Numb. That was the best way to describe what JC felt the next morning. His alarm went off but he ignored it. He lay awake in bed, glancing over at the side where Annie would’ve slept. She couldn’t have meant it. He would talk her out of it. He had to. Not only for the sake of their relationship but also for Emma-Claire. His daughter had been through enough loss in her life to have to go through something else. And even though Annie hadn’t died, he knew it would feel like death if she left.

He wasn’t going to let that happen.

He finally rose out of bed and stumbled over to the bedroom door. It was still dark outside and he had to be careful walking down the dimly lit hallway to the guest room. He didn’t knock; he opened it and saw Annie asleep in the guest bed.

Walking around to the other side of the bed, he slid next to her beneath the covers and touched her arm. She jumped and woke up, immediately turning to face him.

“Josh-“

“No, Annie, please. Listen to me. Last night I know I was wrong and I know that I-“

“Josh, don’t do this. It’s over. It’s just not going to work. You have your stuff and right now it’s just not right.”

Annie sat up in bed and moved away from JC. She shook her head at him and sucked in a breath before she spoke again. “I don’t want to leave Emma. In fact, leaving her breaks my heart because I know all that she’s been through. But I also know that you’ve got a lot to work out and I guess I’m just too selfish to be put on the back burner in this relationship.”

“But what if we tried again. C’mon, Annie. You know we love each other and this is just something we have to work out!” He tried to pull her towards him but Annie swung her legs over the side of the bed and stood up.

“No.”

The tone of her voice surprised her. It was soft but firm. She meant every word.

She’d hardly slept the night before, only falling into a deep sleep shortly before JC had entered the guest room. Her thoughts were consumed with Emma-Claire and how she would have to tell her she was going to leave.

“Annie-“

“Josh, I think you should go now. Please. I need to get the rest of my stuff out of here. I’ll fix Emma breakfast but then I’m going.” Annie walked over to her suitcase that she’d propped up against the dresser. JC watched her set it down on the floor and dig through her clothes to pull out something to wear for that day.

“How are you going to tell Emma?” JC asked her the one question that she had no idea how to answer.

Annie shrugged and couldn’t look up at him. “I don’t know, honestly.” It would be the hardest thing she’d ever have to do. Leaving Josh was hard enough. Leaving Emma-Claire would be devastating. She would lose them both on the same day.

The sun had just begun to stream through the sliding glass doors in the kitchen when Annie made it downstairs. She looked outside to the pool house and a million thoughts entered her head. The time that Emma-Claire got sick and JC had rushed her over because he’d had no idea how to handle it. The few times she and Emma-Claire had played on the floor of the small living room during the day. The many times she and JC had made love in the bed in the loft. She shook her head. If she thought about it any longer, she might change her mind and she was not going to do that.

Taking out a pan for Emma-Claire’s eggs, Annie turned the stovetop on and began to root through the refrigerator for the orange juice. She heard tiny footsteps behind her and the familiar sigh that escaped Emma-Claire’s lips as she climbed into the breakfast nook.

“Hi, Annie.” The child’s voice was groggy and barely audible. It still melted Annie’s heart and she had to stop herself from crying before she turned around.

“Hey, Emma.” Annie flashed a tiny smile at her and went back to making the eggs.

“Where’s Daddy?” Emma-Claire splayed her hands on the table and began to softly drum her fingers.

“He’s upstairs.” Annie cracked an egg into the pan. “He’ll be down soon.”

As if on cue, Annie heard footsteps on the stairs and knew JC would walk into the kitchen any second.

“Hi, Daddy.” Emma-Claire yawned as she greeted her father. JC only nodded at her and looked over at Annie. His gut instinct was to go and kiss her like he’d done before when he saw her at the stove making breakfast. He knew that was out of the question.

Annie ignored him and poured a glass of orange juice for Emma-Claire. Her arm brushed against JC’s shoulder as she passed him and placed the glass on the table.

“Can I watch TV after breakfast?” Emma-Claire asked and Annie just smiled and nodded at her.

“I think Annie needs to talk to you before you watch television, Emma.” JC spoke before Annie had a chance to respond. “She has something important to tell you.”

Annie shot a glare at JC and bit her tongue. There were several things that crossed her mind that she desperately wanted to yell to him but she wouldn’t do it.

“What is it?” Emma-Claire ignored the orange juice in front of her and her eyes were glued on Annie.

“Eat your breakfast and then we’re going to go and sit in your play house for a little while.” It had come to Annie’s mind at the last minute that that was where she would tell Emma-Claire the news.

“Is Daddy coming, too?” Emma-Claire asked as she followed Annie out to the playhouse.

“No, Emma. It’s just you and me.” Annie had tried to force a smile but it didn’t come so easy. She opened the door to the playhouse and sat down in the middle of the floor. Emma-Claire turned on the twinkle lights, even though the sun was bright outside. She loved those lights no matter what time of day it was. She settled across from Annie, her legs crossed, elbows resting on her legs, her chin in her hands, and waited patiently for Annie to speak.

