~~~~~*~~~~~

After the shock of what Maggie had said to her that morning, Gem's anger set in. It was a deep resentful anger, long suppressed that had its roots in their shared childhood.

She'd just about managed to get to work on time, but only by a fraction of a second. She'd rushed to her locker, still out of breath from running and the sharp winter air, and stood there for a moment, hunched over, staring at the dull grey paint on the walls but not really seeing anything. She couldn't forget the expression on Maggie's face when she'd turned back to the fridge, dismissing her with her body language if not with her words, and said, 'I spend more time with your kids than you do.'

How those words had wounded her.

Even thinking of them now sent a chill through Gem and she felt her throat constricting, her chest getting tight. She brushed angrily at a tear that threatened to spill from her red-rimmed eyes and sucked in a deep breath. She had to put all that aside for now, but the words kept repeating over and over in her mind.

How could Maggie have been so cruel? Did she really think Gem wasn't aware of how little she saw her boys? Did she think it was something that a mother could just forget? Overlook? Maggie had no idea how hard it was. She had no idea of the guilt Gem felt every morning when she kissed each of her son's foreheads as they slept in their beds, their mouths open and their eyelids flickering as they slept. It was one of the few times Austin wasn't causing havoc and she missed it. She never got to see it.

She never had the chance to ask the boys what they'd been up to at school, or even help them with their homework if they needed it–she wasn't even sure if Scotty helped them. It hurt her deeply that she couldn't be there for those moments, but she knew there was nothing she could do about it. She was the breadwinner, she had to go to work.

The last thing she wanted to do was go to her boss and admit she couldn't get a sitter for the late shift, but after exhausting all her backup plans during her lunch break, Gem realised she had little choice. She waited a good five minutes after her shift ended–just in case she might be accused of slacking–and made her way with a heavy heart to her bosses office.

As expected, her boss glanced up for a few seconds from her computer screen to catch the basics of what Gem had come to talk about before her eyes trailed back to the screen. Gem wasn't fooled; she knew her boss spent most of the day on Facebook.

“Sorry to let you down at such short notice,” Gem babbled, “but my sis... sitter let me down at the last minute.” She coloured at her slip-up and nervously glanced down at her shoes. She hated the way her confidence seemed to disappear whenever she had to speak privately to her boss in her office. She had a feeling it was a throwback to her school days, when being called into the principle's office was only ever a bad experience. But school had been a long time ago, surely she should be over it by now?

“There are plenty of people looking for an extra shift,” Gem's boss said, interrupting Gem's nervous babbling, and not a moment too soon. Gem had started explaining how eager she was for extra shifts, how she was really hoping to be able to spoil her boys this year, and how sorry she was that she couldn't fulfil her request for overtime. It was all unnecessary information and she could tell her boss wasn't really listening, but she just couldn't seem to keep her mouth closed. She always babbled when she was nervous.

“If you aren't available for overtime anymore I can take you off the rota.” Once again this was said to the computer screen.

Gem felt her cheeks flushing with colour. She'd been half expecting this. She'd been at the hotel for six months now, which was three months past the time she was supposed to be on probation, but she was still being treated like the new girl. It was humiliating. She'd hoped that offering herself up for extra shifts would improve her position at the hotel, but if anything it seemed to have got under her boss' nose. They probably thought she was trying to hard, she wondered.

“Just on this occasion,” Gem muttered, wringing her hands together before remembering that she was an adult and should be acting like one. She straightened her back and looked determinedly forward, but it didn't make a difference; her boss still only had eyes for the computer screen. “I'll make other plans for my shift tomorrow.”

“Fine.”

Gem waited but after an awkward silence for a minute or two she realised that was all the answer she was going to receive. She attempted to keep her face composed and gathered her bag and coat from the chair opposite the desk. Her boss' office was set out like an interrogation room, with one chair facing the large, wooden desk. Every time Gem entered the room she couldn't help but think it was set out that way for a reason; to put the fear of God into any employee who dared enter. She was more than happy to leave, even without a word of goodbye.

~~~~~*~~~~~

“So what did your sister say?” Justin asked as he and Maggie trudged through the fresh snow to his waiting car. It was mid-afternoon, and as planned he'd arrived to pick her up from work. Maggie let out a huff which appeared from her mouth like a vent releasing steam. She glanced sideways at him and leaned closer to his body, needing the comfort of feeling him beside her as she relived what had happened that morning. In response, he reached for her gloved hand and laced it through his arm, bringing her closer to his black duffel coat.

