~~~~~*~~~~~

Everyone had left, including Justin.

The apartment was quiet and dark, with only the light from underneath Clare’s door suggesting that she was awake. Libby hesitated in the doorway, sucking in a deep breath before tapping her knuckles gently against the wood.

The apartment had emptied pretty quickly after the showdown between JC and Clare. It hadn’t taken Lisa long to make her apologies and head out in search of Joey, and in the meantime Clare had slipped unnoticed into her bedroom.

Libby had kicked a protesting Justin out of the apartment—to much pouting and puppy–dog eyes—but she’d been adamant that her and Clare needed privacy to talk about what’d happened. Libby knew that Clare wouldn’t want to talk if JC’s band mate was hovering around outside.

“Clare, can I come in?” Libby asked tentatively as she rapped once again on the door.

No answer.

“Clare?”

Again, no answer.

Libby tried the handle, and finding the door unlocked she gently pushed it open and peered into the room. From the doorway she could see that Clare was lying in the middle of her bed on her side, facing towards the window with her back to the door. She was curled up into a tight foetal position, and although she was silent, Libby could see that her body was trembling and shaking with sobs.

“Clare?”

Libby stepped into the bedroom and glanced around. It’d been a while since she’d been in Clare’s room, and it seemed familiar and unfamiliar all at the same time. It took her a moment to realise why, and then her heart sank.

The trinkets, memory boxes and photo frames that were usually scattered across almost every surface were gone. The huge *NSYNC poster that Clare kept above her bed was torn, crumpled and shoved into the garbage can near the door.

The photo Clare had of her and all the members of the group was nowhere to be seen, but most importantly, every single little thing that she’d ever been given by JC was in a heap at the bottom of her bed. Ticket stubs from the times they’d gone to the cinema, Valentine and Christmas cards, jewellery. Even the white polar bear teddy that he’d once bought her as a birthday present. There were even things in the pile that Libby hadn’t seen before. Clare had meticulously searched through her entire room and removed every trace she could of JC, and the other members of the group.

Libby felt her stomach tighten. This was bad. Very bad.

“Clare?”

“You should be resting,” Clare said, her voice thickened by her tears.

Libby carefully made her way across the room and climbed onto the bed beside her friend. She shuffled closer and reached out to pull Clare into a hug. It wasn’t a particularly comfortable position, but Libby hoped that her presence alone would be enough to show how much she cared, especially as she wasn’t sure what to say.

It was at least five minutes before either of them spoke.

“You’re quitting?” Libby asked.

Clare sucked in a shaky breath. “Yes.”

Libby pondered the implications of Clare’s answer for a moment. She was trying to push aside her feelings and put herself in Clare’s position, but she couldn’t overlook the fact that Clare had made this huge decision without even mentioning it to her. It seemed so out of character, and although Libby realised that Clare had most likely been secretive to protect her, it still made her feel sad. They used to tell each other everything. When had that changed?

Libby thought about JC and Clare’s argument, trying to make sense of what she’d heard. She understood Clare’s point of view, but she couldn’t align herself with JC’s reaction. Why was he so angry and upset? What was his excuse for shouting at Clare that way? And what had he meant when he’d said that what he had to say ‘changes everything’?

Libby had a good mind to grill Justin on it when she saw him next. Surely he knew more than he was letting on?

“When are you leaving?” she asked, trying to keep the hurt out of her voice. Libby couldn’t imagine Clare not being at the Compound. It was their place. Clare was such a part of the furniture there that it wouldn’t be the same without her. Would she want to continue working there herself if Clare was gone? Surely part of the fun of working there was the having the chance to work with her best friend? Sometimes it was Clare’s company alone that made the job seem worthwhile; especially when the group were out on tour.

“Soon. I’d leave today if I could. Especially now.”

“What’s gotten into him?” Libby wondered aloud. “I’ve never seen him like that before.”

“You’ve just witnessed the real JC, that’s all,” Clare sneered bitterly.

Libby let Clare’s words linger for a moment before saying, gently, “You don’t really believe that, do you?”

Clare turned her head and narrowed her eyes at Libby over her shoulder. “You were there. You heard him. What do you think?”

Libby figured that it was probably best not to say what she really thought. “I just don’t understand why he’d behave that way if—“

“If what?”

“Well… if he’s just upset about you leaving then it seems to be a crazy overreaction for a start. Are you sure there’s nothing else going on?”

“He’s just upset that he hasn’t gotten his own way, that’s all. He wants me to sit there and listen to him unburden his conscience, but there’s no way in hell that I’m going to let that happen.”

“What do you mean ‘unburden his conscience’?”

Clare let out a frustrated huff. “He probably wants to tell me that he’s always wanted kids, and that Alyson was the person he wanted to have children with. That it’s no offence to me, but that’s just the way things go.”

Libby hesitated. Clare’s explanation didn’t sit with her at all. She had a feeling that there was much more to it than that, and that Clare’s stubborn nature was preventing her from seeing it.

“But what about the ‘changes everything’ part?” she asked.

“Those are just words. He’ll say whatever he can to get his own way.”

Libby frowned. She knew Clare was upset—understandably so—but what she’d said about JC wasn’t true. He was the last person who would manipulate others just to get his own way. Clearly Clare’s hurt and pain was blocking off the logical part of her brain. It was clear to Libby at that moment that it was up to her to get to the bottom of things, and she knew exactly who she needed to interrogate to get to the truth…

