~~~~~*~~~~~

“So what's first on the agenda?” Justin asked Jamie as the bus came to a stop. He’d made his way to the front of the bus, where Jamie was chatting amiably to the driver, and stood peering over her shoulder at the schedule she was holding in her hands.

“Radio interview,” she said.

Clare twisted around in her booth seat and looked out of the window at the hordes of people who had gathered outside the radio station building. Like back home in America, most of the fans were holding posters or merchandise that they were hoping the guys of *NSYNC would stop to sign. Some even held cameras in the hopes of getting a photo.

“Who has the pleasure of fighting their way through that crowd?” Clare asked, smirking as the sound of screaming intensified.

“That would be me,” Jamie said as she met Clare's eyes. Her face revealed how happy she was about this fact—not very.

“Yep, everyone else gets to wait here for their return,” Sara said as she, too, looked out at the bustling crowd. “Or die of boredom, whichever comes first."

Clare turned to Sara with a look of horror on her face. “Do you do this a lot?”

“No," Sara said, letting out a relieved sigh. "I'm not required for these parts. Usually I travel ahead and kill some time in the hotel gym. The guys only need me during rehearsals and sound checks."

"Oh, what joy life on the road is!”

"You said it, sis.”

~~~~~*~~~~~

“I am so bored!” Lisa complained loudly not thirty minutes after the members of *NSYNC and Jamie had left the bus.

The women had gathered in the small room at the back of the bus—including Libby, who had returned from her nap—and although they had a plethora of magazines and DVD's to choose from, none of them could make a decision on what to do.

Clare sat channel hopping, trying to find a Friends episode to watch as Libby flicked carelessly through one of the magazines.

“Find something to do then,” Libby told Lisa irritably. Although her nap had given her some relief from her headache she still had a dull, throbbing pain behind her eyes that certainly wasn't helping to lighten her mood. Lisa’s whining wasn’t helping either.

"Like what?” Lisa asked with a huff. “I packed everything into my suitcase thinking that it would be easier. I literally have nothing until we get to the hotel.”

"Do you wanna look through the channels?" Clare asked as she held the remote out to Lisa who shook her head in reply.

"Thanks, but no. I'll take your word for it that there's nothing on."

"There really isn't! I don't remember TV being this lame back in the day. Do you, Libs?"

Libby shrugged and kept her eyes fixed on her magazine.

"Gah!” Lisa exclaimed as she flopped down into the spare seat beside Clare. “How long do radio interviews go on for anyway?"

Sara shrugged her shoulders. "It depends,” she said. "Ten minutes, half an hour, an hour..."

“An hour!?” Lisa gawped, her eyes wide and her mouth partially open. “What the hell?”

~~~~~*~~~~~

An hour and a half later, the members of *NSYNC—accompanied by their security team and Jamie—made their way out of the radio station building to a deafening chorus of screams.  Hearing the cacophony outside, Clare, Sara, Libby and Lisa all left the TV room to head to the front of the bus where they could witness the fans reaction to the reappearance of *NSYNC.

"Wow!" Lisa said as her mouth fell open in surprise.

Libby watched the men make their way through the noisy crowd, stopping occasionally to accept offered gifts and to sign a few autographs over the metal barriers that’d been set up to keep them safe. "That's insane," she said after a moment.

"I didn't think they were that big over here yet," Sara said as she watched JC lean across one of the security guard's arms to have his photograph taken with a fan. By the time he'd given her a smile and walked away again she was a sobbing mess.

"I guess you were wrong.”

"Do you think they ever get used to that?" Lisa asked as the hydraulic door let out a hiss of air before opening and allowing Jamie to enter the bus. Taking in the shocked expressions on their faces as she boarded the bus Jamie gave a wry smile and sniggered.

"Welcome to touring ladies!"

~~~~~*~~~~~

Three hours and two stops later, the tour bus pulled up behind the hotel where the group had reservations. Just like at all the other stops the fans seemed to know exactly where the group were going to be, and so a large crowd had gathered at the front entrance of the building. Fortunately, the driver took a short detour around to the back of the hotel so that the group could slip in relatively unnoticed.

Thanks to Jamie check-in was a pretty stream–less process, and in less than ten-minutes the group were settling into their rooms. She’d managed to book out a whole floor of the hotel so it was easy for the security team to make sure that the group were left alone to unpack without being bothered by anyone.

