~~~~~*~~~~~

As Chris sat having his makeup retouched before the group's next television appearance, he glanced over at JC, who was leaning against the wall waiting for his turn whilst staring off into space. JC hadn't been himself since two days ago at the airport, and there had been nothing that anyone could say—or do—to change that.

"Earth to JC. Come in JC! Your time is up!"

Either he was too lost in his thoughts to pay attention, or he simply chose to ignore him but either way, JC didn't react.

"Ten minutes 'till you're on, guys," Jamie called through the dressing room door as she passed by the corridor on the way to the studio. It wasn't ordinarily her job to accompany the guys on non–tour related events. But someone had called in sick and so she'd been asked to fill in. Jamie's easy camaraderie with the guys meant that she was often asked to fill in for other members of the team.

"Four of us will be there," Chris called back sarcastically as he continued to watch JC stare into space with an amused smirk on his face.

"That's not somethin' I wanna be hearing!" Jamie called back in concern. "Who's the one not with it?"

"Guess," Joey quipped as he, too, watched JC with amusement. Although neither of them were happy to see their friend in such a state, they couldn't deny that it was amusing that JC was finally the one getting into trouble. Mr. Perfectionist—as he was known amongst the group—rarely put a foot wrong and was usually the last person to not be focused.

"JC?" Jamie shouted through the door, causing JC's head to snap to attention. He turned to meet Chris' eyes, then Joey's, clearly confused by the sound of his name being called.

"You heard the lady," Chris said as he raised an amused eyebrow at his band mate. "We've got ten minutes."

"Oh!" JC said in an awkward voice and he leaned forward to check his hair in the mirror in front of him. "Right."

~~~~~*~~~~~

"So... how does it feel to be getting away from all of your problems?" Sara asked Clare as the pair of them reclined by the hotel pool. They'd already spent two full days in Spain, and although Sara was already feeling thoroughly relaxed, Clare felt... exactly the same way she had two days ago.

Clare tilted her head slightly on the lounger and gave Sara a small, sad smile. "Thing is, I know they'll just be waiting for me when I get home," she said.

Sara nodded in understanding and reached out to pat her friend's hand fondly. "I know," she said gently, "but maybe things will be a little easier after a week away."

