~~~~~*~~~~~

"So what really happened with you and JC?" Libby asked Clare when she was finally strong enough to raise the conversation. Libby had put the pieces together and realised that something big had happened during her time in the coma. Since waking she still hadn't seen JC, although many of her other friends had visited, and this very fact had made her suspicious.

Up until now Clare had steered the conversation into lighter areas of discussion—their mutual friends, work, even casual mentions of the tour preparations, but Libby knew that Clare was keeping something from her. However difficult it might be to hear, she wanted to know the truth.

"Oh, I don't know,” Clare said, pulling a face. "It doesn't seem the time or the place to burden you with my problems."

"Clare, I've been in a coma for six weeks, and by the sounds of things you've been dealing with lots of drama. You're not burdening me, you're letting me be your best friend again."

Clare huffed and eyed Libby cautiously. "Justin didn't tell you?"

"He told me that you were upset,” Libby said, shaking her head. “That something had happened between you and JC, but he wouldn't say any more. He said you'd tell me when you're ready."

Clare gave a wry smile. Gold star for Timberlake. For some reason it surprised her that he’d kept her confidence, and she felt momentarily bad for that.

"Well," she began, sucking in a deep breath as she tried to organise her thoughts, "things were good for a while. He was really supportive when we found out you'd had an accident," she met Libby's eyes and swallowed hard. "Truthfully, I don't know what I would have done without him back then."

"So what happened?" Libby probed gently.

"Alyson came back into the picture."

"Alyson?" Libby repeated in surprise. "The one who blabbed to the papers?"

"The very same." Watching Libby react to the news was like reliving it all over again, and Clare felt the familiar ache in her gut return at the memory. "Anyway, they got back together—”

"What?"

"Don't worry, he had the decency to at least wait until I was a complete mess to tell me that he was getting back with his ex…” Clare muttered bitterly, her voice dripping with sarcasm. “…And that he loved me, despite not wanting to be with me."

"He loves you?"

"Loved," Clare corrected." Past tense."

"I don't understand," Libby said with a frown. She was struggling to keep up with the flow of the conversation. Could all of this really have happened in just six weeks? "So he said that he loved you even though he was getting back with his ex?" She repeated, trying to make sense of the news.

"That's not all, Libs."

"It's not?"

"Nope. When you see JC you must be sure to congratulate him.” Clare paused dramatically. "On his engagement. And the baby..."

Libby placed a hand over her mouth as she tried to handle the shock of Clare's words. She stared at her friend with wide, horrified eyes. Perhaps it had been Clare's delivery, or the anger and bitterness in her words, but Libby's eyes once again began to fill with tears. She immediately began to imagine herself in Clare's position, and how she might feel if things were reversed. She pictured Justin's face in her mind and felt a painful stabbing in her chest. No...

"Clare, I'm so sorry... I don't even know what to say..."

"It's okay, Lib."

"No, it's really not," Libby replied. "I can't believe you've had to deal with all of that, and on top of worrying about me. I'm so sorry that you've had to go through all of that alone." Fresh tears filled Libby's eyes, and she wiped them away angrily with the back of her hand. "And I'm crying again, for goodness sake. You're the one who should be crying, not me."

"Honestly, Lib. I'm okay," Clare said, reaching out to take Libby's hand in her own. Libby sniffed loudly and watched her with wide, searching eyes. She wasn’t convinced for a second that Clare was fine.

"Okay, okay. I'm not fine, but I'm learning to accept what's happened. There's nothing I can do about it anyway."

"But how do you accept that?" Libby asked in disbelief. She knew that she wouldn't be able to just accept things the way Clare said she had. "How do you recover from that?" Libby asked lowering her voice, "You love him, Clare. You can't just stop loving someone!"

"I got away for a bit," Clare explained as she gave Libby's hand a squeeze. It felt good to be finally saying these things out loud, and it made Clare realise how far she'd come that it really was only Libby who was crying. She must've started to come around to accepting it after all. "Sara and Jason took me to Barcelona for a week, and then I went to Miami for a week all by myself. I just needed some space, you know?"

"You went on holiday without me!" Libby teased and then smiled to show that she was only joking.

"Just to clear my head."

"And did it help?"

Clare hesitated as she thought about her answer.