Upon entering her and Libby's room, Clare dropped her suitcase onto the floor besides one of the twin beds and threw herself right into the middle of the nearest bed, bouncing up and down on the mattress springs as they absorbed her weight.

"Finally!" she said as she closed her eyes and let out a relieved sigh. "I've been waiting all day for this moment!" She turned her head and buried her face deep into the fluffy pillow, inhaling the clean scent of freshly laundered sheets.

Hearing Libby's arrival not a moment later, Clare turned her head to watch her friend collapse onto her own bed. Libby looked just as relieved as her to finally be at the hotel.

"It feels weird to be back," Libby said after a moment, her voice muffled slightly by her pillow as she met Clare's eyes. "It feels like it’s been such a long time, don't you think?"

"Yeah, I suppose it does."

“So much has happened.”

"Yeah."

"Do you ever regret it?”

"Huh?"

"I mean, if you could do it all over would you still move to the States?"

Clare sucked in a breath. It was a pretty intense question for her tired brain to comprehend. She thought about it for a moment, running her mind over the events of the past few months. Although she’d gone through hell and back there was no part of her that regretted her choice to move to America. She wouldn’t swap her friends, her apartment or her lifestyle for anything.

"I wouldn't move back here for all the money in the world," she replied honestly. "Would you?"

Libby hesitated, and then an unstoppable grin crossed her face. Clare knew that smirk and the reasons behind it. Justin.  

"Sometimes I miss things," Libby admitted quietly. “I miss having roast beef on a Sunday, and hanging around the park with my brothers. I miss being able to see my mum every day, and not being able to beg my dad for money when I’m short.” She chuckled at the memory. “I’m sad that I’ve missed so many Christmases and birthdays, too. But do I regret moving?” She hesitated as though she needed a moment to think about it. “Definitely not. Our life in the States is so amazing and I could never give up all that we have.”

"We have?" Clare chuckled.

Libby smirked and blushed slightly. "I can't believe I've gotten everything I've ever wanted," she said. "Not the way I would have wanted of course, but still..."

"You deserve to be happy, Libs.”

Libby looked into Clare’s smiling face and swallowed hard. She didn’t doubt that Clare meant every word, but she couldn’t help but feel… guilty. No matter how hard Clare tried she couldn’t hide the sadness that lingered in her eyes. 

"So do you, Clare. When's your turn?"

Clare let out a huff and flipped over onto her back until she was staring up at the ceiling. "I guess we just have to wait and see."

~~~~~*~~~~~

Chris power–walked into the bedroom he was to share with Joey and made a bee-line for the bed closest to the window. Hot on his trail Joey ran up behind him and forcefully threw his suitcase past Chris’s head and onto the very same bed.

They both landed in the middle of the bed at exactly the same time causing the mattress springs to squeak in alarm.

"Mine!" Both men shouted loudly simultaneously before narrowing their eyes at each other.

"This is my bed, Fatone! I got first dibs!" Chris said as he jumped to his feet and tossed Joey's case onto the floor.

"No, you did not!" Joey shouted back, righting his case and getting straight in Chris' face.

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

Having heard the argument through the thin walls of the room next door, Justin and JC appeared in the doorway with visible scowls on their faces.

"You have got to stop this," JC told Chris irritably as he pulled Joey out of the older man's face. Both Chris and Joey continued to glower at each other as the distance between them increased.  

"You do this every time you guys room together," Justin said as he assisted JC in breaking the two men apart. He shoved Chris roughly in the chest and raised an eyebrow as Chris directed his scowl at him. "It's lame,” he said as he jokingly scowled back.

"We do not!" Chris retaliated as he shoved Justin in a way that looked much more forceful than it really was.

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Oh, God!" JC groaned as he rolled his eyes skyward and turned to Joey, who was watching Chris and Justin with an amused smirk on his face. Sensing JC's eyes on his face, Joey turned his head and shrugged innocently.

"This is all your fault, man."

~~~~~*~~~~~

"You know what I miss the most about living here?" Libby asked Clare after a minute or two of staring up at the ceiling.

"The men?"

"Yeah, 'cause there was so much choice.”

"The clubs?"

"Yeah, 'cause I was old enough to get into them."

"Okay, I give up. What do you miss most about living here?" Clare asked as she abruptly stood and made her way over to where she’d left her suitcase. She was starting to fall asleep just lying still and she needed to get up and move. She unzipped the front pocket on her case as she waited for Libby’s answer.