Clare nodded. "I really hope so."

~~~~~*~~~~~

Sara woke to the sound of muffled crying coming from the balcony outside her and Clare's hotel room, and she pushed back the bedcovers and reached for the robe that she'd left draped across the bottom of her bed.

Slipping it over her shoulders, Sara padded gently over to the sliding glass door and tentatively grasped the handle, sliding the door open with the quietest of movements. She didn't want to alarm Clare.

"I'm sorry..." Clare spluttered through her tears as she heard Sara tiptoe across the balcony and she allowed Sara to pull her into a tight embrace. Clare felt riddled with guilt for waking her friend up—for the second night running—and wished that she'd insisted on having her own room for the duration of the holiday. It really wasn't fair what she'd been putting Sara through.

"Don't be silly," Sara said, whispering soothing sounds into her ear. "Just let it all out, honey," she said, causing Clare to squeeze her eyes shut tight. Clare felt as though she really didn't deserve her friend's patience or understanding, but she was so grateful for it.

Sara knew how important it was for Clare to let out all the pain and grief that she was experiencing. She'd witnessed her friend putting on a brave face during the day. Drinking Sangria and giggling as they chatted by the pool. Even pretending to enjoy exploring the little streets of Barcelona that they'd spent hours meandering through on their first day. Sara knew Clare well enough to know that she could be a very good actress, and tried not to feel hurt that despite her best attempts to get her friend to smile, it never really reached Clare's eyes.

Sara understood why and so she was more than happy to just hold her friend be there for her, even in the middle of the night as she stood on the balcony, sobbing her heart out. It was a necessary therapy, even if it was hard to watch.

"He doesn't want me..." Clare sobbed, and even Sara had to close her eyes to stop her own tears from spilling out. It was heart–breaking just to listen to the sound of Clare's voice. So grief–stricken and hopeless.

"Oh, honey..."

"I love him, and he just..." Clare let out a loud sniff and her chin began to wobble, "he just..."

Sara squeezed her back tightly. She was unsure of what to say, but hoped that just being there would be enough. There were no words that could take away Clare's pain; there was no easy answer to help heal her heart. She'd get there eventually, but it'd take time and a lot of shed tears.

"I know, honey. It's all so messed up."

"A baby..." Clare continued to sob, and feeling her begin to pull away, Sara released a little of her grip on Clare's shoulders and glanced up to meet her eyes. "He's having a baby with her..."

Sara nodded sadly. A baby should be something to celebrate—a joyful occasion. But Sara wondered if anyone would be able to feel that way about Alyson and JC's child. She hated to admit it, but it felt... wrong.

Clare was meant to be with JC. That was obvious to almost everyone who knew them. Who'd seen the pair of them together. Sure, at times they could be like chalk and cheese, but no one made JC laugh like Clare did. And no one caused Clare's eyes to light up like JC. They had all the important things in common, and both of them had the sense to not want to try to change their differences. They brought out the best in each other, and had a deep affection that neither time nor distance had been able to affect... until now.

Now, Sara wondered how either of them would be able to carry on with their lives. She certainly wouldn't find it easy. How do you carry on knowing that the person you were supposed to be with had found someone else?

"I always thought that'd be me one day," Clare sobbed.

"I know you did, sweetie."

"It's so stupid. I was such an idiot thinking that one day we'd be together. Life isn't a fairy–tale; I should know that by now."

Sara dropped her eyes to the floor. There was so much that she wanted to say, but she didn't know if she could, or should. Was it fair to give Clare false hope? Was it fair to encourage her to pursue feelings for another woman's man? Or should she help her friend move on? Suggest that maybe now was a good time to put those feelings to rest once and for all? She was so torn.

"He was like my best friend. I told him everything, and him me. Why wasn't that enough, Sara? Why couldn't he look at me the way he looks at her? What's so wrong with me and so right about her?"

This time Sara did physically stop herself from speaking. The things she was thinking were definitely not appropriate to say. She wanted to tell Clare that the problem wasn't with herself, it was with JC, but she realised that Clare wouldn't want to hear that, and that she'd also be criticising a colleague, which she didn't want to do. Yes, JC had made some terrible decisions, but overall he wasn't a bad person. Maybe that's why his actions were so hard to swallow. He deserved so much more than what he was settling for.

"Maybe one day..." Sara murmured before catching herself and immediately regretted her words. She shouldn't have allowed that to slip out.

Clare swallowed audibly and looked at her through puffy eyes. "No," she said with a whimper. "I can't wait for him. It's too painful, Sar."

"I know, honey," Sara said, pulling her into another hug. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. It's just so hard to think that you won't be together. It always seemed like you were meant to be, you know?"

"That's why it hurts," Clare said through fresh tears. "He always felt like my meant to be."

Sara nodded, and this time chose her words more carefully. "Well, if he's not, then that means that Mr. Right is still out there somewhere. You just have to focus on that. Somewhere there is someone out there waiting for you."

Clare said nothing, but Sara could tell by the change in her breathing and the way her sobbing had subsided somewhat that her words had gotten through. She felt Clare's arms tighten around her and a faint smile pulled at her lips.

"Thank you," Clare said softly. "Thank you for understanding and being there for me."

"Any time, sweetie. You know that. I'm always here for you, no matter what."

~~~~~*~~~~~

Jamie sat behind her desk the next day and watched as Chris, Lance, Joey and Justin all rolled around on the floor of her office play fighting. She glanced up at JC—who was sitting by himself on the easy chair by the window—in disbelief, but he was staring absently out of the window, completely unaware of what was happening around him. Despite knowing that she probably wouldn't get a response, Jamie tried to break through his trance anyway.

"Does Clare have to put up with this a lot?" She asked him, raising her voice to be heard over the din. As expected, JC continued to stare out of the window as though he hadn't heard.

"Hello?" Jamie called again, louder this time, and she waved her hand in his direction in an attempt to catch his eye. Again, nothing. Jamie let out a huff and rolled her eyes. "Are you going to be this miserable the whole time she's away?" She snapped and glared down at her computer screen. Although she was trying to be sensitive to his situation, Jamie was getting pretty tired of having to deal with JC's attitude.

"I'm not miserable," JC retaliated suddenly and Jamie's eyes flicked over to his face to find him staring back at her, his brow furrowed slightly. Jamie snorted in amusement and raised an eyebrow.

"Right..."

"Why don't you just call her?" Chris offered helpfully as he clamoured up from the floor and brushed down his jeans. He reached into the back pocket on his jeans and handed JC his cell–phone offering his friend an encouraging smile. Once the main protagonist of the fight had gone, Lance, Justin and Joey also got to their feet and watched the exchange between Chris and JC with interest. Nearly everyone had an opinion on the whole 'JC/Clare incident', but none were as forthcoming as Chris.

