~~~~~*~~~~~

Justin sat in Libby's hospital room a few days later, watching the Orlando Magic’s play on the small TV attached to the wall. He had his sneakers off and was resting his feet on the edge of the bed as he slouched in the visitor's chair.

Libby was asleep, and had been for most of the morning, but Justin had become used to this during his visits. For him just being able to be there with her was enough, and anything else on top was a bonus. Libby had been through a lot just by regaining consciousness, and the doctors had warned her—and him—that she needed to take it easy and not push herself too much.

At first, Libby had fought against her body's wishes to sleep, and she'd struggled through drooping lids to keep her eyes open at all costs. However she'd soon realised that every time she came round after resting she was more alert and able to communicate easier, which had helped her take the pressure off herself and allow her body to rest when she felt she needed to.

Just being awake for more than twenty minutes straight was incredibly tiring, and Libby was still in lots of pain, but even she could see that she was making progress. Her voice—which was slow and slurred when she spoke—was gradually coming back to her, although it was still hardly more than a whisper at times. She could read and write, which the doctors had warned her she may have needed to re–learn, and her broken arm was now fully healed and useable. When she'd had her injuries explained to her by the medical team, Libby had realised just how lucky she really was to be alive.

As one of the players scored, Justin jumped forward in the chair and reached his arms out in front of him as he let out a silent roar of victory. He grinned and risked a glance at Libby, who seemed to have been disturbed by his movement and opened her eyes a slither.

"Sorry," Justin apologised sheepishly as he turned the TV volume down even lower with the remote. "Go back to sleep. I'll be quiet."

Libby shook her head and lifted herself up in the bed slightly so that she was no longer lying flat. She met his eyes and let out a loud yawn. "Winning?" she asked in a hoarse whisper as Justin reached forward to adjust her pillows to make sure that she was comfortable.

"It doesn't matter," he said as he flicked the off button on the remote and twisted his body around in the chair so that he was facing her. "Sleepy?"

Libby grimaced. "When aren't I?" she muttered and gave him a wry smile. "It's really annoying."

"It's gonna take time, Libs,” he said, nodding. “You've been… asleep for a while."

Libby fixed him with a no nonsense stare and narrowed her eyes. "I was in a coma," she corrected. "You can say the word. I won't get upset."

The smile fell instantly from Justin's face, and the sadness returned to his eyes. For some reason, Libby had no problem discussing her accident and its consequences far more bluntly than her friends. 

"Yeah, but I will," Justin said quietly as a vision of Libby's motionless and battered body popped into his mind. "I just can't..."

Libby saw the pain in his eyes and was filled with shame. Now that the shock of her coming out of the coma had started to wear off, Libby was catching glimpses of the effects that her accident had taken on her friends— especially her mother—and she was haunted by almost constant feelings of guilt and shame. Why had she been so reckless as to have risked her life so casually? What had she been thinking? Had her exams really been so important to her that she'd forgotten all about her friends' and family's feelings? It pained her to see them now all so raw and upset, and she realised that she had no one else to blame for that than herself and her thoughtless actions.

"I'm sorry..." Libby said as she reached out a hand to him. She hoped that her words would be comforting, but they did nothing to erase the pain on Justin's face. "I'm back now.”

"But you were gone so long, Lib," Justin said as he reached forward to take her hand in his. He was no longer be afraid of touching her, and although it surprised Libby how often he seemed to need physical contact, she was glad that his initial awkwardness had passed.

All the time that he'd been hovering near the end of the bed, seemingly unsure of what to do or say, Libby had felt sick inside. Since regaining consciousness, Libby had been terrified that Justin would be different around her; that their friendship might’ve been affected by her accident. His standoffish behaviour had made her fear the worst. Was he angry with her? In the time that she'd been unconscious had he found someone else? Had she driven a wedge between them? Would they be able to go back to the way things had been? Would he be able to forget the image of seeing her unconscious in a hospital bed?

"I was so scared that we were going to lose you," Justin said as he swallowed the lump in his throat. He stared into her eyes, hoping that she understood what he was really trying to say. Libby nodded sadly and dropped her eyes to the bedcovers. She couldn't maintain eye contact with him when he looked so sad. It was like a stab in the heart every time she looked into his eyes. She'd done this to him. She was responsible for his unhappiness, and the tears in his eyes. She was the one who'd nearly parted them forever, and just when they'd been getting so close...

"I heard—" Libby muttered before screwing her face up and grimacing in pain. Justin shuffled forward in his chair and squeezed her hand tightly, his eyes widening with concern, but Libby pointed at the tube in her throat as way of explanation. She let out a little cough, swallowed and started again. "I heard you and Clare fighting. You sound like brother and sister sometimes."

Justin looked surprised for a moment and then burst into raucous laughter. His emotions were so out of control at the moment that he couldn't do anything by halves. He was either sunk in a tearful depression or inappropriately loud and raucous.

At the sound of his laughter, Libby couldn't help but grin. She'd missed that sound. She'd missed his smile. She'd missed him.

