You Don’t Have To Be Alone

Chapter 6

            At first glance, it appeared that Abby had fallen into a deep sleep.  Thinking she would sleep for some time, JC allowed himself the luxury of dozing off in the plush leather arm chair.  However, a deep sleep eluded Abby.  A fitful, dream-filled sleep overtook her.  Dreams of a different time came into view as Abby was presented with a slow motion visual of her past with the man who refused to allow her to leave. 

            Smiling crystal blue eyes met her.  Her eyes scanned his face.  It was the face of a man both happy and in love.  There was never a time that she would look at JC and he wouldn’t smile at her.  Often he commented on how his day would brighten just having her walk into the same room he occupied.  Her head tossed slowly as she advanced further into the dream.  She felt his warm hand caress her cheek.  She saw herself lean into his hand as she melted into his gentle touch.  His voice cooed words of love over her like a soft spring rain falls on the delicate petals of the newly blooming rose.  Her heart was bursting with the love she felt for him. 

            In her dream she slowly opened her eyes.  Suddenly, smiling eyes were replaced by glaring cold eyes.  The gently caressing hand was now transformed into an angry gripping hand on her upper arm, holding her fast in front of him.  Softly spoken words of love were now heated words of anger.  Where she had been leaning into his hand, she now longed to pull away from him.  He was a stranger to her.  He was someone she didn’t know.  His temper was flaring and she had no idea why.  His words were accusatory.  She had done nothing, yet he made her feel like she was the most terrible person on the face of the earth.  She sensed a hatred for her where once there had been love.  She felt helpless and frightened. 

            “I want you out of my life!”  His words echoed over and over in her mind.  Tears streamed down her face.  Her body shook with the hurt and frustration that raced through her.  Every time she opened her mouth to speak, he would silence her.  She couldn’t express her confusion or question where his anger was coming from.  Abby was defeated before she had even begun.

            Roughly he released her arms, causing her to stumble backward.

            “JC?” she heard his name drift from her lips.  In the dream, she repeated it over and over.  He was leaving her.  He was moving away.  No matter how many times she said his name; no matter how loud she called to him, he kept drifting further away.  Suddenly, with all the strength she could pull from deep inside her, she screamed his name at the top of her lungs.

            The sound of Abby’s voice in the quiet cottage roused JC from his sound sleep.  He jumped from the chair and hurriedly moved over to the couch.  Confusion covered his face as he looked down on her still sleeping form.  He watched as her body trembled beneath the afghan and tears streamed from behind her closed eyelids.  Her lips quivered as she mumbled his name again.

            Helplessly, he dropped to his knees.  His hand gently brushed aside a few stray tendrils of hair from her face.  Softly he wiped the tears that had streaked down her temples.

            “What did I do?” he heard her whisper from her sleep induced state.

            Immediately his brow creased as he realized she was dreaming about their argument.  He felt like a jerk.  He hated how much he had hurt her.  He was upset over all of the things he had said to her.  JC wished with his whole heart that he could take back everything and start over.  All he wanted to do was find out who the man was.  The feelings of betrayal were not worth losing the one person who loved him unconditionally.  Yet, he had done his best to hurt her and remove her from his life.  How could he have been so wrong?

            Cautiously he placed his hand along side her cheek.  He allowed his thumb to lightly stroke her moist temple.  He whispered words to try to comfort her before she woke from the dreadful nightmare she was having.

            Her voice came out strained and broken as she whispered his name again.  He watched helplessly as she drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around her waist as she slept.

            “Abby?” he swallowed as he whispered her name.

            A quiet sob was the only response he received.

            “Abby, I’m here for you.  Please wake up, baby.”

            Suddenly JC felt a knot in his stomach and he drew in a deep breath as he tried to push back the emotions he was feeling.  He watched helplessly as her eyelids slowly fluttered open and she tried to acclimate herself to her surroundings.  JC forced himself to smile as her eyes landed on his face.

            “Hi.” His voice was weak as he muttered that one word.

            For a moment, she stared blankly at him.  Her last vision of him was one of anger and hatred.  Yet, as she gazed upon him, those were not the emotions she saw.  Still disoriented, she reached up with a shaky hand and allowed her fingertips to touch his cheek.  His eyes closed immediately at the sensation.

            “JC?” she questioned.

            “I’m here, baby.” He opened his eyes and met her gaze.

            “You were so angry with me.” A silent tear streaked down her temple again.

