~~~~~*~~~~~

"I'm going to be like the walking dead today!" Clare said as the group made their way back into the apartment at first light. They'd played out on the beach all night and had only thought to head back to the apartment after the sunrise had reminded them of the time.

"I've gotta collect my semester results at eleven," Libby said through a yawn as Clare headed past her up the hall towards her bedroom. She needed to get a change of clothes and have a quick shower before heading out to work.

"Can me and Cyndi get a ride in with you?" Jenny asked Libby as Clare disappeared into the main bathroom.

"Of course," Libby replied sleepily as she passed them in the hall as she headed towards her bedroom. "I'm gonna get a few hours’ sleep first, though."

"Sure, Lib," Jenny replied as she made her way into the living room to watch TV until they had to leave. She didn't mind hanging out at the apartment.

As Libby turned to head into her room she noticed Justin slipping past her and rushing towards her un–made bed. Her eyebrows shot up in alarm as she realised what he was planning. "Stop!" She challenged him as she noticed the saltwater still dripping from his wet clothes and hair. "You're still wet...! Don't you dare..."

"Whoops!" Justin chuckled as he launched himself backwards onto her bed with his arms outstretched so that he covered as much of the space with his body as possible.

Libby glowered at him as he shot her a winning grin. "That's it!" She shouted as she lunged at him and pinned him down onto the bed with the weight of her body. She grabbed for his hands and made handcuffs around his wrists with her fingers. "Now you die!"

And with that they began a play fight.

~~~~~*~~~~~

"Please close the door if you're gonna do that kind of thing!" Clare said as she walked past Libby's bedroom door causing the pair to burst out laughing. She'd had a quick shower and now only needed to grab her purse and car keys before heading out to work. Although she didn't technically need to be there for another forty minutes, at least, she didn't mind heading in early today. She always had an overload of work to catch up on.

As Clare headed into her bedroom, she closed the door and turned to find JC lying spread–eagled across her bed with his eyes closed. He'd clearly been so shattered that he'd forgone her invitation to have something to eat and had decided to find the nearest bed to pass out on. Luckily for her, he'd chosen her room.

"Oh, poor baby," Clare chuckled as she sat on the edge of the bed beside him and peered at his face. "You've missed out on a whole night's sleep!"

There was no response. He was fast asleep.

Clare smiled down at him for a moment and fought the urge to reach out and touch his face. Forcing herself to gain some control, she reached out for her purse, which she had left on her bedside table, and quietly left the room on her tiptoes so as not to disturb him. She pulled the door closed quietly behind her.

"Okay guys, I'm off to work," Clare said as she made her way into the kitchen where the rest of her friends were gathered. They all looked over at her upon her arrival. "Does anyone need a lift anywhere?"

"Yes, please," Sara said as she pointed to herself, Jamie and Kelly.

"Sure, no problems," Clare replied as she slipped on her jacket and turned to the youngest girl, Kelly. "You coming with Jamie?" She asked with a friendly smile. Jamie had warned Clare—unnecessarily, Clare had thought—that Kelly would be accompanying her to work during her vacation as so she'd fully expected to see her at the Compound that day. Fortunately, as there was so much to do there other than working, it hadn't been a chore for Kelly to spend time at her cousin's workplace. In fact, she'd come to look forward to it. Especially as it meant that she got to spend more time around *NSYNC. It was something that she was definitely going to rub in her friend's faces when she went back home.

"Yeah, I am," Kelly replied as she glanced sideways at Jamie, who smirked back. Jamie was under no illusion as to who her cousin had really come to visit during her trip.

"Come on then, let's go," Clare told them as they all began to gather their things and make their way to the front door.

Just as they were heading out the door, Clare and Jamie both pulled back and let the other women go first. Remembering her friend's earlier words, Clare called out for Libby. "Libs! Call me when you get your results!" She shouted, as Jamie jogged back into the kitchen to kiss Chris goodbye.

Libby's muffled voice could be heard coming from her bedroom a minute later. "Okay, I'll be in after I've picked them up. See you later!"

