~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare heard her flight number being called over the airport terminal's intercom as she stood in the centre of her huddle of friends. Out of everyone, only two people were missing and although she tried to be strong, Clare couldn't deny that their absence caused tears to prick at her eyes.

"That's us," Sara said excitedly as she turned her head and flashed Clare a smile. Although she very much wanted to return it, Clare found that she couldn't. Even though she'd gone through the whole process of preparing for her vacation, it was only now that she was standing moments from boarding the plane that the full reality of what she was doing hit her.

Seeming to sense her hesitation, Justin suddenly broke away from the group and took Clare by the hand, leading her aside so that he could talk to her privately. His blue eyes bore into her brown ones as he regarded her carefully.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked hesitantly. "You don't have to do this, Gid'."

Clare gave him a wry smile and shook her head gently. "I do. I have to get away. I know you probably won't understand–"

"I do. I do understand. But it doesn't have to be like this. It doesn't have to be so rushed..."

"Come on, J. We both know that if Sara wasn't going I wouldn't be either, but this is too good an opportunity to miss. I have to sort my head out."

"But what about Libby? What if she wakes up?"

Clare dropped her gaze to the floor. He'd completely hit the nail on the head of all of her doubts and hesitations. What if Libby did wake up? Would she forever blame herself for not being there? Clare swallowed and glanced back up at his wide, worried eyes and attempted a brave smile. She could tell by the tightness around Justin's eyes that he didn't quite buy it.

"Don't worry, squirt. I have a sixth sense when it comes to Libby. I'll be home before that happens."

Justin tensed and Clare realised that her words had done more than just try to reassure him. Once again she'd put her foot in her mouth. Realising her mistake, Clare opened her mouth to apologise, but Justin waved a dismissive hand at her.

"'S'ok. I know what you meant. I just never stop hopin', you know? Every day I wake up thinkin' that today might be the day."

Clare smiled up at him and this time it was genuine. She rocked forward onto the balls of her feet and stretched up so that she could place a kiss on his cheek. Justin reached forward a hand to steady her after noticing that she was wobbling slightly.

"I'm so glad she has you, Justin. I know she couldn't be in better hands while I'm away. Take care of our girl, okay?"

"Always," he answered and gave her a fond smile. "You know, I'm almost gonna miss you shouting at me for a week," he chuckled.

"Then I'll try to remember to call and yell at you down the phone, okay?"

"Promise?" He asked as he reached out to pull her into a hug. Clare chuckled against his shoulder and squeezed him back.

"Promise."

As she went around the rest of the group giving and receiving hugs and kisses, Clare felt the familiar pang she always felt when she was leaving home. As she reached Chris and Jamie, who were standing side by side, holding hands she met Chris' eyes and smiled fondly.

True to his word, Chris had seemed to have contained himself and not called JC about her early departure. Not that she'd expected him to have been there anyway, she was still grateful and relieved. The last face she wanted to see before leaving for a week was JC's.

"You'll keep everyone in line whilst I'm gone, right Jam?" Clare said in a mock–bossy voice as she pulled her friend into a hug. Jamie returned her smile but looked momentarily taken–a–back.

"I don't think I'll be as good at that as you..." she muttered anxiously, causing Clare to laugh.

"You'll be just fine," Clare assured her as she reached out her arms to Chris. "Keep in touch, 'K?"

"That's just what I was about to say to you," Chris chuckled as he lifted her lightly off the floor causing her to let out a little shriek. "Enjoy the break," he told her as he placed her back on her feet. "Take care of yourself."

When Clare met his eyes again, Chris noticed that they were shiny with tears and he gave her an affectionate wink. "Get outta here, you!"

"I'm goin'!" Clare laughed as she lifted her rucksack onto her shoulder and searched for Sara and Jason in the group. Meeting Sara's eyes Clare gave the rest of her friends a wave and the three slowly made their way towards the departure gate.

"Take care!" Jamie called after them and she leaned forward onto her tiptoes to wave at them over the crowd of people bustling around the gate. Chris smiled down at his girlfriend and reached out once again to take her hand in his.

"Have a safe flight. See you in a week!" Jamie called.