"You're bad," Libby chuckled, and this time when she met his eyes she noticed that the sadness had gone. Temporarily, at least.

She casually glanced down at the hoodie top that she was still dressed in and then back up at Justin, a very obvious twinkle in her eyes. The nurses had promised her that once she was stronger she would be able to leave her bed for a few minutes to freshen up and change her clothes, but Libby was still so weak that it'd been decided to wait a few more days.

"Yours," she said matter–of–factly and smirked as a slight blush appeared on Justin's cheeks.

"Err... yeah,” he mumbled before clearing his throat. “Clare wasn't too happy about that...”

"I have my own clothes," Libby said as she pointed to the small suitcase beside her bed that Clare had bought in from home. Clare had already told Libby during her visit the day before that Justin had refused to let her swap the hoodie that she was wearing for something else. They'd both found it funny how defensive he’d become when Clare had pressed him on it. Although she'd laughed about it at the time, when alone that night, Libby’s mind had wandered over the conversations she'd had that day. She couldn't help but feel choked by the thought of Justin taking such an involved role in her day–to–day care.

"I know... I just..." Justin glanced away at the window, and took a minute to gather his thoughts before he continued. When he spoke his words came out in a muddled rush. "I didn't want you to feel alone. I knew that you were probably scared, and I wanted you to know that I was here for you. Even when I couldn't be here I wanted you to know that I was thinking about you."

Tears once again filled Libby's eyes, and she gave him a wobbly smile as they began to make tracks down her cheeks. She was crying a lot lately, and she hated it. Apparently it was completely normal for someone in her position, but Libby hated not having a rein on her emotions. It was so unlike her. She hated feeling weak, emotional and damaged, and already she wished that things could just go back to the way they'd been before the accident. She missed her old life.

Clare had gently told Libby that she'd been withdrawn from college after they'd been informed of her accident. Her fees for the semester had been refunded to her, and she'd been offered an unconditional space on the following year's course, if she wished to re–join.

Libby already knew that she wouldn't.

She no longer cared about getting her degree. Her perspective on life had changed so drastically, and she no longer wanted to spend her life with her head stuck in textbooks. There was so much more that she wanted to do with the rest of her life.

She wanted to see the world, and spend time with the people that she loved and cared about. She wanted to do all the things she'd spent the past six weeks dreaming of doing was she lucky enough to recover. She'd promised herself that never again would she let something take over her life in the way that her studies had, unless it brought happiness and peace.

So what if she might not advance in her job without her degree! Who cared? She had her life back, and she was determined not to become consumed by her career either. Work was only one part of her life. She also had her friends, hopefully she'd regain her health and strength too, and maybe she'd even be lucky enough to get the one thing she wanted above all…

"I think I knew," Libby whispered, attempting a smile even as her tears continued to fall. Justin leaned forward in his chair to hear her better. "...I think I knew that you were here."

"Really?"

"Yeah, kinda..." Libby said, unsure of how to put into words her thoughts and feelings. She wanted to say that she'd been aware of his presence. How she'd felt comforted when she'd heard his voice or felt him hold her hand. How hearing him introduce himself to her mother had made her heart swell with joy, and how she'd wished that she'd been able to see as well as hear them speak to each other.

She wanted to say that having him around her had helped her focus on getting better, and that although she'd often fallen into an abyss of panic, it had often been his face that had brought her clarity, and helped her swim out of the darkness. She wanted to say that although they'd always just been friends, she'd never realised how much more than friends they really were. And that when it came down to it, her feelings for him were so much more than friendship.

"I hope so," Justin said as he gave her hand another squeeze. "I really hope so, Libs."

Libby smiled, and bit down nervously on her tongue. Should she go further? Could she go further? Was this the right time to tell him how she felt, or should she wait until she was at least out of the hospital? Or at least able to go shower and wash her hair. No one had said anything, but she must have looked a mess. Now she thought about it, she didn’t really want the memory of the time she confessed her feelings to Justin to involve her wearing a grotty hoodie and not having brushed her teeth. It wasn’t the fairy–tale romantic moment she’d been dreaming of.

Libby met his eyes once again and noticed that he was grinning. Not his usual grin, but the smirk he usually had on his face when he found something amusing and was just about to burst out laughing.

Libby began to chuckle. “What?”

“Clare,” he explained before snorting with laughter just as Libby had predicted. “She hates me.”

Libby giggled but tried her best to sober up. “That’s not funny,” she said, even as the grin broadened on her face.

“It is,” Justin corrected, “she’s proper pissed at me. Thinks I’m too possessive over you.”

Libby continued to smile, but didn’t know what to say.

What could she say to something like that? Was he being possessive over her? Yes. Even she could sense the tension in the room when Clare and Justin were together, but was she unhappy about it? Not really. She secretly loved the fact that he was behaving like such a boyfriend around her. But she hoped that things wouldn’t continue being awkward between Clare and he long term. If Justin were ever to become more than just friends with her, Clare and he would have to sort out their differences.