"Okay, bye!"

~~~~~*~~~~~

JC woke up two hours later feeling very groggy and disoriented. He realised straight away that he wasn't in his own room, but it took him several minutes to locate where he was. Falling asleep after getting in from the beach had been a bad idea. His clothes were damp, and he'd fallen asleep so deeply and for such a short period that he woke feeling worse than he had before.

Sitting upright, he rubbed his aching eyes with his hands and glanced around the room as he began to come to. The first thing his eyes focused on was a framed photograph of himself, Clare and the other members of *NSYNC. The photo had been taken eighteen months previously over the Christmas break. Only Libby had been absent as she'd flown home to celebrate Christmas with her family that year.

+ + +

"Okay everyone, squeeze in!" Lynn Harless said as she gestured with her hand for the group to shuffle closer so they all could fit into the frame. As part of the group's Christmas tradition, everyone in the photo had been forced to wear a silly Christmas hat and pull a funny face to the camera.

It had been a random night between Christmas and New Year, and the group had decided to head off to a club in Orlando to celebrate together, after having just returned from spending the holiday with their families. As at that time *NSYNC were still relatively new as a group and no one had known if this would be their last Christmas all together, Justin's mom had wanted a photograph of them to preserve the moment for posterity.

Clare had been eager to ask Lynn for a copy of the photo for herself.

Earlier, when they'd walked into the club, Chris had stopped Clare right in the doorway where he'd noticed a sprig of mistletoe had been hung. He'd grinned at her and before she'd known what was happening he had planted a noisy kiss on her lips.

Straight away all the other members of the group had lined up to follow suit. First Justin, then Joey, then Lance and finally JC. "Merry Christmas, Clare," he'd said as he'd bowed down and placed a soft kiss against her cheek.

+ + +

JC smiled to himself at the memory. If only he'd known then that that moment would be one of only thousands of good times that the group would share, he would have spent a lot less time worrying about the success of the band; and whether he was wasting his life on something that couldn't—or wouldn't—last.

As he headed over to Clare's dresser to check his hair in the mirror, JC noticed an old Valentine’s Day card that she had obviously decided to keep. He smiled to himself as he picked it up and read the inscription.

'Roses are red, the sky is blue...'

JC was a slacker when it came to Valentine’s Day. Year after year he sent each of the girls the same card with their own handwritten poem inside. Generic and simple, it usually brought a smile to their faces without making any of them feel left out or uncomfortable. Only Lisa—who'd been around the group the longest and therefore received the most cards—was aware of his laziness.

+ + +

"Every year I get the same poem!" Lisa exclaimed as she opened the first of her Valentine’s Day cards and read the contents.

"Really?" Libby asked as she opened her own card and compared it to Lisa's. The handwriting matched, but her poem was different. "'Roses are red, violets are blue; you'll remember me and I'll remember you.' Hmm... Catchy," she remarked sarcastically.

"I get 'Roses are red, the grass is green; you're the nicest girl that I've ever seen!'" Lisa read and glanced up to shoot an accusing look at Joey.

"Hey! Don't look at me!" Joey defended himself with a laugh. "Even I'm not that corny."

+ + +

JC made his way from Clare's bedroom into the living room to find it occupied with Justin and Chris, who were watching re–runs of the Mickey Mouse Club on the TV and killing themselves laughing as younger versions of Justin and JC appeared on the screen.

JC headed into the kitchen and made a beeline for the fridge to prepare himself a drink of orange juice. He hoped it might stave off his headache and help settle his stomach.

"Jeez, you'd think this was our apartment," he muttered as he came back into the living room and watched them from over the rim of his glass as he drank. He hated watching the Mickey Mouse Club re–runs and was surprised that Justin could stomach it.

"Why are you watching that?" He asked grumpily as he narrowed his eyes at the screen.

Chris shrugged and glanced over the back of the sofa at him. "Nothing else to do."

"You're wrong," JC replied as he picked up the TV remote from the coffee table and flicked the off button, killing the TV's power. "We have a tour to prepare for. Come on, let's go."

~~~~~*~~~~~

As the guys of *NSYNC relaxed in and around the pool area at the Compound during their lunch break, they all heard the sharp sound of tyres screeching to a halt in the car lot outside. Justin swam to the side of the pool and pulled his upper body out of the water before exchanging glances with Chris, who was sat on the poolside with his feet dangling in the water.

"Who's that?" Lance asked as he too swam over to where Chris was sitting.

"Dunno," Chris answered him as he shaded his eyes with his hand so that he could see without the sun's glare distorting his vision. Although the car lot was partially blocked from view by the side of the building and the careful positioning of several tall bushes, the odd glimpses could be seen of visitors as they made their way from the car lot to the main building.