"The chip shops," Libby told her with a snigger.

Clare glanced over her shoulder and laughed. "Of all the things you could choose you chose that?"

"Why? What's wrong with that?"

"I don't know, I guess I just thought you were going to say your family, or something," Clare giggled.

Silence filled the room for a few minutes as Clare sorted through her case and Libby contemplated asking the question that’d been playing on her mind all day. Eventually she gave in to the nagging voice in her head that told her to just go for it.

“How are you?”

Clare paused her sorting and glanced over at Libby quickly. Her eyes flicked around the room as though she were searching for a reason behind the unexpected question. “Uh, yeah. Why?”

“It’s just… you didn’t seem to handle what happened this morning very well. I was worried that you’d be mad at me.”

Clare let out a sigh. “I take it you’d known for a while.”

Libby shook her head. “Not really, no. J told me that night on the beach, but I was sworn to secrecy like everyone else.”

“Everyone else?”

“Lis, Jamie, Sara…”

“Oh, God. Everyone knew?”

Libby looked sheepish. “Well, it was kinda necessary to be able to make all the preparations. Believe me, I wanted to tell you.”

Clare let out a huff but flashed her a wry smile. “I guess it’s fair enough considering I’ve kept things from you, too.”

Libby met her eyes, and they shared a smile.

“What are you gonna do about work?” Libby asked as concern crossed her face. It was the first time she’d considered what going on tour would do to Clare’s attempts to find a new job. Like Clare, Libby was still in the dark about Johnny having dismissed Clare’s letter of resignation. They had no idea that Clare was still employed by RCA and that her wages were still being paid into her bank account.

“Well, to be honest I don’t know. I’m kinda taking things an hour at a time right now. I’m still thinking about getting myself a flight back home ASAP.”

Libby nodded and dropped her eyes to the plain cotton bed linen. Was it wrong for her to hope that she would stay? Was that being selfish? Things would be so much easier for her if Clare stayed, but being forced to spend time with JC was likely her worst nightmare. She didn’t blame her for wanting out.

“You could talk to Jamie about it?” she suggested.

“Nah,” Clare said, shaking her head as she turned back to her case. “The more people who know the more likely it is that the guys will find out. Now I have internet access again I can start looking for some cheap flights.” She fiddled around in her case before dragging out a change of clothes and her toiletries bag. Libby was relieved to see that she hadn’t reached straight for the computer.

“But anyway, how are you now?” Clare asked. “Are you feeling any better?”

Libby attempted a bright smile and shrugged. “I’m fine now,” she said. “Tylenol is pretty strong. It usually does the job.”

Clare eyed her suspiciously. “Really? You seemed pretty sick earlier.”

Libby shrugged again. “I was just tired. It was a long flight.”

“Hmmm,” Clare mumbled as Libby dropped her gaze. “As long as that’s all it was.”

~~~~~*~~~~~

Chris woke up unusually early the next morning. After showering, dressing and checking the voicemail on his cell phone he made his way over to Justin and JC's room for some company.

"Are you two up?" he asked as he gently pushed the door open and peered inside.

"Mmm–hmm..." Justin mumbled, his tongue sticking out of his mouth as he sat on his bed beside by JC. Both of them were staring ahead at the TV screen as they battled each other at a game of NFL Extreme. It was clear to Chris by the dishevelled state of their clothes and hair that they’d been at it for hours.

"You guys had breakfast?" Chris asked as he watched the TV screen, momentarily getting caught up in the action himself.

"Nope," Justin muttered, hissing as he made a fatal mistake that gave JC the advantage. JC chuckled darkly and nudged Justin’s shoulder with his fist.

"Are you gonna get some breakfast?" Chris asked.

"Eventually," JC answered after a moment.

"’Cause they stop serving breakfast in an hour…" Chris said as he glanced at his wrist watch. Or make that less than an hour…

"What?" JC and Justin said at the same time, both their heads turning to face Chris simultaneously. Chris sniggered at the matching expressions of surprise on their faces.

"But I'm hungry," Justin whined as he dropped his controller onto the bed.

"Well come and eat then!"

~~~~~*~~~~~

"Good morning my beautiful!" Justin said cheerfully as Libby opened her door to him not ten minutes later. Chris and JC had gone straight down to the restaurant to get breakfast, but Justin had been adamant that he was going to check on Libby first. He hadn’t expected her to necessarily want to get anything to eat—she still didn’t have much of an appetite—but he thought he’d ask just in case.

