Charlie,

I hate to run out on our plans for Saturday but unfortunately I got a call for work that I have to handle.  Real life rears its ugly head.  I’m not sure when or if I will be able to make it back anytime soon.  My number is below.  I hope you use it.

Talk to you soon.

Josh

Charlie ran her thumb over JC’s written name on the note he scribbled her.  He had flourished the the ‘H’ in his name making a little smiley face.  While corny, she also found it kind of cute.  She had stared at that damn note every day now for two weeks.  She hadn’t gotten the courage to call like he asked.

This was the note that he had left at the front desk of the hotel when he checked out in the middle of the night a couple days after their fishing trip.  The plans he referenced bailing on was a late lunch get together before her shift at the bar.  He had run into her in the hotel lobby and asked her to lunch.

When Saturday rolled around, Charlie sat inside the diner across from the bar for nearly a half hour waiting for JC.  She didn’t have his number at the time and she had never given him hers.  She called the hotel, asking to be transferred to his room.  The front desk clerk informed her that he had checked out suddenly but had left a note.

It pissed her off to no end that she was disappointed in his disappearance.  She was kicking herself for having formed any type of attachment, no matter how small at the moment.  She tried to convince herself to have enjoyed the little bit of attention, knowing that it was only temporary.  He’d go back to his popstar life and forget about her.  She desperately wanted to be okay with that.

Two and a half years.  That’s how long it had been since Charlie had formed any kind of bond with another human being.  Everyone that she had encountered since moving to town she managed to keep at arm's length, even the deputy.  While they periodically had sex, she felt no attachment to him.  Simple exchanges of pleasantries but nothing too meaningful.  This kept the wall around her heart firmly in tact.  No chance for pain.

Why was it that a random encounter with JC continued to get under her skin and now moved to invade her thoughts constantly?  She randomly encountered people, including hot guys, regularly.  She lived in a town that thrived on tourism.  Thousands passed through Cannon Beach in the summer time.

Numerous times over the last two weeks, Charlie has crumpled up and thrown away JC’s impersonal goodbye note.  She had no intention of ever using his phone number.  She told herself that he likely gave her a fake number.  He was easing the blow of bailing out.

Each time she threw the paper away, she would retrieve it from the trash; smoothing out the wrinkles.  She’d run her fingers over his name.  A ghost of a smile played on her lips thinking about each of their encounters.  He was the first person in two and half years that had wormed past the outer layer of the protective fortress she built around herself.  She had never had anyone over to her house since she moved in until him.  

Why?

That was the question she kept asking herself.  Why had he shown up in Cannon Beach?  Why had he come back?  Why did he make a point to seek her out numerous times?  Why had she allowed him into her small bubble of protection?  Why did she continue to torture herself with thoughts of him?  Why was the smell of his cologne still imprinted in her brain?

“Charlie?  Can I get a little help?  It’s picking up.”  Charlie glanced up at the young bartender that had poked her head into the back office, shaking the thoughts of him from her mind for a brief moment.  It was another Saturday night and the regulars were wandering in for their weekly escape from reality.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in a sec.”  Charlie shoved the battered paper that was JC’s note into her purse.  She planned to burn it when she got home after her shift tonight.  He was gone.  He’d long forgotten her and wouldn’t be back.  Life moves on.  She should know better than anyone.

People always leave.

***

Seventeen long hours of driving.

That’s how long it had taken JC to drive straight through from LA to Cannon Beach.  He was nearly delirious when he finally parked his truck around the corner from the bar.  He contemplated flying and renting a car but since he again had no real itinerary for how long he planned to stay, driving himself was more cost effective.

That was one of the few facts those stupid teen magazines got right.  JC didn’t consider himself cheap but he was always conscious of what he spent his money on.    

It had been two weeks since he had last been in Oregon.  His manager had called him late one night telling him he needed to get home to rehearse and promote for an upcoming appearance.  It was a televised performance on ‘Good Morning America’ that he was excited for.  No one says no to Smokey Robinson.

JC hated that all he had done was leave Charlie a note.  He didn’t want to creep her out by showing up at her house uninvited.  He hated more that she hadn’t called him.  He thought the chances were slim but he held out hope.  He did try calling the bar and hotel a few times, leaving messages for her but she never called back.

