“How come you’re crying?”
Kyra looks up to see a little boy looking at her curiously. He is taller than she is, maybe by three or four inches, or maybe not that much. He’s so skinny that it’s hard to tell.
She sniffs and looks away from him toward the driveway where a moving van is backed up to the front door and men are bringing in boxes and furniture into the house.
“I lost my Puffy.”
“What’s a Puffy?” He asks quietly as he moves closer to where she is sitting on the grass underneath a large oak tree.
“He’s a puffin. And he’s my Puffy. I don’t know where he is,” she answers and picks at the grass moodily.
He takes a seat next to her. “What’s a puffin?”
She looks up and eyes him skeptically. “A puffin is a seabird and I see them all the time.” The skepticism leaves her young voice and she adds quietly, “Well before we moved here.”
The boy nods quietly and they both watch the movers continue their task from their spot under the tree. She sniffs a few more times until all of a sudden the boy stands up quickly and turns to her. “I’ll be right back.”
She watches him run toward the house next to hers, pull open the back door quickly and disappear inside. The sound of the screen door slapping is barely gone from the air before she sees him running back toward her holding something in his hand. When he gets close enough for her to reach, he outstretches the object and offers it to her.
“Here. He’s not a bird. He’s not really puffy either, but maybe he’s good enough until you find your Puffy?”
He grins widely showing a gap between his two front teeth.
She reaches for the stuffed animal which is a lanky giraffe in bright colors. “What’s his name?” She asks as she inspects it more closely.
“I don’t really have a name for him...but maybe we can call him Skinny? He’s got really skinny legs.”
She giggles and hugs the stuffed animal closely, a bright smile appearing on her face for the first time in hours as she thanks him. “What’s your name?”
“I’m Josh.”
*
“It’s pretty,” JC said as he looked at the rather large diamond ring nestled inside the black velvet box resting in his hand.
“Gorgeous,” she agreed as she nodded and tightened her grip on her knees which she had hugged to her chest. Her back was leaned against the armrest of her love seat and he was sitting next to her with his socked feet resting on the coffee table in front of him. “I tried to give it back to him but he refused. Said that he couldn’t imagine giving it to someone else.” She winced slightly as she said it.
He nodded and gingerly ran the tip of his finger over the glittering diamond before he glanced at her and noticed that she was staring at it as well but had tears shining in her eyes.
He snapped the ring box closed and covered it in his fist. “Do you regret breaking up with him?”
She took a moment to answer as she still stared at where the ring had been. She blinked and shook her head slowly. “No.”
He could tell there was more to the story but he didn’t want to press her yet as he didn’t know if she would be willing to share those intimate details with him anymore.
And even though they’d had an “almost moment” earlier when he’d basically re-enacted the mushiest scene in one of her romance novels and kissed her, it had only lasted a mere second before all of the lights in the house had turned back on. The moment had been broken and they’d both pulled apart, taking in the sound of a radio coming back on loudly from another room and the sound of her appliances whirring to life. Then, after spending an uncomfortable moment looking at each other, she’d suggested that they should probably talk.
So now, after a shower on his part and a refilled glass of wine on hers, they were sitting on the couch having that talk. He wasn’t sure where this conversation was going to lead, but at least he felt like he might get to know where he stood with her at this point.
He watched her quietly for a few more moments before her asked the question he felt like he needed to know but may regret asking. “Did he hurt you?”
He was relieved when the question sat her up straighter and she shook her head adamantly. “No, never.” She sort of sighed and deflated a moment later, leaning back against the couch. “I did though. Hurt him, I mean.”
He narrowed his eyes in confusion which prompted her to continue,”I hurt him. He loved me. A lot. And I...I just broke it off.”
She reached forward and took a sip of her wine before placing the glass back onto the coffee table in front of them. “He was perfect. The kind of guy that comes right out of my romance novels you know? Kind, romantic, funny...good looking, rich.” She shrugged.
“But you didn’t love him?” He asked and she shifted causing the blanket covering her legs to slide down. He reached for it and placed it back over her legs.
She looked at him and nibbled at her lip, she seemed to be debating something in her head. “I did at one time but I don’t think…” She trailed off and looked away. When she finished her sentence it came out as barely a whisper. “I don’t think it was enough.”
“Enough for him or for you?”
“For me. I realised that I would never be able to love him as much as he loved me and I didn’t think it was fair for me to do that to him. I just…I knew I’d never be able to give him all of me you know? That he could never have my whole heart...” She shook her head and seemed to not know how to continue. The tears that had been threatening finally started sliding down her cheeks.
He reached out and without thinking any more of it wiped one of them off her cheek with his thumb. “It’s okay, Sweetheart.”
She half hiccupped at that and reached up to grab his hand. “All these years that have gone by, Josh and I’m still clinging to someone who many not even exist anymore. Someone who in his hand,” She turned his hand so that its palm faced upwards. “Still holds part of my heart hostage…”
He felt like a ton of bricks hit him in the chest at her words and he reached forward again to frame her face gently in his hand. “Ky, I...I don’t know how to make this right but I want to. I want to so bad...just let me try okay? I’m here aren’t I? I drove almost 24 hours straight to get back to you and tell you that I need you.”
At his last words her eyebrows raised in surprise and he nodded, confirming his words. “I need you, I do. I don’t know what’s happening with my life right now; with the band, with my solo career, with anything really but what I do know is that I want to be here while I figure it out.”
“What do you-” She started and he finished.
“I thought maybe you could use some help with the house...I know I’m not the greatest handyman, but we could learn together right? I mean, if you wouldn’t mind having me around…”
He trailed off and she watched him quietly for what seemed like a long time until she nodded slowly.
“OK.”
“OK?”
“OK,” she repeated softly and nodded again.
She was still holding his hand and he shifted it so he could link his fingers with hers. She looked down at their joined hands and sighed.
“I’m not ready to be with you, or even think of being with you...I need a little time. Time to reconcile my memories of you with who you are now. And I just….I just need to remember. Remember you, remember me, remember us.”
At this her eyes lifted to his and he nodded quietly. She looked conflicted again and then in a deliberate move she was straddling his lap and her hands were framing in face. She looked him straight in the eyes as if she was searching for something then slowly she leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.
The kiss was slow and measured. And although there was a clear sense of yearning in the push and pull of their lips, their bodies held no tension and there were no hurried catches of breath or gripping of clothing. It was simply two lovers getting to know each other again with every brush of lip and stroke of tongue. Lips that had once known the roadmap to each other's hearts finally finding their home. Or like a warm hug shared between long lost friends that made them feel like they’d never actually been apart.
Though he could have kept kissing her for hours, he pulled his lips back and opened his eyes to find her with her eyes closed and her lips parted. Her breath feathered his damp lips as he whispered, “Do you remember now?”
With a very slight shake of her head and her eyes still closed she whispered back. “Turns out I never forgot…”
*