~~~~~*~~~~~

Clare stood in her office two days later packing up the last of her things, repeating to herself over and over again that she was doing the right thing. Although she'd handed in her resignation to Johnny Wright a few days ago, she still hadn't heard anything back from him, which she found a little strange. She’d assumed that he was simply bogged under—like they all were—with last minute preparations for the tour, and so she’d carried on with her plans to leave regardless.

"So today's the day you ship out and leave us high and dry, is it?" Jamie asked with a sad smile as she walked into Clare's empty office. Jamie’s eyes scanned the room for the possessions that she’d become accustomed to seeing in Clare’s office—her photo frames, personalised mug, and the little trinkets that her friends had given her over the years—but they were all neatly packed away.

Jamie let out a sigh, and crossed the room to peer into one of two cardboard boxes on Clare's desk. She reached inside and picked up the nearest framed photograph.

"Do you remember when this was taken?" she asked with a chuckle as she held the frame up for Clare to see.

"Yeah," Clare said fondly before letting out a snigger of amusement. "That was when Chris decided to find out if I could swim.”

"Which you couldn't," Jamie said. "If I remember rightly, when he saw you struggling in the water he just kept laughing."

"That's right. He couldn't stop."

"Wasn't it JC that jumped into the pool to save you?"

Clare hesitated. "Yeah."

Jamie placed the photo frame back into the box. "And Libby took the photo to preserve the memory?"

"I case I forgot my near death experience, yeah," Clare quipped dryly. "Do you remember the guys all chipped in for me to take swimming lessons after that?"

Jamie nodded, but her laughter abruptly faded. She stared at Clare debating whether to say what she was really thinking. In the end she just couldn't help herself.

"Are you making a mistake?" Jamie asked gently. It wasn’t an accusation, and she wasn’t begging, but she had to ask.

"Jamie..."

"What?"

"Don't, please," Clare said as she lifted one of the boxes and supported it against her hip. She turned to look at Jamie, her eyes glistening with tears. "I can't..."

"I've tried to be good and respect your wishes," Jamie said as she crossed the room and reached out to place a hand on Clare's shoulder. "I've tried to bite my tongue and not say anything, but I can't do it anymore."

Clare let out a defeated sigh and hung her head. She’d been expecting that someone would try to have this conversation with her at one point, and so she let Jamie continue uninterrupted.

"I just don't want to regret not asking you one more time. Isn't there a little voice inside of you that's telling you you're making a big mistake?"

Clare paused and glanced around the room. There were so many memories tied up in the building that she couldn’t deny that it gave her pause to wonder. They were a jumble of good and bad memories, but still ones that she would never forget, or at least hoped that she never would.