Charlie had dominated his thoughts his entire time away from Cannon Beach.  Something about her drew him in.  He wanted to be in her presence.  Besides her influence on his writing, he felt a comfort around her; he felt at ease.  He had been in relationships in the past with women that he eventually fell in love with but never had this sense of calm ever occurred.

JC liked the feeling.  He just needed to get her to open up more to him.  He had started that before his abrupt departure.  He took her not calling him back after leaving her messages that she didn’t expect to ever see him again.  He hoped she wouldn’t be scared away by his sudden return.  He felt compelled to be there.

The clock on the dash showed that it was nearing eleven PM.  He had been on the road since five AM.  He knew he should have just gone to the hotel and went to bed but he wanted, needed to see Charlie.  Any exhaustion that he felt from the long drive had dissipated for the moment due to his excitement of what waiting for him inside the bar.

JC exited his vehicle and pulled his jacket tighter around him to try to fend off the cold October air.  He inhaled deeply, enjoying the fresh, clean smell of the unpolluted air.  As was typical of this part of the country, it had recently rained and the air was saturated with moisture.

He hurried to the entrance of the bar, hoping that Charlie hadn’t already performed.  As he passed the window, he could see she was already on stage.  He slipped into the warm space, tucking himself in a dark corner to watch, hoping she didn’t see him yet.  His eyes were drawn to her like a magnet, unable to look away.  He smiled at the slight irony of the song she was singing at the moment.

Baby, baby, baby when all your love is gone
Who will save me from all I'm up against out in this world
And maybe, maybe, maybe
You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come on home

Let that city take you in (come on home)
Let that city spit you out (come on home)
Let that city take you down, yeah
For god sakes turn around

Baby, baby, baby when all your love is gone
Who will save me from all I'm up against out in this world
Yeah well, maybe, maybe, maybe
You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don’t receive you
Well, turn yourself around and come on home

While Cannon Beach wasn’t JC’s home, he was surely needing to escape the bright lights of celebdom for a moment and Charlie was a great distraction.  He watched her from his dark corner as she leaned over to the lead singer of the band to whisper something to him.

The crowd looked to be the usual group of locals with a mixture of wide-eyed tourists that had stumbled upon the place by chance.  Lots of chatter filled the air as the band geared up for the next song.  His eyes landed on Charlie again.

God, she’s beautiful was all JC could think.  She dressed as she normally did in jeans and a fitted sweater.  No makeup and her long brown hair hung in loose waves around her shoulders.  She was so natural, so real.  She had an air of confidence about her when she was singing.  He wanted to see that confidence in her off the stage.

The guitar riff of a popular Green Day song began to play.  This caused JC to chuckle softly.  He was interested to see how it sounded sung by a woman.

Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go
So make the best of this test and don't ask why
It's not a question but a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable but in the end is right
I hope you had the time of your life

As he expected, Charlie’s voice glided gracefully through the lyrics.  She seemed to pick the most appropriate songs in his opinion.  Though he wished she would sing more uptempo, happier songs occasionally.  

The song closed with a loud reaction from the bar patrons.  Most of the band exited the stage, one guy lagging behind to move an electric keyboard in front of Charlie.  She gave the man a sweet smile as she situated herself in front of the instrument.  

JC held his breath for several moments.  He had no idea she played.  He recalled seeing a small grand piano in the corner of her living room but figured it was decoration.

“Okay guys.  This last one is for all the couples out there.  Grab the one you love and dance along.”  Charlie took a few slow breaths before her fingers began to move over the keys.  JC knew the song instantly.  It was a Bob Dylan song that was covered by Adele not too many years ago.  It wasn’t uptempo but it was slightly happier than her previous choices.

When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

A good portion of the fifty or so patrons were dancing with a partner.  A drunk older woman danced by herself near the edge of the dance floor.  JC was more in awe of Charlie in that moment if it was at all possible.  The fact she played an instrument drew him in even more.

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
no doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy, make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love

To make you feel my love

“Thank you.”  Charlie bowed to the adoring crowd and hopped off the stage to return to helping the other bartender.  She was tendering a transaction at the cash register when her counterpart for the night, Sadie, slid next to her, bumping her hip with Charlie’s.

“Your popstar stalker is here.”  Sadie was young, early twenties with blond hair and bright green eyes.  Her skin tight jeans and tank top left little to the imagination.  Her theory was it roped in better tips.  Charlie begged to differ but Sadie was a good worker so she didn’t harp on her too much for her choice in clothing.

