YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE ALONE

Chapter 3

            Shrugging into his jacket, JC hurried back to the front porch.  Again he called her name, and told her to come back inside.  He froze on the first step of the porch.  His eyes scanned the area surrounding her car.  Where was she?  He couldn’t see her.  He couldn’t hear her.  He called out for her again.  There was nothing.  He listened, trying to discern if the motor of the car was running.  He told himself that she must be inside the car.  Yet, from what he could hear, the car did not appear to be running.  He knew he couldn’t be sure because of the howling of the wind, but there was nothing that sounded like a car to him. 

            Slowly he took each step from the porch.  Twice he nearly slipped and fell, having stepped on ice beneath the snowy path.  He called out to her, still he heard nothing.  For a moment he thought she might just be purposely ignoring him.  Yet, when he realized he couldn’t see her, he became concerned. 

            Gradually his pace closed the distance between him and the car.  The winds continued to whip around him and his dark hair was covered in a coating of white as the snow fell at a fast and heavy rate.

            “Abby?”  Again he yelled her name.  He grimaced when he received no reply. 

            She had to be inside the vehicle.  That was the only explanation for him not hearing or seeing her.  He nodded to himself.  A small smile appeared as he realized that she would probably spend the entire night sitting in the car in front of the cabin, rather than come inside with him after what he had said.  That thought caused him to halt his movements.

            “Fine!” he said to himself.  “If you want to freeze your ass off, you go right ahead!  I’m going back inside.  I’m sure if you get cold enough, you’ll come knocking on the door.”          

            Feeling quite sure of himself, JC made his way back up to the porch of the cabin.  He took one more look at the car, chuckled, and went back inside.  He pushed the door closed, but did not lock it.  Draping his jacket over the back of the chair beside the fireplace, he picked up the poker and stirred up the wood and embers that cast such a warm glow around the room. 

            “Yep, when she’s cold enough she’ll be begging to come inside.”  He laughed out loud.

            Ten minutes passed as JC sat in the chair calmly watching the glow of the fire.  Absently his fingers drummed on the armrest.  He looked at his watch.  He looked over his shoulder at the front door.  She was still outside.

            Twenty minutes passed and JC shifted in his chair a bit uneasily.  He looked at his watch again.  He repeatedly looked over at the front door.  He shook his head.  Apparently she still wasn’t too cold.

            Thirty minutes passed and JC could feel his entire body tensing.  He could hear the winds howling around the cabin and sleet pelting against the windows.  Without even looking, he knew the conditions were worsening.  He knew that if there was sleet coming down the temperatures were falling.  He wondered how long she would play the bullheaded one and stay outside.

            At the forty-five minute mark, he could wait no longer.  Even in his anger, he knew she shouldn’t be outside in the storm.  He pushed himself out of the chair and picked up his jacket.  He slipped it on and headed to the door and opened it, bracing one hand against the wood of it so that the gusting wind wouldn’t whip it from his grasp. 

            Looking around outside, JC realized that the visibility was nearly nil.  Total darkness was closing in as nightfall was nearly complete.  He forced himself to focus on her car.  He could find it, but only because of the shape of the mound of snow covering it.  He tucked his chin to his chest and closed his coat around him more as he made his way to the car. 

            As he stood in front of it, it became obvious that Abby hadn’t been running it for heat.  She hadn’t cleared the windshield of the fallen snow.  For that matter, she hadn’t cleared any of the windows. 

            “Abby?”

            The only reply he received was a whistle through the trees from the wind as it sent more snow and sleet pelting against his face.

            “Abby, where are you?” he raised his voice in an effort to be heard.

            He approached the driver’s door of the car and quickly brushed his hand through the near frozen snow that covered it.  As he stepped in to pull the door open, his foot kicked something.

            “What the…”

            He stepped back.  Looking down, his heart began to pound wildly.  The thought of something he had never considered began to race through his mind.  He bent down, and with his bare hands he began to brush the snow off of the thing he had unintentionally kicked.  His eyes widened in terror as more and more of Abby was revealed.  Somehow, she had fallen and was lying unconscious beside the car, and now was covered by the snow.

            He worked rapidly to uncover her.  He took his chilled hands and tried to cup her reddened cheeks. 

