~~~~~*~~~~~

Lisa woke at the first sign of dawn coming through the window in her hotel room. She'd had a fretful night, and had only managed to get a few hours’ sleep. Her anxiety over the pregnancy test had refused to let her mind rest even for a minute, and when she’d slept her dreams had been dark and unsettling.

Sara had agreed to switch rooms temporarily so that Joey could spend the night with Lisa, and Lisa had been grateful for Sara’s understanding. It was uncomfortable enough that her friend knew all about her situation without having to discuss their plans in front of her. Lisa still didn't know how she felt about being pregnant; it was still too much of a shock to fully absorb.

She'd sat up for most of the night with Joey discussing their ideas about how to go forward, but Lisa was acutely aware that he’d been holding back a lot of his personal feelings until she revealed how she felt. It was sweet of him, but only really added to her concerns. It wasn’t that Lisa wanted him to tell her what to do, but she needed to know what he was thinking regardless of how she felt.

But how did she feel? She hadn't even found a way to answer his proposal yet, let alone consider how children would fit into their lives. Here she was, about three thousand miles away from home, practically living out of a suitcase, and now she had to make a life changing decision on practically no sleep? And if she did make a decision, what should she do next? She was in a foreign country after all; would a doctor even agree to see her, or would she have to go home?

Lisa had always known that she'd want children someday, but now wasn’t a good time. How could she finish her degree and get a job as an architect—her life’s dream—with a baby on her hip? Not to mention that Joey would be absent for months on end, especially if the group continued in their success. In fact, if things picked up she might see him even less. Could she handle being left at home with a baby? Could she be contented as a stay at home mom? Her family lived out of state, so it wasn’t as if she could count on them for help and support either, and childcare was so expensive…

Not to mention the headache she'd receive from her grandparents, who were very traditional and would’ve expected her to be married before she had any children of her own. How would it look if she married him because she was knocked up? Suddenly she wished that she’d not been so proud and delayed answering his proposal. At least if they were engaged people might not be so quick to judge.  

Lisa yawned, and wiped the sleep from her eyes before turning over to look at Joey. He was sitting on the edge of Sara's bed staring at her, and from the tiredness in his eyes and the bags under them Lisa could tell that he’d been sitting there for a while, if not most of the night.

"Mornin'," he said with an attempt at a weak smile causing Lisa to try her best to smile back.  Neither of them reached their eyes. "Did you sleep?"

"Not really," Lisa said as she supported the side of her face with her palm. "You?"

"On and off."

Lisa nodded before grimacing at the worry lines that seemed to have appeared on his brow overnight. She knew she was the reason they were there. "I'm sorry, Joe, you've gotta perform tonight and you must be shattered."

"It doesn't matter about me. I'm more worried about you."

"I just don't know what to do,” she said, her voice wobbling slightly. “I didn't expect to ever have to think about this."

A fleeting look of hurt crossed Joey’s face which Lisa was quick to notice. Realising that he’d probably misunderstood her words, she felt the need to explain.

"What I mean is that I always thought that kids would turn up at the right time, you know? That I'd be settled in my career, probably married and with a home of my own. Not like this. Not in the middle of me getting started in my career, and in the middle of studying."

Joey listened silently and nodded along, but Lisa could tell that he wasn't quite in agreement with her. He came from a big family, and so he’d probably expected to be surrounded by kids and grandkids someday. But surely even he’d agree that now wasn't the best time?

"You want this baby, don't you?" she asked him abruptly causing Joey’s eyebrows to shoot up in surprise.

"Like I said last night,” he said calmly, “I'll support you with whatever decision you make."

"But I want to hear what you think,” Lisa said sharply in reply. “This has to be our decision, Joe. I can't just go ahead with what I want and have you judging me for the rest of our lives."

"That won't happen, Lis. This is a life changing thing for you—for both of us—but it's your career and body that will change. I would never judge you."

"I would," Lisa answered, and a tear slipped from her eye and ran down her cheek. "I’ve always looked down on people who get pregnant accidentally. I thought they were selfish and cruel to choose their own lives over a child, but now that it's happened to me I feel so confused. I wish I could just go back in time and stop this from happening."

"I know, baby," Joey said as he crossed the distance between them and pulled Lisa into his arms. "But maybe this has happened for a reason? You never know."

Lisa sniffed and glanced up at him with wide, watery eyes. "I love you, Joe,” she said emphatically. “You know that, right?” Again the guilt over his unanswered proposal began to eat away at her.

"I love you too,” he replied as he gave her body a squeeze, “and no matter what we will get through this. Together."