Libby smiled and gestured him inside with her hand. "I'm just getting ready to go down for breakfast," she told him as she disappeared off to the bathroom. "I won't be long."

Justin grinned. “No rush,” he said as he made his way over to her bed and threw himself down before settling into a comfortable position to wait. He folded his arms behind his head and leaned back against the bedpost so he could watch her through the open door as she brushed her hair in front of the mirror.

"Ugh!" Libby groaned aloud after a couple of minutes as she put down the brush and peered closely at herself in the mirror.

"What's up?"

"This," Libby said, sticking her head through the doorway and pointing at the bald patch on the side of her head where the surgical team had shaved away her hair for surgery. It wasn't immediately obvious from a distance, but it was large enough that Libby knew that people could see it when they were up close. She hated the fact that it was in an area that was practically impossible for her to hide, and she felt embarrassed at the thought of people looking at her funny because of it.

"It looks awful and I hate it," she said, pouting at Justin before turning her attention back to her reflection in the mirror. She continued to try to rearrange her hair so that the patch didn't show but eventually let out a huff and dropped her hands noisily at her side.

Silently getting to his feet, Justin joined her in the bathroom and stood behind her until she noticed his reflection in the mirror. Libby gave him a weak smile and regarded him with sad eyes.  

Justin let out a small chuckle and pulled her backwards, wrapping his arms snugly around her waist as he did so. He crouched forward until his cheek was resting against hers and Libby could feel the prickle of his unshaved stubble against her skin.

Instinctively she ran her hands down his arms and leaned back against his chest before letting out a little sigh.

"Look at them," Justin said softly as he looked at their reflection in the mirror. A satisfied smile crossed his face as his blue eyes twinkled at her. Libby tilted her head slightly and considered the way they looked together. She had to admit they were a cute couple.

"I think he loves her anyway," Justin said in a whisper. He grinned into the mirror with such a goofy expression that Libby couldn't help but laugh. He had such a natural way of making her smile.

"Even with a bald patch?" she asked as she felt him tighten his arms around her.

"Even with a bald patch," he said.

"And a huge scar on her throat?" Libby asked as she self-consciously lifted a hand up to cover the two inch scar that was still healing from her tracheostomy. She was hyper aware of how strange it looked, and wished that the skin wasn’t still so red. She was tempted to try covering it up with makeup, but the one time she’d mentioned it to Justin he’d made her promise not to. She still didn’t know why. 

Justin glanced at her throat and gently peeled her fingers away as he leaned forward to replace them with his lips. As his tongue flicked out to lick her scar, Libby felt a spark of flame burn its way down her spine, and she instinctively sucked in a breath.

Justin pulled away and grinned at her in the mirror. "Even with the scar.”

Libby looked ahead at his reflection in the mirror and tilted her head slightly to the side. What was it about him that seemed to make her feel better about everything? Even things she wasn’t convinced she was happier about? He just seemed to magic her problems away, or at least make her feel confident enough to brush them aside herself. Whatever it was, she wished that she could bottle it and sell it to the world. The entire human population could benefit from being around Justin’s humble, caring, positive personality. 

“The real problem is…” he said as he straightened slightly and lifted a hand to his hair—which had grown quite a lot in the last few months. It was now showing its visible curl, which Justin hated. “What are we going to do about this hair?” He ran a hand over his scalp and sneered at his reflection.

It was Libby’s turn to smile. She giggled and spun around in his arms before leaning forward onto her tiptoes so that she could inspect his hair closely. She pulled his hand away from his curls and kept it held in hers.

Contemplating his question, Libby sucked her bottom lip into her mouth and chewed down on it as a thoughtful expression crossed her face.

"Hmm..."

"Shave it all off?" Justin suggested hopefully.

"Nah, I think you should grow it out."

"Grow it?" he repeated in a strangled voice. "But it's so curly. It'll look a mess."

Libby shook her head slowly and rolled her eyes, playfully exasperated. “J, there’s nothing wrong with your hair. Curls are sexy.”

“Sexy?” he repeated, then snorted.

“Yes, sexy. You should grow it out. Besides, you can’t keep dying it all the time. I’ll fall out…”

“Yeah, but longer?”

"Why not? I think it’d look nice longer.”