“Emma, I love you so much. You’re the closest thing I’ve ever had to a little girl of my own.” Annie heard the words she was speaking but still couldn’t believe what she was going to say. “But, Emma, it’s time for me to go. I have to go. Your Daddy and I are not going to be boyfriend and girlfriend any more and I can’t live with you.”

“But you can still come see me, right Annie?” Emma-Claire’s lower lip trembled and she began to cry. “Please, Annie? Why don’t you want to be my daddy’s girlfriend anymore?”

“Honey, it’s just that your daddy is really busy. He has his work and he has you and right now he and I can’t be together. I want him to have his time with you, Emma-Claire.” It was the best way Annie knew how to word it. She didn’t want to make JC out to be a bad person to his daughter. And she knew that this way it wouldn’t look like it was either of their faults.

“Do you love my daddy?” Emma-Claire had crawled into Annie’s lap and was sniffling against her.

Annie didn’t answer right away. She would love JC for a long time to come. He’d be difficult to get over and she knew it wouldn’t be an easy fix.

“I love him very much, Em. But I also love you and I want you both to have more time together.”

“I don’t want you to leave, Annie.” Emma-Claire was weeping into Annie’s shoulder. Annie let her cry because at that moment, it was all Annie could do not to let out a sob.

“I’ll come and visit, Emma. I promise.” Annie smoothed out the child’s brown locks and held Emma-Claire tightly against her. Her heart had never hurt like it was hurting right now. It felt as thought someone was ripping it out of her body and soon Annie gave into her tears and cried right along with Emma-Claire.

JC stood back and watched Annie and Emma-Claire walking back to the house. Their faces were both red from crying and he could see that Annie was still wiping away tears. Had it really been his fault? Was he to take all of the blame? It didn’t seem like it should be that way to him. He’d done the best he could. Yes, he’d exaggerated the night before at the restaurant and he knew there had been plenty of times that he’d neglected a promise to Annie or Emma-Claire. But JC didn’t understand why it couldn’t be worked out. They loved each other and they loved Emma-Claire and whatever hurdles that came or were to come they could learn to get over them. That’s what JC thought and desperately wanted Annie to think the same thing.

The twosome walked inside the house and bypassed JC in the kitchen before he saw Emma-Claire following Annie up the stairs. He sauntered behind and looked up as they disappeared into the guest room. He lingered at the bottom step, debating about whether or not he should follow them and try to talk to Annie. He already knew it would do no good.

Minutes later, Annie was at the top of the stairs with her two suitcases and Emma-Claire next to her. They walked down the stairs together and when she reached the bottom stair, Annie put her suitcases down and was eye to eye with JC.

“Megan’s about to pull into the driveway,” she said and watched his face to gauge his response. Immediately his blue eyes fixated on hers and she could almost sense his pain.

“Annie.” JC reached for her hand and she let him squeeze it. “Don’t do this.”

“I have to.” Annie let her hand linger in his for a few seconds before she pulled away.

He heard the sound of Megan’s car pulling into the driveway. Annie knelt down to Emma-Claire, who’d begun to cry again and clung to Annie.

“No, Annie. Don’t leave me!” Emma-Claire’s little arms nearly choked Annie around her neck but she didn’t stop her. “Please, Annie. Please don’t!”

“I’m sorry, Emma-Claire. I’m so sorry.” Annie pulled away but Emma-Claire’s grip was too tight. It was then that JC had to intervene and pull his daughter away from Annie. She watched as Emma-Claire kicked and screamed and reached for her all at once. Annie turned away and didn’t look back as she opened the door and walked out of JC’s house.

“Annie!” Emma-Claire wailed, fighting against her father’s grip around her waist. “I want Annie!”

“Shh, baby girl.” JC was trying to be calm for his daughter but couldn’t stop his own tears from starting to roll down his cheeks.

“You did what you had to do, Ann.” Megan was trying to be reassuring as she pulled onto the freeway. “You guys were falling apart. It was obvious last night. You never get mad enough to walk out and last night you couldn’t stand to even be in the same room with him.”

Annie heard what Megan was saying but she stared out of the passenger seat window and brushed away the tears that slid down her cheeks. She had loved Emma-Claire as though she were her own daughter. And JC had been so unexpected but she’d fallen in love and fallen hard.

JC had stayed downstairs most of the day while Emma-Claire holed herself up in her bedroom. He would occasionally hear her talking to herself while she played with her Barbie dolls or set up for a tea party. When he’d called her for lunch she came to the top of the stairs and stoically told him she wasn’t hungry.

“Want to go get tacos, honey?” JC stood in the doorway of Emma-Claire’s room and watched her stiffen when he spoke.