            He nodded.  “I was, yes.”

            Her hand fell to rest on her stomach.  “Why?”

            He could only look at her.  That one word held so much more than just a simple reason.  Yet, if he tried to put his feelings into words, they didn’t form.  If he were honest with himself, he couldn’t tell her what had been racing through him.  His mouth was dry and he found it difficult to speak.

            “JC, please tell me what I did?”

            His blue eyes were filled with pain at the recollection of seeing her in that restaurant.  He closed them to hide his feelings from her.  The back of the man’s head flashed in his mind.  The question of who he was came to light again.  He wanted to know who the man was and why she seemed so happy to see him. 

            “Abby, I…” his words were cut off by the sound of a creaking branch and then the loud crashing sound as it broke free of its host and crashed onto the roof of the cabin.

            A loud gasp came from Abby as she waited for the fallen branch to crash through the roof of the cabin.

            “It’s okay, baby.  The weight of the snow was probably too much for it.  We’re okay.  Luckily this place was built to withstand a blizzard.”  He chuckled.  “I guess we’re finding that out.”

            She waited for him to answer her question.  His eyes scanned her face and slowly he withdrew his hand from her face.

            With a cough, JC rose to his feet.

            “I’m going to get a few more pieces of wood for the fire.  I’ll be right back.”  He turned to head to the door.  As he reached for his leather jacket she called out to him.  He stopped.

            “I need to know, JC.  I need to know what I did.”

            He shrugged into his jacket.  “I’ll be right back.”

            Hurriedly he rushed outside, grabbed four pieces of wood and ran back inside.  The snow was still falling moderately and the pathway to the woodpile was nearly impossible to walk through.  His jeans were covered up to the knees in snow and his dark hair was white in the snowy blanket that had fallen on him in just those few brief moments he had been outside.  He carried the wood to the fireplace, set the pieces down on the hearth and picked up the poker to stoke the embers that were fading there.  Once he had stirred them, he placed two of the larger pieces of wood on them, and nearly immediately there were flames licking over the wood.  He brushed his hands off on his thighs and moved toward the kitchen.  Abby watched his movements silently, wondering why he was avoiding her question.

            “Would you like a sandwich, Abby?  I do have some peanut butter and some bread.  It could help us get through the night.”

            “Alright, JC.”  She answered quietly.

            He smiled and muttered his pleasure at her acceptance.    Within moments JC had put together two peanut butter sandwiches.  As he brought the plate into the living room area, Abby noticed that he had put some potato chips on the plate as well.  A large glass of water was in his other hand and he carefully set both things on the table.

            “Do you need help to sit up?” he asked.

            Abby shook her head and carefully brought herself to a seated position.  JC had cut the sandwiches in half and being ever the gentleman, he picked one half up and handed it to her.

            “Just a few bites, hon.  You don’t need to eat the whole thing.”

            Abby nodded as she accepted the sandwich.  Surprisingly, she felt hungry as she took the first bite out of the sandwich.

            “Is it okay?”  JC asked as he watched her chew.

            “Yes.” She managed through her mouth full.

            He smiled and continued to watch her.  He seemed practically mesmerized by the movement of her lips as she slowly ate the sandwich.  When her tongue snuck out to lick the corners of her mouth, he felt a longing deep inside him that he attempted to cover by coughing and running a hand through his hair.

            “What’s the matter?” she asked innocently.

            “Nothing’s wrong, Abby.  I’m just glad you’re at least eating something.  Would you like the other half?”

            “No, thank you.  I think this is enough.”  She slipped the last bite into her mouth and brushed her hands off on her lap.  As she swallowed the sandwich down, she reached over to retrieve the glass of water.

            “What time is it?” she asked as she brought the cool liquid to her lips.

            Moving his arm toward the nearby candle, JC struggled to check the time.  His eyebrows arched in surprise.

            “Wow, it’s really late.”

            “It is?”

            “Yeah, it’s two-thirty!  I didn’t realize it had gotten so late.”  He looked toward the window.  “I can’t believe the storm hasn’t died down at all.”

            Abby turned her gaze toward the same window.

            “I need to go home.” She told him quietly.

            “You can’t.”  He responded simply.

            Her brown eyes drifted to his face.  In the candlelight she couldn’t help but notice his chiseled features.  His blue eyes seemed almost hooded by his forehead and his appearance was nearly gaunt-like.  She struggled not to reach out and touch his face.

