I know people make promises all the time

Then they turn right around and break them

When someone cuts your heart open with a knife, now you're bleeding

But I could be that guy to heal it over time

And I won't stop until you believe it

'Cause baby you're worth it

These words from the concert the previous night played over and over in Charlie’s head.  JC stood behind her as his friend stood on stage performing the song and whispered the lyrics in her ear.  He sang them to her as if he wrote them for her.  The feeling of his hot breath on her neck stirred both pleasure and guilt inside her stomach.  Was she really worth it?

Charlie and JC had a great time at the concert.  They sat in the VIP booth away from most of the fans.  JC had been polite enough to sign a couple autographs.  A few overzealous fans were snapping pictures and asking if Charlie was his girlfriend.  She tried to shield her face from the camera phones being pointed at her.  Once the show started, all attention was directed to the stage which they both appreciated.

Charlie tried to lose herself in the music by singing and dancing along.  She had a great day with JC but she knew she needed to have an honest conversation with him soon.  If he couldn’t handle her fucked up past, she needed to rip the bandaid off now.  

Getting out of the arena had been a bit of a nightmare.  They hung back and waited for the tour buses to exit which would cause most of the fans to disperse quickly thereafter.  JC opted to drive the trek back to Charlie’s house as she appeared too tired to drive.  She ended up falling asleep shortly after they made it onto the highway.

JC enjoyed watching Charlie cut loose and have fun.  At times she acted almost goofy which he found cute.  She was showing more of her true self.  He just needed to dig deeper into what was driving her into hiding.  He tried to do some research on her via social media and a general internet search but found zero information.  It appeared as though she didn’t exist.  He didn’t pry beyond that since he feared being too invasive would drive her away.

For this trip out to visit Charlie, JC flew in and rented a car rather than driving since he was only staying a long weekend.  She had also offered him to stay with her rather than the hotel.  Being that she wasn’t prepared for a houseguest, she didn’t have a bed other than her own.  His first night there, JC was on the couch but after a few hours of tossing and turning, he climbed in bed with Charlie.  She hadn’t protested though Cosmo seemed a bit perturbed.

They still had not had sex.  Slowly but surely, Charlie was becoming more comfortable with increased physical contact and JC remained respectful to not push too hard.  They found a comfort in one another just laying next to each other at night.  An arm across the waist or a hand on the lower back provided a soothing atmosphere as they slept.

Charlie had woken before JC the morning after the concert.  She turned to watch him sleep.  She recalled how sweet he had been the night before when they finally made it back to her house, well past midnight.  He nearly carried her into the house.  She managed to stay awake long enough to change into her tank top and linen pajama pants before collapsing into bed where she snuggled close to him, falling back asleep almost instantly.    

After watching JC sleep for a few minutes, Charlie moved to exit the bed.  She sat on the edge, stretching her tired body.  As she moved to stand, she felt an arm snake around her waist, pulling her back to lay down.  JC pulled Charlie to his chest, hugging her tightly.  His eyes remained closed and she listened to his heart beat steadily for a moment.

“I need to get up.  I have a phone call to make.”  Her index finger patterned small circles across his t-shirt covered torso.

“Not yet.  Just enjoy the moment.”  Charlie felt the vibration of his chest as he spoke.  JC placed his lips against her forehead, not loosening his grip on her.  She moved her leg to throw over his hip, repositioning herself so she was straddling his waist; an act that threw him for a loop.  His blue eyes met hers from her sitting position above him.  His hands traced up and down her thighs.  She smiled sweetly at him.

“You sleep.  I really have a call I need to make.”  Charlie brought her head down briefly to place a wet kiss on JC’s neck, her hips doing a slow grinding motion against his before hopping off the bed while she had the chance.  He watched her bound towards the bathroom.

“You tease!” He playfully chided at her before she turned to wink at him and close the bathroom door.  He rolled over to try to fall back asleep.  He glanced at the bedside clock showing it was eight thirty.  They had only gone to sleep six hours prior.

JC heard Charlie exit the bathroom and move out of the bedroom.  He laid there staring at the ceiling, recalling the previous day in his head.  He smiled to himself at the great time they had.  He laid in bed, lazily dozing in and out of consciousness.  He looked again at the clock seeing it was a quarter past nine.  He figured his attempts to fall back asleep were in vain, deciding to get up.  He didn’t hear any movement in the kitchen which peaked his curiosity.

