I slide into the back seat of the black Escalade and can’t help but roll my eyes at the extravagance. A full display of snacks and drinks laid out, along with a bouquet of flowers, sleep mask, AirPods, and scented candle.
An Uber or even a cab would have been more than fine, especially considering the drive from the airport to the house is all of 45 minutes. But Justin insisted.
It’s almost comical how often I find myself saying that…. Justin insisted.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely don’t mean that negatively in any way… his persistence has more than paid off in so many aspects of not just his life, but the lives of almost everyone around him.
His career… the careers of others he’s been part of… finances… our home… our relationship… our daughter… our friends… so many things that his persistence somehow impacted. Sure, sometimes he annoys the shit out of me, but today, we’re going to focus on the positives.
I think the ultimate way Justin’s persistence has paid off over the years, and I’m sure at least 85% of the female population between the ages of 10 and 50 will agree, was on full display on September 12th, 2023.
Justin Timberlake, JC Chasez, Lance Bass, Chris Kirkpatrick and Joey Fatone walked out on stage at the MTV Video Music Awards for the first time in a decade… as Nsync.
And then the roller coaster started.
Not that our lives haven’t always been a batshit insane roller coaster, but this Nsync stuff is on a whole other level.
The part that’s interesting is that it really wasn’t supposed to turn into this. I know there’s the theories that it was some calculated plan, but it really wasn’t.
C’mon y’all… I love him dearly, but my husband ain’t always the brightest crayon in the box.
Anyway, back the point, cause I swear, I do actually have one!
So… when Justin first got the Trolls script and read it, we pretty much knew what would be asked of him. He took some time and thought it over, talked to the guys, and the plan initially had been just guest cameo’s as a rival boyband.
When Justin started working on the soundtrack, he wrote Better Place, and the demo was fantastic.
However, the perfectionist insisted something was missing. He spent weeks playing around with the vocals, the bass, the synth… you name it, he fucked with it in some way. No matter what he did, he still swore something was missing and it was trash until he figured it out or wrote something else.
Justin scrapped Better Place entirely. Then there was the idea of remixing Nsync stuff for a modern sound and using that. When he started on the remix for I Want You Back, it finally clicked.
It took two months for Justin to realize Better Place was an Nsync song. It took another month to convince the other guys, three more months to coordinate schedules, then two days in the studio later, Better Place was finally complete to Justin’s standard.
It was going to be the “theme” song for the movie and an awesome little taste of nostalgia.
I tried to tell him he was delusional if he thought people weren’t going to go absolutely apeshit over this song. Warned him that the fans, the label, possibly even the guys would want it to go further.
He told me to pull the stick out of my ass and relax, because there was absolutely no way it would be that big of a deal.
“It’s been 20 years, Madison… “ He said, rolling his eyes and sighing at me like he’s done since the night we met. “They know it’s over by now… they’ll get it. They get us… they’ll know.”
So, after the six months it took the get Better Place recorded… a month of making sure everyone’s schedules would be clear for the VMA’s and movie premiere… Nsync walked out in that stage, and I knew immediately.
In an instant, I felt the electricity in the air, heard the gasps and “oh my god”‘s all around me… In that second, I knew our lives had just changed.
I didn’t know how much, but I knew.
First, came the internet hype. Justin saw it, and assumed it was the excitement of nostalgia and it would die down in a couple weeks. Then the single was released, then the chart and sales numbers started rolling in… I could already see the wheels turning in his head. He knew he misjudged the situation, but he didn’t quite know what to do about it. Then the movie came out, and the box office numbers came in… and that’s when he finally understood.
It might have been 20 years. But it wasn’t over.
I didn’t come into the picture until long after the Nsync pandemonium had died down. Justin was at the peak of his solo success, the movies were somehow doing fairly well…
Oh come on… you all have seen those movies. Sure, a couple were decent, and he was even good in some of them… but don’t act like y’all don’t know what I’m talking about. I love him and support him no matter what, but he needs to play to his strengths. And he’s got plenty of them.
Anyway. The Nsync thing, until this last two years, has never really been a part of my life with Justin…. Well, apart from the brotherly resentment and competition between Justin and JC that I’ve been dealing with for close to 15 years, but that was also kind of its own thing.
Until all of this began, I didn’t realize just how much of our lives revolved around me and my career. I’m sure I sound like an idiot, and of course I clearly remember the sacrifices Justin made for me, but it really has been my career that’s guided our lives all these years.
And now flipping that script is entirely too fucking strange for words.
I’m a touring musician. I always have been, and probably always will be. So if I’m not on the road… I just don’t feel right.
But, I know he needs this. And I know I need to make some sacrifices for him.
Justin walked away from everything for me. Justin took a chance on me and a cover band after I’d walked away from him and my career. He’s spent the last four years running the label and raising our daughter.
And now, he has been given the opportunity of a lifetime. To revisit his youth. To go back to the beginning of his career and relive it. To see 20 plus years of adoration on the faces of people who knew this would happen someday. To reconnect with the four men who helped shape him into the man he is today.
He’s been given such an incredible gift, and I can’t remember the last time I saw him this insanely excited about a work project.
He fought it for so long and swore it was done and he’d outgrown it… but I think there’s always been a small part of him that wished he could go back. No matter how well he was doing on his own, I think something inside of him has always felt like the puzzle wasn’t complete when he was on his own. I’d swear, there have been times over the years where I watched him perform, and I’d swear, for a split second here and there, I could see his eyes searching the stage for his brothers. Like it was unnatural to look across a stage and not see them.
I can’t even put into words how excited I am for him. The joy this has brought him has been one of the best things I’ve ever witnessed.
But there’s a part of me that’s terrified. Our lives have been unconventional. I’ve been a working mother for three years. How is my daughter going to handle the upheaval in her routine? How am I going to adjust to “normal” life? How is this album and tour going to impact our lives going forward?
How long is it gonna take for me to punch a grown ass Nsync fan cause she made a play at Justin?
Kidding… ish.
As we approach the wrought iron gates to enter the community, I can feel my chest begin to tighten.
It’s been exactly 3 months and 3 days since I’ve been home…. I probably could have toured this last album for another six months, but this was the deal.
I could release the album, do a small run of the US, and come home in time for Nsync to head out, or I could shelve the album until the groups US tour was finished.
I couldn’t sit on the album for another year, so here we are. But I know it’s the right thing to do. Justin deserves this and it makes him so fucking happy, and there is nothing in the world I love more than seeing him and that little girl smile.
The car slows to a stop in the driveway and I can’t help but smile at the pink and purple toys scattered all over the porch and front yard. When I’m gone, I almost have to force myself to forget what life is like at home, because when I start missing them… it’s honestly a pain I can’t even describe. It doesn’t ease up, you can’t ignore it… it’s always there, front and center. And don’t even get me started on the guilt…
I slide out of the car and can’t help but smirk at the drivers shock when I begin unloading my own bags. You’d think after all these years, people would get that we are somewhat normal.
I thank him and head for the front door, the sounds of cheerful music and laughter getting louder as I get closer. I can already feel the smile breaking out across my face, and the tears well up in my eyes when I hear Justin’s excited shouts of “Mommy’s home!”, followed by the sounds of their footsteps bounding toward the door.
The door flies open and a blur of blonde curls is propelled into my arms, and Justin nearly topples the three of us to the ground.
I’m home.