"It's Libby," Chris said after a moment as he recognised her briefly before she disappeared from view again. Although she might have heard them, she hadn't even glanced in their direction.

Just as Justin was considering getting out of the pool to go and see her, JC swam up behind him and pressed his weight down onto the youngster's shoulders. Justin was immediately plunged straight back under the water. As he came up for air and wiped the water out of his eyes with his hands, he looked around for JC to continue the fight that his band mate had started. I'll go see her later, he thought as he playfully swung for JC.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Libby collapsed into her desk chair and released the sobs that had been threatening to burst out of her since she'd left the college campus. Now that she was alone in her office, the hot tears that she'd been holding back began to flow down her pale cheeks. She let her head flop forward into her hands and let out a howl of distress.

Everything's ruined... a whole year of my life wasted... and for what?

She'd had some terrible news during her semester appraisal. Possibly the worst news ever and it had taken her completely by surprise. It's not that she'd been expecting to get full marks—she wasn't naive—but she'd never, would never...

How could I have done so badly? How can it be possible that I'm... failing?

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare walked into Libby's office a few minutes later having seen—heard—her friend's car pull into the car lot. After not hearing from Libby as she'd expected, Clare had decided to head around to her friend's office to check that she was okay just in case she'd received some bad news. The moment that she saw Libby sobbing over her desk, Clare realised that she'd been right on the money once again.

"Lib!" Clare exclaimed in concern as she rushed to her side, "what's happened?"

After several incomprehensible attempts to tell Clare what was wrong through her tears and sobs, Libby finally calmed down enough to be able to explain. "They said that unless I improve my grades from today then I'm out!" She spluttered as she rubbed her hands roughly across her eyes. Her tears continued to fall. "I've got to re–sit all of my exams in the coming week. All of them! And if I fail any then they'll kick me off my course."

Clare sat there completely flabbergasted by Libby's news. She reached out and placed an arm around her friend's shoulder in an effort to comfort her.

"I've completely bombed out!" Libby continued in between sobs. "I had to practically beg them not to throw me out today. If I hadn't asked for a chance to re–sit then I think they might've."

Libby turned her head and looked at Clare with her puffy, red eyes. "What am I gonna do, Clare? I've worked my butt off studying for this course and it's made no difference! My brain will literally explode if I try to cram any more information inside. I'm already suffering from information overload as it is!"

Clare looked into her friend's eyes and remembered back to all the nights that she'd heard her friend up studying until the early hours of the morning. There'd even been occasions when she'd woken up early to find Libby's bedroom light still showing through the crack at the bottom of her door. Clare couldn't deny that Libby had committed one–hundred percent to her course, and she was shocked to find that her friend's hard work hadn't paid off. Libby hadn't given her any indication that she was struggling with the work load, and she'd seemed enthused and excited about her course only days before.

"I think that maybe you should take some time off from studying, Lib," Clare suggested in a tentative voice. "All of this extra pressure that you've been putting on yourself can't be good for you. Perhaps that's why you haven't gotten the results you wanted. Maybe you're just pushing yourself too hard?"

"I can't take time off!" Libby replied slightly hysterically as her eyes widened in alarm. "Didn't you hear what I said? They'll kick me off the course if I don't do better! If I'm failing already what good will taking time off do? I genuinely don't understand it, Clare. I've never worked so hard at something in my entire life and yet it hasn't made a bit of difference."

Clare noted the hysteria in her friend's voice and realised that she needed to somehow get through to Libby before her guilt and shame spiralled out of control. Yes, her exams were important, but they weren't a matter of life and death. Somehow, Libby had become so swallowed up by her studies that she'd lost all perspective.

"Libs, you've had a temporary blip, that's all. You'll get past this and one day you'll be able to look back and realise the lessons you've learnt from this experience. I know it looks bad now, but you can only work your way up from here," she assured her. Libby stared at her with worried eyes but Clare could tell that she was at least considering her words. Or at least it appeared that she was.

"Just take the rest of the day off to clear your head. No studying, no working. Just take a step back from it all and then you'll be able to look at everything again with a new perspective."

For a moment, Clare thought that Libby was going to challenge her, but instead the younger woman let out a deep, shaky sigh and nodded sadly as her shoulders sagged in defeat. "You're right, I guess. One day off probably won't make much difference at this point."