She'd had a chance to live her dream. She'd had a taste of what it was like on the 'other side', and she'd relished the opportunities that she'd been given along the way. But it was over now. The time had come to pay the bill, and it was a bittersweet feeling.

"Maybe," she said, "maybe one day I'll look back and wish that I'd fought harder, but I'm so tired, Jamie. I can't keep putting myself through this. I promise nothing will change. We'll still hang out and see each other all the time. Only I'll be—“

"Detached?"

"I was going to say happy.”

Jamie shrugged and Clare could tell that she wasn’t convinced. "But how will you know?” she asked. “What if you realise that you've made a mistake, and by then it's too late?"

"Then I'll suck it up and move on. That's what grown–ups do, right?"

"I guess. Although I hope it doesn't come to that."

"Me, too," Clare said with a nod of her head. She glanced around the room once again, her eyes finally settling on her empty desk. How many hours had she spent behind that thing, and now she was just walking away? What about all the work she’d done? All the stress she’d taken on? All those late nights and early mornings? What had it all been for? The room seemed so much bigger without all of her clutter messing up the place.

"Me, too,” she said again.

~~~~~*~~~~~

"I'm so bored!" Libby complained loudly as she thumped her fisted up hands down onto her bedspread. She'd been lying in bed all day, and even though Lisa had come over to give her some company, she was still feeling restless. "I have to spend all day in bed? What kind of crazy idea is that?"

Lisa grinned and glanced up from where she was sitting cross legged on the end of Libby's bed. She had one hand held out in front of her and the other clutching the brush from a bottle of bright red nail varnish.

"That's why it's called bed rest," Lisa said, "you're supposed to be letting your body heal."

"Oh, please," Libby scoffed. "My body has had six weeks to heal. I want to do something!"

Feeling rebellious, Libby lifted the corner of her duvet and slipped her legs out from underneath the covers. Her limbs still felt like quivering jelly, and it took quite a bit more concentration for her to move than it once had, but Libby could tell that she was growing stronger each day. She was gradually growing further and further away from the thin, weak person she’d been after waking from the coma.

It wasn’t just the extra sleep and good food that was having an effect on her either; mentally she felt better too.

"Oh, no, no, no!" Lisa chided as she noticed that Libby was intending to get out of bed. She held her hands out in front of her in protest, but thanks to her wet nails she was pretty helpless to stop Libby from doing anything. Desperately and in a stern voice she said, "get back in bed young lady!"

"Come on, Lisa! I'm so bored!" Libby said as she sank her toes into the plushy carpet beneath her feet. She turned and flashed Lisa a smug grin as she shifted her weight forward and prepared to stand.

"I’m under strict instructions to make sure you rest," Lisa objected. She didn't want to face Clare's wrath if she found out that Libby had been up and out of bed. Not after she'd insisted that Libby remain in her room no matter what. "Come on, Libs, you're going to get me in trouble."

Libby giggled as she lifted herself up off the bed and stood for a moment, wobbling slightly as she tried to hold her balance. Her legs were weak, but she was able to stand completely unassisted now. They might only be baby steps, but to Libby they were a monumental stride forward. "I'm not going to go off and run a marathon, Lisa," Libby teased as she glanced at Lisa's panicked face. "I just want to get out of this room. I'm going crazy staring at the same four walls."

Lisa watched in concern as Libby took a few tentative steps forward. "I promised Clare that I would make sure you stayed in bed—like you're supposed to. Do you want Clare and Justin to come after me?"

"Calm down! I'm just going to go and sit in the living room for a while. I'll still be resting. Besides, I'll deal with Clare and Justin; they know how stubborn I am, they'll understand that it wasn't your fault."

Libby turned around and grinned at Lisa as she reached the doorway. She could feel how much her reserves of energy had been drained by that small amount of effort, and she realised that walking to the living room would be pretty much all that she could manage. For now, at least.