"Bye, I have my cell with me. I'll be in touch!"

~~~~~*~~~~~

JC exited the bathroom on the first floor of Alyson's house and headed straight for the stairs. Up till now, both he and Alyson had been enjoying a relaxed, long lunch together and although he knew that there was no reason for him to be feeling this way, JC couldn't deny the niggling feeling that something was off.

Everything was too perfect. Too arranged. It seemed unkind of him to think so he thought, especially when he could see the effort that his fiancée was putting into everything, but that was exactly it. She was putting too much effort into it. He'd never had to work so little in a relationship before. And from what he could remember from his previous relationship with Alyson, he'd been the one doing all the running. He felt more like the woman in the relationship—just sitting back and allowing his partner to take the lead. It was a little off–putting.

JC knew that things wouldn't be easy. Alyson was no fool, and of course she'd known that he hadn't exactly been thrilled to hear about the baby. But he'd put all that behind him now. He was standing by her, wasn't he? The rest would come in time...

"You could totally do a lot worse!" He heard a female voice say as he reached the bottom of the stairs. His head snapped to attention at the sound of the unfamiliar voice. It definitely wasn't Alyson.

"But it's not like that!" He heard Alyson reply and at once he put two and two together. She was on the phone. It must have rung whilst he was in the bathroom, and for some reason Alyson had left it on speaker–phone. For a moment JC prepared to continue making his way into the living room—where he and Alyson had retired to after lunch—but then his curiosity got the better of him and he held back. Now that he was aware that he could hear the conversation, it might be interesting to hear what she was saying to her friend, he thought. Perhaps she'd mention him and he'd get a small insight into how she was feeling about everything? In his shock and confusion over the baby, neither he nor Alyson had gotten around to really discussing the logistics of planning their future together. It was something he regretted. He wished that it was as easy to talk to Alyson as it was to... but that wasn't the point.

"Come on!" The unfamiliar female voice continued, and he detected laughter. "You've hit the jackpot. Who cares what people think?"

JC frowned and felt his stomach constrict with tension. Were they talking about him? Naturally, his suspicions rose at the phrase 'jackpot'. It wouldn't have been the first time that he'd have been associated with the word and the thought made his jaw clench. There were a lot of greedy people in the world, and he realised that to the outside world that it could be deemed that Alyson had done very well for herself by becoming engaged to him. But he knew that Aly wouldn't feel that way. She actually cared for him. Loved him, even. Well... maybe. But still, there was no way that she would think of him as just a pay check, even if her sleazy friends did.

"I really don't know why you're freaking out about this. I certainly wouldn't. You're going to have JC Chasez as your baby daddy! What are you complaining about?"

JC felt momentarily winded. She'd told her friends about the baby? Even after he'd specifically asked her not to, and to wait until after they'd had the first scan? He'd explained that he preferred to keep his private life as that—private, and he'd thought that she'd understood. Agreed even.

He'd explained to her how important it was to protect the reputation of the group, and how no matter how difficult it might seem, he needed to be respectful of the other members of *NSYNC when dealing with private matters. Not that he was ashamed of his actions, but he knew that it would be a difficult thing for his legions of fans to swallow that he was engaged and now expecting a baby. Especially after the whole 'one night stand' incident. It was a PR nightmare that he—and the group—could do without. It needed to be handled delicately and with tact. And definitely without the risk of some 'friend' leaking out the details.

Making his way around to the doorway, JC began to prepare in his mind what it was he wanted to say. He had to tread carefully. Like he'd expected, Alyson had been especially emotional and unpredictable lately and he'd been treading on eggshells around her. He knew it was pregnancy related, but it hadn't helped that it had reminded him of exactly why he and Alyson hadn't worked out the first time.

She was a drama queen and although he, too, had a dramatic flair, Alyson's was especially trying and grating at times. Already he'd resumed his age old trick of counting to ten before he spoke; something he'd only just remembered he used to do the last time they'd been together. The memory hadn't helped to settle his anxieties at all. Could he really handle a lifetime of biting his tongue and counting to ten?

"But I feel so bad! I panicked, okay? I never planned for all this to happen—"

JC froze, his hand on the doorknob. Panicked? What was she talking about?

"—He was here, and things were going so well. What was I supposed to do?"

"You did what every normal person would have done; you upgraded! So stop beating yourself up about it. He doesn't know, does he?"

"No."

"Then no harm done."

JC felt his mouth go dry. This was not good. He heard Alyson take a deep breath, and when she spoke he could hear the emotion in her voice. It was clear that she was fighting back tears.

"But what if it's obvious?" She said in a wobbly voice. "What if when the baby's here it's obvious that it's not his?"

Surprising himself, JC laughed. It’s not mine. The fuckin' kid isn't even mine. He leaned forward and rested a hand against the doorframe, letting his mind absorb the life–changing news. I'm free. Still he continued to feel the laughter bubbling up inside of him, and even he felt concerned by the fact that he was finding this information so amusing. Perhaps it was because deep down he'd been hoping that there was a way out of the situation for him, only he'd been too afraid to say it aloud and deal with the implications of that.

"Who cares? You'll be Mrs. Chasez by then. What's he gonna do? Go through the embarrassment of a divorce? Like you said, he's so excited to become a father..."

JC had heard enough, and as the humour died away to reveal something darker, he angrily shoved his fist against the door letting it swing back and bang angrily against the adjacent wall.