Libby laughed when his eyes widened in surprise.

"Really?" He glanced over at his reflection again and tried to contemplate himself with longer hair. Only as a child had he had relatively long hair, but that had been his mother’s decision not his. The idea baffled him, but if Libby thought that it’d look nicer… sexy even, then maybe he should give it a try?

"Yeah, I think so."

"Hmm… then maybe I should."

~~~~~*~~~~

Joey sat in his hotel room eating the breakfast he'd ordered from room service as he watched the TV absent-mindedly. He hadn't been bothered to head down to where the breakfast was being served in the hotel restaurant, and had instead decided to make use of the hotel's facilities from the comfort of his own room.

His body clock was still messed up from the time difference—despite his almost eight hour sleep—and he'd woken feeling especially groggy and irritable. He knew that he wouldn't be much company for his friends in his current mood, and so he'd decided to play it safe and eat alone.

"Joe?" Joey heard Lisa call through his hotel room door, and he quickly swallowed the mouthful of coffee he had in his mouth before getting up off of the bed to open the door to her.

"Mornin' sweetie," Lisa told him cheerfully as she reached up for a quick kiss. She had an armful of clothes and one of the hotel's bath towels in her arms, and she had balanced her toiletries bag on top of the pile having run out of hands to hold it with. "Can I use your shower? Sara's taking ages." She entered the room and let the door shut by itself behind her.

Joey returned to his makeshift picnic area on the bed and nodded as he shoved half a slice of buttered toast into his mouth before chewing, swallowing and answering her. "Sure, Chris' gone down for breakfast or somethin', so it’s free."

"Thanks, honey," Lisa said with a smile as she entered the bathroom, turned on the light and closed the door.

Joey turned back to the TV and continued to eat his breakfast. It was a while before he realised that today was the first day that Lisa hadn’t spent the first part of the morning in the bathroom being sick.

~~~~~*~~~~~

"Today they have an interview at eleven, a photo shoot and interview with Smash Hits magazine at noon, and then they're all yours for the rehearsal," Jamie told Sara as she read the day's schedule aloud to the group as they headed off to their first destination of the day.

The members of *NSYNC half listened as they found ways to amuse themselves during the journey. The girls—Libby, Lisa and Clare—had gathered in the booth to chat, leaving Sara and Jamie to discuss work.

"Smash Hits magazine?" Libby said as she glanced at Clare and chuckled. "Do you remember that, Clare? We used to combine our pocket money at the end of the week to buy a copy?"

Clare laughed at the memory. "I do remember. We used to fight over who got to keep the pull-out posters."

"Which you always won," Libby said in a slightly resentful tone.

“I was older,” Clare said. “Plus I used more of my pocket money than you."

"Only because you got more. ‘Sides, you only took the posters to spite me. We never liked the same bands."

"Thank God,” Clare chuckled. “Oh! Except for Take That."

Libby glanced off into the distance wistfully as she remembered back to her teenage years and her obsessive love for Robbie Williams. "Ah, Robbie!" she sighed dramatically before giggling at herself.

"I'm right here!" Justin huffed, lowering the bottle of soda he was drinking from and raising a questioning eyebrow at his girlfriend who’d spun around in her seat at the sound of his voice. She’d completely forgotten that he was within earshot and her blush reached all the way to the top of her ears.

“Sorry, baby.”

“Somewhere someone is having this kind of conversation about you,” Clare said as Libby hopped up from her seat and half skipped over to where Justin was leaning against the kitchen counters. He maintained the pouty expression on his face until Libby giggled and placed a kiss on his cheek.

“Love you,” she said causing Justin to smirk.

“But I’m no Robbie Williams, right?”

Libby sniggered. “What can I say? I’m a sucker for the bad guys.”

Justin raised his eyebrows. “I’m not a bad guy?”

“No,” Clare snorted. “You are not a bad guy.”

"Whatever,” Justin huffed as he pulled Libby into his arms and gave her a proper kiss.

"So what exactly do you guys have to do to prepare for a photo shoot and interview?" Lisa asked Joey as he passed by the booth to join Justin and Libby in the kitchen area.

"You mean besides looking cute?" he asked her with a crooked smile, and the girls broke out into laughter as he began to run through a practice of his 'cutest' poses.

"Obviously besides that," Clare chuckled.

"They usually ask the same stupid questions as the radio stations," Chris added from where he sat at the front of the bus. "What our favourite colours are."