"Hmm... I hope so," Lisa said dubiously as she stood and offered her shoulder for Libby to lean on. She supported her friend’s weight, and they giggled mischievously as they slowly made their way out of Libby's room and along the hallway.

"You're a bad influence on me, Elizabeth," Lisa chuckled.

"Pffft," Libby scoffed. "Hardly."

They made their way into the living room and settled comfortably onto the couches. Once seated, Lisa gave Libby a knowing smirk and raised an eyebrow.

"So Libs..."

"Yeah?" Libby said, her suspicions rising.

“How are things with you and Justin?"

Libby laughed and threw her hands up in the air. "I knew it! I knew that was coming!"

"What?" Lisa asked, feigning ignorance. "It's just a question."

"It's the most loaded question ever!"

“Why?” Lisa asked with a giggle. “Two of my friends have just got together, why wouldn’t I ask how things are going?”

“’Cause… ‘cause… it’s me and Justin.”

“Yeah?”

Libby blushed. “And…”

“And what, Libs? You don’t wanna talk about it?”

“No, it’s just…” Justin’s face flashed into her mind and she blushed deeper. “It feels weird talking about it. Like I’m not supposed to.”

Lisa laughed and rolled her eyes. “That’s what years of suppressed feelings do to you,” she said. “If you two had gotten your act together ages ago you wouldn’t feel like you can’t talk about it. You’ve spent so long trying not to talk about him that it now feels strange that you can.”

Libby said nothing, but hid her face behind a sofa cushion. A suppressed giggle made its way out of her mouth, and she beamed from ear to ear.

“He’s great,” she said in a whisper.

Lisa shook her head in amusement at the giddy expression on Libby’s face. “Yeah?”

Libby nodded shyly. “Yeah.” She took a deep breath and said, barely audibly, “he loves me.”

Lisa’s grin broadened, and she laughed as Libby ducked her head back into the cushion and giggled again.

“He certainly does,” Lisa said with a smile. “It’s kinda sickening actually.”

“Hey!” Libby argued as she lifted the pillow and tossed it across the room at Lisa’s head. It missed by a mile.

“Ignore me,” Lisa said as she waved a hand dismissively. “I’m only jealous. It’s been a long time since Joe’s looked at me the way Justin looks at you. Just make sure you make the most of the honeymoon period while it lasts. ‘Cause believe me, it doesn’t last long.”

Libby blushed again and wished that she hadn’t thrown her cushion away. She needed it to hide her cheeks once again. “I dunno, Justin’s a pretty romantic guy…”

“Oh, yeah?” Lisa asked with a smirk. “Is he now?”

Libby tried to fight it but an unstoppable grin spread across her face. “He bought me roses yesterday, and then said that he needed a kiss for every petal."

Lisa sniggered at the dreamy look that crossed Libby's face. "What a cheese–ball."

"He's not!" Libby said, feeling the need to defend Justin. "He's sweet, lovely and he cares about me."

"Sounds like he just wants lots of kisses," Lisa teased.

"Believe me, he's gonna get 'em. It's keeping my hands off him that's the problem."

"So you're happy?" Lisa asked.

"So happy," Libby replied honestly, and at once the grin was back. "I never thought I'd get to be this happy. I never thought he'd actually like me back."

Lisa flashed her an indulgent smile and rolled her eyes once again. "Oh, Libby, you do crack me up."

~~~~~*~~~~~

“Hey.”

“Hey, sweetie,” Justin said over the muffled reception on his phone. For some reason he’d been getting a bad signal lately, and it was beginning to get on his nerves. He hoped he’d be able to sort it out before leaving on tour or else he’d have a problem on his hands. “What you doin’?”

“Same ol’ nothing,” Libby muttered as she scowled at the ceiling. “Lisa just left so I’m home alone.”

“I’ll be over later. Got some stuff to finish up first and then I’ll be around.”

“Good, there’s something I wanna talk to you about.”

Libby heard him hesitate, and when he spoke his voice sounded off. “Yeah?”

“Not about us,” Libby said with a chuckle, and she heard him let out a small sigh of relief which made her smile. “About Clare… and JC.”

“And you wanna do this over the phone?”

“No, that’s why I was wondering when you’ll be over. I was hoping we could go somewhere to talk about it.”

