The next evening, Annie was all settled into the pool house, which was now her apartment. It was an open floor plan with a kitchen, a bathroom, a living area, and a lofted bedroom with a view of the pool and the back of JC’s house. The afternoon had been spent getting to know Emma-Claire and shopping for a car for her to use during the day. JC had told her she could also use it on the weekends or on her days off to meet up with friends. Her schedule would be quite full during the day as JC had to be at the studio early and had promised to be back right before Emma-Claire’s bedtime. He’d promised to call if it would be any later than that or if she needed to stay the night in the house with the girl. Karen had looked into preschools for Emma-Claire to start and had found a private one just a mile from the neighborhood where JC lived. Tomorrow, she and JC would go to check it out and hopefully get to enroll Emma-Claire to begin the next week. She would also be enrolled in a tap and ballet class at a dance school in the next town over and they’d all gone to look at that after lunch that afternoon. It had been quite a full day and Annie was never so glad to have some peace and quiet for herself.
She went to the refrigerator and pulled out items to make a small salad, then went to the pantry and took out the bottle of wine she’d purchased at the grocery store that evening before they’d all come back to JC’s house. She sat down on the couch with her dinner and turned on the 50- inch screen television that was mounted in front of her on the wall. A rerun of The Big Bang Theory was on and she laughed to herself as she began to eat. Laughter had been something that hadn’t happened much that day. She’d observed little Emma-Claire desperately trying to get her father to pay attention to her, but ultimately was unsuccessful. Instead, Karen had distracted her and even Annie a few times had told her a few jokes to make her laugh. It had worked, but Annie could tell that Emma-Claire wanted JC to laugh with her and he’d been too busy on his phone texting or talking to some guy named Jimmy on and off all day. It had annoyed Annie to no end. She knew plenty of parents who had nannies and were just like JC. She’d seen it first hand. But to now work for someone who did that, well, it made her thankful for the McGriffin’s and how much attention they had paid to their children.
Annie put the plate down on the coffee table and stood, walking over to the glass door that separated her kitchen from the pool. She could see into JC’s kitchen and watched Emma-Claire standing next to Karen who was finishing up cleaning after dinner. JC was nowhere to be seen. She observed Emma-Claire, tapping Karen’s arm, and asking her a question. Karen had looked sad as she replied to whatever the question had been and then Emma-Claire hung her head and walked out. Annie wondered if she’d asked if she could eat with her dad or if her dad could tuck her in that night. It seemed to Annie that Karen did most of the work that JC should have been doing and it made her even more disappointed. She turned away from the window and went back to the couch.
Karen watched her granddaughter sulking up the stairs and shook her head. Emma-Claire had just told her that she’d wanted her father to tuck her in but that JC was upstairs with his door locked. Karen had told Emma-Claire to go to her room and she’d be there in a minute to tuck her in. As she watched the little girl trudge up the stairs, Karen’s heart broke and she wondered if she’d ever really feel comfortable leaving her with JC. That afternoon had been great with Annie. Emma-Claire had taken to her right away and it had almost made Karen forget that JC was so distant towards her. He’d been fine with her at lunch because for the most part Emma-Claire hadn’t bothered him; that is, she’d mostly talked to Annie and Karen. Putting down her cup of tea, Karen stood from the bar in the kitchen and went upstairs. She went into Emma-Claire’s room where the child was sitting up in bed looking through a large picture book that she’d gotten the day before. She smiled at her grandmother, who sat down next to her on the bed.
“Now, what book shall we read tonight?” Karen asked her, as Emma-Claire went over to the bookshelf and picked up a book of fairytales.
“Can you read me Cinderella?” Emma-Claire settled next to Karen and opened the book. Karen found the story and began to read it to her aloud. Emma-Claire fell asleep against her shoulder before the story was done. Karen kissed her cheek, tucked her beneath the covers, and quietly tip toed out of the room and down the hall to where her son was hiding.
JC was lying on his bed not really paying attention to whatever it was that was on TV. He’d heard his door move and knew that Emma-Claire had been on the other side of it. Part of him wanted to answer it the other part – the part that had won – wanted to ignore it. For the next few years, he knew he wouldn’t get many chances to be alone like this. He’d tried to not feel such bitterness towards her but it was hard when he couldn’t take it out on anyone. Jimmy had joked earlier with him that if he’d practiced safe sex, none of this would’ve happened. JC hadn’t found it funny, especially because he had always been careful with every woman he’d slept with. Then again, he knew it might eventually catch up to him.
The knock at the door disturbed his thoughts and JC reluctantly called out, “Come in.”
