YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE ALONE

Chapter 2

            A sudden gust of wind assisted in pushing the door open.  It slammed against the inside wall and she quickly reached to retrieve it.  She stepped inside, pushed the door closed and caught her breath.  For a few seconds she stood, facing the door, trying to gather her thoughts about her.  With a deep sigh and a hard swallow, she turned to face the interior of the cabin.

            A wave of sadness washed over her as she took in the rustic charm of the cabin.  She had to mentally control the feelings that rushed over her.  Tears stung the back of her eyes as she realized this would be the last time she would ever be here.  A sharp pain pierced through her heart as she thought about not being here with him ever again.  The many nights spent lying in front of the fireplace, cuddling, holding each other, making love, were all in the past.  Never again would she feel his arms circle her.  Never again would she feel his lips softly touching hers.  Never again would he whisper words of love against her hair.  The first tear trickled down her cold, pink cheek. 

            “Get your things and get out of here.” She whispered to herself.  Somehow, she had to fulfill her mission and leave before he could even think that she might be in his domain.  With a heavy sigh and a purposeful step she headed herself in the direction of the bedroom.  The door was slightly ajar.  With a gentle push, she opened it and stepped inside. 

            A small gasp escaped her lips and she raised a now trembling hand to her mouth in an effort to stifle any further sounds.  She hadn’t realized that seeing their room would cause her so much pain.  Before she knew what was happening to her, the tears began to flow.  Quietly she stood in place, just staring around her, letting the waves of anguish wash over her.  Aimlessly she shook her head at the irony of all that had happened.  She allowed herself the brief few moments to just wallow in the pain of seeing what they had once happily shared.  And then it was over.

            Carefully he laid the three pieces of wood onto the glowing embers, as well as the single piece he had left on the hearth earlier.  He grabbed the poker and stoked the fire, softly blowing on it, creating flames anew.  He leaned back and admired the glowing blaze as it took hold.  Having removed his gloves he rubbed his hands together again.  He was chilled from his brief trip outdoors.  He needed something warm.  Rising to his feet, he headed back in the direction of the kitchen, grabbed the copper tea kettle, filled it with water and placed it on the stove.  Turning the control knob to high, he stepped back to wait for the water to come to a boil.  Nothing would work as well to chase the winter chill away as a nice hot cup of tea.

            Almost angrily, she reached up and wiped every tear from her skin.  She set her jaw in determination.  There was a job to do and she was here to do it.  She turned her head and spotted the first item she needed to pick up.  It was her perfume atomizer.  A bitter smile crossed her lips as she walked over to the dresser and retrieved the bottle.  She looked at it.

            “I know he’ll have no use for this.”

            With that said, she set it in her purse.  Raising her eyes, she walked over to the bedside table.  Her hairbrush was there.  She picked it up and allowed it to join her perfume in the dark recesses of her purse. 

            Her eyes scanned the circumference of the room.  Absently she allowed her hand to skim over the pale blue down comforter that covered the bed.  She caught a glimpse of the closet.  Hurriedly, she walked over to it and opened the doors.  Quickly she pulled her garments from their hangers and tossed them onto the bed.  Fortunately she had only left enough clothes for a week’s stay.  It would be easy to remove them all in one trip.  A sardonic chuckle escaped her as she realized he had been the one to teach her how to travel light. 

            Bending over, she retrieved a pair of fur-lined boots, a pair of Nike shoes, and a pair of black dress heels.  Immediately they joined the clothes on the bed. 

            Returning her attention to the dresser, she opened the two top drawers.  He had called them her lingerie drawers.  That was exactly what she kept in them.  Carelessly, she tossed the flimsy scraps of lace and satin onto the bed with her other belongings.  Opening the middle dresser drawer, she found her lounging pajamas.  They were a purple satin.  He had bought them for her.  He liked them so much; he had given her two pair – one for the cabin – one for their apartment.  Without even picking them up, she closed the drawer. 

            “If he likes them so much, he can keep them.”

            The sound of a whistling tea kettle caught her attention.  At first, a knot tightened in her stomach.  It was then that she remembered the smoke coming from the chimney when she had walked up to the cabin.  She hoped she was right, that whoever it was in the kitchen, it wasn’t him.  She walked back over to the bed, retrieved her blue suitcase from beneath it, and laid it on top of the bed.  She clicked the locks open, flipped the lid and began tossing her clothes and shoes inside. 

            As she was about to close it, her eyes caught sight of a picture on the opposite bedside table.  She swallowed hard.  Walking around the bed, she approached it cautiously.  A shaky hand reached out and picked it up.  Her eyes blinked back newfound tears.

            “What in the hell are you doing here?”  His voice boomed from behind her.  Startled, she dropped the picture from her grasp, shattering the glass all around her feet.  She stood motionless as a shiver raced up her spine.

            “I asked you a question.” His voice was cold and unfeeling.  Anger radiated from it.

            Refusing to turn around and meet his gaze she stared at the wall ahead of her.

            “I came to get my things.”

            “Did you now?  Isn’t that sweet?”  His tone was completely void of any feeling.  She could only hear sarcasm dripping from him. 

            “You’re trespassing!”  He shouted at her.

            Amazed that he could accuse her of that, she spun around on one heel, glass from the broken picture crunching beneath her foot.

