YOU DON’T HAVE TO BE ALONE
Chapter 4
Without any warning, the lights flickered and then went out. Momentarily stunned, JC sat quite still, just looking around him. His finger was poised at Abby’s lips with a drop of water resting at its tip. He had been about to apply a bit of water to her mouth in an effort to try to give her some intake of liquid.
“Shit!” he cursed as he placed the glass next to him on the coffee table.
He rose to his feet and went in search of candles. Thankfully Abby had always managed to keep a supply of new candles both at his home and at the cabin. Finding the matches on the mantle above the fireplace, JC began lighting the candles. When a warm glow finally filled the room, he returned to the fireplace and again stoked the fire. Realizing that he had already placed the last piece of wood on the fire previously, he decided he’d better bring in more wood. With the power out the cabin would become quite chilled unless he managed to maintain a steady fire.
Looking around for his jacket, JC realized it was still hidden under the afghan that covered Abby. Not wanting to risk causing her a chill, he headed toward the door without any jacket. Opening the door, the chill of the night air immediately swept over him. He wrapped his arms around himself and braved the wind to head toward the pile of wood that stood a few feet from the door. Loading as many pieces as was possible into his arms, JC hurriedly raced back inside. He kicked the door closed and carried the logs over to the fireplace. Unceremoniously he dropped the wood onto the hearth. Brushing himself off and blowing on his chilled hands he turned and walked back over to Abby.
“Well, it looks like it’s going to be one hell of a night. Not only did you go and get hurt, but now we have no phones, no power and no heat. I mean, except for the fireplace. This means, old JC here had better not fall asleep. I’m going to have to stay up all night just to make sure we stay warm. At least we have your candles. I guess I shouldn’t have made fun of you every time you bought a new one, huh? I think they’re going to come in handy now. They really look nice, Abby. I wish you could see them. God, I wish you could see them.”
Sitting beside her, his leg nervously bouncing up and down, his hands alternating between wringing and running through his hair, and a never-ending diatribe of reminiscing about their past, JC tried to stay calm and think positive. He told himself to keep talking. He reminded himself that doctors always said that even the most ill of patients could hear their loved ones communicating with them. Thus, he continued to talk.
One thing was certain, if his talking didn’t wake her, it was reminding him of all the things that had made him love her. The stories of their time together gave him such a feeling of satisfaction. The times they had been apart because of his touring, there were those stories as well. He told her how he would dream of getting home to be with her. He spoke of the times he would rush to his tour bus, grab his cell phone and call her to tell her how his show had been. He went on and on, telling story after story, creating a new ache within his heart he hadn’t yet experienced.
Hanging his head, he shook it slowly in disbelief. “What have I done, Abby? I’m so stupid. I can’t believe I tried to make you leave me. I love you, Abby. I love you so much.
“It’s just that, well, that day, when you…” he hesitated. “I was there, Abby. You didn’t see me, but I was there. I was having lunch with Chris.” He stopped and looked at her peacefully resting form. “I know, I told you I didn’t have anything to do that day, but after you left, Chris called and I went to meet him. There we were, just sitting there, waiting for our food. We were running ideas by each other for a new album.” A sad smile crossed his face.
“Yeah, I know, you’ve been trying to encourage that idea for a long time. It seems like Chris had the same idea. Anyway, I looked across the restaurant and saw you. Abby, I was so excited. I had just stood up to call to you, and that’s when I saw him!” Sadness filled his blue eyes. “Who is he, Abby? Who? And why does he seem to make you so happy? I saw the way your face lit up when he walked over to you. You stood up, hugged him, and, damn it, you kissed him!” JC had to stop. His teeth were clenched and the muscle in his temple flexed from the tension.
After taking a deep breath, he continued. “Abby, I don’t know who he is or what he has to offer you. But, I love you, Abby. I can’t let you go. I thought I could, but I can’t. So,” he raised his chin, “hear this! I’m not letting you go. I’ve decided to fight for you. I’m going to make you forget him. I can give you more than he can. I can love you more than he does. I do! I already do! It’s my goal, honey. I’m going to make you forget him. I’ll make you forget everything about him.” With that said, JC grew quiet.
The fire crackled and popped as JC sat motionless. His eyes never strayed from Abby. He watched her. He waited for any sign that she might be waking up. Wearily he rubbed his hands over his face. He yawned. His neck felt stiff. He began moving his head side to side and up and down. He felt the chords in the back of his neck stretch and he groaned at the sensation. He felt exhausted. He was afraid to sleep even though his body cried out for it. Reluctantly, he gave in to the demands his being cried out for. He leaned forward and rested his head where Abby’s hands were hidden beneath the afghan. Within moments he was sleeping.
A loud snapping sound brought JC wide awake. He sat up, rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked around. There, on the hearth before the fireplace sat a smoldering ember that had leapt from the fireplace. JC forced himself up and moved over toward the now diminishing fire. He picked up the small scoop and pushed the ember back inside the opening. Then, taking the poker, he pushed the wood around, created a new blaze and added two new pieces of wood. As he set the poker back in the tool stand, he thought he heard something.
He hesitated. Slowly he turned around and allowed his gaze to stop on Abby. He watched in amazement as her brow creased, as if she were experiencing some kind of pain. As if in slow motion, JC moved toward the couch.
“Abby?” he whispered.
She drew in a quick breath and immediately a moan followed.
“Abby?” his voice was still low but louder than his whispered query before.
She groaned.
He moved beside her and dropped to his knees. He allowed his hand to brush her cheek.
“Abby, it’s me. It’s JC. I’m right here. Can you hear me?”