~~~~~*~~~~~

"What are you doing?" Clare asked as she walked from the bathroom to the bedroom to find Libby lying on her back on her bed with a pillow held over her face, groaning aloud. When Libby didn't respond straight away, Clare crossed the room and removed the pillow before repeating her question once again.

"My head..." Libby moaned as she reached out to grasp the pillow from Clare's hands and pull it back over her face.

"Another headache?"

"Uh-huh."

"Lib, these headaches are starting to scare me. I really think you need to see a doctor."

"Mhhnn…" Libby grunted in response, her voice muffled by the pillow. She lifted it slightly so that she could say, clearly, "you're as bad as Justin."

"That's because we’re worried about you. We don’t like seeing you in pain.”

“I can handle it,” Libby mumbled, removing the pillow slowly and peering at Clare through partly opened lids. “I just need to take—“

“Some more Tylenol?” Clare interrupted, her voice tinged with sarcasm. “You know, I’ve been hearing that a lot lately.”

“I’m handling it…”

"But you're not handling it, Libby. Look, you don't have to pretend around me. I know you are trying to protect Justin from this, but you can be honest with me. Are you sure that you don't want to just go home?"

"What?" Libby asked, her forehead creasing into a frown. "Of course not. Why would you think that?"

Clare hesitated, unsure of how to proceed. “I just thought that maybe you’d started to realise that you’d be better off at home. I mean, you’ve only been up and about for a few weeks; you can’t expect to maintain this hectic schedule for long. It’s okay to admit if you want to go home.”

"And do what?” Libby snapped back. “Sit around and wait for everyone to come home? You really think being at home by myself would be better for me? Feeling miserable and lonely?"

“You wouldn’t be lonely,” Clare argued, her heckles rising. “I’d go with you, and it’d be better than trying to pretend that everything is okay when it clearly isn’t.”

“So because you want to go home you’re trying to convince me that I should, too? Clare, I just got together with Justin. The last thing I want is to be three thousand miles away from him.”

"So you're doing this just for him? You're putting him above your health?"

Libby groaned aloud and wrapped her arms across her face to block out the light. She really didn't want to fight with Clare, especially not with a roaring headache. “No, of course not. But I’m not going home. If everyone would just get off my back and let me handle it…”

“By taking more and more painkillers each day? Libby, we share a bathroom; I can see how many blisters you’ve already gone through. There’s no way that is a healthy amount of medication to be taking.”

“I had a brain injury,” Libby reminded her curtly. “They clearly gave me that much medication for a reason. Someone obviously expected me to need to use it.”

Clare let out a huff of frustration; she wasn’t at all convinced by Libby’s words. She just didn’t seem to be getting through to her friend, and she only seemed to be annoying them both with her attempts.

“Well, I still think that you should go see a doctor. Even if it is just to be told that everything’s okay.” Even though it probably isn’t, Clare thought moodily.

“Fine. Thank you, your concerns have been noted,” Libby replied sarcastically. “Now can I please go back to sleep?”

~~~~~*~~~~~
"What’s this I hear about a modelling job?" Jamie asked Sara as they sat down together in the hotel’s restaurant to eat their breakfast.

Sara flashed a smile before popping a cube of ripe melon in her mouth. "News travels pretty fast around here, doesn’t it!” she said before chewing. She'd only casually mentioned the news to a few members of the group to sound out their opinions on her leaving the tour, but Jamie finding out suggested that the cat was fully out of the bag. Surprisingly, Sara wasn't that bothered. “Jason has managed to find me a small job on his next gig, and since it’s kinda a foot in the door I’ve decided to go for it.”

Jamie nodded and smiled—she already knew that part. "Congratulations! I'm surprised to hear that you wanna leave so soon and all though."

"I know, but it's kind of now or never scenario. If I don't take this opportunity they may never offer again, and as much as I obviously love working with the group, they know the choreography well enough. They don't need me to be here."

"Well if it's what you want then I'm really pleased for you," Jamie said as she took a mouthful of her own food. She tilted her head and met Sara's eyes before adding, "of course, we'll all miss you."

"I'll miss you all, too."

"When are you leaving?"

"Probably when we get to Liverpool. I've actually arranged for my college friend, Kat, to take over for me temporarily. She's agreed to fly out and meet us there."

"That's cool. So how does Nick feel about his girlfriend becoming a famous model?"

Sara snorted in amusement. "It's just a small job, Jam. But I think he's pretty excited for me. He's actually planning to fly out to meet us in London. We thought it might be a good time to meet up before I fly to Italy."

"Ah, bless him. What a sweetheart."

"Yeah, it'll be nice to see each other. Feels like it has been ages."