~~~~~*~~~~~

"I can't believe I'm leaving you," Catherine told her daughter that evening as she made her final visit to the hospital before catching her flight back to the UK. Catherine had used up all her leave from her job back home in the UK, and so she had little choice but to head home.

Now that Libby was out of the coma and showing signs of making a full recovery, Catherine knew that it was safe to leave her daughter in the care of the hospital staff and Libby’s friends. Catherine had promised Libby that she would return in a month or two to spend some time with her, and make sure that she was taking good care of herself. Libby had agreed to this, but knew deep down that when the time came to it she wouldn't need checking up on.

She'd learnt her lesson one hundred percent, and now had a new respect for the fragility of life. No more rock climbing or extreme sport of any kind, she promised her mother. And Libby knew that if she ever forgot, her friends certainly wouldn't. Already they'd begun to watch over her with an intensity that was beginning to get on her nerves, and Libby realised that it would be a long time before they stopped worrying.

As Clare stood waiting in the doorway, Christine and Libby said their goodbyes.

"When you're stronger I want you to come and visit us, you hear? Your brothers are desperate to see you again, and it's been so long since we've all been together. We'll have to have a family Christmas this year, okay?"

Libby nodded at her mother and held out her arms for a hug. Once held in Catherine's embrace, Libby opened her eyes and grimaced playfully at Clare over her mother's shoulder.

Clare giggled and nodded back in understanding. She knew that the idea of a family Christmas at home would fill Libby with horror, and she thought it funny how hard Libby was trying to keep this fact from her mother to spare her feelings.

"And no more horrible boyfriends!" Catherine said as she released her arms from around Libby so that she could look her daughter in the eyes as she spoke. "Find someone who will treat you nicely and look after you. Like that nice Justin boy."

Libby cringed with embarrassment as a blush came over her cheeks. Although she realised that her feelings for Justin were most likely out of the bag, Libby still wasn't comfortable discussing them. Especially as she still hadn't discussed them with Justin yet.

"Mom!" Libby complained as she ducked her head to hide her embarrassment. "Please stop."

Catherine chuckled and glanced over her shoulder at Clare. "Make sure you take care of my little girl, Clare," she said as she got up from her seat on Libby's bed and crossed the room to hug Clare goodbye.

"I promise," Clare told her, her voice sincere. She glanced over Catherine's shoulders at Libby and grinned. Libby gave her a sideways smirk back and rolled her eyes. Clare had a feeling it wouldn’t be long before Libby started telling everyone off for being over–protective, but Clare was determined to make the most of it while she could.

Turning back to face her daughter once again, Catherine reached out and blew her a kiss as her eyes clouded over with tears.

"I love you," she said and Libby made the shape of a heart with her fingers before holding it over her chest.