"Which was the first concert we went to," Joey said with a smirk at Chris.

"What we eat for breakfast," Justin said after swallowing another mouthful of soda. Libby leaned into his body and wrapped an arm around his waist as she watched him down his drink.

"Cap'n Crunch," she said without hesitation, receiving a high five for her correct answer.

"Exactly," Justin said with a laugh.

"So pretty boring stuff," Lisa said as she considered their answers.

"Pretty much."

"Can't you mix it up a bit?" she asked JC as he came to sit on the spare couch, spreading his legs out in front of him as he stretched.

"What do you mean?" he asked her.

"I dunno, make up some new answers? Or just make it all up. Who’d know?"

"Believe me, they'd know," Libby replied. "One time I accidentally mixed up the biography information on the website and I got like a million emails telling me what an idiot I was. It was only online for a matter of minutes but the fans noticed. I swear that when it comes to these guys they have photographic memories."

"Scary," Chris commented with a shudder.

"Imagine if they knew the truth about you," Lisa giggled as she glanced from Chris to Joey and back again. "They'd be horrified."

"They sure would," Clare said darkly as she glowered across the aisle at JC.

The carefree laughter in the bus died abruptly and JC turned his head to meet Clare’s eyes before rolling his own skyward, antagonising her further and causing her heckles to rise.

"Excuse me," she said abruptly to Lisa who was sitting between her and the way out of the booth. Lisa silently shuffled along to let Clare past. Without saying another word, Clare turned and stomped towards the sleeping area. She needed to be as far away from JC as the cramped space would allow.

"Whoops," Joey mumbled sheepishly as soon as Clare was out of earshot.

JC shrugged and folded his arms across his chest as he glared out of the window at the cars passing by on the other side of the road.

"Have you spoken to her yet?" Chris asked causing JC to scowl back at him in frustration.

"You know the answer to that."

"Keep trying, man. She's got to give in eventually."

"You reckon?"

"No, but isn't that what people always say?" Chris glanced around at the others for agreement but everyone avoided meeting his eyes. "Right, guys?"

I remember way back way back when / I said I never wanna see your face again / 'Cause you were loving yes you're loving somebody else / And I knew oh yes I knew I couldn't control myself / And now they bring you back into my life again / And so I put on a face just like your friends / But I think you know / Oh yes you know what's going on / 'Cause the feelings in me, oh yes, in me are burning strong