Once his morning bathroom routine was taken care of, JC entered the kitchen which was eerily quiet.  He could smell the lingering scent of a cup of coffee that Charlie brewed.  He followed suit prepping himself a much needed cup.  With his coffee in hand, he set out in search of her.  He moved down the hallway on the opposite side of the house, faintly hearing her speaking to someone.

JC found Ginny laying in the hallway outside Charlie’s office, chewing on a dog toy.  The office door was left partially open.  He leaned against the door frame, sipping his coffee, watching Charlie balance a cell phone on her shoulder while she typed away on her keyboard.  Cosmo lay on the floor at the end of her desk, almost standing guard.

JC noted to himself that the phone Charlie was using was not the cell phone she typically carried with her.  She normally used a newer model smartphone while the one she was currently speaking into appeared to be an old flip phone.  He tried not to think too much of it as he listened to her speak animatedly to whomever was on the other end of the line.

“I’m telling you Dave, I have triple checked it.  You have a formula error on the spreadsheet which has overstated your projected revenues on your ten-year cash flow.  We’re talking millions of dollars…..I don’t know how three other people missed it but you need to roll it back up to them ASAP…..Since you don’t have the revenue stream you guys thought, you’re gonna have to push some of your capital expenditures out a few years to compensate.”

JC was fascinated with the side of Charlie’s conversation that he was hearing.  She was carrying on about what sounded to be a very lucrative financial matter.  He had no idea she was so well versed in accounting being that she tended bar.  He entered further into the room and took a seat across from her.  She smiled politely at him, motioning with her finger to give her a moment.

“Look, just email it over to me and I’ll take a look at it next week.  I’m busy the next few days but I can look at it Monday….I’ll call you then…..Okay, you too.  Bye.”  Charlie ended her phone call, powering off the cell phone before slipping it her desk drawer.

“That sounded pretty serious.  Should I be worried?  You don’t secretly work for the mob do you?  Am I going to get whacked?”  JC made himself more comfortable, kicking his feet up onto Charlie’s desk.  She snickered at him before pushing his feet off, nearly causing him to spill the hot liquid in his mug on himself.

“You caught me.  I do the books for the mob.  Being that they are such upstanding citizens and properly prepare their financial statements monthly.  I gotta float my lavish lifestyle somehow.”  Charlie folded her hands together on top of the desk and cocked an eyebrow at JC.

“Hey, who am I to judge?  I’m just not looking to end up in the crossfire of some turf war.”  She shook her head wryly as she closed the programs on her computer.

“Someone is a comedian this morning.”  Once the computer was shut down, Charlie exited the office with JC hot on her tail.

“I’m not usually this sharp with only a handful of hours of sleep but someone was a tease this morning so I couldn’t fall back asleep.”  He reached out to gently pinch her in the ass as they walked towards the kitchen.  She yelped and smacked at his hand.

“Hey now.  I had to use any means necessary to get you to let me out of bed.  I told you I had a phone call.”  Charlie began filling the sink with warm, soapy water to wash a few dirty dishes.

“So how many jobs do you have?”  JC hopped up on the counter opposite from where she was placing dishes into the water.

“Just the two here.”  She had her back to him and didn’t offer anything else as an explanation.

“Then what was that whole thing on the phone?”  He was becoming frustrated with the vague answers.

“I was helping out an old friend.”  Again, another vague, short answer.

“Come on Charlie.  Throw me a bone.  Since when does a bartender provide extensive advice about revenues and capital expenditures worth millions of dollars?”  Charlie turned from her task, her hands dripping soapy water onto the floor when she faced JC.  He had leaned back, resting on his hands.  She took in his fitted grey t-shirt and too long flannel pajama pants that sat low on his waist.  He looked pretty damn cute with that serious expression on his face.  She turned back to the sink.  She debated how much she was reach to spill to him.

“I worked several years as an accountant before I moved here.  I was talking to my old boss on the phone, going over their annual budget.  He refuses to accept that I don’t work for him anymore.  They use me as a consultant throughout the year.”  That explained all the spreadsheets JC had seen strewn across Charlie’s desk.

“An accountant, huh?  So you do people’s taxes and shit?”  She chuckled, her eyes not leaving the water in front of her.

“No, I’m definitely not a tax accountant.  I have too much personality for that.  I’m good with numbers and I like research so I got a degree in accounting, focusing on audit and white collar crimes.”

“And now you work as a bartender.”  Charlie turned once again to face JC again.  She flicked soapy water at him, glaring at his comment.

“Watch it asshole.  Forgive me if I don’t live up to your expectations.”  He chuckled at her obvious anger at him.  He wasn’t trying to piss her off but she confused him.  He hopped off the counter, closing the space between them.  She pushed his shoulder in warning, leaving a wet handprint on his shirt.