"Why don't you just call her?" JC mimicked in a childish voice. Chris beamed back at his friend and rolled his eyes as though the answer was obvious.

"I have," he said nonchalantly and gave a small shrug. "We spoke last night."

JC's face fell. "Oh."

"Go ahead," Jamie encouraged and nodded at the cell–phone, which Chris was still holding out to JC. "What's the harm in trying?"

JC glanced from Jamie to Chris and then back again, before accepting the phone and dialling the number that he knew off by heart. He took a deep breath and held the phone to his ear, waiting for the call to be connected. Glancing up casually, he was met by five eager pairs of eyes and he shifted in his seat to face the wall, rather than look at the expectant faces of his friends. He could really do with some privacy, but he knew that that was probably out of the question.

"You have reached the answering service for this number. The person you have called is currently unavailable. Please leave a message, or try again later."

JC ended the call and handed the phone back to Chris without a word. Chris raised an eyebrow and waited for an explanation.

"Voicemail," JC answered gloomily and attempted a shrug, which no one was convinced by.

"Maybe try again later?" Justin suggested.

"Yeah, maybe."

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare watched Jason twirl his sister around on the small makeshift dance–floor that had been set up in the restaurant they'd been eating at. It was a balmy hot night, and after a busy day of sightseeing, Clare had been ready to take the weight off of her feet.

She and Sara had spent an hour wandering around La Sagrada Familia that morning, had visited the Picasso Museum in the afternoon and had joined Jason for dinner at a restaurant just off of Las Ramblas Boulevard.

It had been a perfect end to the day, but as Clare took a sip of her cocktail and glanced around at the couples sitting either side of her table, their faces lit up by the trails of fairy–lights that had been draped around the patio, Clare felt a lump form in her throat.

It was a beautiful setting. And she'd had a lovely day, but still she felt miserable. It didn't matter how beautiful the scenery was, or how interesting the places she'd visited with Sara were, they just didn't seem to change the well of sadness inside of her. She'd hoped that they would, and as the time began to run down on her holiday, Clare began to realise that a week just wouldn't be enough time to sort out her head, or her heart.

She was trying her best to push thoughts of JC to the back of her mind, but it wasn't easy. It also caught Clare by surprise when her feelings got the better of her. It wasn't just when she was alone, but when she was in the middle of a crowd, too.

"Hey!" Sara giggled as she and Jason returned to the table. Both their faces were flushed from the dancing, and Clare gave them a smile as they plopped back down into their chairs. Sara regarded Clare carefully for a moment before reaching out to place a comforting hand over hers.

"Another drink?" Jason asked as he half stood and peeped into Clare's empty glass.

Clare nodded. "Yes, please. I dunno what it's called, but it's yummy!"

Jason laughed. "I believe it's called a screwdriver, and I'll get you another if you like?"

"Yes, please. Thanks, Jace."

Sara waited until Jason was out of earshot before speaking. She took a sip of her own drink and then cleared her throat. "I called Justin this morning. Told him that we'd be flying back around lunchtime on Sunday..."

Clare glanced up and noticed Sara's questioning expression for the first time.

"You're not ready, are you?" Sara asked her, the concern showing in her eyes.

"Ready?"

"To go home, I mean,"

"To be honest... no," Clare admitted with a sigh, "but I don't know if I can stay away any longer..."

"'Cause of Libby?"

"Yeah, and just being out of the loop as well. Things are gonna go crazy with tour preparations in the next week or so. It's really not a good time to be away. There's gonna be so much work to do—"

"But Johnny said you could take as long as you needed. There's no need to rush back if you don't feel ready. You've still got loads of vacations days left, haven't you?"

"Well, yeah," Clare admitted with a shrug, "but I just feel so bad about leaving people struggling without me. Jamie's already up to her eyeballs in it, and with the interns covering Libby's shifts, it just doesn't seem a good time to be away."

"You can't worry about that, Clare. You've got your own concerns to focus on. With what you've been dealing with, no one would blame you if you took a whole month off."

"But what's the point? I can't stay away forever. And what if after a whole month I still didn't feel ready? I thought I'd be okay after a week. Now I'm not sure if I'll ever feel like myself again..."