“Hush.  I know.  I saw him creep in.”  Charlie’s eyes didn’t waver from her task of making change.  She turned back to the customer she was helping to see that JC was leaning against the bar, a devilish smile playing on his lips.

He had on his signature baseball hat to semi hide his face.  He was wearing a pair of black rimmed glasses and he was clean shaven.  This was the first time Charlie had seen him clean shaven (in person, that is).  She wasn’t sure why, but her eyes lingered on his lips longer than they should have to not seem creepy.

“Here you are dear.”  Charlie snapped out of her momentary trance, handing the change back to the man she had just rung up.  She moved the few steps down the bar to JC.  Her face was pleasant but blank; her eyes, emotionless.  “What are you having tonight?”

“Well hello to you as well.”  JC was slightly miffed that she went straight into business mode.  Not even a simple hello.  He watched her swallow a lump in her throat.

“Hi.”  She offered nothing else, waiting for him give his drink order.  Truthfully, he didn’t really want a drink but ordered a beer so as not seem like he was loitering for no reason.

“I’m really sorry I had to run out in the middle of the night a few weeks ago.  It was an emergency.”  JC took a slow sip of his beer as his change was placed in front of him.  Charlie just shrugged, making light of it.

“As you said in your note, life happens.”

“Well, at least let me make it up to you.  We had a date and I plan on keeping my word.”  JC offered a warm smile to get Charlie to open up.

“Please tell me you didn’t come all the way back from wherever you came from to buy me a ten dollar sandwich?  If it so compelled you, you should have just mailed the cash and we’d have been even.”  Charlie grinned wryly, shaking her head in amazement.

“I planned on springing for dessert too so ten wouldn’t have covered it.  As I said, I keep my word.”  JC reached slowly across the bar to take her hand resting atop the bar.  She pulled back when she caught his movement.

“Well, thank you for the offer but I’m gonna have to decline this time.”  Charlie moved to walk away but this time he managed to catch her gently by the wrist.  Her eyes stayed on their joined hands for several moments before raising to meet his.  His smile was warm.

“Come on.  Please?”  His thumb moved back and forth across her hand, trying to encourage her to change her mind.

“I’ve got customers,” was all Charlie offered before pulling away to tend to other patrons.

At that moment, her rejection along with the painfully long drive back to Cannon Beach caused JC to feel his exhaustion ten fold.  Charlie watched from the corner of her eye as he abandoned his full beer, leaving the bar abruptly.  A breath that she had been holding for God knows how long came out in a deep sigh.

She was going to burn that note when she got home

***

Charlie was never so thankful when she finally locked up the bar and started to make the short walk to her truck.  Seeing JC again had drained her, even though the interaction was brief.  She was confused why he showed up again.  

Was he looking to get laid?  He could very well do that back home.  No need to come hundreds of miles for sex.

She was trying her best to keep him at arm’s length to prevent any attachments yet he still came back.  This was getting too out of control for her liking.  Right now, she just really needed sleep.

“Charlie!”  The sound of rapid footfalls hitting the wet pavement startled Charlie as she reached for the driver side door handle.  She immediately recognized the voice as JC’s.  She didn’t move to face him.  “Wait up.”

He came to a stop less than a foot away from her, waiting for her to turn to face him.  She didn’t.  She stayed facing her truck, her head bowed, her eyes closed as she silently wished him to go away.

“Josh……”  A warm feeling came over JC.  It started in his head and moved rapidly through his entire body.  This was the first time he actually heard her say his name out loud and he rather enjoyed it.  He closed the last bit of space between them.  

“That’s the first time you’ve ever said my name.”  Her head still down, Charlie tilted her head slightly in JC’s direction.  He reached out to her, placing both of his hands on her upper arms.  Leaning in slightly, his senses were taken over by the smell of her.  The fruity yet slightly spicy smell of her shampoo, the delicate scent of her feminine perfume, the clean smell of her clothes even with the scents of the bar mixed in.

“Why are you here?”  Her voice was barely above a whisper.  She felt froze in place, trapped between JC and the truck.  His hands slowly rubbed up and down her arms.  He leaned closely to her ear.  His breath hot on her neck which caused a shiver to run down Charlie’s back.