“’Go somewhere to talk about it’,” he repeated. “Go somewhere?”

“Well, yeah,” Libby said. “We can’t talk about it here ‘cause Clare will be home soon.”

“But…”

“Don’t even say what you’re thinking of saying,” Libby warned him. “I’m supposed to be building up my stamina.”

“Yeah, slowly.”

“Going to the beach counts as slowly. It’s only a few minutes’ walk away.”

“That sounds like a really bad idea, Libs.”

“Really? The idea of going to watch the sunset with me is a bad idea, is it?”

“That’s not what I mean. I’m happy to drive us to the beach to watch the sunset, and then drive you home.”

Libby considered his suggestion. It did sound slightly more practical. “Hmm, okay. That might work.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Okay, pick me up when you’re done?”

“You got it, babe.”

~~~~~*~~~~~

"What are you doing out of bed?" Clare said moodily as she walked into the apartment to find Libby sitting on the couch in the living room.

"I got bored," Libby replied, shrugging nonchalantly. “Besides, J’s coming to pick me up soon.”

"’Pick me up?’” Clare repeated as she narrowed her eyes. “Libby…” She was supposed to be resting and she bloody well knew it. As did Justin.

What?" Libby asked, dropping her hands noisily into her lap. "Why can’t I go out?”

"Because the only reason you were allowed to come home was because you promised to take it easy! You’re supposed to be confined to your room, not going places with Justin!”

"Come on, Clare. I only have a week left to spend time with him before he leaves on tour. Would you wanna be confined to your room?"

"Eurgh, I’m too tired to argue with you…" Clare groaned, sinking into the closet chair across from Libby and placing a hand over her eyes.

Libby watched her for a moment before asking, tentatively, “How did today go?”

Despite several conversations where she’d tried to convince Clare to change her mind about leaving, Libby had been unable to make any progress. And now the time had run out and Clare’s last day at the Compound had come and gone.

"Pretty rough," Clare admitted with a sigh. "A lot harder than I thought, actually."

"Did you see anyone to say good–bye?"

Clare removed her hand and met Libby’s eyes. She knew exactly the question that Libby was skirting around. "Jamie and Sara popped by,” she said, “but if you mean the guys, then no."

"That's weird. I would've thought they'd make at least one more attempt to get you to stay. Especially Chris."

"Yeah, so did I actually.”

"Maybe they're maturing?" Libby said with a snigger. Considering the group behaved like a bunch of kids most of the time, the idea was pretty amusing.

"That'll be the day," Clare remarked with an attempt at a grin. "I think we'll be waiting a long time for that, I'm afraid."

Libby laughed but it didn’t reach her eyes. “Don’t you think that’s a little weird though?” she asked. “I mean, given the fact you’re so close to the group? Isn’t it weird that none of them came to say bye. Not even Lance?”

It was a given fact that Lance was the most gentlemanly, sensitive member of the group. His pleasant nature and polite values meant he found it very hard not to do the right thing, or at least what was expected by society.

Clare shrugged but Libby could tell that she was more upset than she was letting on. “I guess they were busy?”

No excuse, Libby thought to herself. She would definitely be talking to Justin about this…

“So what are your plans now?” Libby asked trying her best to keep her voice upbeat. There would be serious consequences for the pair of them if Clare remained unemployed for long. Even with Libby on paid sick leave from work, the two women were reliant on Clare’s income to be able to keep on top of their bills, and remain in their apartment. Clare quitting her job put pressure on both of their shoulders.

Clare let out a deep sigh and met Libby’s eyes. Libby could see the tension written all over her friend’s face and she wondered if making plans with Justin had been a mistake. Clare probably had a lot that she needed to get off her chest, and Libby wondered if she should stay at home so that Clare had someone to talk to.  

“More interviews,” Clare said, her voice empty of enthusiasm. She’d already attended three interviews in the local area—nothing specific, just any work that was available until she could work out her next career move—but she’d yet to hear anything back. With the amount of people living and working in and around Orlando, it was usual to expect a call back the same day if a job offer was imminent. Clare was trying her best not to let it knock her confidence.

Libby nodded. “You’ll find something,” she said confidently.

Clare raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Her look said it all. Don’t count on it.

“Did you hear back from Johnny at all?” Libby asked, remembering Clare’s earlier mention that she still hadn’t received a copy of her pink slip. Johnny was such an organised boss that the fact that Clare had heard nothing from him was strange. It also threw a spanner in the works of Clare’s plans—she couldn’t officially take employment elsewhere until she’d tied up all the loose ends with the label.

“Nope. Still nothing.”