            “I am not.  I came to get my things, leave my key, and get out of your life.”

            Without even blinking an eye, he verbally assaulted her. 

            “You’re taking way too long to get out of my life!  Get out!  I’ll have your things, what few there are, sent to you.  Now, get out!”  She noticed how his hands were clenched into tight fists at his sides.

            She resented the tone and the attitude that he was taking with her.  She raised her chin defiantly. 

            “I’m not leaving my things with you.  I’ll take them with me.”

            “Who gave you permission to come here?”

            “You did, a long time ago.”

            “That was then!  This is now!”

            She glared at him.  “You are so wrong!  But you don’t even care!  And you know what?  Neither do I!”

            “What is that supposed to mean?”

            She shook her head.  “It just means that there was a time when I wanted to try to explain things to you.  Now?  I really don’t care what you think.  I’ll just get my things and I’m out of here.”

            She bent to pick up the picture, then moved over the broken glass and returned to the side of the bed.  She leaned over, set the picture inside the suitcase, and reached to pull the far side closed. 

            A gasp sounded from her as his hand shot out and slammed the suitcase open again.  Her gaze drifted up to meet his eyes, cold and unfeeling.

            “That”, he pointed a tense finger at the picture laying on top of her clothing, “stays here!”

            She was taken aback by his statement and confusion creased her brow.

            “Excuse me?” she asked quietly.

            “I said that picture is staying right here.  It’s mine.  You are not taking it with you.”

            “Forgive me if I seem confused, but you just told me you wanted me out of your life.  How is keeping this picture getting rid of me?  You do remember what it’s a picture of, don’t you?”

            “Don’t be so damned smug!  Of course I remember!  That’s beside the point.  It’s mine and it stays right here!”  He punctuated his statement by pointing at the floor and shaking his hand in that direction several times.

            She shook her head incredulously.  “You are such a hypocrite!”

            As an eyebrow arched in her direction, he sucked in a deep breath.  The sound caused a shiver to again race up her spine.  She did not allow the look on his face or the determination in his posture to stray her from what she had set out to do.  Again, she reached to close her suitcase.

            Instantly she felt two strong hands seize her shoulders in a vice-like hold.  Before she could think, he spun her around and forced her to look at him.  Anger poured from him as his eyes searched her face.  She refused to allow him to know he was frightening her, and so she glared at him.  She swallowed hard as she bit back the angry words that begged to be screamed at him.

            Through clenched teeth, he spoke in a hushed tone.  “What part of ‘it’s mine’ don’t you understand?”

            She refused to answer him.

            “You have no business here.  I want you out of here, now!  Just the sight of you turns my stomach!”

            Was she breathing?  As the tears burned behind her eyes, she forced herself to draw a shaky breath.  Yes, she was breathing.  The pain that had surged through her at his words had created such a pain in her chest that she was nearly positive she had died.  But no, albeit shallow and extremely shaky, there was still breath left within her.  She wrenched herself from his grip and turned back to the suitcase.  Quietly she closed the piece of luggage, the picture still held securely in its confines.  She snapped the locks closed and picked it up from the bed.

            Forcing herself not to look up into the coldness of his blue eyes, she side stepped him, and headed for the door.  As she crossed the threshold to the hallway, not slowing her pace, she calmly expressed her innermost thoughts.

            “I never knew what an absolute ignorant bastard you really are!  I’d much rather spend Christmas, and my life, alone than with you.  Have a wonderful life!”

            Her hand reached out, grabbed the doorknob to the front door, and turned it.  The door swung open toward her as the cold outside air swirled around her.  Her eyes opened in surprise as she stared at the blanket of white that now covered everything from the evergreens beside the house, to her car which was barely visible through the blowing gusts of wind and snow.  She looked down at the snow covered porch, and realized there had to be at least four inches of snow on it.  In the back of her mind she realized that if the porch had that much coverage, what must the main roads be like?  Hearing him move behind her, she sucked in a deep breath and decided to venture out. 

            As soon as her ankle felt the icy cold of the snow around it, she gasped.  She forced herself to ignore the cold and headed toward the steps that would lead her to her nearly buried vehicle.  The suitcase dragged along the top of the snow, leaving a sled-like trail behind her. 

            He stepped into the open doorway, silently watching her trudge through the heavy, wet snow.  The snowfall was unexpected, and somewhere in the recesses of his mind he knew he couldn’t let her leave with weather conditions like this.  Despite his anger he yelled for her to come back into the cabin.  His request fell on deaf ear.  She reached the car and swiped her hand across the side of the door, making it easier for her to access the door handle.  Pulling the back door open, she placed her suitcase on the back seat.  Then, reaching down to the floor of the backseat, she retrieved her snow scraper and stepped back.  She slammed the door closed and began the arduous task of removing the snow from the windows of the car.

            He stood on the porch, watching her.  He swallowed hard.  He surprised himself by feeling worried about her.  He knew he couldn’t let her drive in these conditions.  Again, he yelled for her to come back into the cabin.  His voice seemed to be carried away on the gusts of wind that whipped around him.  He shivered from the cold and immediately tucked his hands under his arms in an effort to stay warm.  He turned to go inside.  Somehow he knew he had to prevent her from leaving in these conditions.