Had it helped at the time? Kind of. Had it made her feel stronger and more able to move on? Not really. But now that she was back home and having to be around JC all the time again, Clare wasn't sure that it had made all that much difference. Chris' words to her on the day that she'd left for Spain again flashed through her mind.

'... No, you're running away from him.'

Clare hadn't wanted to admit it at the time but Chris had been right. And just like the old wives' tale said, ‘you can't run away from your problems’. Her drama with JC had patiently awaited her return.

"Maybe. I dunno. It's hard to tell. Seeing him every day and knowing that whatever I do or say he's already moved on...” she hesitated and swallowed audibly. “That's pretty hard." To say the least.

Libby nodded in understanding.

"And I know it's permanent, you know? He's having a baby with her, there's no hope for me at all." Libby regarded Clare sadly and nodded a few times. "JC would never walk out on a child,” Clare continued. “Everyone knows that. So, no. I have to move on and accept that it just wasn't meant to be."

Libby remained silent and nodded once again. It certainly did look very unlikely that Clare would get her dream life with JC now; even though Libby had felt sure in her heart that it’d been meant to be. Maybe she and Clare had used up their shares of magic dust by coming to America? Was it greedy of them to want more? How much luck did one person deserve in a lifetime?

"Not that you need to worry about that happening to you," Clare teased playfully as she noticed the glum expression on Libby's face. She was desperate to lighten the atmosphere and change the subject away from her sad romantic life.

"I don't know what you mean," Libby replied as a blush spread over her cheeks. She ducked her head to hide her embarrassment and avoided Clare’s eyes.

"Oh, come on!" Clare laughed at her. "Don't you play coy with me. If it wasn't obvious before then it certainly is now. That boy is crazy in love with you, Libby."

"Who?"

"Who my ass! You know who, Justin!"

"Clare, he's not in love with me," Libby corrected quickly, secretly feeling thrilled to hear Clare utter such words. "We're just friends..."

"No, Libs," Clare said with a chuckle. "You can't use that old line anymore. You may not be aware of it—even though it's blindingly obvious—but that boy is crazy in love with you. Libby, he's head over heels."

Libby opened her mouth to argue, but Clare held her hand up to silence her. "Nope, I'm serious about this. You haven't witnessed him these past weeks. He's been here every day since you came into the hospital, even though he's supposed to be getting ready for the tour. He's made friends with all the nurses and doctors here; they all thought he was your boyfriend as he was so devoted. He even knows all their names by heart. I happened to explain once that he was just a friend, and he sulked for days afterwards. He wouldn't even speak to me!"

Libby laughed at the thought of Justin sulking and ignoring Clare. He could be such a baby when he didn't get his own way.

"Every little thing I did or said he acted like I needed to go through him first to check that it was okay. If you needed to have any kind of treatment then he'd spend hours on the internet at work finding out what the risks were, and how it would help you to recover. When I went to Spain he sent me pages and pages of print outs from the internet about whether you were able to hear us talking to you, or whether classical or popular music would be better for you to listen to. Jeez, he was so irritating."

Clare chuckled at the memory.

"But I knew that it was because he loved you, Libby. I'm sure you don't want to hear this, but that boy was a complete mess when we found out what had happened to you. It really hit him hard. I've never seen him like that. It was genuinely frightening—"

"I'm so sorry, Clare," Libby gushed suddenly, no longer able to remain silent. "I swear I never meant to hurt myself. I don't know why I was so stupid. I was angry, I guess. If I'd have known what would happen… if I’d had any idea what we’d all have to go through…"

"I'm sorry too," Clare said as she squeezed Libby's hand tighter. "Lib, I felt so terrible that I dismissed your problems so easily. I just hated myself afterwards for the way I let you walk out of that office when you were so upset. I should have taken the afternoon off and gone with you; said to hell to work and just been there for my best friend. I've always prioritised my work, and it was so wrong, Libby."

Libby reached out her arms, and both she and Clare cried as they held each other. They cried tears of regret and relief for having gone through hell but still come out the other side. Now they were stronger and more grateful for each other than ever before.

After a minute, Clare heard Libby mumble something into her shoulder and she listened carefully to try and catch what her friend was saying.

"Do you really think he loves me?"

Clare let out a loud laugh and pulled back so that she could look Libby square in the face. Clare rolled her eyes as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Yes, you crazy girl. Of course he loves you!"

~~~~~*~~~~~