Alyson turned and stared at him in horror, her watery eyes wide and fearful. JC crossed the room in a few short strides, calmly removed the telephone receiver out of her hand and slammed it forcefully back onto the cradle, causing the wooden vanity stand below to tremble under his anger. As he looked back up to meet her eyes, Alyson's face crumpled and tears began to stream down her cheeks.

"It’s not mine."

"Josh, please—"

"You made me believe that you were pregnant so that I'd marry you, and it wasn't even my child!"

"—it wasn't like that. It wasn't supposed to happen like that!"

"Oh? And how was it supposed to happen?"

"I... I..."

"What? Has this been a set up the whole time? Were you trying to get pregnant so that I'd marry you?"

"I never meant to get pregnant! It was an accident! By the time I found out..."

"What?"

"He'd gone..."

JC stared at her coldly. Great. She wasn't even going to keep up the pretence that he'd been important. It wasn't even about him. He was just the guy who'd been in the wrong place at the wrong time. The guy who was there to pick up the pieces. The dad substitute. How wonderful to discover that he'd given up everything, and it was literally for nothing.

"Give me back the ring," he said coldly, no longer wanting to hang about. It was done. He wanted his ring back and then he'd leave. For good.

"Josh, please..."

"Please what?"

"Don't do this. Please don't let us break up over this."

Again JC let out a bitter laugh and held out his open palm to her. He shook it impatiently and raised an eyebrow. "Really? You think we can work through this?"

"Yes! Can't we at least try?"

"Er... that's definitely a big fat no. Now, ring, please."

"Why?" Alyson cried, her eyes narrowing angrily. "You gave it to me, remember?"

"And now I want it back."

"Why? So you can give it to someone else?"

Immediately Clare's face filled JC's mind, and he felt an overwhelming ache of regret settle in his gut. He'd made a huge mistake. There was no denying that. Who was this woman standing in front of him? Why had he been so blind to who she really was? Why had he chosen her over Clare? What the hell was wrong with him?

JC swallowed hard and shook his hand once again as his anger once again got the better of him. "Ring, now!"

"She'll never love you like I love you, Josh!"

"I fuckin' hope not," JC retaliated with a bitter laugh. "You trapped me into believing that you were having my child. Stood by and watched as I broke the heart of one of my closest friends, and were even going to carry on pretending the baby was mine until I married you. She would never have done that. Unlike you, she actually has a heart."

"She won't want you after this. She'll hate you."

"That's fine. I'd rather spend the rest of my life trying to get her to love me again than spend it with you."

Alyson flinched and her mouth gaped open in shock at his harsh words but JC was beyond caring. Realising that she had no intention of getting his ring back, he turned on his heels and prepared to leave. Sure it was expensive, and he hated the thought of leaving even a little of himself behind in Alyson's house, but he couldn't look at her face a moment longer. Who knew what other kind of tricks she'd pull on him if he stayed for even another minute.

"Josh..." she whimpered as he turned his back on her but the sound made no impression on him. She should've known that this day would come sooner or later, and thank goodness it had been sooner. It would have been a lot harder for him to walk away if there had been a child around. Even if it wasn't biologically his.

JC made his way out of the front door and straight over to his jeep without turning around to see whether Alyson was following or not. To be honest, he didn't even care.

He climbed inside and started the engine, the adrenaline of his showdown with his now ex–fiancée still flooding through his veins causing him to accidently press down too firmly on the gas pedal making the car to roar to life. The sound seemed to clear his head for a moment and he removed his foot and took a deep breath.

This was it. This was the moment. He had to find Clare. He had to tell her what an idiot he'd been. Beg her forgiveness. Do anything to get her to understand that although he'd been temporarily insane, he'd returned to his senses.

He drove first to her apartment, but found it completely empty. He was tempted to try the spare key and let himself in, but thought better of it. His next thought was to try the Compound, but he also found this unoccupied. He'd overlooked the fact that anyone rarely worked at the Compound on a Sunday.

Feeling at a loss, JC decided to try her cell–phone, but he had no luck there either. Thinking quickly, he tried Chris's cell. Chris usually knew most of his friends' whereabouts. JC dialled the number with shaking fingers.

Chris answered in three rings.

"'Lo?"

"Where are you? Where's Clare?" JC asked, too wound up to bother with civilities. He needed answers and fast.

"Er, airport," Chris answered hesitantly. At once JC remembered back to a conversation he'd overheard at the Compound a few days ago. Something about Clare taking a vacation. But he hadn't been listening intently enough to have heard the details. Clare never took vacations, and so he hadn't paid that much attention. But now that he was putting two and two together... maybe he was wrong.

"You or her?"

"Both."

Dammit. JC fought back a growl and he slammed his foot back down onto the gas pedal. As the car sped forward, a shower of gravel and dust flew up from the rear tyres. He pulled out onto the street and headed straight for the freeway. Now he had a destination he just needed to hope and pray that he'd get there in time. 

"Is she there now?"

"Sorry, dude. She didn't want me to call you, otherwise—"

"Doesn't matter. You have to stop her, Chris. Don't let her get on any flights before I'm there—"

"JC..."

"—I mean it. I have to see her. Do whatever it takes, man."

"I'll see what I can do, but—"

JC ended the call and tossed his cell onto the empty passenger seat as he pressed his foot further down onto the pedal. Already he was well past breaking the speed limit, but JC didn't care. He gripped both hands tightly around the steering wheel and blew out a shaky breath. He needed all of his concentration to navigate through the traffic at the speed that he was travelling.