“Don’t.”  Charlie turned away from JC.  She was regretting opening up.  It further hindered her decision on when to drop her entire life story on him.  He pushed his body flush against hers, his arms circling around her waist.  She bumped his hip, attempting to get him to back off.  “I’m serious, don’t touch me.”

“Charlie….”  He didn’t move to release his hold on her.  She tilted her head away from him when he started placing kisses along the column of her neck, trying to get away but it only served to give him better access.  “I don’t care what you do for a living.  I’m just trying to figure you out.  As for expectations, you have far exceed any that I had.  I just want you to open up to me.”

“I’m scared.”  JC pulled back to get a better look at Charlie’s face.  Her head was bowed, her eyes downcast into the sink, her hands motionless in the dishwater in front of her.

“Scared of what?  Scared of me?”

“Scared of what you could do to my heart.  My last heartbreak almost killed me.”  Her voice was raw, full of emotion.

“You have to tell me these things.  Talk to me!  I want to know what you’re thinking and what you’re feeling.  Relationships are always a risk but I will try my damnedest not hurt you and I hope you give me the same consideration.”

Charlie bit the inside of her check, mulling over what JC just said.  Give him the same consideration.  But could he handle it all.  She could barely handle it all and it was her burden to bear.  Her fingers skimmed the water; she could feel they were pretty pruned.

“I was married for almost nine years before it fell apart and my husband divorced me.  The first major challenge in our relationship and his solution was divorce.  No other consideration was given.  I vowed until death do us part and him divorcing me nearly killed me.”  She chuckled wryly.  “How pathetic, I wasn’t even able to make it out of my twenties without becoming another fucking statistic.”

Charlie couldn’t bring herself to look at JC.  He hadn’t moved away from her in disgust but she was fearful of his facial expression after she just dumped a small part of her emotional baggage on him.  All she could hear was his even breathing next to her ear.

“It’s shitty you had to go through that.  It doesn’t make you pathetic.  It makes you human.”  He moved her hair off of her neck that had fallen in his way and resumed placing wet kisses across her skin.  “Thank you for trusting me enough to share that with me.”

Charlie lifted her left hand out of the soapy water, bringing it rest against JC’s cheek, leaving soap suds to run down his neck.  She turned her head to capture his lips in a passionate kiss.  When her hand moved up into his hair, JC took that as his queue to move his hands under her tank top.  He slowly explored her abdomen, creeping upward.

Upon making contact with Charlie’s breasts, JC pinched each nipple gently.  She broke the kiss when an electric current of pleasure shot down her stomach.  A loud moan escaped her lips, fisting his hair.  Her hips bucked involuntarily, pressing her ass against his groin.  JC sucked on her earlobe as he groaned.  Charlie’s head fell back against his shoulder, enjoying the feeling.

JC swept his right hand down her stomach, playing with the hem of her pajama pants.  He hesitated to go any further.  Charlie had just revealed a very raw, emotional piece of her past and he didn’t want to seem as though he was taking advantage of her vulnerability.

Charlie rested her right hand on top of JC’s, guiding his hand inside the hem of her pajamas and panties.  When his fingers finally made contact with their mark, her sharp gasps filled the kitchen.  Both of his hands moved simultaneously, causing her to create a chorus of moans and sighs.  She felt he was skillfully playing her body like an instrument.

As she rode his hand, Charlie’s hips bucked, grinding into JC hard.  She could feel his erection pressing into her ass.  She started to become lightheaded.

“Does that feel good, baby?  Do you like it when I touch you?”  The low, husky tone of his voice nearly sent her over the edge.

“God, yes!  Fuck, don’t stop!”  He truly had no clue what kind of pleasure he was causing her at that moment.  It had been so long since anyone had made her feel this way.  He kept his pace steady, enjoying the noises he was causing her.

Abruptly, she turned in his arms, momentarily breaking the contact of his hands on her.  She crashed her lips against his, both of them stumbling back until JC hit the opposite counter.  His fingers dug into Charlie’s hips as her arms rested atop his shoulders.  Flipping them both around quickly, he hoisted her up on the counter as they nipped at each other’s lips.

JC hooked both of his index fingers into the waistband of her pants, temporarily breaking the contact of their kiss to look into her eyes.  He froze.  He could see the lust in her eyes, begging him to continue.  But mixed in with the lust was fear.  She was still holding back and this really wasn’t how he wanted their first time to be; he hadn’t waited nearly three months just to screw her on her kitchen counter.   