"I love you, too."

~~~~~*~~~~~

During Justin's next visit, Libby once again insisted that he sit on the bed beside her, even though Justin knew that the nurses would be annoyed if they saw him sitting anywhere other than in the allotted guest chair. Libby didn't seem to care. She wanted Justin as close to her as possible, and she wasn't about to let any silly hospital rules get in the way.

Once he was sitting closely beside her, Libby wrapped Justin's left arm around herself and snuggled comfortably into his chest. Justin chuckled at the bossy tone in her voice, but was completely submissive to her requests. If she wanted to be in his arms then he was not about to dissuade her any time soon.

After falling into a comfortable silence, Libby once again felt the familiar tug of drowsiness overwhelm her, and it wasn't long before her head was resting against Justin's shoulder. In just a few short minutes she was fast asleep.  

Justin, meanwhile, had sat watching her for a moment before deciding to flick on the TV. The hospital didn't have many channels, but he guessed that there would be at least one channel he could watch to kill time. Unfortunately, it was at this point that he realised that the TV remote was sitting halfway across the room by the hand washing station, and that there was no way he could fetch it without waking Libby.

Unable to move, Justin turned his attention back to Libby, and allowed himself a sneaky chance to watch her while she slept. In the past if she’d known that he was watching her so intently she would have yelled at him or playfully slapped him away, but she'd been different around him since coming out of the coma.

She seemed to want him around her more, and even complained when he sat too far away from her or left in the middle of his visit to go to fetch a drink. Not that he minded. Justin loved seeing and hearing her put into words how much she wanted and needed him. It was everything that he'd wished to hear for the almost two years that they'd known each other. He only wished that it was easier to tell her how he felt. Even after all they’d been through the minute he thought about discussing his feelings he was reduced to a trembling mess. He knew he needed to get his act together, but it was hard. It was Libby. His Libby. So much rested on her answer.

Although Justin realise, Libby was well aware that she'd lost a lot of precious time. In the grand scheme of things six weeks didn't seem a long time, but with the tour eminent it was crucial time that she might otherwise have spent with her friends—and more importantly, Justin. Although she hadn't said anything—and Justin hadn't mentioned it—Libby had done the maths in her head and worked out that he and the rest of the group would soon be leaving on tour for at least three months—if not longer, depending how things went. Libby would have to spend those months trying to adapt to her new life whilst missing nearly all of her friends. Even Lisa was making the trip with the group. It was a sobering thought for Libby.

Three months was a long time to be without someone—especially someone whom she had spent six weeks just hoping to see one last time. Libby didn't have the words—or the stamina—to express to Justin just how important he was to her, or how she’d come to realise that without his support and presence in her life she would have found it hard to find the will to break through the darkness and reclaim her life.

Justin got her. There was no other way to describe it.

He understood things about her that she had to explain to others. He knew exactly what to say to bring her out of a mood, or when she just needed to be left alone to clear her head. He knew when she needed a hug, even before she’d asked for one, and most importantly, he never judged her. It seemed that no matter what his feelings for her were unconditional, and Libby didn’t quite know how to take that.

She realised that their friendship was balancing on a knife edge; that it probably always had been. But the smoke had finally been cleared from her eyes. There was no more drama. No more obstacles. She loved him, and she thought that he probably loved her too.

Libby hoped that Justin would finally work it out on his own how much she really wanted to be with him. There really wasn't anything that she wanted more than to be with him. The minute he did, she wouldn't hesitate. She just hoped that it wouldn’t take him too long to figure it out.

Justin let out a deep sigh as he ran his eyes over every part of Libby’s face. Had it really been three days? Three days and he still hadn't told her how he felt? Hadn't he promised himself that the first thing he'd do when she woke was tell her that he loved her? What had happened to the plan?

He let out another long sigh. He really couldn’t keep letting the timing excuse get in the way.

Maybe I could wake her now and tell her?

He cleared his throat quietly, his eyes never leaving Libby’s face, and the sound caused her to stir slightly. At once Justin's heart jumped into his throat and his palms became clammy. Libby wriggled closer to his body and let out a sigh of her own before drifting back into sleep.

Maybe not… he thought as his courage deserted him. He needed time to think about it anyway, he assured himself. He couldn't just blurt out 'I love you' the moment she opened her eyes. He needed to be smooth. Romantic. She deserved that, at least. He'd work out what to say and then just say it, even if the timing was off. He’d work up the courage, and finally tell her how he felt. He owed it to both of them to at least tell her how he felt.

~~~~~*~~~~~