            “Oh, my God!”  Without hesitation, he scooped her up into his arms and tried to hurry as quickly as conditions would allow to get her into the cabin. 

            The wind pushed the door open for him and his foot worked amply to slam it closed.  He nearly ran to the couch in the living room and laid her still form on it.  He shrugged out of his jacket and laid it over her, hoping the warmth from his body would somehow seep through to her.

            Gently his hands brushed her wet hair from her face.  He noticed how red her cheeks were.  Her lashes were flecked with snow and tiny bits of ice crystals and her lips were nearly blue.  He felt tears well up as he knelt beside her.  As his hands caressed her icy skin, he felt a fear he had never known before. 

            Drawing a ragged breath, he reached to the back of the couch and yanked the folded afghan from it.  Carefully he opened it and covered her cold body with it.  He hugged her as he tried to cover her with his warmth in a feeble attempt to bring her body temperature back to normal.  His breathing was shallow but rapid as panic raced through him.  Help, he needed to get help.  He tucked the afghan around her and eased himself away from her.  He backed away, and moved toward the table where the telephone was.  He picked it up and immediately dialed 911.  Placing the receiver to his ear, he waited for a response from the other end.  When nothing happened, he clicked the buttons and re-dialed.  Still there was nothing.  Slowly, he clicked the buttons once more, placed the receiver to his ear again and realized the phone was dead.  A curse flew from his lips as he tossed the phone to the floor. 

            He raced to the bedroom and retrieved his cell phone.  He thanked the powers that be that he had had the foresight to keep the phone in its charger when he arrived.  Flipping the cover open, he immediately pressed 911 and the send button.  A tone sounded in his ear and he held the cell phone in front of him only to read a message that told him the call had failed.  He cleared the call, and immediately noticed that the service light was blinking red.  He was out of his service area.

            The bitter taste of panic rose in his throat.  He knew Abby needed help, and it seemed that he was helpless to get it for her.  He ran a shaky hand through his hair and forced back the tears that threatened to fall. 

            This was his fault.  There was no one else to blame.  He had literally thrown her out.  He had cast her out into a blinding snowstorm with no regard for her well-being.  He knew he had told her he wanted her out of his life, but now, as he actually faced the reality of it, regret surged through him.

            Having tossed the cell phone on the bed, JC returned to the living room.  He stopped to stoke the fire, quickly tossing some kindling on top of the hot embers in an effort to warm the room at a quicker rate.  Then, standing straight, he turned and looked at her still form.  He tried hard to swallow the lump in his throat as he looked at the tiny beads of water that rested softly on her lashes.

            He moved toward her and again knelt beside her.  He rested his hands on top of the afghan that covered her hands.  He could feel her body trembling beneath the covers.  He lowered his head, and rested it on her shoulder.

            “Oh, Abby, I’m so sorry.  Please, you have to be okay.  I never meant for anything like this to happen.  Please just be okay.”  His words were whispered and broken as he spoke them.

            She shivered more.  He lifted his head and looked down at her.  Her lips had regained some of their color, but still were an unnatural shade of pink.  She slowly turned her head to the side, and his eyes took in the sight before him.

            “Oh God!” he gasped.

            The pillow beneath her head was covered in blood, her blood.  Immediately he ran his hand behind her head.  He could feel a bump and when he retracted his hand it was covered in blood as well. 

            His eyes darted around him.  He knew he needed to do something, but his brain was failing him.  He couldn’t think.  He was at a loss. 

            “Please, Abby, please don’t die!” the plea escaped his lips before he even realized he had thought it.

            Abby flexed her neck and groaned.  Almost immediately JC moved into action.  He headed directly to the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet.  Grabbing bandages and gauze and antiseptic he practically slammed the door to the medicine cabinet closed.  He opened the door to the cupboard beneath the sink and grabbed two clean wash cloths.  Turning on the warm water, he soaked both cloths and wrung them out.  He rushed back to Abby’s side. 

            Keeping his voice low and as calm as was humanly possible, JC spoke to her, explaining what he intended to do.

            “I’ll do my best not to hurt you, honey.  We just need to clean this up and put some pressure to it.  How did you ever cut the back of your head?  Girl, no wonder you worry me so much.”