~~~~~*~~~~~

"Breakfast?" JC asked as he appeared around the open doorway of Clare and Libby's room and tapped tentatively on the wooden door. Clare glanced up and flashed him a smile from where she lay on her bed reading.

"Sure."

Clare sat upright and glanced across the room at the human shaped lump buried under the covers of Libby's bed before letting out a sigh. "She's asleep," she explained to JC as he met her eyes and raised a questioning eyebrow. "She took some more pills a half an hour ago and they seem to have finally kicked in."

"Is she doing okay?" JC asked as he and Clare quietly made their way out of the room and headed along the corridors of the hotel towards the elevator. As they waited for the cab to arrive at their floor, Clare filled him in on her concerns for Libby's health.

"I'm quite worried," she said. "She won't admit it, but something's not right."

"Headaches?"

"Yeah, bad ones. She thinks she's concealing it from me and Justin, but I know something's wrong. She's started being sick, and she's constantly popping pills. I keep finding empty packets hidden away in the bathroom. She refuses to let me take her to a doctor, and tells me off for fussing. It's really frustrating."

"She never has liked being told what to do," JC reminded her gently.

"I know, but there's a difference between being stubborn and being strong. She knows deep down that something's not right, but she's just burying her head in the sand. I kinda hoped that Justin might have had more of an influence over her," she shook her head at the thought and continued, her voice dripping in sarcasm, "but I guess not."

JC snorted with amusement. As if Libby would be happier taking orders from Justin than from her oldest friend. No doubt she’d have some choice words for them both. "She's a stubborn one," he admitted with a smile.

"Yeah, I just hope she comes to her senses soon,” Clare said sadly. She met JC’s eyes as the elevator door opened and not for the first time he saw the concern Clare felt for Libby in her eyes.

"Keep at it," he told her as they took a step forward into the car. He reached out and placed a comforting arm around her shoulder and gave her a slight squeeze. For once, Clare didn’t object and allowed him to keep his arm there until the doors closed behind them. "She'll come around,” he said. “You'll see."

~~~~~*~~~~~

"Libs?"

Justin lifted the corner of Libby's duvet and tried to peek in to see her face which was completely hidden from his view. As the sunlight began to filter in through the opening in her cocoon, Libby groaned and rolled over onto her other side to escape the light. "Wha?" she mumbled sleepily.

"Are you getting up soon?" Justin asked hopefully as he crouched down beside her bed. He was fully dressed and had his key card and wallet with him in eagerness to leave the hotel, but he’d been surprised to find that Libby hadn’t been waiting for him in the restaurant downstairs as they’d planned. After some careful deducting, he’d decided to look for her in her room and had been disheartened to find her still in bed.

Libby hesitated for a moment, and then in a croaky voice said, "no."

"No? Just no? 'cause I thought we we’re going to go get some lunch together and hang out for a bit. I haven’t got to be anywhere till this afternoon, remember?”

"Lunch?" Libby repeated to herself, already becoming more alert at the mention of the word.

"Yeah, or something else if you’d like." He raised his wrist and glanced down at his watch. "We’ve got till three if we want to do something." He regarded her once again and felt his hopes subside. “Or not…”

Libby considered this for a moment before flipping back over and lifting her eyes to meet his. Her grin said it all, and although she was still in pain, she was determined that it wasn’t going to stop her spending time with her boyfriend. Alone. At last.

"Just you and me?"

"Just you and me," Justin repeated. "Whaddya say?"

~~~~~*~~~~~

"Marmite and toast, really?" JC sniggered as Clare prepared to tuck into her breakfast. She glanced up at him through her lashes and tilted her head slightly to the side. Even his eyes were laughing at her.

"What's wrong with that?" She asked him, a barely suppressed giggle evident in her voice. JC immediately grinned at the sound. It'd been so long since he'd heard her laugh, and even longer since he'd been the cause of it that the sound filled him with a flush of happiness. It was early days, but they were already on track to becoming the fast friends they'd been before.

"It just doesn't look... edible," he said with a sneer at her food. "I can't imagine anyone wanting to eat that." Despite not wanting to offend her, his nose crinkled in disgust. To him even the smell was unappetising.

"That's because you're American. Us Brits eat this all the time when we get the chance."

"Is that right?" JC sniggered.

"Absolutely. Plus it's delicious."

"I sincerely doubt that," JC said with a laugh.