“That’s really weird,” Libby muttered as she heard the sound of footsteps approaching the front door. “That’ll be J,” she said at exactly the same moment the doorbell rang. Libby lifted herself out of her seat and tried to keep the giddy grin off her face. It didn’t seem appropriate to be grinning like a goof while Clare was going through such a hard time.

“Where are the two of you goin’?” Clare asked as she watched Libby make her way to the front door. There was no point in trying to convince her to stay home, Clare decided, but she’d have Justin’s head if anything happened to her whilst she was out.

Libby glanced over her shoulder at Clare as she opened the door. “Beach,” she said simply and turned to grin at Justin.

“Hey,” he said as he stepped into the apartment. He quickly gripped Libby around the waist and lifted her off her feet before crushing his mouth to hers. Libby squealed and giggled until he put her down.

Justin’s eyes left Libby momentarily to glance into the living room, where Libby’s attention seemed to be divided between him and something, or someone, else. He grinned bashfully as he noticed Clare sitting in the easy chair trying her best to remain inconspicuous.

“Sorry, Gid,” he said. “Didn’t see you there.”

Clare rolled her eyes. “No need to apologise,” she said, “You guys just forget I’m here.” She let out a huff and said, under her breath, “should be easy enough.”

Justin turned to Libby and shrugged. Although he knew he probably should make more effort, he decided to cut his losses and not ask. He hadn’t forgotten the promise he’d just made to Joey, after all…

“You ready to go?” He asked Libby as he reached for her hand and laced his fingers through hers. Although it could only have been a maximum of fifteen hours since he’d seen her last, to Justin it’d felt a lot longer.

“I certainly am,” she said, beaming at him. “I can’t wait to get out of here!”

“You’ve got a coat?” he asked as he gave her a quick once over. It might well be the last week in July, but down at the beach there could often be a slight chill felt off the water. He wasn’t about to let Libby get cold any time soon. Justin felt it his duty to make sure that she were sensible about her limitations, even if it didn’t always make him Mr. Popular.

“Coat?” Libby scoffed as she took a step towards the door and tugged on his hand to get him to follow.

“Libby!” Both Justin and Clare rebuked at the same time causing Libby to roll her eyes and Justin and Clare to flash each other a knowing, amused smirk. Finally, something they did agree on.

“Fine! I’ll get a coat, sheesh!” Libby complained with a huff as she stomped up the hallway towards her room to find a warm layer to wear. She really hated it when Justin and Clare ganged up on her, but she figured that she’d probably have to get used to it.

There was an awkward silence as Justin waited for Libby to return, and Clare tried to find something to say that had nothing to do with work, JC, *NSYNC or anything else contentious. Eventually, it was Justin who broke the ice.

“How did it go today?”

Clare met his eyes and chewed down on her bottom lip to stop herself from showing how hurt she really was that none of the group had come to see her off. She’d been working there for almost two years, for goodness sakes. She’d thought that they were her friends. Of course she hadn’t expected JC to show his face—he would’ve known better—but none of the others? Not even Justin? Couldn’t he have shown his face just to offer her a bit of support or a friendly face on behalf of the group?

It had hurt.

A lot.

“Fine,” Clare lied, turning her head away and blinking rapidly to clear the tears from her eyes. Fortunately, before Justin had a chance to say anything else, Libby was back.

“Will this do?” Libby asked sarcastically as she lifted her parka jacket up to his face so that he could examine it and give his seal of approval. Justin made a big show of checking the coat and finally grinned at her, reaching in to place a soft kiss against her lips.

“Fine,” he said, “but if not, I’ve got a spare hoodie in the car, just in case.”

Libby playfully scowled at him. Of course he has.

“You know, I think you’ve got a thing for me wearing your clothes,” she teased, and Justin snorted a laugh and winked.

“You got that right,” he said gruffly before reaching out to pinch her around the waist. Libby stifled a shriek and glanced over at Clare.

“Don’t wait up!” she grinned causing Clare to narrow her eyes.

“I will wait up, because you’ll only be gone an hour, right?”

Libby’s shoulders slumped, and she stuck out her bottom lip as Justin hovered awkwardly by her side. “Clare…”

“I wasn’t talking to you,” Clare said, “right, Justin?” She turned and fixed him with her famous no–nonsense stare.

“Libby’s safe with me.”

“Again, not what I asked. You’ll be back in an hour, or—“

“Fine!” Libby said, throwing her hands in the air in exasperation before grasping Justin’s hand in hers once again and rushing towards the door. “We’ll be back in an hour. Spoil sport.”

“It’s for your own good! Have fun!” Clare called after them but she couldn’t tell if they’d heard before the door closed behind them.

