traffic-“

“No, Josh. You got in traffic because you left later than you said you would.”

Silence.

They looked at each other for what felt like hours to JC but it had only been mere seconds.

“I want to tell you that I’m sorry but I don’t know if you’d believe me,” he finally said.

“You’re right on that,” Annie sniffed and became irritated with herself for crying in front of him. She didn’t want him to know he made her that upset. She walked over to the kitchen sink to dump out the remainder of her tea, then went to the island to wipe off the counter space. The silence was deafening and JC didn’t like it. He walked over to her, pressing himself behind her and enveloping her waist in his arms. His forehead rested on her shoulder and he kissed her. She didn’t move and she didn’t stop him. He moved his kisses from her shoulder to her neck and turned her around to face him.

“Annie, I didn’t mean to snap at you on the phone,” he said softly, kissing her lips.

“Emma-Claire asked if we were fighting,” Annie responded, not returning the kiss.

“What did you tell her?” JC cupped Annie’s face in his hands.

“I told her not to worry about it,” Annie let him kiss her again, then felt his hands resting on her rear.

“Do you know how much you mean to me?” he asked her, pulling her as close to him as he could. “Annie, I’ve been in a lot of relationships but none like I have with you. I know I’m hard to deal with and I know this last week or so hasn’t been easy but I…” he stopped talking and sucked in a breath. Did he dare tell her what he’d wanted to tell her? They were both so tense with one another that he wondered if it would make a difference. She looked at him, waiting for him to continue. “Annie, I think I’m past the infatuation point. I love you.” There. Said. Done.

“Are you saying that just because of how you’ve been acting? Are you saying that because you think I’ll forgive you faster? Or do you mean it, Josh?” Annie’s hands found his waist and rested there.

“I’ve never been more serious,” JC could feel his heart beating faster. He was being sincere and she didn’t believe him. “I love you.”

Annie nodded and looked up at him, biting her lip.

“I mean it,” he continued and looked down at her, waiting for her to respond.

Annie knew she’d fallen in love with JC and wanted to answer him and give him the response he was waiting for but she held back for a second to take it all in. She was still hurt and she was still unsure of what all had just gone down the last two weeks but she didn’t want to give up on him completely. And he loved her. He loved her.

“Say something,” JC rested his hands on her shoulders. “Did I say it too fast? Would you have rather waited until we were, I mean, until this was, I mean us…” he was stumbling over his words and Annie finally relinquished and smiled at him.

“No,” she shook her head. “You didn’t say it too fast.” She moved her hands from his waist and slid them up the front of his body, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I love you, too.”