Returning to the table with the drinks, Jason overheard the last part of the women's conversation and smiled down fondly at Clare. It was difficult for both him and Sara to keep the concern off their faces when they discussed Clare's problems. They were both worried about her.

Placing Clare's drink in front of her, Jason returned to his seat and hoped that his reappearance would stop the two women from talking. He knew how much Sara had been wanting to discuss Clare's plans, but she'd been too worried about bringing the subject up and upsetting Clare. She was so fragile at the moment.

"So what do you wanna do?" Sara asked.

Clare let out a sigh and shook her head, her eyes falling onto the glass in front of her. "I really don't know," she said sadly. "I haven't really thought it all through yet to be honest. I was kinda hoping that a week would be enough, you know?"

Jason nodded. He understood exactly how Clare felt. "You can't rush it, Clare," he reminded her gently. "A lot has happened in a short amount of time. You need to give yourself time to process all that's happened before you can try to move on."

Clare gave him a wry smile. "It's just not very convenient," she said with a chuckle.

"Well, I'm headed to Germany next. It's not very exciting, but you're welcome to join me if you like," Jason said.

Clare was grateful for the offer but she felt she'd already imposed enough on Jason and Sara's kindness as it was. And if anything, she'd begun to feel that maybe having a bit of time to herself might be beneficial. Sara had been very understanding of her ups and downs, but Clare had spent a lot of the holiday putting on a brave face to hide her unhappiness. She was tired of pretending. Tired of hiding her real feelings. Tired of holding back the turmoil of emotion that was buried deep inside of her.

"Thanks, but I think I might spend some time in Miami for a while. I love it there, and it's not too far from home. Could be a good place to go to clear my head."

"Well, the invitation stands if you change your mind."

Clare smiled and raised her drink in a toast to her friends. Grinning, Jason and Sara followed suit and the three of them clinked their glasses together before breaking out into giggles.

"Thanks so much for letting me tag along, guys. I hope I haven't bummed your holiday out too much," Clare said, giving Sara a knowing, apologetic smile.

"Don't be silly," Sara told her with a wink. "It's been lovely having you come along. I'm so glad we could be the ones to put a smile back on your face."

"Here, here!" Jason said enthusiastically, making both Clare and Sara laugh. "Cheers!"

~~~~~*~~~~~

Lisa sat in the auditorium feeling her eyelids growing heavier by the minute. The lecturer's voice continued to drone on, but Lisa hadn't been following a word she'd been saying for the past half an hour or so.

She was too preoccupied.

As promised, Lisa had made an appointment to see her doctor about her sickness, but the results had been inconclusive. Fortunately, Joey had insisted on accompanying her just in case she decided to wuss out at the last minute. He knew her too well, it seemed.

They'd both been frustrated by the doctor's inability to find out what was wrong, but none more so than Lisa herself. She was already fed up of feeling unwell, and had hoped at the least that the doctor would give her some kind of medication that would clear everything up and get her feeling back to normal again. However, she had no such luck.

Instead, it had been suggested that she try to carry on as normal and attend a few appointments at the hospital to run some further tests. It hadn't been what she'd wanted to hear, but Lisa had no other choice. The only consolation she could find was that if there had been something terribly wrong with her, the doctor would have been able to find it by now.

She could only imagine that she was run down and over–tired. Much like all the other students on her course. She'd done a lot of travelling in recent months, so maybe her body–clock was just messed up, or something? Nearly every student on the course had agreed that the work was too hard, and the lectures too long and boring. It was only the fact that Lisa wanted her degree so badly that she'd decided to stick it out. And, she had a silver lining approaching in just a few months’ time—she was heading out on tour with the group during her summer break.

"Miss Harland!" The professor called suddenly, causing Lisa to start and her heart to start pounding away in her chest. She hadn't been aware that her head had slowly been drooping onto the desk in front of her.

As she heard the laughter of her fellow students in the auditorium, Lisa felt her cheeks flush scarlet with humiliation. She was so embarrassed to have been caught almost falling asleep at her desk.

"Sorry," she said, mumbling her apology, and she slouched low in her seat, raising her shoulders in an attempt to hide her red cheeks. "I'm so sorry."

Lisa wanted to explain that she wasn't feeling well, but she knew that it would sound as though she were just making excuses. She reminded herself that she just had a few more weeks of lectures to get through, and then she'd be free for the whole of the summer. If she looked at it like that, then she could get through anything. Even the most boring lecture in the history of humankind.

~~~~~*~~~~~