~~~~~*~~~~~

Chris stared in confusion as the caller I.D on his phone disappeared and he was left with the standard wallpaper display on the screen. His brow furrowed as he realised that the call had been disconnected, presumably by JC himself.

Chris flicked his eyes back to Clare's retreating body and felt a flash of adrenaline surge through him. He had to stop her. He had to do something to stall her just until JC was able to make it to the airport. He didn't know what was going on, but he could tell by the panic in his band mate's voice that it was urgent, and he didn't doubt that it might have significant consequences for Clare.

"Stop... we have to stop her!" Chris muttered as he grasped at Jamie's arm to get her attention. Immediately she turned and frowned at him before pulling her arm back out of his grasp. Chris stared at her with wide, energised eyes.

"What?"

"Clare. We have to stop her from getting on the plane. It's important."

Jamie's eyes immediately flicked to the cell–phone in Chris hand and the furrow in her brow deepened as she turned back to continue waving at Clare, ignoring Chris' hysteria. "She's gone, he's too late," she said, putting two and two together. She didn't even have to ask him to know that it was JC who had called Chris, but she had no intention of helping him with anything. She was still angry with him over the way he'd treated her friend and was in no mood to humour his whims.

"He's comin' to the airport. He said somethin' about needing to see her before she leaves."

"Well, call him back and tell him he's too late."

"Jam! This could be important!" Chris said as he began to jump up and down on the spot, waving his arms erratically around in the hopes of catching Clare's attention. She was just out of earshot and the noisy crowd in the terminal weren't helping much either but if he could just get her attention...

Jamie turned her head and raised an eyebrow at Chris. She let out a small sigh and tugged lightly on one of his arms to pull it back down to his side. Chris looked at her in alarm and tried to free his imprisoned limb.

"Let her go, hon," Jamie said as she met his eyes and reached out to capture his other arm. She pinned them at his side and although her could easily break through her restraint, Chris didn't and he listened as she offered him an explanation. "She needs this," she said soothingly.

"So does he."

"She needs a chance to get away from him. You know I'm right."

"It's too late now anyway, man," Justin said as he met Chris' eyes. Justin was standing slightly to the side of the main group of friends and he'd clearly seen Sara, Jason and Clare depart through the gate whilst Chris had been distracted with Jamie. He gave Chris an apologetic shrug. "I guess he could always call her on her cell when she lands?" He suggested, trying to sound optimistic.

Chris pulled a face and glanced back at the gate. "Yeah, I guess. But he's not going to be happy about it."

~~~~~*~~~~~

JC ran over to his group of friends through the busy terminal building, dodging trolleys of luggage and careless tourists meandering through the hallway before coming to a stop beside Justin. His eyes searched hastily through the crowd, searching each face for Clare's brown eyes. Failing to find her anywhere, JC turned to Chris' and noticed for the first time the awkward grimace on his friend's face.

"Where...?" He asked breathlessly and placed his hands on his hips before bending forward slightly to aid catching his breath. His eyes never left Chris' as he waited for his reply.

"Sorry, man. You're too late."

JC straightened up and stared straight ahead at the departure gate. Swearing inwardly at the fact he'd risked a traffic accident, a parking fine and a near–collision with a trolley–load of luggage for nothing he stared helplessly ahead as his hope died. He was too late.

"We did try to stop her," Chris assured him as he noted the dejected expression on JC's face. "At least, I did," he added afterwards and glared accusingly over at Jamie who shrugged and narrowed her eyes back.

"Damn it!" JC swore loudly causing several faces of strangers to turn and frown at him in displeasure as they went about their business. "I really needed to talk to her."

And how, how did I let her get away? / 'Cause love, love is so easy to feel / But the hardest thing to say / If she could just see what I see when I close my eyes / All that I dream / Surely she would realise / Like a fool I waited much too long to let her know the truth / Now she's gone away, maybe she'd stay/ If she only knew...

~~~~~*~~~~~