His mother stood there, her arms folded across her chest, frowning at him like she’d done many times when he’d been little and forgotten to put away his toys or left his clothes on the floor of his bedroom. “Josh, stop acting like we all owe you a pity party!” Her voice was soft but harsh and JC hadn’t been talked to like that in a long time. “All she wanted was for you to tuck her in bed. You know, eventually, you’ve got to get over yourself and start being a father!”
“I just want peace and quiet,” he mumbled, looking away from her.
“She was already in bed. She wasn’t being fussy. What’s more peaceful than that?”
“I just wish she wasn’t here,” JC looked at his mother right in the eye. “I have no idea what the hell I’m doing, I feel like the world’s worst father, and every time I look at her I want to scream at Shayna for what she put me through!”
“The last time I checked, it takes two to do what you did, Joshua. It’s no more her fault than yours. Yes, she should’ve told you, we’ve been over that. But she didn’t and she’s gone now and you have a responsibility. You have a nanny and I’ll be here until Monday. I don’t know what else to do. You said yourself you didn’t want her in foster care!” Karen was leaning against the doorframe.
“I don’t want her in foster care,” JC rubbed his face and stood up. “But it’s taking me some time to figure out how I want to handle this. I look at her and I cringe, Mom. It isn’t like she brightens up my day right now.”
Karen shook her head for the umpteenth time. “Well, I certainly hope that before too long that little girl will be the reason you get up in the morning and the reason you come home,” With that, she left his room and firmly closed the door behind her.
JC threw a pillow over his face and groaned into it. He laid there for a few minutes and finally got up, quietly sauntering down the hallway to Emma-Claire’s room. He opened her door and saw her asleep in her bed. He walked over and knelt down next to her, daring himself to brush away a few strands of brown hair from her forehead. She was beautiful, he had to admit that. But the fact that she was his was still foreign to him and he wished it wasn’t so. He knew his mother – and probably Annie – thought he was a Class A jerk for the way he’d been acting ever since Emma-Claire had been dropped into his life. He didn’t want to be that way. He wanted to feel something other than annoyance every time he looked at her. He got up and went back to his room, wondering if anything would ever change or if this child would just be some stranger that lived with him forever.
“But I don’t want you to leave, Mimi!” Emma-Claire was sobbing into Karen’s shoulder the following Monday. It had been decided that since Annie was here, Karen’s job was essentially done and she needed to return to Orlando. It didn’t make saying goodbye to her only grandchild any easier.
“I know, my sweet girl,” Karen held her tightly and kissed her cheek, then the top of her head. “Remember, you’re going to come out to me soon.” She looked at JC. “Right, Joshua?”
JC nodded, painfully watching the scene in front of him. Emma-Claire had been crying most of the morning and it was uncomfortable to watch. She’d been with him only a week and this was the first time she’d shown so much emotion. He looked over at Annie, who was leaning against the island in the kitchen and sadly frowning at the sight. For most of the weekend, she’d only shadowed Karen and JC –mostly Karen- to see exactly how to take care of Emma-Claire. Emma-Claire had enjoyed her being around, but now that Karen was leaving, she hadn’t left her side in nearly 24 hours.
“We’d, um, we’d better get to the airport,” JC said softly, noting the time. This made Emma-Claire sob harder. He knew it was now the third person the girl had lost in a matter of a month. “Annie, do you mind…” he trailed off not knowing exactly how to say what he needed to without it sounding like, ‘Do you mind taking her away from her grandmother and making her cry even more?’
“Hey, Emma-Claire,” Annie spoke up and walked over to her. “Wanna go over to my house for a little bit? I’ve got some chocolate chip cookies I made this morning and we can watch a few movies together.”
“I want Mimi!” Emma-Claire wailed.
“I know, honey, I know,” Annie knelt down and Karen caught her eye. They both smiled pitifully at one another as Karen handed Emma-Claire over to Annie. The child relented and sobbed into Annie’s shoulder. JC awkwardly walked out of the kitchen and Karen waved one last goodbye before they left. Annie frowned at him when his back was turned to hers. Would it be that difficult for him to comfort his own daughter?
Annie held Emma-Claire until the sobbing ceased and then wiped her face off with a wet washcloth. “Okay, girl. How about some chocolate chip cookies?” Annie took Emma-Claire’s hand and the child nodded, giving her a tiny smile. “What movie should we watch? And do you want chocolate milk or hot chocolate with those cookies?”
“I’ll call when I land,” Karen told JC, as she hugged him goodbye at the security checkpoint. “Please, honey, please love on your little girl when you get home tonight.”
