But something happened

for the very first time with you

My heart melts into the ground

Found something true

And everyone’s looking round

Thinkin’ I’m going crazy

But I don’t care what they say

I’m in love with you

They try to pull me away

But they don’t know the truth

I was dressed to impress that morning. I had bought a new suit from Express and had on the cutest camisole underneath it. I was looking like a new person, a person that after everything she went through in the past couple of months was ready to get back to her career and start again. I was dressed, I was ready, but I couldn’t seem to convey that message to my heart.

It started out simple enough, walking back into Jive until I hit the conference room. I had expected a well known artist, I had expected something that would keep me busy and away from him. But fate wasn’t holding my cards all that well.

He was there with Trace and some girl that didn’t look familiar at all. I was told to sit down by Clive and I did so but only to feel his eyes on me even more. Throughout the first awkward moments of silence, I felt myself burning on my face under his looks. I couldn’t hide the fact that there was something still there for him after all of this.

“So as you see, Diana. Esmee is a part of Justin’s Tennman Records and he has requested that you be representing her as her publicist...”

Trying hard not to hear,

but they talk so loud

“This of course comes to Jive as very sad news as we will be letting you go and you will be fully employed by Justin and Trace...”

Their piercing sounds fill my ears

Try to fill me with doubt

“This also means that any previous instructions you’ve had concerning your contact with Justin are null in void.”

Yet I know that the goal

Is to keep me from falling

“Now, Diana, if you’ll just sign your release forms, we’ll be happy to give you your last paycheck.”

Clive walks out of the room to leave me there to sign the papers. Searching for words throughout my brain I finally have enough nerve to speak up.

“What in the hell is going on here, Justin?” I stammer.

But nothing’s greater

Than the risk that comes with your embrace

“Trace, Esmee, can you guys give us a minute.” He pleads.

Getting up, Trace gives me a convincing smile and Esmee shakes my hand explaining how excited she is that I’ll be helping her. And it returns, the deafening silence.

“What is this, Justin?” I ask again, “Because I sure as hell do not understand what is going on here.”

With his head in his hands he pleads, “Just be quiet a minute, Diana, I’m trying to figure out how to say this to you.”

And I stay there, sitting, waiting for his response and he finally lifts his face up and I’m met with the same eyes that I fell in love with. 

And in this world of loneliness

I see your face

“That night was the biggest mistake of my life. That night I wanted nothing more than to slap her across the face and run to you. I would give my whole life to rewind back to that night and have a second chance, but I can’t so I’m not even going to try. I was wrong for inviting her to come, I know that, I know I fucked up big time. But I never thought it would turn out the way it did. I didn’t think Jive would force us back into a relationship after everything she put me through when they knew damn well that I’m still in love with you. I was pissed, frustrated, but I couldn’t do anything because they threatened to fire you and black ball you so that nobody would want you.”

Taking a breath, he gets up from his chair across from me and walks to where I’m sitting. I can already feel the ice around my heart slowly starting to melt. 

Yet everyone around me

Thinks that I’m going crazy, maybe, maybe

“But then it hit me when I recorded with Esmee. I wasn’t going to let Jive take credit for something I discovered so I did the only thing I could think of, I started my own label. Jess of course was dead set against it, but I told her to go fuck herself and leave me alone because I knew you’d be supportive. Then I realized somebody was going to have to handle her PR stuff and I knew exactly who would be perfect for the job.”

“This girl was going to have to be perfect. Smart, funny, charming, somebody that the press would just eat up when she said “no comment.” This girl was going to have to be everyone’s sweetheart and the nicest person to be around because Esmee was going to be the next big thing. But she couldn’t be a pushover, she had to stand her ground,” he said.

Looking up again at him I saw the smile that had begun to form on his face and I start to realize that no matter what’s gone wrong, I still love him. 

But I don’t care what they say

I’m in love with you

“She was going to have to be forgiving but I knew just the girl who was qualified for that job.”

“And who would that be,” I question.

“The girl standing right in front of me. The woman that through all of the hell I’ve put her through still stands tall and strong. The woman that a year ago I fell in love with. The woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with, regardless of what the press or a record company thinks. Because, at the end of the day, I could lose every last fucking cent and if I had you, I would still be okay. And if there was anything I could do to make it up to this woman, I would because I want her to want to spend the rest of her life with this man.”

They try to pull me away

But they don’t know the truth

“Look at me, Diana,” he pleads.

And through my tears, I see him again. I see him for what he really is. I see the man that I could never stop loving. 

“And what does this woman have to do to get the job?” I ask.

My heart’s crippled by the vein 

That I keep on closing

“She’s got to be off the market.” He states.

With that, he pulls out a pen with the ring that used to occupy my finger around it.  Pulling it off the pen, I put it back onto my ring finger.

You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding

“So should I even ask you to marry me?” He questions.

“I think you already know the answer,” I reply. 

Keep, keep bleeding love

I keep bleeding 

I keep, keep bleeding love

Leona Lewis- Keep Bleeding Love