            “JC, you made it quite clear that I shouldn’t be here.  I think you’re really going to have to face the fact that I need to leave.”

            “Do you have any idea what it’s like out there?  I don’t think you do.  Abby, I could barely make it to the wood pile.  How in the hell do you think you’re going to make it home?  Baby, there’s no way you’ll even make it out of the driveway.”

            “I have to try.”

            “No!” his reply came out more stern than he intended and he saw her flinch at the tone of his voice.  Instantly, he placed a reassuring hand on her knee and apologized.

            Her look was instantly filled with confusion.

            “Now, tell me Abby, what kind of man would I be to let you leave this cabin at nearly three o’clock in the morning in a blizzard?”

            “You’d be the same man that told me fifteen hours ago to get the hell out of your life.”  Abby’s cold reply came quickly and without as much as the batting of eyelashes. 

            JC was visibly stunned.  He knew she was right.  He wanted to tell her how much he had changed his mind.  The self-doubt he felt was overwhelming.

            “Abby, you have to…”

            Immediately she raised a hand to silence him.

            “No, JC!  I don’t have to do anything except get out of here.  I have long overstayed my welcome and I am heading out.  Now, if you’d be so kind as to get my coat, I’ll be leaving.”

            “Why do you have to be so stubborn?”

            “Me?”

            “Yes, you!  You know the damned roads are impassible.  You know the snow is falling at a phenomenal rate.  Yet, you insist that you have to leave.  Get over it, Abby.  You aren’t going anywhere.”

            Her eyes widened at the display of attitude being tossed in her direction.

            “Did you just tell me to get over it?”

            JC nodded.

            “You are an arrogant, inconsiderate, self-righteous son of a bitch!”  Abby’s voice rose as her entire being filled with anger.

            “I don’t think so.”

            “Of course you don’t think so.  It’s you we’re talking about.  I wouldn’t expect you to see yourself as I do.  But, the fact remains, you threw me out of here.  You threw me out of your life.  What in heaven’s name makes you think I even want to be in the same room with you now?”

            His mind raced to find an answer.

            “I saved your ass!”

            “Oh wow!”  she gasped and grabbed at her heart.  “Oh thank you, kind sir!”

            “Don’t be a smartass, Abby!”

            A sardonic chuckle came from somewhere in her throat and she shook her head at him.

            “Do you honestly believe that because you brought me inside, even though I was unconscious, I’d want to stay here with you?”

            “I bandaged your head.”  JC’s tone was soft and unwavering.

            “Well, la-di-da!  A doctor would have done the same thing.  Why didn’t you just call for an ambulance?”

            “Because, firstly, the phone lines were down.  Secondly, I wasn’t going to wait for some freaking doctor to show up when I could easily take care of you myself.  And, thirdly, I wanted to take care of you.”

            “Oh, be still my heart.  You are a true knight in shining armor, aren’t you?” her voice dripped with sarcasm.

            “Abby, please don’t be like this.”

            “Don’t be like what?  Don’t be angry?  Don’t be hurt?  Don’t be utterly and completely fed up?  Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t be any of those things.”

            “Abby, I fed you.”

            Her eyebrows arched in disbelief.

            “That’s it!”  she jumped to her feet.  “I am out of here!”

            JC rose to his feet and moved to stand in front of her.

            “I already told you, you can’t leave.”

            “I’m telling you, Mr. Chasez, you can’t stop me!”

            Without another word, JC reached out, took Abby by her shoulders and pulled her close to him.  Lowering his head, his eyes never leaving hers, he brought his mouth crashing down against hers.  His lips moved over hers, claiming them, making them his.  He felt her resistance.  She fought against him, strongly at first and then gradually relinquishing control over to him.  He felt her body relax as his lips moved against hers.  He heard a small moan come from her when he let his tongue press against her lips.  He felt a stirring deep inside him that he knew he needed to control, yet he felt helpless to do so. 

            She leaned into him.  Cursing herself, she felt her resolve weakening with each second that ticked past.  Her mind was telling her to push him away but her heart was telling her to grab on to him and hold him for all she was worth.  As her heart began to win, she brought her arms up and easily wrapped them around his waist. 

            Breathlessly, JC broke the kiss.  Lifting his head, he gazed down on her through lust-filled smoky eyes.  He stood motionless, waiting for her eyes to drift open.  Slowly, dark brown eyes met crystal blue eyes.  She was breathless, too.

            “That’s why you can’t leave, Abby.  I love you.”