Charlie could see that JC’s eyes had darkened in the heat of the moment.  He wanted her as much as she wanted him at that moment but she watched the hesitation creep across his face.  Her smile faltered.  He was doubting sleeping with her; she could see it in his eyes.  She pulled her tank top down to its original position.  She was humiliated.  She moved to slide off the counter but he stopped her.

“Wait Charlie, I didn’t--”

“Save it.  I don’t want to hear it.  This is the second time I’ve literally thrown myself at you and I really can’t handle another rejection.  I look like a fool.”  Anger was building inside her, more at herself but some at him as well.

“This is not how I want our first time be.  Not some cheap quickie on your kitchen counter.  I’m not rejecting you.  I want you.  I want to sleep with you.  God, do I want to sleep with you.”  JC pinched the bridge of his nose to calm his hormones and his erection.  “But I can see a hesitation and a fear in your eyes.  I won’t take advantage of your vulnerability just to satisfy my sexual wants.  We’ll get there, just not like this.”

Charlie couldn’t help but smile.  Granted, she had only been with a handful of men in her sexual “career” but JC was the first to not put his own sexual desires in front everything else.  She felt shitty for thinking he would be a typical male, more so a typical celebrity, and jump in her pants the first chance he got.  She had her fair share of interactions with chauvinistic male celebrities that could have cared less that she was married at the time.  Wife swapping seemed to run rampant throughout their exclusive little group.

Charlie figured JC had had his fair share of women.  Sure she liked his music but she honestly hadn’t followed his career regularly but she had done a recent internet search to see what she could find out about his dating history.  If she asked him, she figured he’d likely be honest but he had others prying into his life and she didn’t want to be one of them.  She had tasted a small amount of that prying herself and hated it.

“Are you real?  I’ve never had a guy not put his sexual wants first.”

“Oh, I’m very real.  You obviously weren’t dating the right men.  But mark my words,” he leaned in close to her ear “when it happens, it’s on.  I’ll do things to you that will make you--”  Charlie clamped her hand over JC’s mouth.

“Down tiger.  Don’t finish that sentence unless you plan on following through right this minute.”  He gently nipped at her hand across his mouth which she removed.  He kissed her sweetly, pushing his tongue past the seam of her mouth.  He tasted amazing to her.

“I’ll follow through and then some.”  JC’s eyes twinkled with mischief.  “I wanted to share something with you that I wrote.  You shared your notebook with me a few weeks ago and I wanted to do the same.”  His face turned serious.  

“Of course.”  Charlie watched as JC walked into her bedroom.  He returned moments later with his leather-bound notebook.  He ran his hand nervously over the cover.  He’d never allowed a woman he dated to read something he had written about her directly out of his notebook before.  Charlie was doing something to him that caused him to have a lot of firsts with her.

“I told you a while back that I went on that road trip because I had writer’s block and needed to get away for a while.  I was hoping that a change of scenery would spark inspiration to get me back into the groove.  I definitely found it.”  JC paused briefly, nearly chickening out.  “The first night I heard you sing at the bar, I caught my first wave of inspiration.  The more time I spent with you, the less my writer’s block has hindered me.  I’ve been writing like crazy.  I have one writing in particular that I wrote about you.  Because of you, I’ve found my music again.  You’ve become a muse.”

Charlie was stunned silent.  She had never been a muse to anyone before, especially to someone of JC’s status.  She watched him flip through several pages before stopping at the one he wanted.  He placed the book in her hands.  She continued to stare at him for several seconds before lower her eyes.

You hide behind blank and hollow eyes

Reeling from the pain of so many lies

The fear of letting love in once again

Just know I’m here, no matter when

You’re ready to open up and let me in

So show me the darkest corners of your mind

Where no one else goes

Let me see all the scars you hide

They’re a roadmap of all your woes

You’ve become the master of disguise

I can see it in your lifeless eyes

Uncloak your heart and dry your tears

I’ll be there to quiet your fears

Let go of what you’re not

And show me who you are

My love is never too far

I want to taste your soul

“Wow.”  Charlie’s voice was barely a whisper.  She felt as though JC had pulled these words straight from her soul.  She hadn’t realized how transparent she had been.  She thought she was doing a good job of hiding all of her pain.  “This is beautiful, Josh.  Thank you for showing me this.”

The level of trust it took for JC to open up and share his original writing was something Charlie never expected to experience.  She didn’t believe that either of them had quite reached the “love” stage of their relationship but there were feelings stirring for sure.  Neither of them could deny it.