~~~~~*~~~~~

"Are you cold?" Justin asked Libby as he turned to her for what felt like the hundredth time and eyed the goose pimples that were forming on her arms and bare shoulders. They were sitting on the sand watching the sun set, but Justin couldn't get out of nurse mode.

"Nope," Libby assured him again.

"Are you sure? 'Cause we can go if—"

"J," Libby said, turning her eyes away from the dazzling display of nature to look at him. The pink light washed over the side of his face, and she could see shades of coral and amber reflected in his eyes. "Stop worrying, I'm fine!"

Justin nodded and was silent for a few minutes as Libby turned back to watch the sunset. He wriggled around on the sand to get comfortable before glancing at her once again. "Are you sure? 'Cause like I said, I could go and get a blanket from the car... or you could put on the coat?" He lifted the parka from where it was lying next to them on the sand and waved it at her encouragingly.

Libby tried her best not to roll her eyes. She knew that she should expect such protective behaviour from him after what had happened, but she hated the feeling of being wrapping in cotton wool by him. Or anyone, for that matter.

"J..." she said again, "I'm okay, honestly."

"But you'd tell me if you weren't, wouldn't you?"

Libby smiled fondly at him. "Yes, of course I would." She reached out and took one of his hands in hers before giving it a reassuring squeeze. "You don't have to worry about me, okay? I'm not going to break… or turn into an iceberg."

“I know, I just…”

Libby watched the expression change on his face and her smile faded. She hated that look, and she felt momentarily bad for teasing him when he was so obviously trying to take care of her. “What?” she asked him gently. “What’s wrong, Justin?”

Justin. He’d become so used to her calling him ‘J’ that her use of his real name seemed odd. Like when he’d been in trouble as a child and his mom had used his full name to reprimand him. There was something serious about Libby calling him Justin.

He turned and met her eyes before reaching out a hand to cup her cheek. Libby’s worried face softened and her eyes closed momentarily at the feel of his warm palm against her skin.

Justin sucked in a deep breath and let it out in an elongated sigh. “I dunno…” he said, “I guess I just don’t wanna make the same mistakes I’ve made before.”

“What do you mean?”

He took a minute to gather his thoughts before he answered. “I could’ve done a lot more to keep you safe before. I should’ve told Clare about you taking climbing lessons—she’s made that pretty clear. I should’ve made sure that you didn’t go to collect your results alone. I should’ve checked in on you straight after your arrival at the Compound, instead of leaving it several hours. I should’ve called you that night to check on you and not waited until the morning.”

“J…” Libby mumbled, but Justin wasn’t finished. His eyes flicked down to their linked fingers and his thumb started making patterns across her skin.

“Nah, I’m serious. I can’t seem to stop going over all the things I should’ve done to keep you safe.”

“But it wasn’t your responsibility to keep me safe,” she said. “Those things you say you should’ve done? Who’s to say any of those things would’ve made a difference in the long run? Maybe this was meant to happen this way.”