“You know, I shouldn't really be bothering you with all this,” she said, more to herself than to him. Justin eyed her and raised a questioning eyebrow.

“And why not?”

“Because you're on vacation,” Maggie said, “you're supposed to be taking a break from day-to-day life.”

Justin snorted and rolled his eyes. “Ginger, I've been on the road so long that I've not been involved in family drama for years. Hearing about yours kinda reminds me of home.” A fond smile crossed his face and Maggie turned her head to look at him.

“Well, anytime you wanna be reminded, you know where to come,” she said, dropping her eyes to the sidewalk and the heap of grey, slushy snow compressed in a pile against the side of the road.

Justin gave her a warm smile and nudged her slightly with his hip. Maggie turned to meet his eyes and finding a crooked smile on his face, couldn't help but smile weakly back. “You'll work it out,” he said, giving her body a squeeze. “You're sisters.”

Maggie dipped her head and rolled her eyes. How come whenever she had an argument with her sister everyone always said the same thing, 'You're sisters, you can't stay mad at each other for long'? As if somehow being related meant they should be the best of friends.

“Easy for you to say. You haven't got a sister,” Maggie said as they paused at the curb, preparing to cross the icy street. Despite the snowplows having been out within the hour, there were still deep furrows in the road up to Maggie's ankles, if not more. Sensing her hesitation, Justin released his arm from between hers and reached for her small gloved hand. Maggie looked up into his eyes and smiled. After years of having to look after herself, it felt nice to know that someone cared.

“It's not much easier with brothers, believe me. Different problems, same drama.”

“But you miss it?” Maggie asked flashing him a sideways smirk. She didn't think being on the road all the time sounded all that bad. Dropping in during Thanksgiving and Christmas, seeing your family for only a few days a year? She could handle that.

“I miss them,” Justin said. “It's all part of being a family.”

“I guess.”

~~~~~*~~~~~

The last thing Gem wanted to do was to sit at home with the boys whilst Scotty watched sports on TV. Walking into the house and finding her husband and her eldest son sprawled out on the sofa, whilst Max played with his plastic farm set at their feet, made her stomach sink.

So this is what they do while I'm at work, she thought miserably.

“Aust, Max, go get your coats,” she said, as she dumped her bag onto the coffee table and stretched out her arms above her head. She ached all over from her shift, but that was nothing new. She'd have a long bubble bath later, she told herself, when the kids were in bed and she could properly relax.

Austin's head turned at the sound of his name and he looked momentarily surprised to see her standing there. “Why?” he asked in an irritated tone, his brow furrowing slightly. For a second Gem glimpsed a perfect miniature clone of her husband before Austin pushed his bottom lip out petulantly. For all Scotty's flaws, it had to be said that Gem had never seen him pout.

“Because I said,” she replied, trying to keep the bite out of her voice. Calm and in control, she repeated to herself as she waited for her son to follow her instructions. She'd been reading a book about dealing with teenagers, and the one thing she'd picked up from it straight away was that it was no good screaming and shouting at her son. Even so, when he had that look on his face it was hard for her not to raise her voice. “I'm taking you to nanny's. Don't forget to bring your homework and your book bag.”

Austin let out a groan and got up from the sofa, dragging his feet all the way to his room. Max was much easier to organise. He was ready to go in the time it took Austin to come back downstairs. As Gem wrapped up her youngest son in his fleecy coat and grabbed a beanie hoodie from off the coat rack to keep his ears warm, she shot a glance at Scotty to see if he was going to speak to her.

Things were still uncomfortable between them since their fight the night before. They'd gone to bed in silence, and risen in the morning exactly the same. She'd made the boys' lunch packs and Scotty's lunch as usual and muttered goodbye before she left for work, but Scotty had avoided meeting her eyes. She'd felt just as uncomfortable.

“We'll be a couple of hours,” she said to the side of Scotty's head. “Be back around dinner time.”

Scotty nodded, and when she said nothing in return turned his head to gaze at her. Gem met his eye but quickly looked away upon seeing the searching look there. He knew she shouldn't be home from work as early as she was, but he clearly wasn't going to ask her about it. Neither was he going to object to her taking the boys to her parent's house when he was doing a fine job watching them as it was. He wasn't going to say anything it seemed.

Gem felt uncomfortable scooping up the boys and heading off to her parent's house, but she still felt jittery and torn up about her argument with Maggie that morning. She needed to talk to her mom. She needed assurance her whole family didn't feel she was burdening them with the raising of her sons. And if they did... she just hoped she wouldn't fall apart.

~~~~~*~~~~~