JC only nodded. He wouldn’t be home until well after Emma-Claire was asleep. He’d planned on going to the studio as soon as he was done at the airport and then staying for as long as he could to catch up on all that he’d missed from the week before. “I will, Mom,” he tried to assure her, but Karen saw right through it, though she didn’t say anything else. He’d already heard it from her enough and now, he’d have to figure it out on his own. He kissed her goodbye once more and then left to go find his car in the parking garage. He drove along the freeway feeling free for the first time in a week. He’d worry about everything later. Right now, he needed to get to the studio and get to work. That was his main priority and it wasn’t going to change any time soon.
Annie had finished folding all of the laundry in the three baskets of clothes JC had left for her that evening. She’d fed Emma-Claire a healthy dinner of grilled chicken strips, green peas, and wild rice that she’d doctored up with a few herbs and spices she’d found in JC’s pantry. For dessert, they’d finished off the batch of cookies from earlier in the day and Emma-Claire was promptly bathed and put to bed soon after dinner. Annie was exhausted. It had been a long day of getting acquainted with things around JC’s house as well as comforting Emma-Claire, who’d cried most of the morning until after lunch. But soon Annie had her in giggles telling her silly stories and knock-knock jokes and by the time dinner had rolled around, Emma-Claire was content and happy.
“Where is my daddy?” Emma-Claire asked Annie, as she pulled the covers over Emma-Claire that night.
“I guess he’s still working,” Annie replied, trying not to show how irritated she was that JC hadn’t even called them to let them know he’d be later than 8:30. Karen had phoned around 6:00 to let them know she’d landed and Emma-Claire had been ecstatic to talk to her. She was going to try JC next but Annie hadn’t known if she had gotten a hold of him or not. “You’ll see him tomorrow morning,” she tried to encourage the child. “Maybe he’ll eat breakfast with us.”
“Maybe,” Emma-Claire yawned. “Goodnight, Annie.”
“Goodnight, sweetie,” Annie stood from the bed and walked over to the door, shutting off the light as she left. As she sat downstairs and looked at the piles of folded laundry next to her, her blood began to boil. It was almost 10:00 and JC had told her he would do his best to be back by 8:30 to tuck in Emma-Claire, especially the first few nights without Karen around. She turned on the television and aimlessly flipped through channel after channel trying to find something to keep her mind occupied. She would have to be up early tomorrow morning, as Emma-Claire would begin her first day of preschool and all she wanted was to be back in her new apartment asleep in her bed.
Annie jolted herself awake when she heard the front door open. Jimmy Fallon was just going off the air and she grabbed her phone to see that it was now past one in the morning. JC stumbled into the living room, rubbing his eyes, then jumping in surprise to see Annie sitting up on his couch.
“Oh, shit, Annie. I’m so sorry,” he shook his head. “I lost track of time. We got working on another song and then went out for a few drinks.”
Annie had no idea what to say to that. She wasn’t his mother. She wasn’t even a friend. She was his daughter’s nanny. “No, it’s fine. I just didn’t want to leave the house incase Emma-Claire woke up,” it was the most civil thing she could say to him.
“Yeah, no, that’s great,” JC replied, and put his bag down on the floor by the couch. “Um, so tomorrow what time did we say?”
“I’ll be in the house at 7:30 to get her up for preschool,” Annie told him. She stood to her feet. “I didn’t know where to put all of the clothes. Just let me know and I can put them up tomorrow.”
“Sure, no problem,” JC rubbed his face in his hands and yawned. “Have a good night.”
Annie forced a smile and left through the sliding glass door of the kitchen. As she made her way towards the pool house, she could feel herself about to explode from anger. She knew better than to ever compare this job to the McGriffin’s, but they had never, ever come home that late before and if they had, they would’ve at least called. She hadn’t heard from him at all that day. To make matters worse, she’d have to be up in six hours. She could at least be grateful that after she dropped off Emma-Claire at preschool, she would have some time to nap or just peacefully sit in her apartment until it was time to collect her. She was hoping that would make her feel better but it didn’t. Instead, it just made her even more upset with JC. He hadn’t asked anything about how Emma-Claire had been after Karen had left, much less how she’d been in general on her first day with a nanny. Expectation. She knew it all lied in the fact that she placed too much of that on JC and it was apparent that he had no idea what to do or how to act.
“One day at a time,” she breathed, as though it were a mantra. “He’ll come around. He has to come around.” Annie quickly changed, brushed her teeth, and fell into bed, hoping that tomorrow would bring something new along with it.