Her eyelids flickered as she attempted to open them. With a bit of a struggle, she pulled one hand from beneath the covers. Immediately she lifted it to her head. Again, she moaned.
“Honey, can you hear me? Open your eyes, Abby. Look at me. Please, look at me.” His tone was pleading as he tried to coerce her into waking up.
Slowly she licked her lips and opened her eyes. Her forehead was creased as she attempted to look at JC.
“Hi.” His voice was so hoarse; his one word was barely audible.
“Hurts.” She said as her hand came in contact with the gauze that was wrapped around her head.
“I know, sweetheart. I know. You must have fallen. Do you remember what happened?”
Abby tried to focus on him. A slow shake of her head told him she didn’t know what had happened.
“I brought you inside. You were lying on the ground by the car. Do you remember now?”
“On the ground?”
“Yes.”
“Don’t … remember.”
“It’s okay. You will I’m sure. You just need to rest right now. Can I get you anything?”
Though somewhat disoriented, Abby tried to figure out where she was.
“The cabin?” she asked as her eyes scanned her surroundings.
“Yes.”
“But?”
“Shhhh! We’re not going to talk about that. You’re here. I’m here. Right now, that’s all that matters.”
Her voice was weak. “I was leaving.”
“Let’s not talk about that, okay?”
Her brown eyes looked at him. Her head was pounding. Her thoughts were jumbled. Somewhere in her mind she knew things were not as they should be, but things escaped her and she couldn’t remember all the details.
She shivered. JC noticed instantly. Instinctively he reached down and tucked the afghan around her tighter.
“Do you want me to make a bigger fire?” he asked.
“No. Maybe you could just turn up the furnace.”
JC smiled weakly. “I can’t, honey. There’s a power outage. We’re strictly running on fire power – both for heat and light. It’s a good thing you liked candles.” He winked at her.
“The power is out? JC, what’s going on?” she tried to sit up. Instantly, her hands rose to her head and she practically screamed out in pain. “OH!”
Grabbing her shoulders, JC helped ease her back to the pillow.
“Abby, please don’t sit up. You need to lay still. You hit your head, honey. I’m not quite sure how, but you hit your head. You’ve got quite a cut on the back of it. I cleaned it up, but I’m sure you’re going to have one hell of a headache for a while. Please just rest.”
With her head back on the pillow, she looked back up at JC. Realization dawned to her.
“I was leaving.”
Abby watched as all the color drained from JC’s face. Words escaped him and his only reply was a sad nod of his head.
“It was snowing.”
“Yes.”
“It was snowing really hard.” Abby was struggling to remember the details.
“Yes.”
Confusion was etched on her face. Her brown eyes searched his blue eyes. Things were not making any sense. She tried to understand what had happened.
“JC, you told me to get out.”
Instantly she saw something flash in his eyes. For a brief moment he closed his eyes tightly and then slowly reopened them. A slow nod of his head was the only reply she received.
“Then, what am I doing…”
“I told you, Abby, you fell. I brought you back inside.”
“Thank you, I guess.”
Again, JC merely nodded.
With extreme effort, Abby forced herself to sit up. Her head was pounding. Her vision wasn’t quite clear. Her heart still ached from the argument they had had earlier. No matter, she knew she had to get away from him.
“Excuse me.” She said as she attempted to swing her legs around to rest her feet on the floor. JC’s body blocked her and she attempted to draw her knees in enough so as to get past him.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
“I’m trying to get up.” Came her reply as she maneuvered her legs and guided her feet to rest beside him.
“Abby, I really don’t think that’s a wise idea. You hit your head.”
“No offense, JC, but honestly, I bumped my head, I did not kill myself. Thank you for bringing me inside. I think it’s time I got out of your way.”
JC jumped to his feet as she attempted to stand for the first time. He watched as she teetered while trying to gain her balance. Without hesitation, he reached out and put his hand on her back to help steady her.
“What do you think you’re doing?” she snapped at him.
“You’re going to fall over if I don’t watch you.”
“I don’t think so. Thanks, but I’m not your problem any more.”
“You’ve never been a problem, Abby. Don’t talk like that.”
With her lips pursed, she released a deep sigh. Her head ached badly. She knew her vision wasn’t what it should be, yet she knew she couldn’t stay with him. Trying to gain her nerve, she drew a deep breath and turned to move around the couch.
“Thanks, again, JC.” She began moving toward the front door.
With eyes wide as saucers, JC watched as Abby made her way to the door. Seemingly paralyzed, he stood motionless. Words escaped him. He watched helplessly as her hand reached out and grabbed the doorknob. The night air was cold as she pulled the door open and the brisk breeze of the winter storm outside found its way inside. The wind pushed the door open wider, causing Abby to stumble backward. She didn’t lose her footing, but was taken by surprise by the force of the arctic blast that invaded the warm confines of the cabin. Abby looked down at herself. No coat. Her eyes scanned around the cabin in search of her winter jacket.
“May I have my coat, JC?”
His brow creased. He shook his head. He stood his ground.
“JC, I can’t go out in this without my coat. Please, may I have my coat?”
“No.”
Her eyes widened in disbelief.
“You’re not leaving.”
“Excuse me?”
“I said you’re not leaving.”
His eyes never left her face. Slowly, he moved from in front of the couch. His legs guided him to stand directly in front of her. Her hands dropped away from the door. His hand grabbed the heavy wooden door and forcefully slammed it closed.
“You’re not leaving until we’ve finished talking. There are things I have to say.”
“You’ve said all there is to say.”
“Oh no, I have not. Now, you can go over there and sit down while we talk, or I can carry you. It’s your choice.”
“I don’t…”
“I said it’s your choice. Choose!”