Silently, Clare picked up the slice of toast from her plate, and being careful not to get butter or Marmite on her sleeve, she tore off a corner and held it out across the table to him. "Here," she said, giving her hand a slight shake to encourage him. "Try it."

JC snorted at the idea. "Er, no thank you."

"Come on," Clare said with a roll of her eyes. "You call yourself adventurous and yet you won't try a local delicacy?"

"I've never said I was adventurous," he said, deadpan.

"Just try it, you might like it," Clare said with another shake of her hand.

"Or it might make me sick, and I'll have you to thank."

"It won't make you sick," Clare chastised him, "But if you're too much of a wuss to try it then suit yourself." Clare pulled her hand away and pouted playfully, knowing all too well how easy it was for her to manipulate JC with her most forlorn expression. She dropped the unwanted piece of toast onto her plate and stared at it sadly before batting her eyes at him. She'd missed being able to tease him like this. "I thought you might want to try it, but it's fine if you don't..."

"Alright,” he relented at last, “give me the damn toast!"

"Ha ha!" Clare chuckled, her face brightening instantly, "you're going to love it. Trust me."

~~~~~*~~~~~

"So we're just going to wait and see then?" Joey asked Lisa as they sat on a bed in his and Chris' hotel room and picked at their slowly cooling breakfast, which neither of them had particularly wanted. Joey had insisted that they order room service, although it had been more to do with him having something to do than through any real feelings of hunger. He doubted if he'd be able to eat anything again until the baby situation was resolved—his stomach was filled with anxious butterflies. 

Lisa had been grateful for Joey's understanding about her wanting to hide in his room for as long as possible. Her female friends knew her too well to not become suspicious if they saw the dried tear stains on her cheeks, or her swollen, red eyes. They'd no doubt interrogate her immediately, and she just wasn't ready for that. She wasn’t sure if she’d ever be ready for that. For now hiding away seemed to be the best option.

Only Sara knew what was going on, and she'd been sworn to secrecy which Lisa knew she would never break. Until her and Joey had made a decision on what they were going to do next, Lisa didn't want the news to spread any further.

"I guess..." Lisa replied wearily as she stared back at him. Her eyes were red-rimmed and her face pale after a sleepless night of tossing and turning. "I'm not sure I can even think straight right now."

"I'm sure we have time, Lis. You can't be that far along."

Lisa pulled a face. It’d been that very thought that had kept her awake all night. If she was pregnant, then when had she fallen pregnant? Could it really have been all those months ago when she'd first started feeling unwell? Had the sickness that she'd put down to a virus really been morning sickness? The thought made her heart race in her chest. If that were true, she could already be around eight weeks pregnant. Eight weeks!

Seeing Joey's panicked face and realising that once again she'd been internally monologuing her thoughts rather than speaking them aloud, Lisa said, "I don't know." She started to do the math in her head. "I started feeling unwell in early June, but then I haven't skipped a period in all that time... and I took a pregnancy test at the doctors which was negative..."

"So what does that mean?" Joey asked in a panic.

Lisa met his eyes and swallowed hard. "If it was a false negative, then I could have been pregnant all that time. I could have become pregnant in June."

Lisa watched the shock appear across Joey's face, and his eyes dropped immediately to the heavily patterned carpet. June. Shit.

"I didn't have any symptoms other than the sickness," Lisa said, her voice taking on a slightly hysterical tone. "I was feeling weak and tired a lot, but everyone feels crappy when they're being sick all the time. Plus, I'd done all that travelling for college... I just assumed that I'd picked up something on the road."

"But it could have been that sickness women get... you know, the pregnancy sickness thing."

"Morning sickness,” Lisa corrected him.

"Yeah. That"

Lisa inhaled a deep breath through her nose and let it out slowly. "Yeah, it could," she said after a pause. She met his eyes once again. "I swear, Joe. I didn't even consider the fact that I could've been pregnant. It was just too crazy to even consider. I mean, we're so careful..."

Joey nodded, but said nothing. His mind was too occupied with the thought of her already being eight weeks pregnant. Eight weeks! He didn't know very much about pregnancy or babies, but he was pretty sure that eight weeks was pretty far along. Especially to just be finding out that they were expecting.

"I think we should do another test," he said suddenly causing Lisa to jump slightly at the sound of his voice. She'd once again been consumed by her own thoughts and had almost forgotten that he was there. She met his eyes and raised her eyebrows. "We need to know for sure,” he said.”

"I agree," Lisa replied in a small voice. "There's no point panicking if there isn't a reason to panic. And if there is..."

"At least we'll know for sure. And then we can take it from there."

~~~~~*~~~~~