            Carefully he turned Abby to her side so that the back of her head was toward him.  Momentarily he closed his eyes and swallowed hard.  Her hair was matted close to her head, covered in her blood.  Quickly composing himself, he began to dab at her hair in an effort to clean the blood away so that he could better see the wound.  Once he had cleaned her hair of the blood, he carefully used his fingers to separate the dampened strands.  He drew in a deep breath and slowly released it. 

            “Thank God!” he murmured to himself as he finally viewed the gash right in the center of her head.  He was relieved to see that it wasn’t really that large and that the bleeding had, for the most part, nearly subsided. 

            He took the second wash cloth and began to clean the area around the wound.  When Abby moaned again, he halted his actions for a moment.

            “I’m sorry, Abby.  We really need to make sure this thing stops bleeding.”  He rested his hand on her shoulder and gave her a gentle squeeze.

            After the brief pause, JC immediately returned to the task at hand.  Having completed the cleaning of the area, he picked up a thick piece of gauze and gently placed it over the affected area.  Then, taking the roll of gauze, he knew he would have to wrap it around her head.  Gently, he cupped her head in one hand and tried to adeptly wrap the gauze around her.  After making several loops around, he stopped.  He lowered her head back to the pillow, grabbed up some medical tape, and began taping the newer gauze in place. 

            His eyes caught sight of the pillow again.  He reached to the far end of the couch and grabbed the matching pillow from that end.  Once more he lifted her head, removed the soiled pillow and replaced it with the clean one.  Slowly he lowered her back to the pillow and helped her roll back onto her back.  Leaning in, he placed a soft kiss on her forehead, hoping she would feel it through the gauze that was lying against her skin.

            Making certain that she was still covered by his jacket and the afghan, JC stood and grabbed up the stained pillow and the wash cloths he had used to cleanse her head.  He carried them to the kitchen.  Reaching beneath the sink, he retrieved a bucket.  Having filled it with cold water, he placed the cloths and pillow into the water, hoping to remove the blood without leaving any stains behind. 

            Then, he grabbed a small glass, filled it with water and carried it back to the living room.  He pulled the coffee table over to the couch and sat down on it.  His hand rested lightly on top of the afghan as he watched the steady rise and fall of her chest as she breathed.  His brow was creased with worry as he found himself wondering exactly what had happened.  His curiosity didn’t stop with how she had fallen.  He found himself trying to figure out what had gone wrong with them and their relationship, as well.  Shaking his head, he heard his voice echo in the quiet room as he spoke to her.

            “I don’t understand.  I can’t figure out what went wrong.” He closed his eyes as he tried to fight the wave of emotion that flooded over him.

            “I thought we were happy, you know?  We had it all.  At least, I thought we did.”

            He reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose.  Slowly he breathed in a deep breath and released it.  His eyes scanned her peaceful face.  He tried to focus on the present, trying to stop his mind from all of the memories.

            “What happened out there?  How did you fall?  Did you slip?  Was there ice out there?  God, did you try to get my attention?  Did I not hear you?” the last question was followed by a sad chuckle.  “Of course I didn’t hear you.  I’d never let you just lay there in the cold and wet snow, never!”  His voice trailed off.

            Slowly he dragged his hand from where it rested over her arm and gently let the back of his hand brush her cheek.  At last her lips were a normal shade of pink and her skin felt warm to his touch. 

            “Please, Abby, please just open your eyes and look at me.” His voice broke as he spoke.  “This is the hardest lesson I’ve ever had to learn, but …” he stopped himself.  He couldn’t allow himself to speak about losing her.  He couldn’t say aloud what was going through his mind.  He knew he had told her to leave.  He heard his own words telling her to get out of his life.  Yet now, faced with it, he knew he didn’t mean it.  He knew he couldn’t say it again.  He knew deep in his heart that the love he felt for her ran deeper than anything else they had been through. 

            “We’ll get through this, Abby!  I swear we’ll get through this!  Just don’t leave me!”  His voice sounded hoarse, even to his own ears.  He had to tell her how he felt.  He had to make sure she knew he didn’t want her to go, in any fashion.  He had to be certain that she knew how much he loved her.  He had to hang on to her.