“No.” Emma-Claire responded in a soft voice and went back to playing. Her room was covered in toys, her bed still unmade, and she was still in her pajamas. It was nearing 6:30 that evening and JC had decided it had been long enough. They needed to get out of the house.

“Well, we’re going out to dinner. So let’s get you out of your pajamas and-“

“No!” Emma-Claire snapped at him and folded her arms across her chest. Her eyes glared at her father and dared him to step further into her room.

“Emma, stop being like that. You’ve been up here all day. We’re going to eat.” JC stepped into her bedroom and went to the closet where her clothes hung. He pulled out a yellow sundress and went to pick her up off the floor.

“No no no!” Emma-Claire’s voice hit a pitch that JC had never heard from her before.

“Emma-“

“You made Annie leave! You made her go away!” Emma-Claire backed away from her father and moved towards her bed. “I don’t like you right now, Daddy.”

“I didn’t make her go away, Emma. Come over here and put on this pretty dress so we can go to dinner.” JC sat on the other side of the bed and Emma-Claire defiantly shook her head.

“I don’t wanna!”

JC had never seen his daughter react like this before. Normally when she didn’t want to do things, she’d pout but she’d never once thrown a tantrum.

“Emma-Claire, stop acting like that! You better do what I tell you to do or I’ll give you a time out and you won’t play with your toys at all tomorrow!” JC didn’t notice that he was yelling at her. Emma-Claire didn’t budge. “Emma-Claire Chasez you better get your ass over here and do what I tell you to do!”

Emma-Claire let out a small gasp and looked wide-eyed at her father. In the process of yelling at her, he’d raised his hand as though he was about to slap her. Her sobs turned to sniffles and hiccups and suddenly she looked scared to death.

JC looked up at his raised hand and slowly brought it down to his side. He couldn’t believe what he was about to do. She was a four-year-old who’d just lost the third mother figure in her life in a matter of months. And he wasn’t helping by yelling at her. They were both upset and they were both hot headed.

Annie’s departure had caused more grief than he’d ever thought possible.

“Vodka and cranberry or Rum and coke?”

Megan was playing bartender later that evening at her apartment. Annie had spent most of the day crying on the couch and trying to figure out what the hell she was supposed to do next. Megan had given her space and in the meantime had gone to the grocery store to purchase alcohol and every flavor of Ben and Jerry’s that was in stock.

“Can I just drink straight rum?” Annie mumbled in response. She was curled on the couch with a box of tissues and hugging a pillow.

“Sure.” Megan took a glass out of the cabinet and filled it with Malibu. “But um, I’m gonna add just a little bit of Coke.”

“Fine. Whatever.”

Megan tipped off the top with Diet Coke and went over to Annie, placing it on the coffee table in front of her. She went back to the kitchen and pulled out the five containers of ice cream and got out two spoons from the cutlery drawer.

“Dig in,” Megan said as she sat down across from Annie after she’d displayed the ice cream in front of her.

An hour later both girls were drunk and had started getting giddy. They’d trash talked JC to no end and then started in on their other exes and then had started to just take digs at men in general.

Megan heard her phone ringing from the kitchen and stumbled as she stood from the couch, making Annie burst out laughing.

“It’s Derek!” Megan nearly yelled at Annie.

“Don’t answer it. He’s a man. All men are douche bags, remember?” Annie called back.

“Derek?” Megan slurred into the phone.

“Megan? Are you drunk?”

“No! I’m, I’m a little tipsy. But I’m not drunk.” Megan hiccupped and then giggled.

“You’re drunk. I was calling to see if you wanted to come over tonight.”

“I can’t. Annie and JC broke up and we’re drinking and eating ice cream.” Megan looked over at Annie who had started working on a pint of “Half-Baked.”

“And tell him all men are douche bags!” Annie yelled to her friend.

“Annie says all men are douche bags,” Megan said into the phone.

“That’s nice, Megan. Real nice.” Derek scoffed and Megan knew immediately she’d insulted him.

“Oh, but not you!” She tried to recover and keep a calm about herself that she hadn’t presented when she’d first answered the phone.

“Yeah, whatever. I’ll call you tomorrow. Go deal with your friend.”

Derek hung up and Megan groaned as she walked back to the couch. “He’s gonna be so pissed tomorrow. Oh well. I’ll just promise him lots of sexual favors.”

Annie dipped her spoon into the ice cream and scooped out a large helping. She examined it before slowly biting into it.

“Do you think he misses me?” Annie finally asked after the two friends had been silent for a few moments.

“Of course he does. He’s an idiot for being an ass to you!” Megan held up a glass filled with vodka and cranberry juice. “Here’s to you for being smart and getting the hell out of that!”

Annie could only half-heartedly hold up her own glass. She missed him and she missed Emma-Claire.

It was going to be a long week.