Clare smiled encouragingly and reached out to wrap her up in a tight hug. "It's gonna be okay, Lib, I promise," she said confidently as she placed a light kiss on Libby's forehead. "Trust me—it'll all work out for the best."

~~~~~*~~~~~

As Clare searched the floor under her desk for the file that she'd misplaced, she heard her office door open unexpectedly and she sat upright—with her face slightly flushed—to meet Justin's eyes. His hair was still wet from the shower he'd just taken after afternoon rehearsals.

"Where is she?" He asked Clare, glancing around the room for some sign of Libby. He'd already looked for her in her own office but when he'd found it empty he'd assumed that she might be with Clare. "I saw her car pull up but can't find her anywhere."

"She's not here," Clare explained with a sad smile. "She's gone home."

"Oh," Justin replied in surprise. He'd been expecting Libby to be bouncing around boasting about her exam results. In fact, he'd even gone to the trouble of buying her a mini bottle of champagne in advance, which he'd sneakily hidden in the mini–fridge in the games room downstairs. "I wanted to ask her about her results..."

"Yeah..." Clare muttered as she pulled a face. She hoped that Libby wouldn't mind her telling Justin about her bad news. She figured that sooner or later he'd find out anyway. Especially as the pair had become so close in recent weeks. Clare assumed that Libby would want Justin to know. "They weren't good, J. She's really upset."

Justin's face fell, and he regarded her carefully. "Really?"

Clare nodded glumly. "Apparently she's got to re–sit her exams next week or face being kicked out."

"Kicked out? How can that be? She's been studying her butt off for weeks!"

"I know. Naturally it's been quite a shock for her so I suggested that she take some time out."

"Yeah, sure." Justin replied, empathising with Libby. He knew how much work she'd put into preparing for her exams, and he wasn't surprised at all to hear that she was very upset. "Should I call her, do you think?"

Clare hesitated for a moment. "I'd leave it a while," she said eventually. "She might need some time to clear her head."

"Yeah, okay. Well, maybe I'll call her tonight to see if she's okay. I just don't want her thinking that no one cares, you know."

Clare gave Justin a fond smile and tried not to chuckle. There was no way that Libby, or anyone, could accuse him of not caring for her. "Don't worry. She knows we all care about her."

Justin met Clare's eyes and held eye contact with her for a few minutes before he broke away and began to nod. He knew for certain that Libby didn't know exactly how much he cared for her.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Libby pulled up into her car parking space outside the apartment and left the engine running. She sat back in the driver’s seat and let her head settle back against the head rest all the while keeping her hands tightly gripped onto the steering wheel.

I don't want to go inside. I don't want to be here. I want to go somewhere, and do something that doesn't require thinking... I can't handle any more time stuck in my own head.

As she stared out of the windscreen at the entrance to the apartment block, Libby thought back to earlier that morning and the chaos of books and notes that she'd left on her bed and scattered across her bedroom floor. It made her feel ill inside. She needed to be somewhere that didn't have memories of the hours she'd wasted pouring over boring old textbooks. The thought of spending the rest of the day alone in the apartment made her feel like tearing at her hair.

She couldn't fight the voice in her head that was repeatedly reminding her that she was a giant failure.

It was true, after all, and now her college professors and fellow students knew it too. Soon, all of her friends would know and she'd have to face them all with the knowledge that they were all reaching and achieving their goals whilst she was stuck in nowheresville.

She let out a bitter laugh and bit down hard on her bottom lip to try to draw her internal pain into something external. She was flooded with feelings of self–loathing and it as only when she felt the taste of blood in her mouth that she felt somewhat satisfied and stopped hurting herself.

Why had she thought that she could pass all of those exams? Did she really think that she could have everything that she wanted just because she dared to try? She was bound to fail at something, sooner or later. After all, it was the first thing that she'd tried to do all by herself without someone helping her out in some way.

At home, her parents had helped her out with everything and in Florida, Clare had been the one to organise somewhere for them to stay. She'd even recommended her for the job at the record label. Without Clare's help, she would still be at home in England where she belonged.

Fighting back the tears once again, Libby put the car in reverse and hastily pulled back out of the bay. Clare was right; she needed to clear her head before all of her negative thoughts consumed her. She should be out in the fresh air, where the sunshine and sea breezes would wash away her dark thoughts and give her some perspective. All at once, she knew exactly where to go.

~~~~~*~~~~~