Justin’s brow furrowed.

“I mean it,” Libby said as she read his expression. “Yes, we can all look back and see the things we should’ve done differently—no one more so than me—but here we are. It happened…”

Justin opened his mouth to interrupt, but Libby silenced him with a look.

“But then we happened,” she said softly, reaching out with her spare hand to stroke his chin affectionately. At her touch, Justin’s eyes brightened, and the spark that had become hidden behind the clouds of his guilt reappeared. “I am so happy that we are here now. It’s so easy to forget all the bad things that have happened when I’m with you.”

“Really?” he asked, a hint of doubt evident in his voice. He wasn’t finding it easy to put it all behind him, even though he was trying really hard. He didn’t want to live in the past either, but the wounds were still so fresh. Perhaps it was because of the tour looming in the distance, or the fact that he still couldn’t quite believe his luck, but either way his stomach was in knots over Libby, and it wasn’t just new relationship nerves.

“Okay, so sometimes it’s kinda terrifying to think about what happened…” Libby said, her voice breaking slightly as she allowed herself a moment to look back over the past few weeks. She blinked away the tears that had automatically filled her eyes, and tried not to make eye contact with Justin. She couldn’t bear to see the inevitable look of torture that appeared on his face whenever her ‘everything is fine’ veneer broke. “…but I have so much to be thankful for. Yes, it was a terrible time, but that’s all behind me now. Behind us now. Don’t let the past ruin our beautiful future, baby.”

Justin stared at her, his blue eyes wide and searching, then he reached forward and kissed her. It was a kiss right out of a movie; the type that set your heart racing and your legs to jelly. When he pulled away he rested his forehead against hers and said, in a soft voice, “I love you.”

Libby beamed. “I love you, too.” She giggled suddenly as she remembered back to her real reason for wanting to go to the beach with him. Other than to lie in his arms and watch the sunset, that is. “But I’m kinda mad at you, too…” she said, pretending to be annoyed.

Justin sat back and stared at her with the expression she knew meant that he was trying to decipher whether she was serious or not. She was, only a little, but she wasn’t going to tell him that.  

“Why?”

Libby considered making him try to guess, but it seemed a little mean.

“Because it was Clare’s last day today, and you didn’t stop by to see her. And by ‘you’ I mean any of you.”

Justin cleared his throat and avoided her eyes for a millisecond. Anyone else might have missed the significance of this action, but not Libby. She searched his face with her eyes and when he accidentally made eye contact, she narrowed hers.

“You’re up to something!” she announced suspiciously, and when his mouth dropped open and his eyes widened in surprise, she knew for sure. “Justin, you’re up to something! What is it?”

“I haven’t said anything!” he said in a slightly higher voice than usual. A classic giveaway.

“What have you done?”

“Nothin’!” he squeaked.

“You’re totally up to something; it’s written all over your face. What is it?”

Justin regarded her for a moment, and then finally he let out a sigh and his shoulders slumped. “Fine,” he said, letting out a huff. “I guess you’d find out eventually anyway.”

“Find out what?”

Justin shuffled around on the sand to get comfortable before reaching out and tossing an arm around her shoulders. He pulled her gently against him, and she nestled into his embrace. It would be a long story, and they might as well be comfortable while he told it.

“No matter what, you are not to say anything, understood?”

Libby hesitated. She’d rather not make any promises until she knew more.

“And I mean anything,” Justin repeated. “They’d have my head if it got out, and I’m not even joking. There’s a lot resting on this.”

“Is it safe for me to promise something like that?” Libby asked warily. She met his eyes and sucked her bottom lip into her mouth.

“Yeah, baby,” Justin said flashing her a brief grin. “I’ve got you, it’s fine.”

“Okay then, tell me.”

“You haven’t promised…”

“I was hoping you wouldn’t have noticed,” Libby giggled.

“I did,” Justin chuckled and raised his eyebrow, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “So you promise?”

“Yes, okay. Now tell me…”

~~~~~*~~~~~