But I will never be your stepping stone / Take it all or leave me alone / I will never be your stepping stone / I'm standing upright on my own

~~~~~*~~~~~

Once the men had cleared off the bus to go their first interview, Lisa cornered Clare near the sleeping area. She’d been talked into it—of course—but when it’d come down to it, she hadn’t really needed that much persuading.

Like everyone else, Lisa was trying not to let the drama between JC and Clare affect her. But now that everyone was living on top of each other, it was nearly impossible not to be bothered by the tense, hostile environment that the pair created when they were around each other. Lisa had come on tour to spend time with her boyfriend and hopefully take her mind off feeling unwell, but dealing with JC and Clare drama wasn’t helping with either of those things.

It didn’t help that Joey kept nagging her to go talk to Clare to try to voice JC’s side of the situation. Everyone was trying to tell Clare discreetly that she really should let JC explain, but she still wasn’t having any of it. No one felt it was their place to explain that JC wasn’t engaged or expecting a baby—they all felt that the news should come from him—but since Clare was so pig–headed and moody, it seemed that she might never hear the news.

Naturally, Joey had assumed that Lisa should be the next person to attempt to get through to Clare. He seemed to think that she was the most sensitive and understanding of all the women, which suggested to Lisa that he was endearingly biased in her favour. She wasn’t particularly either of those things.

Out of all the women, Lisa was closest to Libby, and although she hung out with Clare socially, the pair weren’t that close. Lisa wasn’t sure how she was supposed to bring up such a delicate subject with Clare out of the blue, but she knew that she’d never hear the end of it from Joey if she didn’t try. Now was her chance.

“What?” Clare asked Lisa as the latter blocked the thin hallway and stood with her arms folded across her chest. The frown across Lisa’s brow told Clare that something was up.

“We need to talk,” Lisa said, maintaining the disapproving frown on her face. She hadn’t intended to open the subject so abruptly and sternly, but now that she’d started she figured that she might as well carry on.

Clare’s eyes automatically flicked to the front of the bus where Libby and Sara were playing a game of cards to help them pass the time until the men returned.

“Okay…”

“It’s about JC.”

“I figured,” Clare said as she unconsciously copied Lisa’s posture. She didn’t want to jump to conclusions but she was determined not to be bullied into anything. She that knew her friends were getting frustrated with her stubborn refusal to listen to JC, but they weren’t living her life, she was, and none of them understood the pain he’d put her through. She knew that JC was a lot easier to get along with than she was—she was stubborn, proud and judgemental—but it hurt her that already her friends were transferring their sympathies to JC. “What about him?”

Lisa let out a deep sigh and said, more gently, “You really need to listen to him, Clare.”

Clare let out a snort and rolled her eyes. “Er, no. I really don’t.”

“Yes, you do. Has it occurred to you that maybe you are making a bigger deal of this than you really should? Has it occurred to you that maybe JC is sorry and wants to make amends for what happened?”

Again Clare snorted, but she felt something inside of her twinge at the idea. Hadn’t she considered that? Well… not really. But what difference would it make if he wanted to say sorry? It didn’t change anything. Of course he wanted to be friends with her again, but that was the whole point; he clearly thought that they could just go back to the way things were, and that she, Alyson and the baby could all be besties for life. As if.

“Well…”

“I really think you should think about it. I don’t think you realise what you’re putting us through with this massive rift.”

“Lisa, I—”

“I know that you were hurt by what happened. I understand that, I really do. But do you really want to carry on like this forever?” Clare opened her mouth to protest, but Lisa quickly interrupted. “I mean, even if you did find another job and left, I’m sure your intention isn’t to never see any of us again, right?”

“Of course not,” Clare spluttered.

“So what? You think you can continue holding this grudge against JC forever? You don’t think that sooner or later it’s going to affect other people? Libby for example?”

Clare frowned. “Why would it affect Libby?”

“It’s affecting Libby! Her boyfriend is practically JC’s closest friend in the group. You don’t think that’s going to cause Libby problems at some point?”

Clare glanced over Lisa’s shoulder at Libby who was grinning victoriously at Sara, having clearly achieved some advantage over her friend at their game. At the returning expression on Sara’s face, Libby threw her head back and laughed. Of course she didn’t want Libby to be affected by what had happened. That’s why she’d kept it from her for as long as she had.

“And what about Jamie and Chris? Me and Joey? You don’t think we haven’t been put in an awkward position by what’s happened? They’re like brothers, Clare. Thank God our relationships are as strong as they are, ‘cause this is the kinda thing couples break up over. I mean, Jamie and Chris have really only just got together, and I know they’ve had rows about this.”

Clare felt some of the fire within her extinguish at the thought. The last thing she wanted was for her friends to be put in a difficult situation because of her. Especially if it meant that it was affecting their relationships. But why couldn’t they see that it was all JC’s fault, not hers? When had she become the bad guy?

“I know it’s not all you, Clare. I know JC has as much responsibility to sort this out as you do, but he’s trying. You’re just being stubborn and won’t listen. I mean, what harm could it do to hear him out? Really? Would it be the end of the world?”

What was she supposed to say, Clare wondered. Yes, it really would? But then Lisa would probably thump her. Or let herself admit that maybe she could hear him out? But then she’d have to admit that she may have taken things a little too far. Either way, she’d end up with egg on her face.

“I’m sorry that I’ve had to be blunt about this Clare,” Lisa said. “I just know that someone has to say something before this carries on and none of us are friends any more. I don’t mean to put you in an awkward spot, but sooner or later you have to at least listen to what he has to say. Especially now. I mean, you can’t keep storming around and trying to avoid him.”

Clare’s heckles rose and her stubborn streak returned. Storming around? If anyone was known for throwing their weight around when they were in a bad mood it was Lisa, not her. Lisa was a fiery red–head, after all. Who was she to judge? Sure, she may have thrown the odd tantrum and slammed the odd door… but was she really to blame for that? Had they already forgotten that she’d been kidnapped? If she was such a nightmare to be around then why had they all conspired to bring her along on the tour?

“I guess I could think about it,” she muttered, refusing to meet Lisa’s eyes.

“Don’t think,” Lisa said, “just do it. And if you can’t do it for you or him, do it for all of us.”

~~~~~*~~~~~

*Part 2 follows*