“You.”  She moved to release his hands from her arms.  Her hand went to pull open the door but his hand blocked the movement.  She whipped around to finally face him.  Her face angry but her eyes still blank and lifeless.  He took a step back from her.

At this point, JC just wanted to see some form of emotion in her eyes.  Even if it was anger, fear, resentment, some type of damn feeling.  Anything.  

“Are you looking for an easy fuck because I hate to break it to you Josh, you’re barking up the wrong damn tree?”  There it was.  He finally saw a flash of anger spark in her eyes which caused him to smile.  This really pissed off Charlie.  “Did I say something funny?!?”

“I’m not looking for an easy fuck, as you put it, honey.  I don’t need to travel this far for a lay.  I actually thought we had a connection and I liked hanging out with you.  I wasn’t purposely on a road trip looking for a connection with someone but I found one.”

“You call one fishing trip and a few run ins a connection?  Is this kind of popstar outreach program where you find a lonely woman in a small town and break her out of her shell?  I’ll pass but thanks.”  The sarcasm was dripping thickly from Charlie’s words.  JC’s head fell back and his eyes closed.  She obviously knew who he was.  

“How long have you known who I am?”

“Oh please spare me!  Don’t go get a big ego on me.  I don’t live under a rock, JC.”  It was his turn to meet her eye to eye with anger.  Other than the fishing trip, this was the most he had gotten her to talk.  Even if they were arguing, he didn’t want it to stop.

“It’s Josh.  JC is my stage name.  Don’t use my stage name.”  Charlie didn’t realize this would created such a forceful reaction from him.  Her eyes fell to ground.  She just wanted the conversation to be over.  “Look, I’m sorry I snapped.  I wasn’t sure if you knew who I was.  I wasn’t trying to hide it but I’m not flaunting it either.  I was looking to get away for awhile.  I threw caution to the wind and decided to take a fucking road trip.  I needed to decompress and clear my head.  I happened here by chance.  I can’t say that I’m disappointed.  You let me be a normal person without prodding me about my life.  Truly a fucking rarity in this day and age.  I know I don’t have it as bad as some famous people but it’s still exhausting none the less.  I didn’t want to leave two weeks ago but I didn’t have a choice.  I knew I had to come back.  Crazy as it may seem, I wanted to see you again.”

JC’s rambling confession cut through Charlie.  The last thing she expected was for him to be so forthcoming, so honest.  She felt pretty small at that moment.  Her gaze had met his once again in the middle of his tirade.

“What do you want from me?”  She couldn’t think of anything else to say at the moment.  He closed the gap between them again, nearly pinning her against the truck.  This time, his hands came up to cradle her neck, his thumbs stroking each of her cheeks.  He forced their eyes to maintain contact.

“A friend.  I connected to you because of your musicality.  I enjoy spending time with you.  I want a friend.”  JC continued to stroke Charlie’s cheeks and licked his bottom lip.  Her breathing became shallow by this action.  She knew what was coming next.  His breath fanned across her lips.  Her fists were clenched so tight at her sides, her finger nails left deep, half-moon imprints in her palms.  Her eyelids fluttered shut as she felt him tilt her head.

A loud whooping of police sirens snapped Charlie and JC out of their trance.  A bright light landed on both of them resulting in them using their hands to shield their eyes from the blinding intrusion.  The moment was ruined.

“Is everything okay here, Charlie?”  Nither one of them could see the officer because of the beam shining on them but Charlie knew the voice.  It was the graveyard shift sheriff’s deputy doing his regular patrol through town.

“Yeah Ricky, we’re good.  Thank you for checking.”  The officer turned off the light, giving them both relief from the painful invasion.  He watched the two of them for a few more moments before re-entering his squad car.  He pulled his car to the opposite side of the road where he parked.  Charlie assumed Deputy Ricky would sit there until she safely made it into her vehicle and was on her way.  “I need to go.”

JC stopped her from getting in the truck.  He had been so close to kissing her and he felt he almost broke through the wall she put up.

“Please don’t--.”  Charlie placed a hand on JC’s chest, causing him to shut up instantly.

“Please.  Just give me a minute to think.  I just need….I want a moment to breath.  Please give me that Josh.”  He gave a slight nod, putting a few feet of distance between them.  She slipped inside the truck, driving away slowly.

JC was left standing in the middle of the road, watched Charlie’s taillights disappear in the distance.